Just a comment about 'breastfeeding ****s' - IMO, no harm was intended and people need to calm right down about it. There are women who are adamant about breastfeeding to the point that they look down on women who choose not to or are unable to, for whatever reason. That is just wrong. We are all women and we are all doing what we feel is best for our babies. Lending support is what is needed, not judgement or falsehoods (I did a bit of research on that cancer patient comment and came up with nothing but AMA & Oxford U statements that there's no proof it works) to try to guilt a woman into breastfeeding.

I really like to cook soup, but I'm not offended by the Seinfeld coining of "Soup ****."

Yep. I stand by my usual statement: You'd think men would be OK with it. Men love multipurpose things, and a milk-filled breast combines two of their favorite things: sex and food. I guess the problem is that the food isn't for them...Now, if we lactated Cheez Wiz...!

I'm a bit envious of those of you who've successfully managed to get your breastfed kids to take bottles. I'd love to be able to pump & leave a bottle for a sitter or some such, but my daughters have never gone for it. I must have tried five or six different nipples with Linda, all to no avail. I haven't even tried with Esther. (Ah well, I never can pump very much either. Even when I had such an oversupply with Bobbie that I leaked freely, I never could pump more than an ounce at a time.)

And I loathe Dr Phil. I am truly frightened by how many devotees he has. It's trash TV just like Sally Jesse was, just like Montel is. It's like the man has taken it upon himself to trash attachment parenting, because issues like extended nursing, tandem nursing, and co-sleeping are invariably presented in a negative light. I actually had someone say that co-sleeping was bad because Dr Phil said it robs parents of "husband & wife time" (which, of course, means sex). As if there aren't plenty of parents who put the children before the marriage who have their kids in cribs!

Gah, sorry, I know that's not really what the thread is supposed to be about.

Toybox, I am glad you found something that works for you. That's what matters. I know I never got a jot of sleep with my baby in a basinette beside me because I'd wake up and sit up and check on her every single time she made a noise or moved. Cosleeping worked for me because it meant I need to, at the most, turn my head to check on the baby. If having Jasmine in a different room means you get more sleep, great! Sleep is the emporer of it all in the early days.

I didn't see it, and hubby only caught some of it. I asked him what they were saying about that woman, and he said she was pretty much ignored, that they didn't focus on it.

I don't know how the moderation has been in the pregnant/nursing forum here as of late, but I am here now, and I want everyone to know my stand.

This is a place for support, and I want it to maintain a POSITIVE and ENCOURAGING attitude at all times. I will take it upon myself to have threads edited or deleted entirely if people choose not to play nice. Most of us learned when we were children, that if we can't say something nice, not to say anything at all. I think the rule applies here.

Motherhood and family is a very personal thing. Every situation is different. In every pregnany and parent forum, magazine, and show I visit, read, or watch-everyone seems to be really uptight and defensive about their choices. The breastfeeders clang heads with the bottle feeders-each defending their positions. The natural childbirth advocates having babies at home with a midwife argue their positions with those who choose to go to hospitals and have epidurals. The co-sleepers defend their positions against those who choose to place their babies in cribs.

Every family, every mother, every pregnancy, and every baby is different. The same choice may not work for everyone.

I fully think that these choices are for each mother to make on her own-and it is no one else's right to down them for their decision.

For example-I had my first child in a hospital. I had an epidural. If I would have chosen a natural childbirth at home, I could have very well died. I had a 10 pound, 4 oz. 23 inch long baby with a 15" head-and my body could not handle the pain of it. I had the epidural because it was simply too much to bear for a first child. After I had her, I had to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding I was having. Beign in a hospital saved my life.

With my son, they monitored his growth more carefully via ultrasound, and they induced my labor 4 weeks early. I had a 9 pound, 4 oz. baby almost a month early-but because of him being slightly smaller, and my being monitored, I was able to have him without drugs.

Every woman's pain tolerance, health situation, baby size, and everything are different. One person cannot expect that everyone make the same decision as they did.

The same goes with breastfeeding, or with co-sleeping. I cannot co sleep with my child-because I DON'T sleep. I am in a constant state of semi-awake because of fear I will roll over onto them. The best decision for me personally is in a bassinet next to my bed, and then a couple months later, to their own crib with a baby monitor. While a good friend of mine loves to co-sleep with her daughter-it simply does not work for me because I don't get any actual sleep.

Breastfeeding seems to be the hottest issue out there, and the most defensive among mothers. I totally encourage all new mothers to at least give breastfeeding a shot because it IS best for the baby, but there can be problems that make it hard to continue-and I don't feel that a mother should be made to feel like she is less of a mother because she chooses to feed formula.

What if a woman HAS to go back to work, and after her 6 week maternity leave, she cannot express enough milk with a pump? What if she has given 3 different pumps a try, and simply cannot make it work? This is where some women get on the schedule of supplementing with formula while they are at work and the baby is with grandma, and they nurse part time through the hours when they are home. I don't think a woman should feel bad about that. The gave it a shot, but sometimes you still have to make hard choices.

In my personal case, I nursed my daughter and my son when they were born, but when my son was 6 weeks old he had some complications and had to go to the Intensive Care unit for severe pneumonia. He was unable to nurse from me with all of the wires and tubes, and I stayed by his side and pumped milk into a bottle for him for his feedings a few times a day. Due to the stress I was under, and the separation from him (I was unable to hold him as much as I would have liked, etc.) my body knew something was up, and simply "dried up". I drank fenugreek tea, and did other things to try to stimulate my milk production, and it simply never went back to being enough to sustain him. I tried for weeks after he was released from the hospital. For a few weeks I would nurse him all the time, and have to supplement with formula, and finally I couldn't do it any more. I was also giving him breathing treatments every two hours, and trying to take care of my older daughter.
I finally had to switch to formula. I don't feel like I am any less of a mother because I couldn't nurse him until he was a year or more old.

Every situation is different, and we all love our children. Please remember that while your choices may be the best for you and your child, they are not always the best for everyone else.

Please be kind,
Aphil