KJK, you did great! Glad you decided to work out.

Jacque, good for you for working out. So you sound like an emotional eater just like me. Well let it go and move on.

NBK, have fun with your bf!

Hi people, just trying to catch up here. Had that interview. Didn't go to well. The guy wasn't used to interviews and went on and on and I didn't want to interrupt and get him talking about things I could use so it may be hard making an article out of this. Ah, it usually is with racing officials. They've very reluctant to say anything that expresses an opinion as they're afraid it could be used against them or something. Racing is government here so it's highly regulated. On top of that there's always other people sitting in on it so I get nervous and don't ask the right questions or phase out and can't remember what he was saying. It'll be so hard going through this tape and trying to figure out what to use. But, I will try hard NOT to use this to stuff my face, which I often do, sitting here eating candy and ****. . . Oh well, not eating very well today but the day isn't over yet so I will salvage it. Think though that I'll take off from the gym today. Have too much work to do.

grasshopper -- how are you feeling now? I hope you're doing better. Wow, I guess I'm lucky. I'm never in pain, not that I can remember, nothing like what you're experiencing. Now I see why you're trying to detox and all that. If it'll help you, you must be desperate to stop this pain.

NBK -- so, what'd you have for lunch? OH, I get it. . . . . . .No, actually when I first read it I was wondering what you were doing eating lunch after how many weeks apart and then next time I saw the quote marks and was glad to realize you were not all that weird! And you shouldn't begrudge him surfing till 9. After all, this is where the bod comes from, right?

I went and looked up this Extreme Makeover show that everyone is talking about and found that episode about the mom and her two kids and them having their house done. Saw the before and after pictures. There is a similar show here but without the emotional impact. There is one where the people are paying everything to have the house remodeled. There is another where people get cosmetic makeovers that is more moving. I sometimes cry at that too but not too much because they try to drag it out a bit too much and you know that at every chance they can get they will break for a commercial right at an interesting point. It makes me angry and sometimes I turn it off. Anyhow, those shows are very moving. I sure would like to hear how they're doing a few months/years down the road.

stormy -- I just stepped out to go to the store and met this guy I see a lot in the neighborhood, young guy in a wheelchair. He only really has use of one arm. Was hit by a truck while he was on his motorbike when he was 18. Now he's about 30. I've been out drinking with him. Real nice guy. The other day I came out of the convenience store and he was in the street talking to himself pissed off and I asked him what was wrong. He said the driver in the car that had just passed was talking on his cell phone, which is now illegal here. He said it makes him so mad because that's how the driver hit him. I said I understood but he'd better watch it, getting mad at the cars and then not seeing the other ones coming up behind him. Here, there are no sidewalks, except on some main roads, so people are out in the streets walking or, as in his case, pushing their wheelchairs and sometimes it's very hard to see. Anyhow, he made me think of the patient of yours again. Yes, if he was giving the horses sugar then I can only hope that they would have been there for him when he died. They surely would have helped him in his last moments. As for my soulmate, stormy, I wish I shared your faith. I think I gave up on that long ago. It's hard to keep thinking what you want when you've never found it, or everyone time you think you've found it it turns out to have been a mistake. Sigh.

kji -- great save on the exercise there, I mean a save for the day and the TV time. Good for you for eating right too. I'm so glad people actually do exercise and eat right on this thread or are trying to and come here with their successes as well as their failures, but more often than not, not their failures, but just a cry for help before the failure. So often just a "come on, you can do it!" can save the day. Here, there is still that feeling of focusing on our goals. So many threads lose that and it just becomes an everything-but kind of thread. Come on, kjk, get that butt up tomorrow and walk!!

jacque -- ooo. you're having a bad day, aren't you? Well, partly bad. Four rice krispy bars? What does that add up to? Did you stop there? I hope so. But the good part, and see, YOU made that happen! is the gym. Congratulations for joining AND for working out. What kind of place is it? A chain or a private place?

Tell me what "tivo" is? Is this some recording thing? I found pictures of this ty guy to see who you were talking about. It's hard to tell from the photos alone but he has a real kind face and is probably really sweet. No wonder your husband is telling you gyms are useless. Here you are saying some guy on TV is your boyfriend. What are you going to do when you start sweating side by side with some hunk at the gym who comes over and starts correcting your form!! Maybe your hubby knows something we don't?!!?!? . . .

