Emily says thank you all for the smilies and kind words The cake was a hit although I put too much baking soda in it, which only I noticed, that meant that I didn't have more than one bite Would you believe it?! I made up for the calories by having a large plate of broccoli, rice, fried chicken and wontons, yep, Chinese food for dinner. No exercise, although it was a passing thought this afternoon Emily just started kindergarten half days this past Wednesday. She always says it was great when I ask her how it is. No details, just great and then she tells me to stop talking. You should see the great big smile her teacher gets in the morning when she goes into the class, without a backwards glance. Sigh.

Mel-Woah! Your poor body. Rotten aspartame. Have you tried Stevia powder to sweeten things? It is a herb you can find in health food stores. A little tad will do you with this stuff, it is like 10 times sweeter than sugar. Safe for diabetics. I make my icedtea with it, tastes as yummy as that Crystal lite stuff. I'm sorry your rosacea is acting up. ((((Hugs))))

Teel-I hope Monday gives you a large smile on your face. I like ABBA music, didn't know that the production of that show was teary, no wonder people kept going on about it when I saw it advertised, nothing like a good weepy story with songs you know the words to. I wish I had gone now. I thought it was just impersonators, that sort of silliness.

Linus-Wonderful lingerie... do you have the music to go with that? What is the plan? Seduction must be well thought out you know, the guy is going to be in trouble if that outfit makes you feel as wicked as it looks I'm sure your housing headache will get sorted out... have you thought of writing a few letters to the appropriate corners? Squeaky wheel technique? I'm sorry you have this worry, stay optimistic.

Happy-Well done on getting the exercise routine going, I will get there someday. Yummy sounding Jaffa thingies, are they cakes or cookies? I will live vicariously through your crumbs as I have never seen them here in Canada The job will come, you have done all the right things, though if you haven't heard anything definite in the next week, I think a follow up phone call would be in order. It isn't fair that they keep you hanging on for too long.

Shad-Don't you just hate when the weeds take advantage of your absence and start running riot! I had a sudden dandelion onslaught out front here, don't ask me where they were hiding? Two days of rain and they are the lushest, greenery in the border Going to have to start calling you Dorothy, "there is no place like home, there is no place like home"

Rose-Hugs for your low energy. I'm not a very dedicated dieter or exerciser, but I keep trying. I deserve to be healthy and fit, I keep telling myself that the time I take on my self care is benefiting everyone. I feel more energized after I exercise, I don't know why I can't get a routine sorted, but I have hope it will come. We will do it. Hang in there!

"There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you
want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the
second."
*Logan Pearsall Smith
(1865-1946, British essayist)

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
********
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your ticket, not your stub."
********
Women are clever
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes -- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!

Then the frog inquired about her third wish and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Red faces first thing in the morning???? I am sure Nae will be forgiving!! She has no mean bones in her body I don't think!

Today is rain and wiond with an unusual fury. Living as high as I do it's a sight to behold. Lightning and rattling screens woke me. thunder shook the hi-rise! :scare:

It seems to be calming down and the TV says sunny Sunday! YAY!
A day for cleaning my wheelchairs and watching some cartoon DVD's so I will get a good start with my SBD breakfast already eaten, showered and dressed!

Happy Saturday and sweet dreams Shad who is ensconced in her lovely warmer abode tonite!!!
Hope you all have a great day!

When I followed my e-mail prompt it stopped at Shad's and I didn't see a new page. I loved the jokes! The 3 wishes was a scream!!! ROFLMAO OMG How funny!!! Glad you know that taking care of YOU is important. Your motivation for others is incredible and I still think you should be a trainer!
Jen went to school the same way. Happy and big smiles. Made me sad to see her go. That's alright, I cried enough that day for the both of us in the car! LOL They grow up all too fast. Glad Emily(hope I can remember that) had a good time! Her big day!!!

