[flower123]

Today started out with deep grief. Not only the loss of mother. But also being completely forgotten or overlooked by family on the birthday. But then a senior volunteer came to help me clear out things from my condo. It helped a lot. That's all it takes is kindness. There still are kind people. I put on my old summer pants and they still fit. I am thinking I did not gain as much as I thought. Even though the size 3 pants I bought 2 months ago really would not fit right now. I am still well within maintenence weight range.

Food today
coffee 200
bamba 480
peaches 200
salad 260
stir fry with no oil 300
total 1440

[flower123]

So far so good today. But its early for me. so more damage can be done.
So far:
coffee 200
vegan "cheese" puffs 480
Peaches 200
tuna, onion, low calorie mayo. on cucumber slices 300

Tried on a skirt today I had not worn for months. The waist was def tighter than I like. I have gained weight
around my waist. And it is not cortisol/stress hormone gain. I take a supplement for overproduction of cortisol.
I called a place to buy cocoa powder. but they no longer sell the kind I like most.

[flower123]

Originally Posted by ChickieBoom

Happy Birthday Flower!!
I can’t imagine how hard it is to be without your mother on your birthday but I’m glad you have people in your life that love you and remembered your special day. Your food sounds delicious by the way. Hope today is good to you.

Thank you! I have no idea how I missed your post yesterday. But I did see it today. Hope you had a good day today <3

[Old Biddy]

Happy Birthday, flower123!

[flower123]

Originally Posted by Old Biddy

Happy Birthday, flower123!

Thanks. That's really kind of you <3

[flower123]

Today was pretty easy. Still would like lower calories. But it was not as bad as yesterday. I had
Coffee 200
bamba 480
Halo Gold top chocolate chip cookie dough low cal. ice cream 360
Stir "fry" onion, carrot, cabbage, chicken, ginger, coconut amino, soy sauce,fresh garlic and org. better than bouillon. 320
total for day 1360

3 1/2 months ago bought a special kind of yogurt powder that is supposed to be highly medicinal. Bravo Yogurt powder. Then I got an instant pot to make the yogurt. All of it cost 200 dollars. Big chunk of money. 1/4 of what I get to live on for the money. Big mistake. I could not figure out the complex instructions.

After mom got very sick and died I stopped trying to deal with it. Then I tried again this week. The woman who sold it to me told me she would talk me through it. I trusted her and today spent yet another 8 dollars on milk that had to be less than 6 days old. Turns out her idea of talking me through it is texting, "what's next". Seriously? I feel like I should have known better. Brought up age old learning disabilities and how stupid I felt. Costly mistake Cannot return the instant pot because I got it through Amazon 3 1/2 months ago. Certainly cannot return the yogurt powder I bought from her. This protocol promised to be excellent. But for me it was just another reminder of how I do not process info like other folks. Why I failed in school. Rant over.

[flower123]

Today the calories were okay until I had 600 calories worth of chicken sausage. That put me way over the top.

Coffee 200
vegan robs puffs 480
peaches 200
chicken sausage 600
salad 250
total 1730.
I did not count the Costco samples. They have no calories.

Was a rough few days. Was so sick with inflammation and a virus on Thursday that I slept most of the day and night. Am recovering thanks to supplements I take. Today was a bit of a challenge with the grief. But it was sporadic. Just had to put make-up on twice before leaving the house, lol. Most days are okay though.

[flower123]

Sunday was a bit of an odd eating day. I decided I wanted to get some chicken wing halves. 6 of them. The last time I did that they had been sitting a long time on the hot food bar and were concentrated and delicious. Most of the fat had dripped off. They were quite small. Still I knew they were way off plan.