Good morning all. It's cold outside! Very cold. My poor car didn't wnat to go, but I'm sure it will feel better when it's warm

I'm feeling somewhat better today. I took something last, had crazy dreams and slept pretty well. I have to be up and moving very early everyday this week. My one day to sleep in, the office scheduled a meeting. Those crazy things never cover anything important but we have to have them anyway...so I will go to the office, go back home..then 3 hours later go back for all my clients.

Red - Tevo (I can't give a detailed answer as I have no details ) is a device that lets you record tV programs. You program it to record the show, the whole series, or only new airings...it's pretty neat! I have it and love it. I never had to watch commercials anymore

okay, I'd better head out the door. I am planning on hitting the gym today. Eating yesterday was very good. Maybe too light but not cheating all over either. Talk to everyone soon. lg

Good morning,
Well I just got through a 55 min workout, but according to the evil scale I am up two pounds. Last night we watched "The Forgotten" and I ate two cookies. These were two from the ones over the weekend. I felt guilty but I am over it now. That is exactly why I do not keep it in the house. My self-control is sometimes poor.

Red, sometimes I wish that cellphones were outlawed for drivers here. It drives me crazy! Sorry your interview did not go well. By the way, don't give up on love yet.

GH, I hope that you make it to the gym today. Try not to wear yourself out, though.

Okay, I need to go and get ready for work. I hope everyone has a great day.

Hey everyone!
I am going to go ahead and apologize for the length of this post because I know it is going to be really long! Sorry- I think I am waiting too long and when I finally get on you guys have cranked out about a million posts. I hate to be left out so I go back and read so I can respond.

Anyway- school yesterday was horrible and I almost came home and stuffed my face because of stress. Luckily I got distracted by the thousands of things I have to do everyday and forgot to eat more than a sandwich.

stormy-how is school going for you? Didn't you say something a long time ago about a project? When do you have to travel and go to class next?
The story about your patient made me tear up and then I was fine until I got to Red's comments about the horses and that made me cry. So- I am sitting here crying at my computer when a friend drops by and I had to go to the door. Then I couldn't explain to her why I was crying because I began to hiccup and cry and then laugh at myself. Man- I am a mess.
I feel so bad for that guy- it must have been hard to feel like he had no control. I am such a control freak that people amaze me at the ways that they adapt and move on. Anyway- thanks for sharing that- it puts my life in perspective.
I was laughing when I read about your pro and con list because I am always doing that when I have to make a tough decision. Sometimes it helps to see all the reasons for and against all written out in black and white.

Jacque- Great job on eating and getting a gym!
Just make sure you go- I pay money every month to the YMCA and never go so don't be like me!
Sorry about your mishap with the police. I hate being pulled over ( as I am sure you all do) but I always cry and get out of tickets. I know- it is a step back for women's lib but screw it! At least I don't get a huge ticket and it always works in my town. The men here are "good old boys" so they think women are weaklings and need to be protected.
You have a TIVO too?? Love my TIVO!!

red- Let me answer your question about TIVO first. TIVO is a digital recorder with a hard drive that you can program to tape shows. The cool thing about it is you can set up season passes and it tapes all the showings of that particular TV show. TIVO also allows you to pause it and fast forward through commercials. I love my TIVO. I don't watch TV during the week so I program TIVO to tape the things I just don't want to miss. Also- TIVO makes suggestions according to your tastes and periodically tapes shows on its own that it thinks you might like.

As for changing jobs-don't judge an office on how it looks when you come into it to interview or meet a new potential boss. Where I work now seemed stuffy and rigid when I came in and once I started working there I found out that it was opposite of that and everyone is laid back and easygoing.
I understand what you mean about less responsibility and comfort in where you work- I wouldn't want to work in a high stress job either. If that is how you think it will be you may want to keep looking. Keep in mind you spend a lot of your day working so you need somewhere you aren't going to dread going to in the morning.