hi all a new relaxed me was out with freinds and dh last night out for a meal and then to our local its the type of place that if they dont like your face they rearrange it!!!! but to me its where all the family and freinds are must get out more often everybody noticed id lost weight and all where very complamentary so that kinda made my night the freind who had got the new house was a wee bit hesitant and when prompted said she felt guilty cause shed got one and i hadnt so i told her as long as shes in the cleaning crew when i get mine shes forgiven made her relax but truthfully i couldnt hold anybody elses good luck against them im just not capable conner got a wee bit stroppy this morning had a shower and he asked if i was going out AGAIN my god ive gone out twice this year and apparently thats a crime by the way the undies worked but then again weve never had a problem in that department but he spent the whole night trying to get me to go home and when his mate asked him why he replied that"if you knew whats under those clothes hed be trying to get me to go home aswell"unfortunatly his freind is the dj and announced to the whole pub that i had something special under my clothes and seemed to spend the rest of the night being looked at funny so im now going to go and do the last load of washing that seems to breed when im not looking mostly because of craig changing constantly because of the new girlfreind which i wouldnt mind but hes rather liberal with the joop {aftershave}and my whole washing load smells of joop so ill probably pop back later for a longer chat and SHAD think your self lucky lady weve got gale force winds and pouring rain and very low temps 2-3 degrees only apparently the kick back from hurricane ivan so enjoy the heat while you can and the bonus to being away its always so good to come back again
kirsty

Oh Meadow thanks for the jokes! I think my 2 brain ceels must be overtired or something 'cos it took me a few seconds to work out why the woman wanted a mild heart attack!!
Shad SO good to see you back in touch with your keyboard, we really do miss reading your posts!
Hellos to absolutely everyone else and sorry this is a short postie tonight but I shall come back tomorrow....
My eyes are too stingy to see properly this evening and I have a bit of an headache...ho hum.
Be good til I return.
T.T.T.T.

How does Ivan affect Scotland?!? Inquiring minds must find out?
Had a lovely day yesterday, pottering around the garden watering and weeding and raking. DS had mowed the lawns and not been able to find the grass rake - which by the way he had to move to get to the shed! Must have other things on his mind. I am about to go out and dead head the roses and weed in the front yard today - better do some watering there as well I suppose. It's nice to just go out and potter. I had all good intentions of finishing off some more projects in the bathroom, but took one look yesterday, threw up my hands in horror and said it's all too hard. No not really, but realistically the time it takes me to cut the necessary tiles means that is all I get to do. Then when it comes to sticking them down. It takes ages to mix the stuff and then even longer to clean up. So I decided the yard needed me more! Today the DS and the Womble are putting on a barbeque for lunch. So I will wander the yard again this morning and then pack my stuff and waddle around for a reunion with Sunday the cat and the bbq. I promise to be good with the food. Since DS is organising this feat, I can not imagine much beyond sausages!
I too enjoyed the jokes Meadow. And it is good to hear of a youngster who is happy to go to school and enjoys the class and teacher. It will probably change in years to come, enjoy and encourage while you can!
Ah coffee is ready, the washing machine is beeping, the junk mail man is passing the mail box I see, best not let him see me or I'll be here to midday explaining the rudimentary aspects of email and internet - this is a fully grown Downs Syndrome person who is perfectly capable of lots of things, but sporadic learning of internet is not one of them. Time to get on with things I think. Back to Melbourne tonight. Catch up with you all later today I hope.

Evening girls,

Shad, I saw your dilemma in your journal about getting your exercise in. I think once you get used to seeing things monitored on the treadmill, it's hard to give it up. What about picking up a pedometer? They run about $10 US here. At least you can track time and distance and sometimes you might go a bit farther just to get the amount of steps to a certain number. Here 2000 steps = 1 mile, I'm sure the calibration instructions will tell you the amount of steps in a kilometer. When I was travelling I took my walkman with me with pre-recorded tapes that I made. I knew that X number of songs equalled 1 mile and would track my progress too. Also I had a website with good exercises using a stretchy band - those count as weight bearing exercises and this one was specific for people travelling. I actually took the band and copies of the exercises with me and used it too! Just some suggestions for less expensive alternates to exercise when travelling.

