Ok, not like me lately but....I haven't weighed less then 224 since my stint with Weight Watchers more then 10 years ago...it's been since my stint with OA more then 15 years ago!

Logically, I know that I deserve this, that I want it...but there is still this little part of me that wonders if reaching my goals will happen. Wonders if I am going to wake up and be 326 again in the morning, pre-surgery and still fighting for my life. Nutball!

AND not the most rational of thoughts but I got on the scale at the gym tonight and was holding my breath until it came out that I weighed nearly the same as my home scale...like someone has been messing with my mind and changing the numbers all this time or some such thing...LUNITIC!


Ah well, I guess there is a period of adjustment I am in desperate need of!


Angela

I gotta tell ya, my mom had gastric bypass in the summer of '06. She started at 330 pounds. She has been at 160 for some time now, and she still buys clothes that are WAY too big for her. While her confidence has sky-rocketed, she still has her same addictions, except now she learns the hard way. She loves sweets and has been sick many times from overeating. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't wish she had this surgery 15 years ago. My dad died in March of '06, and I know that is a major reason she regrets not doing it long ago.
I love her very much and admire her courage. I admire your courage too. I think when the weight comes off so fast, it takes a while for your brain to catch up. That's what it is like for her. She has made huge changes though -- don't get me wrong. She eats very healthy, besides sweets binges here and there. If she sees a gain on the scale, she goes back to strict dieting. I think my mom, in her dreams, still sees herself pre-surgery. Things I never even realized she thought about she confides in me now.
No one is messing with your scale. You did all that hard work. You go girl! You've worked so hard, you should treat yourself to something special like a mani, maybe a pedi -- anything! You deserve it. I just wanted to share my mom's story with you, because I know she feels a lot of the same insecurities.

You hit the nail on the head. It can take many years for the brain to say WHOAH!!! thats really ME!!!

Years ago when I lost 150 lbs (from 300 down to 150) my brain still saw the 300 lb person, even years later. It takes time to train the brain. I really believe that staying happy is the key !!

Your doing wonderful Angela, you really are and YES you do deserve it.

Angela I think we're having different incarnations of the same day!
I'm on facebook and a few ppl from HS have friended me
and then I see their friends and all of a sudden I'm 15 a beachball and painfully selfconcious not the 32 year old Hey Hot Lady I am now (which has nothing to do with weight I just decided one day I was a voluptuous goddess and ran with it!)
I don't see myself as thin yet and it's going to be a long time before the brain catches up with the body. But it will happen

KO -
That is awesome. That makes my day. Thanks!

I've really been going through this Ange. I'm so different when I look in the mirror I don't see myself well...right! I see a thin older woman with a big nose and scrawny neck, big ears and droopy shoulders and ......see. Now when I get my clothes on I see a 308 lbs woman with a fat belly, big butt and most of my clothes I'm buying are still too big for me because I'm afraid people will see all the imperfections of me. Will I every come to grips with this new person. I don't know, but I still go by a mirror at the store and get upset because I think I look fat! I know I'm not, I know I'm not perfect figure wise, but I'm thinking that deep down I want to look like some perfect slim model with a snappy skin, clear complexion without the wrinkles, and nice perky boobs. I'm healthy as a horse and know I'm not a horse anymore, but I'm thinking my brain just has to catch up with the new me. My health has so improved and I think God about that every single day, but as for the looks and the way I perceive myself, I'll just have to get use to them.

Aw, I just wanted to give you a

Green Perceptions can be a very helpful thing! it's all about loving yourself

Nan My stretchmarks have stretchmarks and you know what I'm becoming ok with that
even if I had been thin all my life I'll never have a perfect bod.
I have CP so some ppl regardless of how skinny or perky I am are going to look at me and see broken they just will and you know what
Blank them they suck!
Other ppl are going to look at me whether I'm 140 or 225 and say Wow that girls Nuts (in the best way) and really cute () and those ppl well lol I think they're right!
Nan and Ange
You ladies are Awesome You're fun You're Sassy You took your own lives into your own hands and said I'm doing this FOR ME!
That's pretty Amazing in my book!

I'd love to get a fluff and fold to the old bones (and breasts!) however If I don't. .. that's why there are supportive Undergarments! The bra I have on right now COuld probably take down an armored Tank! But Dammit The girls look Awesome!
ok my days winding down and I just complemented my own rack! I think it's time to hit the bricks!
Love,
Kierie

I joined the "I'm a goddess...like it or lump it! " coalition years ago and hope to maintain my membership for the rest of my years!

thanks...I needed that reminder.

Angela

Angela I love you're new pic! you look Fab!

Thanks...the jeans were an amazing second hand find! They're perfect for me and long enough for a change.

Gosh I'm not even gay and I might want to date you! LOL! You look so nice my dear, happy and healthy. The jeans are a perfect fit! It must be all of that salsa.

LOLOLOL Not that way either but thanks Nancy!