Didn't really eat anything yesterday. Then for a lllaaattteee dinner I had some mozzarella stix and then purged them.
Way to freaking go.
Anyway, I am just going to post on here for some accountability everyday that I purge/binge. Which has been most days this week!

Sigh... I had been so good to myself. I think it had been at least two weeks since my last full-blown binge, and then Tuesday happened. I ate really well throughout the day: oatmeal for breakfast, a sandwich, yogurt, and fruit for lunch, string cheese and crackers for a snack, then I had a lean cuisine for dinner along with some steamed cauliflower. I was happy.

Then something happened around 9. I went to the grocery store, then I went to McDonald's. Sum total of everything I ate AFTER I had eaten a normal day's worth of food:

-half a box of peanut butter Cap'n Crunch with milk
-3/4 box of oreos
-10 piece McD's chicken nuggets with fries
-10 piece McD's chicken nuggets with fries AND a milkshake

Yes indeedy, I ordered and ate two McD's meals, on top of most of a box of cereal and oreos. I had a serious food hangover yesterday. I couldn't even move. Gah. I threw out the rest of the cereal but just finished eating the rest of the oreos.... :/

I binged on a 1/2 meal and appetizzer at a Thai place yesterday and then got uber anxious and purged it.
Today I did eat probably 1900 calories, but, I have not purged!! Go me!!

Whatever. I totally have been binging/purging a couple to -several- times a day the past week. I have only managed a couple of good days. I don't have much else to confess.

I crashed and burned 2 nights this week, and then all I wanted to do was go back and start over. Where's a time machine when you need it??

One night, I ate almost half a box of pecan caramel chocolates. Then the other day, I ate over half a bag of raisins and endless peanuts. After I ate the raisins, my stomach really hurt, but then I just waited for awhile and ate the peanuts anyway.

I didn't even enjoy much of the food! YUCK!

I am aiming for absolutely NO binges this week. I'm also still struggling with eating trail mix at work in place of lunch when I don't have time to make it, so I am going to aim to not do that this week. Go, me!

DEATH to Mr. Bingey!

I second!!!

Me too with the damn peanuts. Wtf? Of all the foods in all the world......

Charlotte,
I even got the ones roasted in the shell...so no salt or oil, and they are harder to get to than the ones that come already shelled. However, that's definately not a cure all - still have to practice control. *lol* and OMG, cashews. They are my favorite nut, but a rare treat.
I don't even keep peanut butter in the house...because I like it too much (the kind with the oil AND sugar), and because I like it best on bread, which I try not to eat too much of.

I always thought I just "had trouble with diets" or was lazy. But I've realized that I binge. In fact my binging always go hand in hand with other reckless behavior (overspending, etc.) so it's a whole impulse control thing I'm dealing with. I'm trying to figure out what kind of diet (Atkins, WW) I should try now that I've realized this is a challenge I'm facing. Stopping the bing eating. As you all know restricting can spur a binge.

For example: Last night I vowed to start Atkins this morning. Today I ate:

Breakfast: Egg McMuffin, 2 hash browns, medium oj
Lunch: Snack Wrap, Diet Coke, Apple and Walnut Salad
Snack: 5 cookies
Drinks: 3 Cokes
Snack: Large bowl of popcorn
Dinner: Gnochhi with cheese sauce, diet coke
Snack: 2 more cookies, milk and a fruit smoothie

And...I am going to have to go to bed because I really want to eat the leftover mexican in the fridge!

Ok - I also had a Heath bar. God knows what else I'm not even remembering cause I shoved it in as fast as I could!

Yesterday, I binged again.

First, at my company potluck, I had three desserts instead of one. I've decided that at each potluck, I can have one dessert of pretty much anything except cake, because cake is ONLY for special occasions that I care to eat something fatty at.

Then at night, I ate a dozen Pot of Gold chocolates. I am determined to get a handle on my consumption of chocolate, and I'm even going to talk to my bf about it, so that he can help me, too.

Today, I had a family potluck, and I think I did much better. I went back for a 5th or 6th mini slice of cheese, but otherwise, I just tried the shrimp dip and had a few crackers. No dessert, since I went so overboard yesterday.

As of today, I'm counting down a fresh week of not bingeing. I'm trying really hard not to focus on either extreme: overeating or undereating.

Now that I have that off of my chest, I'm going to do this!!

You CAN do this Penelope and Lotta!

Well so far in December, out of the past 8 days I did NOT binge or purge for 3 days. Which is a start.......today I am DETERMINED to be "good." I KNOW that I can do this as well.

Charlotte,

Thank you!

I am so determined to be good tomorrow! It's going to be the beginning of a week on-track!

Congratulations on the 3 days

Well ladies, I had a bad weekend. DH wanted to go out to dinner Fri. night. We went to a steak house, which was fine with me because I really don't like steak. I did decent. Had some grilled shrimp with veggies and a salad. But then on Sat. I made a conscience decision to binge. I planned out the grocery list, but I knew I would be getting a black forest cheese cake dessert thing. I even packed a plastic spoon and napkin in my purse because I knew I would eat it in the car. How sad is that. Then that night we decided to get pizza and I ate 1/2 a medium pizza. Today I made another trip to the store and ended up with a chocolate bar. I only ate half, but still.

The biggest frustration is I don't know why or what brought this on. I have not been hungry eating what I've been eating and I like all of the foods. Work and home life are about the same, no major stresses or emotional upheaval. It's like a little thought gets planted in my head and I am powerless to resist it.

The good news is, I appear to be past this. I am ready to start another week worth of healthy eating and going to the gym. And I'm almost positive I can make it through the holiday's without another "episode".

Anne,

I understand where you are coming from with not knowing what brought the binge on. Very rarely are my binges from stress or emotions anymore. It's mostly just choosing to do it, for one reason or another. Boredom. Believing that I deserve it. (Which is really weird, because I sure don't deserve the vocal flogging I give myself afterward! ) It's some weird thing to do with - I deserve to indulge, to treat myself. I just need to remember that I WANT to indulge in even more is the ability to wear a bikini to the beach, new clothes, things that make me feel feminine, like mani's and pedi's.

The awareness that you are past your episode and ready to start another week of healthy eating is awesome! I'm wishing you all the luck in the world - and happy holidays!

Thanks Penelope!

And WTG Anne, that is some good positive future thinking......you CAN do this.


As for me, stupid cheese and crackers got me today. So far 12 days of December and 6 of those have been purge (sometimes accompanied by) binge days.

I am not so much a binger as a purger. I don't HAVE to binge to feel that I HAVE to purge.

I am looking foward to a good day tomorrow though. I made it through 4 days IN A ROW without purging!!
I KNOW that I can do that again and again and again and again....... you get the picture.