Happy belated birthday to Emily Meadow. Sounds like the family had a nice celebration. Oh my, so sorry to hear that she at the tender age of 5 is already not talking about school and telling you to hush to boot - I got a good giggle over that story.

Mel, I too am starting to hear more and more about Stevia. This might just push me to go to the local Trader Joe's store as I'm sure they will have it there. I don't know if I can afford to walk in that store tho as I will no doubt walk out with a cart full of all kinds of stuff.

Linus, am I wrong or was it a bit cheeky of your son to announce to the whole pub that Mom had her fancy undies on? Glad to hear you got out and had a good time.

Teel, loved your pictures from London and the medley of ABBA songs that keeps running through my head - great music! Hope you are feeling better. I've been spending less time on the computer these days and when I do sit down now, seems like the eyes are getting dry and blurry. Maybe I caught it from Mel I do have eye drops and have started using them tho I think I spill more than I can get in the eye. I can probably handle anything much easier than putting something in my eye tho I did for a year wear contact lens and didn't have a problem with that.

Nae if you have snow on the mountains already are the trees changing colors by you? I think we're going to get an odd color season as the trees are partially changing already but the leaves look like they are dying out rather than turning brilliant colors. However, we haven't had much rain at all to speak of and I thought that was also a necessary part of the mixture for good color.

Next week is my last full week of work. Now it's getting a bit melancholy, counting all the "lasts" - next Friday is the last Friday I will be working for this company, this will be the last trip to office, the last group lunch with the girls, etc, etc. I drive through a lovely area of forest and I will miss not seeing the brilliant groves of trees that border the river as I will be leaving before they change over - guess I can always take a ride there on my own afterwards. I told DH I am growing impatient of this waiting, waiting and at this moment I am starting to think that neither place is all too eager to hire for the positions they are interviewing for. Which means starting to look all over again.

I am also annoyed as I am slowly but steadily gaining weight. Enough already. I have the metabolism of a slug and I think it gets even worse as the winter approaches and the body foolishly hangs on to every calorie. My one foot is swelling from the fluid and it is tight and uncomfortable both with and without a shoe. This past week I have really made an effort to exercise dillegently (have done at least 40 minutes and upwards of 90 minutes 6 of the last 7 days). I have drank so much water that I have run out of my bottled water and am tapping into DH's supply. I have watched what I ate, planned well and reduced portions to the point that sometimes I was actually still hungry after I ate. Or hungry in the evening. All this and I STILL gained a pound this week. 1 pound in a WEEK! I swear there is a part of me that says too bad, I'm going back to smoking again. At least when I was smoking I held off 14 pounds that I had lost in 2002. I am up over 30 pounds since I quit smoking. 30 pounds in 5 months. Totally unacceptable.

So I am disgusted and tired and angry and well --- teetering on the edge of emotions here. I am trying to direct the anger on the treadmill - to go longer, faster or burn a few more calories than the last workout. And then I think of the rest of you. No one has it easy and I should not be complaining. Like you, I just have to find something that works and stick with it. Sorry for the whine, I keep telling myself that this too shall pass - I'm not one who does well when things are in a state of chaos. I'll fix it myself preferably but many things at this moment are not within my control and I have to remember that.

Enough nagging for the moment. Take care everyone. I am not posting much lately as I have made a committment to myself that it is more important for me to use my free time to apply myself to exercise and getting back to the fly lady clutter control way of life. I still think about you all and send good wishes and healthy days your way.

Happy~ I think the fabulous 50's kick in when we're 60!!! I am 57 and still waiting! Forget the ciggies. So you will be thinner with cancer??? You will find the strength, the right plan and exercise when things calm down a bit with the job situation. Maybe you should do what I did and minimize the goals. Conquer one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed. I get that way very easily. Not sure how you are. Hang in there and IT WILL PASS! You're going through a tough patch like Shad did earlier. Tie knots in the rope to make it easier to hang onto but NEVER let go! LOL It was the DH of linus that said something about why he wanted to go home! Not the son!!!
About the stevia....many drs have recommended that I use NO sugar substitue at all. None of them trust the knockoffs for long term effects and also the rosacea. Now if aspartame can cause all this with my nose (and many other people)......this is what they base their decisions on. Same thing with butter. I have tried to stay with natural products but tiny amounts. Right now I use no butter or sugar. Guess I was reaching for stars. I will find another way!

