[toybox]

To get some sleep.

I am so exhausted. She's up all of the time, day and night. My breasts are sore and literally bruised - you can see the bruises. I wanted to breastfeed for at least 3 months, but I cannot continue this for another 2.5 months - I am just existing and feel awful most of the time. This is not PPD - I am simply exhausted...

[toybox]

Thanks Mary. I'm going to aim for 6 weeks and re-evaluate how things are going then...I guess I just assumed that formula fed babies sleep longer because the food takes longer to digest - or that someone else could feed her to give me a break.

Can I at least have a coffee or something for a pick-me-up?

[Mina]

Here ya go!

[toybox]

[Marianna]

Hi.. I just wanted to say well done for keeping up the breastfeeding when you are so tired... Nursing is tough going in the beginning, but once it all snaps into place it just gets so much easier. I didn't know anyone who had breastfed, only a friends older mother - she made me promise to keep it up for 6 weeks regardless of how I felt I was going... and she was right. There were many times that I wanted to stop - but in the end my daughter and I developed a very lovely breastfeeding relationship which has continued... Breastfeeding provide you and your bubba lots of benefits for as long as you chose to breastfeed.

I would recommend contacting your local La Leche group and getting some in real life support for those tough days

[hautbois]

I know how you feel. I have a cracked nipple that is healing sooooo slowly. Before she was born, I just assumed I would bf for a year. Now I find myself setting small goals...1 week, then 2 weeks, then 4 weeks, etc. I'll hit the 4 week mark tomorrow. My next goal is 6 weeks and I'll decide from there. I did give her 1 bottle of formula one night (3 oz) because the thought of bf'ing brought me to tears and I just wanted a break. She did fine with it and now we're back on to bf'ing and I feel better after having the break (mentally).

[toybox]

Thank you Marianna and Donna. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. Even knowing that I'm not alone helps me a lot and encourages me to stick with it for a while longer.

[almostheaven]

If you're getting sore, it may be improper latching and you might need to reposition the baby until it feels more comfortable on your nipple. You can also try nursing on just one side at a time to give the other side more time to heal.

As for being up all night, I've learned to get to bed much earlier. There are also times that hubby has taken a night shift with either pumped breast milk or formula supplement and let me get a complete night's uninterrupted sleep.

[GreatBigMonsterMomma]

I never want to say people promise themselves six weeks. Please try for at least eight weeks. The problem with saying six is that's usually the time of the first growth spurt, which is a sleeping and eating marathon. It does get easier past six weeks, though. I wouldn't want you to think that the six-week marathon is the way it always will be.

You've already gotten good advice about the bruising. Definitely talk to a lactation consultant (and make sure she is IBLCE-certified, otherwise it's hit-or-miss as to how educated she truly is), or call your local LLL chapter for help. (You can also check out www.breastfeeding.com for advice.)

As far as sleeping--sleep when she sleeps, if you possibly can. I know it's not as simple as it sounds, but if you can manage it at least some of the time, it'll help a lot. Keep her bassinet as close to your bed as you can manage so you can get to her easily. Another thing to consider if you can afford it is the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper--it's a sidecar that attaches to your bed & would make getting her into her sleep space that much easier. Other things that have helped me keep Esther asleep longer are a battery-powered swing (stays on until I turn it off) & covering her up with a shirt I've been wearing (newborns are all about scent).

[Ocean Girl]

Hi
I have had one child and she was formula fed from birth. Sure, I did have a medical condition which prevents me from breastfeeding but I must say...she is a beautiful, healthy and strong little girl.
I wanted to breastfeed but I could not and I worried incessantly that she was not getting enough but my obs said that the colostrum from the first few feeds is the number 1 most important thing they get (which she did not get anyway). I am now 15 weeks pregnant with number 2 and he/she will not be breastfed either so take heart. Even if you give yoiur bub formula at night to give yourself a rest would be okay (my own opinion). Lots of mums I know supplemented this way from day 1.
My baby slept through from very early on so I was lucky, all the best..try not to worry so much even though its hard.

[GreatBigMonsterMomma]

The problem with supplementing with formula is this: It will hurt your supply. Breastmilk production is the ultimate in supply and demand. If you start giving formula at night to get more rest, that will lessen even your daytime supply. If you start a very young baby on a bottle, she may well refuse the breast for the simple reason that it's easier to drink from a bottle than from a breast (you have to work for the milk from a breast; milk from a bottle just drips out).

I was formula-fed as an infant, and I must say that I am a robustly healthy individual--I don't even remember the last time I had the flu, for instance, and I never get a shot. This does not, however, put the lie to the health benefits of breastfeeding.

I'll once again recommend the AAP's statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, specifically the section The Need, which outlines the health benefits for mother and child.

Of course, every woman must do what is best for herself and her family, and I will freely admit that I am not the person to look to for assistance in quitting nursing, as I've been doing it for very close to four years, nonstop (I am, in fact, tandem nursing for the second time). That doesn't mean it's easy for me, that means it's that important to me.

Any little bit helps, but the longer you can do it, the better.

[ShannonM]

toybox - All you need to worry about is doing the best you can possibly do, and then letting it go.

I was so excited to start nursing my daughter when she was born, but she had different ideas. She didn't take to the breast until a month later. The entire time I was trying, I was in incredible pain from cracked and bleeding nipples, and she was not even actually nursing. Then at about the four-week mark, something clicked and it all got much easier.

Problem was, I had to go back to work. (Not wanted to go back to work, had to go back to work.) I pumped as often as I could during the day, but my supply started running out when she was about eight months old. I felt bad about it at first, but then I realized I had done the best I could for as long as I could, and I started giving her formula and never looked back.

No one can judge you or your situation or your personal level of exhaustion. If you decide to cut it loose and give formula, your baby will be fine. Really. Just make sure you do yourself the favor of dumping the guilt from the breastfeeding ****s.

[ShannonM]

On the bottle before breastfeeding thing: I had a lactation consultant help me, and before her visit she suggested to me over the phone that I start using a certain kind of bottle nipple that closely mimics the action of breastfeeding. She said if Beth could get the hang of that, she'd eventually be able to breastfeed. She was right. So for whatever it's worth, there are some bottle nipples out there that can actually help things along if your baby is stuck.

[toybox]

Wow, thank you for all of your advice and support! I really appreciate it

My husband and I have decided to give her one formula feeding at night before bed to see how it goes. She took it last night with no issues about getting on the breast again. (I still got up 4 times after that to breastfeed her). She still prefers the breast, but it gave me a bit of a break and helped her settle for a couple of hours.

I think if I do this, it will take some of the pressure off so I won't burnout and quit altogether.

[HoosierHeather]

I don't have any great advice to offer, the other ladies have done a good job of that! I just wanted to say, don't feel bad about whatever decision you make. I had to give up BFing before I really wanted to, and it was very emotionally taxing on me - and didn't need to be! Breastfeeding is wonderful and healthy for you both - but if you're miserable, your baby is not going to be happy either, no matter what's in her belly.