You are very perceptive to catch on to the fact I am not doing well with eating or exercise. Thought I would slide by! Anyway- i am horrible when I am under stress so this past week has been awful. I am going to try to get back on track!
I have a question from a past post- other people ride your horse?? Do they take her out for exercise? or are you sharing her with others? I don't understand; I can see where that would be really stressful. Don't downplay being the one with the goodies- animals know that if you care enough to give goodies that you are wonderful in their book.

NBK-Thanks for the kick in the butt! It was much needed and I promise I am going to try to get back with it!
You are without your bf a lot- I am jealous. Can I ship mine up to you after he returns from getting an attitude adjustment on food portions with red? I know it must be hard- at least you have good blocks of time with him instead of time here and there that you can't do anything major in. Have fun!
You guys are really into Extreme Makeover. I can't watch it- it makes me cry and I get all depressed. Ty is cute though.

Little Grasshopper- How are u today? I wanted to tell you about some heating pads that you can buy at the store that are just for one day. They are made for TOM (you probably already know this but..) They are called ThermaCare and you can find them where they keep Bengay and such..
they help me a lot and I have awful cramps.

kjk- I know what you mean about getting up in the morning but you are my inspiration to get up and walk so you have to keep with it.
Good job going after you got up though! You are so kicking my butt!
I didn't know you watch Law and Order SVU- love that program. I Tivoed it last night and I can't wait to watch it since it was new. Was it a good one?

Okay - I think that catches me up somewhat. I am going to try to hop on more often so I can comment in the flow of conversation.

Anyway- today I am off work and school. I have to apply for graduation and I just got back from getting a haircut so I am getting a lot done on my "to do" list.
Hope you are all having a great day! Today is "what in the heck have you been eating?" day so let us know how you are doing. Is anyone here recording what they eat every day? Do any of you keep a food and emotion diary? Just curious how you keep up with your calories or amounts.

Question of the day: This may be a cruel one but I am curious-
If you could make any one food calorie free, fat free, and instead full of vitamins and things good for your body- which food would you choose? why?

Okay I am outta here for now- back later

Hi guys. Man have I had an adventure. We had an unexpected snow storm today. You'd think as rarely as we get snow they'd know it was coming for days! But not this storm.....They were calling for the 40's and light rain...it's 21 and that's our high for today! I left work as it was starting and before I could get to the bridge and the damn on my lake the roads were so bad that people couldn't get up the hill (the bridge is between two hills). People were stacked on both sides and sliding all over the place. I ended up turning around and calling BF to come get me - but then I had to walk 3 miles in 19 degree cold and pouring snow to get to the furtherst place he could reach!! I didn't make it to the gym but I did get a workout. Luckily I left one of my coats at the office yesterday so I had two today..i needed both!! It's freaking COLD out there when the wind blows!!!!!

I'm feeling much better. Head is still wacky but otherwise I feel good. I was looking forward to working out today. I'll have to do some at home.

I will catch up on reading to night - see you guys soon!

CG, I go back to school Thursday. I flight out (since my car is still in the shop!!!) at 7:15 PM. So I'll be MIA for a while. I was able to complete everything that I have due this weekend. Since I finished work early secondary to two cancellations I have a little me time. So I am checking my email,etc. and then I have to hit the books. You will make it this semester. You are so lucky that it is your last.

GH, enjoy your cold day off. I dread going back to school b/c of the cold. One of my friends up there called and told me that there is supposed to be a snow/ice storm this weekend, so I am not looking foward to it. I hate the cold. This morning I work up and it was sleeting and Saturday night and Sunday there is supposed to be snow so I am hoping that I will not be delayed in getting back. Well at least you got a nice walk in. By the way, you probably burnt more calories b/c of the cold!

Ladies, I really want to apologise for my lack of participation lately!! I've been so crazy busy with work (it's inventory month) but after this week I should be back to normal participation (meaning you'll get sick of me again!) I promise!