Linus~glad you had a good time and I think attention is good for what ails all of us. Glad you got some that night! i would have loved top have been there! LOL Jen used to think Moms should be AT HOME to! LOL I think they get nervous when we act like REAL PEOPLE instead of the Mom they are used to. !LOL
Hope the night out made you feel great!!! Get that outfit ready for next weekend!!! LOL

Teel~ Hope you feel better. Sorry the eyes are tired or hurting.
See you soon.TTTT!

Shad~ Adios friend and see you next time!!! Is it every OTHER weekend I think you said?? Hope the BBQ was good and Sunday forgave you!! Keep the chin up and we will be here when you return. Glad you didn't do he bathroom this time and just went out and enjoyed the air and the garden instead. good for the soul after being in the city. You have your whole life to finish that room....just so long as it's done before I win the lottery and I pick everyone up and we drop in for a visit!!!

"If wishes were horses then beggars would ride!" Giddy yap!!!

I am having a cooking, dvd, cleaning and lazy day. didn't feel like going out. A bit chilly and breezy. Supposed to calm down tomorrow. The sun is out and bright as a button! Tomorrow is the mall and a wee bit of Xmas shopping, a haircut and window shopping is on the agenda. Hope you all have a great start to the new week!! I'll be thinking of you all

And its good afternoon from a wet and windy Suffolk!
I am wearing a long sleeved top to salute the coming of Autumn...it certainly is rather chilly out there...and guess who as usual has washing getting wet again on the line? No not me! My neighbour at the back. Earlier the sheets and towels were blowing like sails but she has missed her oppertunity to get them in whilst dry and now it is way too late!!
And its Monday...weigh day for me. And the scales first of all said a very depressing 78kg and I sank into a deep pit of despair until I had been to the loo (ooop sorry too much info there!) Then I took my pjs off and they seetled on a reasonably pleasing 77.3kg Yee ha!!!! It is such a small differance from last week that I dont know whether it really counts as a loss (last week=77.4kg) but it is not a gain...instant happiness!! Why oh why are we SO darn stuck on scale measurements? Gosh the reading really does have the potwntial to wreak havoc over one's psyche! Actually I probably made things worse for myself by drinking diet coke yesterday...should have done that earlier in the week and not the day before weigh-in!

HAPPY I am sorry you are having such a struggle with the dreaded scales at present. As Mel rightly said, HANG ON TO THAT ROPE and yes, put a bigger knot in the middle...I for one would rather have you a larger version but healthy for not smoking than ill and thin. Big hug for you my friend.
SHADWere your ears burning the other day? I went for a walk with a friend and Holly hound in The Abbey Gardens and I was telling her of yours and Chris' visit and the park ranger coming to the rescue from wandering mad men!!! The flowers look very pretty and the weather was just as it was when you came! Grey damp and generally miserable! Hope the barbeque went well and DS managed more than the usual sausage! Funny man...re: the garden rake leaning against the shed!! I wonder what on earth he was thinking about that he was so distracted!!
LINUSHow are you today? I hope that you too are feeling a bit better than of late.It is greatly satisfying when friends notice that you are losing weigh and congratulate you...but hey! I think I'd have given Connor a smack round the head! Cheeky beggar, talking like that..in public too!How old is he? Tell him to wait until his girlfriend wears some extremely sexy and wonderful lingerie and then he can open up his big mouth! Ooops sorry... I'll shut up now...got a bit carried away there with the quest fro politeness and manners!
I had best shoot off now...shopping in the supermarket awaits me! Joy oh joy is unconfounded!!!
Bye bye all and everyone take care till I return!!