Last night I went 15 minutes before the hot food bar closed. He had already removed the food. But he said he could package 6 wing halves for me. I was so looking forward to the 4 hour old wings that had most of the fat heated off. I saw the guy weigh those wings to price them and was gobsmacked. six halves weighed one pound. I did not have the courage to tell him i changed my mind. I got home and they were very big. AND they tasted like they had just come out of a fryer. very fatty. BUT I ate them anyway. They were delicious. Teriyaki sauce covered them

Today I tried to be good. It did not work out exactly as I had planned.
Coffee 200
Bamba 480
Rolini 130
Peaches 200
Smoked turkey breast 210
salad 280
samples 100
total for day . 1600

[flower123]

Yesterday was pretty good for food. Today not so much

wednesday
coffee 200
smoked fish 400
peaches 200
rolini 120
salad 300
total 1220

thursday
Coffee 200
bamba 480
ice cream 360
peaches 200
rolini 120
salad 300
total 1660

planned Friday
coffee 200
teriyaki turkey 240
peaches 200
misc. 200
salad 200
total 1240

[flower123]

Friday
Coffee 200
Turkey jerky 240
Peaches 200
Ice cream 320
Salad 280
hot chocolate 60
Total for day 1300 yay

Saturday I will be buying things to make blonde brownies with chocolate chips and peanutbutter topping. This is a food mistake waiting to happen. I chose dessert for a barbecue my condo complex is having. I have been throwing out and giving away things in my condo. I by mistake threw out my personal recipe book that I have been writing recipes in for 35 years. Ykes! I might make oatmeal cookies though. With raisins and sesame oil added in. The only problem with that is I would have to make 25 cookies. I guess I could. Maybe thats what I will make. Of course I do not have my oatmeal raisin cookie recipe. But I did find one online that seemed okay. It feels healthier than the blonde brownies. Either way it will be fattening. I sure do wish someone else was not bringing the watermelon for their dessert

[flower123]

Messed up a lot tonight. But I knew I would. I tried to buy strawberries for tomorrows condo complex barbecue. But there are people with young kids. I think they would not want their kids eating conventional strawberries. Someone else is bringing watermelon. I had already said I would probably bring blonde brownies with double chips and peanut butter. So That's what I made. I ate a few brownies. And too much of the peanut butter topping which is 100 calories per Tablespoon. The good news is I cannot eat more. I only made half a recipe. If I ate more there would not be enough for the condo people tomorrow.
Coffee 200
Turkey jerky 240
Peaches 200
way too much brownies
Salad 300
Total, I do not want to know

[flower123]

Tonight I was reminded of the alkalizing and detoxing properties of watermelon. While it should really be organic and my diet should be more clean to utilize the properties, I will eat it every day instead of the puffs, rolini, other bad for me stuff and halo ice cream. I hope I can get some good healing results using this. I decided to do this many hours after eating the bad for me stuff. Although Bamba is not really nasty. It is non GMO. and has very few ingredients

Coffee 200
rolini 120
boneless wings 250
Bamba 480
watermelon 250
Salad 300
total for day 1600 Not a good food day.

I told someone i would go to the grocery store for her as often as she needs. She is ill. I did not realize she was going to be asking me to go often to a health food store in another town. This is WAY outside of my comfort zone. But it was too late for me to retract the offer.
On the bright side, it will inspire me to pray for her health and strength to quickly return. lol. Honestly, I do not see this as a short term situation, thus commitment. Hopefully she will have mercy and send me to the health food store in the same town in which we live. The one I go to.

[flower123]

been eating my feelings.
Today, Saturday I will do better.
planned:
coffee 200
popchips 360
Turkey 240
peaches 200
salad 300
total 1300

[Diana3271]

Hi Flower, I just saw your thread here. I don't have a lot of time to read the forum or news posts. I seem to only be able to focus on the check in that I'm in. I have missed your posts and have thought about you often. I just lifted you up in prayer.

[flower123]

Originally Posted by Diana3271

Hi Flower, I just saw your thread here. I don't have a lot of time to read the forum or news posts. I seem to only be able to focus on the check in that I'm in. I have missed your posts and have thought about you often. I just lifted you up in prayer.

Thanks Diana. Yes, you have everything you can do to keep up with your community thread. I am grateful for the prayer. I would go back to the daily accountability but I do not have the fortitude to keep up with personals. Otherwise I would gratefully be there. Sending blessings and angels <3