Good morning, people. This day is not getting off to a good start. I turned on the TV just in time to catch the horoscope that said my sign was the worst for today. I know it's stupid but I turned it on and there it was and it's pissing me off because I have not seen a "good" horoscope in like two weeks. Then, I decide to just hop on the scale because I figured I'd have had to have lost and it looks like it's up higher than ever. ?!?! I tell you, I don't think I can take any more of this constant disappointment, constant frustration. I am so sick and tired of it. People say wait, and wait, and it will get better but it's NOT getting better. So, what to do?!?!I can't do anymore than I'm already doing. I mean, I am not near my goal weight or anything and even my goal weight would be heavy. What is wrong with my body? Why does it hold on to the fat like this? It's really unbelievable. Screw it. That's the way I feel. Maybe I should just give up, stop letting this whole weight thing make me so angry. I'm certainly not enjoying this and I really, really am trying. Maybe I do have to just keep at it. They say it's not rocket science, but it sure ain't simple arithmetic!!

Red - two words. Water weight. When you start exercising after a break or change your routine or your diet you body gets scared and starts hoarding water.

Will catch up later ladies.. work is mad today!
Tiff

Yeah, NBK, you may be right. But I was running to the bathroom for two days straight, that's why I thought I was sure to see a drop. I mean, that, and all the other things I've been doing right. However, I did drink a lot of mugi cha (barley tea, no caffeine, not a diuretic) last night and some Italian sparkling water all before going to bed and I didn't get up all night. I did work my legs the day before last and though they're not hurting (which is odd because I thought I went heavier than usual) maybe that has something to do with it. It's just I am so stuck. My weight just does not fluctuate, downward that is, it's always stuck. I mean, I am still much higher than when I started this year off. Oh well, I'm working all the time but it's not physical work. As far as my body is concerned I've done nothing. But, I hear everyone else losing and I can't understand how it can be so hard for me. I mean, if this doesn't do it, how can I ever be thin and work and do everything else I need to do just to pay the bills? It's like I'm condemned to this position in life.

OK, well, I'm going to just move on. I am still so utterly pissed off. I shouldn't get on the scale at all probably. But, I need some reward. The weight loss, if there is any, is too small to register with clothes. Maybe I have to literally knock myself out with exercise in order to lose. I mean, really, I walk so much in a day just going to work and things. I probably only need about 1,000 calories a day to exist. That's the problem I guess. I'm short and have this screwed up body so I can't eat at all probably. Anyhow, I'm healthy and I am very strong so I guess I should learn to accept it. The problem is, no one accepts it. Everyone around me, except the bodybuilders, act like for a woman to be strong is a bad thing, a freakish thing. I think the fact that these guys are so weak is a freakish thing and the fact that they think women are is freakish. Then again, I'm up against Asian women, who are built like sparrows. It's like a French bull looking at a Mexican hairless and feeling like a freak.

Red, i haven't moved down all year.. i've been stuck in my 73.9-75.8 kg rut too! don't sweat it! just relax.. i find as soon as i stop stressing about my weight things actually start to happen.. now if only i could do that right now.

As for living in asia.. man that would screw with my head! i have enough problems feeling like a giant sometimes here.. last night there was a women who would be a us size 0 or less in the hips infront of me in pump class. i swear her waist is the same as my thighs if not smaller! ugh.. but yuo know what, she doesn't really look like a woman. she had tiny hips and broad shoulders.. and she was shorter than you..so don't stress. I think being strong rocks! just think of all those pathetic weedy men you can snap in two with your bare hands! he he...

NBK, really? you haven't lost either this year. Ok, that makes me feel better. And thanks for understanding what I go through here in the land of the reeds and sparrows. Yes, to me these women don't look like women. They look like children, worse, because they're not cute like children. I don't see what the foreign guys see in them but they love them, at least the ones who stay here. And yet these guys are out picking up girls all the time, so it's probably something else they're looking for, in other words, a certain ease . . .

You know, actually I love strong. I think it's cool. It's just that I would like to be in an environment where it's not so odd. Then again, what the heck, I probably will never be that. When i'm in the States, people say I'm so short and small and I sure don't feel small, though I do feel short. I guess you just have to know what you are and accept it and be happy with it. And you're right about the pathetic weedy men. I am sick of them. I am not attracted to them in the least, in fact they make me ill to look at their pathetic scrawny, soft bodies. The only guys I like are the builders in the gym. It's just, I'm not so rude as to say it to them, like the guys do about the women. Oh bother!