sorry ive not been in but as usual the good mood didnt even get to lat 24 hours and yes this ones gone already craig decieded that him and his mates where going to sit in a local park and get hammered on vodka!!!!! needless to say the first i heard about it was when dh,s young cousin got a phonecall from a freind to say where he was and she got to him to find him arguing with a grown man unfortunatly the man deceided that he didnt like being called a effing poo***r and had pulled a knife on craig poor cousin had to do some swift talking to get the man to leave and then had to try and get craig home eventually she gave up and phoned me and i had to leave conner at home on his own with strict instructions to stay online to his aunt till i came back craig was not in a good state it took me 3 hours to try and calm him down during which he treid to jump out the bedroom window eventually when dh came home he managed to get him settled but needless to say he spent the night in my bed incase he was ill during the night and let me tell you sharing a bed with a nearly six foot 15 year old who stunk of vodka and who snored like a train was not fun having a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that my son could be dead now and personally think im about to have a nervous breakdown as i dont think i can handle any more of this its all getting to be a wee bit too much thank god you are all here for me to vent my spleen to otherwise id probably have cracked by now ill try and get on later to catch up with everyone but the way the head is at the moment i probaly wouldnt bank on it
thanks for listening it really does help
kirsty

Linus

God save the teenagers from themselves! What a frightening experience. I bless my Mum every day as an adult for not whipping the tar out of me as a kid - and I wasn't really that bad but dealing with the immortality of youth is enough to make you go mad as you well know.

I suppose the drinking - well they will all try it but you hear so much about alchohol poisoning as they don't stop at just a pint or two. Hopefully he will have a nasty hangover enough to think twice about it.

God love yah woman, I think the Lord had a special plan for me not having children - don't know if I could keep my wits about me. So you go and vent all that you need to, write out the worry and the anger so that when you do speak to him, you can do it calmly with carefully chosen words. Words that may not have an effect right this minute, but believe me, they will be filed in the back of the brain.

((((Linus, big hugs))))I'm so sorry your son has caused you such worry. At 15 he is certainly testing the waters of rebellion and trying to figure out what being a man is all about. I remember seeing part of a program about teenagers on PBS, I found the link for you, maybe there is something there that might help you feel a little better. He is pushing right now. Wrap him in a tight hug and let him know how much his behaviour scared you, he may act glib but I bet he scared himself too. Stay calm and good luck

Inside the teenage brain

Regardless of how big they get, they will always need some tenderness from mom!

Linus~ I am sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday. ((((((HUGS)))))) my friend and hope they help some. Teeneagers are a tough lot today and soooo many pressures are on them. All my wishes that you and the DH can get it all sorted out and he sees the light and wisdom of it all. Good luck!

Teel~ Nice going on the downward spiral!! Congratulations!!!
Pretty chilly over here now too. Feels energizing but I am freezing already!!! Heater is on in the livingroom since Saturday!!

Meadow~ "The Wise"~ The giraffes are adorable. Don't you just get a warm and fuzzy feeling when you look at moms and babes in the animal kingdom. I got goosebumps thinking about them. Sigh.

I am proud to announce that in almost 14 days I lost 3 lbs and 3 inches. The scale waivers over the 173 mark but I'm pretending it's right on! Had a great start to the morning. Went to the Mall yesterday and had a good time. Started Xmas shopping and even bought myself a 3 pc set in a silver-grey color. Mashopped with Jen and myself in mind. Did it all with cash too. No credit cards this year is our motto. there will only be the 3 of us this year so that's a load off the budget too.

Hope you all have a great day.

