I have been on this site for a few days now and this is my first confession! I have been on weight watchers for nearly for week and Xenical for four days and have lost 1 stone 2 pounds. I’ve been doing really well never eating more than 24 of my 30 points a day. But today I just haven’t been able to shake that hunger feeling. After fighting it all day I just gave in to it eating two crisp, ham, cheese and ketchup sandwich on white bread with a can of diet Pepsi. I am now not only s in a very bad mood with myself but also petrified that the Xenical is going to give me the upset tummy from ****. I as yet haven’t had many bad side effects form Xenical other than a little oil leaking and am now concerned that that is no longer going to the case.
I have really been struggling with binging and purging lately. Well, since mid-December. I went almost all of 2006 without purging, mainly binging, only purging every here and there.
Mid-december, I started mostly during the week, only binging during the weekend. I think there were only 5 days in January in which I didn't binge and purge.
February turned into a binge-ish month, semi mixed with purging.
I think I've binged and purged every day so far in March.
I'm at my mom's right now while she's out of town to feed and water her cat, and she said I can basically have whatever I want (well, anything that my stepdad wouldn't notice as he doesn't know I'm spending more than a few minutes here).
Anyhow, I binge/purged between 7 am - 9 am. A full recipe of artichoke dip, almost 1/2 pound of chips, 2 sugar cookies, a small blizzard from dairy queen.
I told myself I wasn't going to do it again today, but I feel like I'm really struggling with that urge. I need to stop binging. Period. My weight either stays the same or fluctuates between the same few pounds because of this. Irritating.
Okay I am new here... But man did I mess up my eating today.
I had a sandwich on 9-grain bread for lunch, go me. However, my daughter picked her birthday dinner and it was...gulp...a fast food place. I ate 2 double cheeseburgers and some fries (not much as my kids ate all of mine thank goodness.) Than I ate an entire cookies and cream pie. (think chocolate cream but cookies and cream flavored instead.) So here I sit, my stomach so full that I think I am going to be sick. It tasted good, but so not worth this.
Wow, I just read through every single one of the 156 posts in this thread. I'm so glad I stumbled across this because it made me realize that I still have a binge problem. When I was younger, I was bulemic/anorexic and started gaining weight when I was "cured". Turns out that I really never got over the binging, but I didn't realize it until now. It's been years, about 6 actually, how did I hide this from myself for so long?
I was doing so well! I didn't binge/purge for about 3 days - I was so proud. My eating is nowhere near normal but I was actually able to eat boiled lunch and veg for dinner (like one or two plates, huge for me) and feel full and feel ok with that. And then at the end of the day I would have a slice of bread or a slice of chicken or a couple of fistfuls of cereal.
Then yesterday they had chocolate cake in the canteen. So I had three huge slices with custard, in the space of 10 minutes. Everyone thinks that I'm 'naturally skinny' so they keep encouraging me to eat and it fuels me on. So I went back to my room and purged. But I also purged the peas and carrots I had for lunch, completely negating my good work as well as my bad.
Sigh. Today is a new day. Today is a new opportunity.
baaaaarrrggggh 2 and a half weeks i went without a binge - 2 and a half weeks takes a lot of will power for me!
don't know what triggered it, perhaps because i'm pre-menstrual and feeling crappy
anyhoo, had about 1400 cals today which is slightly more than normal and then after dinner my hands just couldn't bear to say goodbye to my mouth for the night.. here's what they delivered:
1 meringue
1 plum
1 slice toast w/jam
75g dark chocolate (damn it i was trying to be good with that - no more in this house for at least a month)
another slice bread
lots of rice with roasted veg
large handful of grapes
bit of cheese
sunflower rye vita with humous
i can't remember what else, oh god i feel worse for writing it down.
never mind, i cant wait to get back on track now and tomorrow is a new day. despite what i just did i HAVE come a long way. hope all of you had a better day than i did.
God, I suck. I was all... "no more binging". Yes. Right.
At lunch I had vegetables, then binged on three servings of lasagne. Purged.
I had a normal dinner out, and purged half of that.
Then the real binge began. Estimate... 10 cookies, 15 mini-cakes, a few handfuls of caramel popcorn, three slices of chocolate cake, a few handfuls of Haribo. I had to stick around because all my friends and boyfrien where there, but I purged some of it later.
I'm new here. I've been reading everyone's confessions and they've kept me coming back, just to reassure me that i'm not the only person out there with a problem. My last binge was a week ago and i was really feeling much stonger about resisting the urge to stuff my face with food. But tonight didn't go so well. I had a pie and half a loaf of focaccia bread. Now i know this doesn't sound like a bad binge, but i had tons of other food just staring at me waiting for me to get my hands on it. But halfway through the focaccia i was starting tp feel really sick. If i was at home i would have kept going, but becuase i'm in a dorm, i don't want anyone else knowing about my purging habits, so i had to stop. I can still smell all of it and i keep wanting to eat it, but i guess that'll be it for the night. Thank goodness for small miracles. This could have been a bad one...
yesterday was bad...slept in-which i never do. managed to get out of the house, went and had lazy sunday afternoon beer with a friend, had dinner late-bad plan, gulped it down SO fast, went home-stopped on the way to buy junk. bought a chocolate bar-wanted to buy doritos, but was too embarrased so didn't. came home, had some tortialla chips, the choco bar and a cup of tea.
i know it's not a huge binge-but i always get this crazy urge to binge when i have been drinking. and today i am home sick with a cold that i have been fighting for the last 3 months that i just can't seem to kick. hmmm...wonder if the binging and drinking is making it impossible for me to get better?
grrr....
