Inform children that they can't make a decision on their own. They never do anything right. Tell them you do and do and do for them and what thanks do you get? Get sick frequently and require that they nurse you to health. Make sure to save icky things like cutting your toenails for them. Remind them how much Mommy counts on them for little things like that. Inform them that you and their father will probably head straight for divorce court if they move out of the house. Keep changing your will every time one of them does something "thoughtless". Say over and over again that they'll probably never amount to anything and will have to live at home and be supported for the rest of their lives.

That should work.
Shoulder
hurt. Thank goodness for ibuprofen.
DH is going to friends' camp and cut down trees today. Not me. I'm staying home and coddling my shoulder.
Kiwi
Alternate life #2: Struck out for the Alaskan wilderness in late 20s, built homestead, raised chickens and sheep. Had 6 children, grow own food, spin wool, train herding and sled dogs, bench press cows for fun.