Linus....phew! That boy of yours really needs someone to give him a sensible talking to on the evils of binge drinking...and so does the man with the knife, come to that... Thank the Lord for his safety today...Linus give me your landline phone number in a p/m and I will ring you as soon as I can. I have been meaning to ask you for this for an age and now seems as good a time as any to be able (I hope) to give you some added support...afterall I am the only one on this thread who doesn't have an ocean to swim across to get to you!! Or probably just as good, I will p/m you with my phone number and you can call me when you need to. Come on gal. do it NOW!
Golly me (oh dear sorry to all golliwog protecters!) it is SO windy out there today!
I had a delicious fresh soup for lunch...Covent Garden Haddock Chowder...yummy It seemed just the right sort of weather for a big bowl d' soupe!!!
It seems such an age now since we were back from London and yes I know I still have loads more photo cds to install....
I think I got as far as telling you about our trip to HMS Belfast and the fountains..well of course the fountains are like those found in Hellbrunn Palace...step on a certain flagstone and the water shoots up to over 6 foot and everyone gets very wet!! well not rain but you do need an umberella unless you are of the male species and stipped down to your pants and oh yes you are between the ages of 6 and 9 and indeed 2 out of the 3 boys got soaked in their jeans....I was so mad I was glad I wasn't anyone's mother!
On the Wednesday we took the river trip from Greenwich, home of the Cutty Sark & the Gypsy Moth, up to the Thames Barrier and back to Westminster Pier. It was a glorious day to be on the water...and in the afternoon we went back to do a little shopping in Harrods...
In the evening we had booked tickets to see Mamma Mia and it was on our last day that we saw the Changing of the Guard and had a tour of Buckingham Palace and The Mews. The weather on that day too was perfect and we arrived on the Mall early so we had a front view of all the proceedings. I went with Ruth to have our photo taken next to a very beautiful black horse on which was mounted a Metropolitan policewoman...Ruth had her hand leaning on my shoulder and a few seconds later I thought cor, her hand was getting heavy...and I looked round and the horse had decided its head was getting too heavy and was resting his neck on my shoulder! Unfortunately Alan didn't get a photo of that!
My neighbours flew off the Crete in the early hours of this morning...I spect the weather is a darn sight warmer than it is here at this moment!!
Meadow...I LOVE that beautiful giraffe picture...nice one. You do find some really great pictures to put up!
Mel my dear, WELL DONE on this months stats! Brilliantly done is what I say!! And Christmas shopping too!! I cannot scream TOO EARLY at you 'cos I got a few bits whilst on holiday in Salzburg...in June....
Hellos to Shad for when she can log in! We miss you Miss Shad! And where is Miss Nae this week?
Ok time for me to go...bye for now...

thanks to you all its a wee bit easier to take when you have people telling you that your not the worse mum in the world sometimes i think that maybe i should let them run wild and put no restrictions on them as the kids whos parents dont give a sh*t seem to do all right at the moment he hasnt started moaning about being grounded so he must realise what a total and utter twat he was but hey that wont last long MEL WAY TO GO WOMAN im so glad your getting some results for all your hard work your putting me to shame thats all i seem to have done sinse sunday is eat and smoke and no i wont say how much or how many but needless to say i can buy boxes and boxes of jaffa cakes and i did and my house now smells like the local pub so send some of that tolerance to me that you seem to have an abundance of and ill see about getting back on the diet its been that bad dh thinkls ive got early pms TEEL im going to take you up on that offer as soon as i get the kids back to school and paece reigns again theyve been off since friday and dont go back till tomorrow and then they only have a half day so are home at 1.30 MEADOW the way i feel at the moment the giraffe would need to be strangeling the baby and thats not a nice thought i do hope im not giving you nightmares about things to come id say girls are different but well i wasnt as my mum takes great delight in pointing out to me i think thats what makes it so scary as i know just WHAT they might get up to and the mind boggles HAPPY my kids are the light of my life i gave up uni to have craig and ive never regretted it but sometimes you just think just for a wee while what could have been but then given the current state of my spine if id left it i wouldnt be able to have kids now and i think i would have resented that more when i was younger i always said i didnt want kids just dogs and well my mum says i should have stuck to that SHAD if id had the money you would have had a visitor on sunday as ive never felt like running away my whole life but i seriously thought about it on sunday and well my love your the farthest and my peace would have been secured i would have sat and pined the whole time but oh god peace and some serious adult conversation well ladies i must go and chase the horrors into the shower so i can settle down as im a wee bit achy probably because its cold and raining oh by the way shad seemingly we get the kick back from the hurricanes as they spiral the eddys that are cast off can run un-interupted till they hit our coast and with it being a hot front when it hits our cold it goes full frontal {so craig says }personally i think the weather men have to use something as an exscuse for having the weather wrong again
kirsty