You did get some great advice. Regardless, if you are breastfeeding or not the first 6 weeks are the hardest. Babies are not meant to sleep through the night at 3 weeks.
I remember being so committed but in so much pain at first but now that my son is almost one, it is second nature to us. The time spent with him nursing has meant the world to me. At first I felt I had been lied to, all those add with angelic looking breastfeeding mothers, B*llshi*t. I cringed everytime he latched on. But now it is almost over, I am a little sad. I am letting him lead the weening and we are down to some afternoon snacks and right before bedtime.
My advice: co-sleeping is great, having your baby within arms reach and learning to nurse while laying down, saved me.
a bowl of oatmeal a day, does wonders for supply problems
nursing moms tea
lanolin for you nipples, apply right after a nursing session, feels great.
My friend's baby latched after birth perfectly, but the nurses gave her child a bottle of formula and she could never get her to latch correctly again and gave up after 6 weeks.
You know, I had a similar problem with my first daughter. The first time I nursed her, the nurses were amazed by how perfectly she latched on. Then the observation nursery (where she had to be because of the meds I was on) gave her a bottle of formula, and we spent the rest of the time I was in the hospital crying because I couldn't get her to latch properly.
And she was the one I had the most trouble nursing, in the beginning. She was the one who would leave little hickies on my areolae (same as bruises, I guess), and even when she did get on the nipple I'd wind up with my nipples sucked to a slant--sure sign of a bad latch. But not breastfeeding wasn't acceptable to me--I'm headstrong like that--so I stuck with it. And if memory serves, it got easier right around 2 or 3 months. She nursed til a week short of her third birthday. (Funny how I started out thinking I'd not nurse past one year, and now I get scared of accidentally weaning my 23-month-old because she's so young. )
You do what you can, of course. Breastfeeding was so important to me I made darned sure there wasn't a bottle nor can of formula anywhere in the house. It would have been far too easy to start slipping her a bottle here & there, but that's a slippery slope I've seen too many mamas who want to nurse slide down. And now that I know how much soy and milk are allergens...and how exposure to a potential allergen can sensitize you to it...I'm very, very glad I went the route I did.
It is interesting how quickly the nurses in the hospital will give the baby a bottle. Jasmine latched on 2 hours after birth without any problem - but because she was fussy that night the nurse gave her a bottle of formula to quiet her. Thank God Jasmine didn't have any issues with the breast after that. Turns out that the nipple used was pretty similar to mine.
I kept my son in the room w/ me the whole time I was in the hospital. I didn't want anyone even saying bottle around me! I was SO determined to b/f him. I am glad that I did (are still!! yay!). He is 16 months. He doesn't have any of the problems my daughter had (has). We ended up bottle feeding my daughter within a week of her birth. She was on Nutramagen. She has eczema & her skin is super sensitive. She is growing out of these, slowly. I will always be sad that I didn't stick w/ breastfeeding her. But I did what I had to & she is fine. Smart, happy, healthy & beautiful. I also want to add that I had more sleep breastfeeding than I had bottle feeding. Six weeks wasn't the "magic number" for us. But by nine or ten I was at ease b/f & making lunch @ the same time!!! My hubby was in awe & I never felt so wonderful.
I specifically and adamantly stated "NO BOTTLE". I stressed it repeatedly. And when the nurse begged me to let her take him to the nursery the second night (I was in an extra day for the tubal) because she knew I desperately needed to sleep, I made her promise no bottle. She in fact had to wake him and bring him to me to try and feed him since he slept over 5 hours and wasn't waking up to eat like she thought he would.
Unfortunately, I ended up having to give him a bottle within the week. He lost entirely too much body weight and wasn't eating. My milk wasn't coming through. We had to supplement him with forumula to get him to eat, and then a lactation consultant told me to have hubby dribble the bottle down my breast, while he was latched on, into the corner of his mouth. We had to do this for a couple of days to get my milk flowing. We still have to supplement him for two reasons. One, he had an intestinal infection and has excessive gas, so the doc wants him supplemented on Alamentum. Secondly, we've charted all of his eating habits, his diaper changes, his moods, etc. for a week. Doc noticed that he seems to not be satisified (getting enough) at night and that his gas is worse in the middle of the night. So we supplement him with Alamentum before bed. For some unknown reason, I just don't produce enough milk at night.
I'm jumping in late here and it's way too late at night for me to make much of a coherent post, but I just wanted to add a few things.
About your coffee question, according to The Breastfeeding Answer Book (from La Leche League) you can drink five 5 oz cups of coffee each day without it really affecting baby. I take advantage of this fact and have a morning or afternoon coffee almost day without worry.
One other thing, I notice you're also living in Alberta. I think that there are something like 25 LLL meeting locations in our province. (Man, am I a keener who just read New Beginnings or what??! ) I would strongly recommend stopping by a meeting or at least phoning a leader. The one-on-one support is amazing and you'll probably hear a lot of helpful information. Going to meetings and finding a support system was one of the best parenting decisions I have made.
