another biiggg binge yesterday that included drive thru's at 4 fastfood places...
today wasnt quite as a bad with only one drive through, i stopped at a 7-11 to get junk food but got the willpower up to just leave with a diet soda and a cosmo
Sorry you're having such a tough time. I used to do drive thrus too. One of the things that helped was throwing the food out the car window at a high rate of speed. Dangerous and weird I know, but it gave me a sense of control and power. I still binge occasionally at home, but no more drive thrus.
I always do this. I always eat so so so healthy up until around 5 o clock. Then I have a massive binge at work and feel disgusting until I go to bed. It wasn't so bad today..... I'm really trying to kick the habit. I've been doing a strict no sugar no flour diet (only whole foods) for some time, and I've been doing great except for the binging...
Today I had oatmeal and strawberries for breakfast, plain lowfat yogurt and a banana for a snack, then for lunch I had; a whole bunch of cookie dough (I'm not even sure how much) a (large) baked cookie, and the top of a cupcake. Last week was absolutely awful. On Thursday I had about six (huge) cookies and half a loaf of bread. I am so ashamed of myself.
weightonmymind -
I frequently have binging dreams when I'm abstaining from the binges. My therapist said they are similar to user dreams that recovering drug addicts have. I guess just try to wait them out, they usually go away after a week or so for me. I know how you feel though, i'll wake up after a binge dream and be so worked up because it was so realistic, and then realize it was just a dream!
Since I joined 3FC (3.5 lbs ago) I haven't needed to come on this thread, been so pleased with my lack of binging and here I am.
Darn.
After a huge eating day (which could have then been recovered from) i continued on with about 8 jaffa cakes and THEN i actually made cookies JUST SO I COULD EAT THE MIX. That is so wrong.
Gggrrr I'd been doing so well and am determined not to let a few off days and one real binge out ruin this. Tomorrow is another day.
I cooked them, and just had one with some milk WHILE I wrote the above post. Realising how wrong that is I have just wet them all and put them in the rubbish. Not even considering keeping them for the flatmates because they won't go fast enough and I'll eat more.
This willpower and weight loss malarchy is not easy!
weightonmymind -
I frequently have binging dreams when I'm abstaining from the binges. My therapist said they are similar to user dreams that recovering drug addicts have. I guess just try to wait them out, they usually go away after a week or so for me. I know how you feel though, i'll wake up after a binge dream and be so worked up because it was so realistic, and then realize it was just a dream!
Gah, I had another one last night! Was about bacon and a big breakfast type meal. I ate it in the dream and woke up freaking out thinking I had actually eaten it. I know that's my eating disorders speaking but still. Seems a bit much. Also, that thing about the drug dreams are definitely true. I have also had those. Just the food ones are actually worse...
Weightonmymind -
UGH! Sorry you're still having those dreams. I know they are brutal. They affect my mood the entire next day, and seem to bother me more than any other type of dream because my binging dreams are so realistic. Usually my dreams will have very blatent elements of crazyness, but my binge dreams...not so. They are exactly how my binges occur in real life. Everything down to the food, and feelings, and anxiety that is attached with my real life binges. Keep strong, sometimes I listen to music or keep my tv on low just to have something in the background when I'm going through a phase of binge dreams. Sometimes it helps my subconcious focus on something other than food. Good luck!
Weightonmymind -
UGH! Sorry you're still having those dreams. I know they are brutal. They affect my mood the entire next day, and seem to bother me more than any other type of dream because my binging dreams are so realistic. Usually my dreams will have very blatent elements of crazyness, but my binge dreams...not so. They are exactly how my binges occur in real life. Everything down to the food, and feelings, and anxiety that is attached with my real life binges. Keep strong, sometimes I listen to music or keep my tv on low just to have something in the background when I'm going through a phase of binge dreams. Sometimes it helps my subconcious focus on something other than food. Good luck!
Oh me too. They make my mood crappy for the whole day. Luckily I had none this morning so I am feeling somewhat okay. It really is quite insane just how realistic they are though. I mean I have not had meat in months now and in that one dream I was eating bacon and it tasted so real when in reality I forget how it even tastes usually. And thank you for the advice, I will try that.
Hi Rose-
I can't even count the number of times I have felt exactly the same. But, tomorrow is a new day, and another chance to do better. It seems like you have had a string of binges, and I know how hard it is to stop them. I don't know what works for you, but here are some suggestions to break the cycle:
1. Write down exactly how you are feeling right now. It's the last thing I feel like doing when this happens, but it's easy to forget how awful binges make me feel. When you are tempted to binge, read what you wrote. It might help you remember where you will be if you do it. Also write down how you feel on days you don't binge so you can remember how great you feel!
2. If you are tempted to binge, tell yourself that you can't binge that day, but if you still want to on the following day, you can. I use this trick sometimes, because it's really about getting one binge-free day under your belt and stopping the cycle. When the next day rolls around, you will remember how great you felt on your binge-free day, and you likely won't want to binge. Keep doing that until you have a string of binge-free days.
3. Remove your trigger foods for the time being. In another thread you said that sweets are your downfall. If it's possible, get rid of all of the sweets in your apartment/house. If it's not there to trigger you, you will be less likely to binge. Then, if you have a craving for something sweet, you can always go out and get a single serving of what you want instead of keeping several servings around.
Just take it hour by hour, day by day, and remember that there are people here to support you and understand what you are going through Good luck!
hi, i`ve not posted on this part of the forum before, but i do have terrible problems with binging which led me to gain nearly 7stone in 8 years. in fact i have not eaten "normally" for nearly 20 years - im either binging or dieting. what triggered it off was i lost weight quickly through an illness, and once i was better quickly regained the weight plus an extra 3 stone. i basically starved/exercised myself down to a uk size 8/10 and became obsessed with food. i maintained for a good few years, but then i had lots of worry/stress in my life and the food regained control.
since the new year i have lost nearly 2 stone by cal counting/ healthy eating/small frequent meals. i havent binged once although tempted yes, but food dominates my thoughts and life. my worst time is at night, once everyones in bed. at my worst i could pig out all day - toasted cheese sandwiches, burgers, pizza, crisps and then at night sit down and eat a family size packet of dorritos plus creamy dip or a big bar of chocolate.i felt sick and bloated and disgusted with myself, hid secret stashes of goodies from my o/h. i would stress out if i had no munchies in the house.
sorry for going on, but its good to know there are others who understand what its like. my o/h is useless and doesnt understand - just believes it to be greed. although he too has a problem with food as he has ocd (nightmare to live with at times, so particular and fussy). mad
ps at my worst i have taken food out of the rubbish bin to eat
I had to stop by the grocery store afterwork...we were out of bottled water. I purposely walked thru the bakery section. I don't know why , I know I shouldn't . I bought one of those family size packages of oatmeal raisin cookies. I ate the whole thing before my H got home. I felt so full and disgusted looking at the empty package. I took a double dose of laxative for relief.
I feel "lighter" this morning but I still feel bad for eating all of those things..they weren't even that good! I had been doing so well I don't know why I sabotage myself like that.
I really just want to be a normal person. I want to be able to buy a family package of cookies like that, bring them home, eat just 1 or 2 cookies and then leave the rest in the kitchen in plain view for my H to have some if he wishes, instead of the crazy binging, hiding, and/or disposing routine.
Even now my stomach is still bubbling and gurgling from yesterday's setback. I don't understand what's wrong with me! I want to be normal damnit
Sorry
but I still feel bad for eating all of those things..they weren't even that good! I had been doing so well I don't know why I sabotage myself like that.