Ok, really got to move on this time. I started that last post out determined to get off the pity express and look at your posts and then I didn't. !!

grasshopper -- I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. That's really not fair that you have to attend a meeting on your sleep-in day. Do you get paid to go in? Can't you get out of it, say you're feeling ill but are going to try to make it in later? I would.

Thanks for the Tivo explanation, you and some others. I looked it up on the Net, see it's something that started up 5 years ago. So, you mean you don't need videotapes? How cool! I need something like that. The tapes are a pain. I go to bed so early so all the interesting (well, that is a relative word!) are on later, or I'm thinking maaaaaybe they're on later because there sure is nothing interesting on before 9 p.m.! Japanese TV sucks. Late at night you tend to just get some sort of sick semi-porn all putting down women. Have a good workout today, grass, if you get there. Congrats for getting through yesterday with just light eating!

stormy -- sounds like you and I are kind of going through the same thing. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that the scale starts dropping. I was thinking about that interview yesterday. The reason it didn't go well is because this one guy writes up questions he wants me to ask and they're crap questions and I feel I have to ask them and then the interview gets out of hand. Oh well, I'll salvage something out of it and next time this other guy insists on sitting in on it I'll just ignore him and his stupid questions. Those cookies you ate, are they giant or something. I mean, don't sweat a couple cookies. on the workout!

Crime girl -- Please stop apologizing for long posts. I for one love long posts. You shouldn't apologize. And please keep writing really long ones. I love it! If someone doesn't want to read it she can just glance through it anyhow. You did great not stuffing your face after a stressful day! Kudos to you!

Sorry my comment got your crying. I even looked back to see what it possibly could have been and couldn't figure it. I don't know. People often say my writing makes them cry. I'm starting to think it must be really bad!

Thanks too for the Tivo explanation. Don't know if I'd like it making suggestions for me. But, I guess, if you can erase it quickly or it doesn't mess up another recording it could be great. I still don't understand just where it is doing the recording. Is it a tape or totally digital, like limitless? I see they're very expensive too!

The work situation is driving me nuts. I dream about it. I'm all confused as to what to do. I don't have a good feeling about the new place but don't know how I can find out more without working there. I may do just that, go in for once a week at first while saying I can't quit the other yet. They said I could. Then maybe I can get a better reading on it. Japanese companies are usually no fun at all. The paper is Japanese too but the crowd I work with are mostly foreigners. I don't think I'm going to find anything better than this though, not with the hours I want and so, so maybe I should just buckle down and do it, in and out and screw feeling happy or good about it. Just do it. Try to work toward something bigger. If I write a couple of books and start getting royalties it sure would help me break away from this hourly wage **** that is so limited. At one point I worked with a jockey over here and my pay was a percentage of his earnings. So, if he won a race my pay would leap. There was always the possibility of hitting paydirt and that was fun. Of course, it turned out in the end to just get me by okay but it was fun, addictive anyhow, very rollercoaster-like, just like any gambling I guess.

I can certainly understand you slacking on the weight loss efforts. You can't do everything. As long as you didn't pig out too much and didn't gain. Maintain when the pressure's on. That should be our motto.

Thanks for saying I'm more to my horse than a carrot. I would like to think so but . . . what they heck, she could say the same about me. As for the situation at the riding club, it sucks there too. So much in my life, in fact, most of it, is very far from what I want. But, I see it as making the best of the situation, a tradeoff, a compromise. Yes, other people get to ride my horse even though I'm paying for everything. These are the workers at the stable and the owner puts them on. I don't like it because I don't agree with the way he handles my horses but it is his place and if I don't like it I have no say whatsoever. The only say I have is to leave and I don't know a better place for now. when I do I will go. Also, my teacher (his wife) seems better. I like the way she rides and I am trying to learn from her, which means I will become like her and THEN I can go off on my own with my horse. I cannot handle my horse on my own now because my skills are not good enough. So much compromise here. In any case, the care I think is good and the girls riding my horse are not really bad riders. They just are slaves to the owner and do everything he tells them to, which the horse rebels at because there is no affection in it. I think maybe she does like me. I hope I am enough for her to get through the other days without going anymore sour than she already is.

As for your question, maybe I would say ice cream or nuts, particularly cashews and peanuts, my favorites.

Ok, I've got to run. Anyone I missed, I'll catch up later. Ciao for now!