I hope things smooth out for you! For me, the first six weeks with my son were so tough but it was a breeze after that. This time around I've been blessed with an easy and enthusiastic eater!
Kim, I've really started to loosen up the past couple of days. I realized that I've let my baby rule my life instead of getting her to fit into my life. So I'm really working on getting back to my normal self - I started drinking a small coffee every day - I LOVE coffee and so far it has not affected her at all! I also allowed myself a small glass of red wine with dinner last night (which was fine since we gave her the one daily meal of formula at the next feeding).
But guess what! I found the answer to ending my exhaustion!
Last night we moved Jasmine to her own room and used the baby monitor. I still had to get up every 2 hours to feed her, but in between I slept great! I didn't realize how much she was keeping me awake by sleeping next to me - she's a noisy sleeper and I don't think I slept at all when she was right beside me!
So I figure I got about 6-7 hours sleep last night in between feedings. I feel like a brand new woman! I even feel refreshed as far as my breastfeeding goes, and I've been paying extra attention to getting her to latch on better. I use my finger to get her mouth open wide when she's too lazy to do it herself.
So thank you everyone for your advice and support! You helped me through a really tough time
Last night we moved Jasmine to her own room and used the baby monitor...she's a noisy sleeper and I don't think I slept at all when she was right beside me!
We did the same thing and now all three of us are sleeping so much better. She's sleeping for longer streches now and I'm only getting up 2 times a night. She's been in her own room for about a week.
Sleeping is a strange thing. Co-sleeping saved my nursing relationship, but seperate rooms is the answer for a lot of people. Glad you found your solution!
Re: Bottles. My daughter had a lazy latch and jaundice and the only way to get enough liquid in her was via bottle. It helped get the jaundice out and improved her latch. Yet another thing that is different for everyone. Like you said regarding the shape, I bought bottles with slow flow nipples shaped like mine. Worked great. I pumped and had daddy feed her bottles in the middle of the night because 15 minutes of pumping and feeding was much better than an hour of difficult nursing. You just find what works for you.
It seems like you are sticking with it. Good job. I don't know what it is about the 6 week mark, but man, when it hits nursing becomes easy as pie. Then, like Sabra said, the growth spurt hits. I didn't even mind the constant nursing that came with the spurt because I wasn't curling my toes in pain anymore. Shortly after, the hourly night nursings went to only once or twice a night. Just keep trucking.
Congrats on making it this far. It is such an adjustment for mama and baby. It seems only fair to give it a two month trial period. If you have a good pump, you can replace that bottle of formula with breastmilk down the road if you are concerned about supply. I'm 9 months into nursing and I honestly have a hard time remembering the hard times. I suppose it is like labor, you just remember the great stuff after a while.
Thanks for your support Meredith I don't think I would've continued if I didn't have the support I did here...I'm looking forward to the 6 week mark! Only 2 weeks to go!
Hi Toybox,
You have received some excellent advice here from these experienced mammas and I am glad that you have found ways to adjust and meet your goals.
To the woman with the "****" comment: I had to comment on the reference to "breastfeeding ****s" above. This makes me very sad. ****s murdered 6 million men, women and children in the most brutal and inhumane manners. Persons who support breastfeeding are not mass murderers or evil. And the use of the term waters down the horrors inflicted by ****s. Let's be aware of language and have some respect for the victims of the Holocaust. Especially at this time of year. I'm sure you weren't thinking of it, but I hope that you might in the future.
get better. After about three weeks your nipples become shoe leather. I had a very hard time at the beginning, but with the help of a lactation cunsultant and the wonderful nurses at the birthing center We mastered it. Also if you baby was early I dont recommend making any decisions before thje due date. I kid you not, my son somehow all of a sudden knew what he was doing the day he hit his due date ( he was 3 weeks early). Also if you pump then the hubby can take a feeding for you, or even let you have a nap during the day. Of course you caould always switch to formula at night or even just sometimes to give youreslf a break. Whatever works for you and your baby.
Coffee ???? I checked with my pediatrician and a nursing mother can consume 4 caffeine drinks a day without it affecting her milk. I partake of this luxury!!!!
Tons of luck!!!
Tara
A lot of the BF commentary probably comes from people seeing segments like one my hubby saw the other day (Oprah, I think)...where a woman was BF'ing her 14 YEAR old son.
A lot of the BF commentary probably comes from people seeing segments like one my hubby saw the other day (Oprah, I think)...where a woman was BF'ing her 14 YEAR old son.
What!? That is odd; I didn't see that..why was she doing that? I know that breastmilk does have healing properties (for cancer, etc. some docs will order breastmilk from the donor banks for their patients because breastmilk has the healing affects and is digested quickly and easily). But even if that was the case..she could pump the milk..I hope that she wasn't *breastfeeding*..that freaks even me out!
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) I would strongly recommend stopping by a meeting or at least phoning a leader. The one-on-one support is amazing and you'll probably hear a lot of helpful information. Going to meetings and finding a support system was one of the best parenting decisions I have made.
