After my 7K in an hour run (it doesn't sound like much when curly says she does 6 miles (10K) in 90 mins, but it was for me!) I felt kind of drained all day. We were so busy too. I was good on food all day, then came home and had a lot more than I've been having, but I am not going to see it as a slide into oblivion!
It's just a day and it was a heck of one really. And I'm really, really thinking about how easily I start to pooh-pooh my accomplishments.I mean, I liked the way my body is starting to change and I liked the way my face looks thinner....so why, do I not feel great? Lack of support? Lack of encouragement? When I read the posts here and see all your wonderful comments, ...JCT, tia
...I certainly can't say that, can I? I am thinking it is the perfectionist streak, the never feeling good enough, and perhaps it's also just the sad fact that I am in an environment where people just don't care. I know I say it over and over but I find it so hard to believe. It's like, nothing! I never, ever hear a nice word from my coworkers, not unless they're drunk. Yet, I say nice things often. I don't know. It sucks. And I admit I am throwing a small tantrum right now.... Do I need applause? Do I need medals, awards? I don't know. Maybe I do....then again, I think not, I think I just want a little recognition, expressed recognition. No, maybe I just want acknowledgement that I exist.
I feel like going away for a long time just so somebody acts like they noticed I was gone. I am even tempted to throw myself at the mercy of the horse-trainers and their eagle eyes. They will be sure to comment on my present weight, for better or worse! Oh, ****, I just am stuck with clueless guys! What a pain. Carla, you are totally right, there is no thought passing between their ears.... sigh. You know, instead, I think I'm going to start writing down the compliments I DO get, on work or riding or whatever, on my ability to speak English!, to see if it's not perhaps me poo-pooing things. And, as for the weight loss, I guess I can't expect to have comments when I hide under billowing sweatshirts and long shirts....oh well. The unveiling will have to wait though....for another good 5 kgs (about 12 lbs). Until then, I ain't showing nuthin'. Heck, maybe they already think I'm thin under all my clothes....you reckon?....nah!
Ah, heck, I don't feel so hot. I'm going to go to bed after doing my journal and catch up with you all in the morn. Hope I'll see some more posts.....My challenges, btw, are cool for today.
Sleep, healing sleep....the wind is banging the door and there is a cold front moving in from China..ugh...just when we had some warm days....oh well, carry on....one day at a time....
Take care, all your beautiful women! 


Well, time to see how determined I really am.


