Hello everyone! I'm going to try not to type a novel here, or get maudlin - two things of which I am definitely capable. My story is this: I'm 34 years old, married to a wonderful man, no kids. I weigh 400 pounds. I'm in a constant state of shame over my appearance, my health is starting to get scary. I'm diabetic, and when I was at the doctor two weeks ago for one of my constant respiratory infections (this one turned into pneumonia, yay!), an EKG revealed "abnormalities." I went to a cardiologist for a heart ultrasound and stress test. They couldn't do the stress test because, basically, I'm too big. So I go back to meet with the doctor tomorrow. I'm scared - heart disease runs in the family.

Do I want to be like this? Heck no. I've dieted and lost weight before. Put it all back on plus some. I've been heavy my whole life.

One thing I've recently realized is that I have binge eating disorder. The problem is, I don't know why or how to fix it. I'm just working through it all - it's tough! It's hard to talk to people around me about this stuff, because they're sympathetic, but they don't really understand. Know what I mean?

Well you're doing the right thing by coming here. You'll get all the support you need from here and make awesome friends along the way. Give yourself a pat on the back for starting this journey. it will definitely pay off!

I'm not sure what plan you're doing but this is my suggestion:
Track everything you put in your mouth, EVERYTHING. I suggest a program (LoseIt!, MyFitness Pal, CalorieCounters, Sparkpeople etc.).
Drink plenty of water and change all liquids to either water or teas. (coffee too just watch what goes in).

Start slow and steady so you don't discourage yourself. Make mini goals that are attainable in a reasonable time frame.

you can do this!

Welcome to 3FC, most of us know exactly what you mean and we will be here for you every step of the way.

Good luck, you can do this!

Best of luck to you.

I left my own scary doctor's appointment today and drove directly to the nearest Weight Watchers meeting. Something has to change. WW seems real-life and sustainable to me so that's what I'm going with and I'm all in.

Good luck to you.

Oh hun *hugs* The reason you kept losing and gaining is your probably did extreme things, and those just don't work You have to figure out what you are doing your "wrong."

Are you eating out a lot? Start cooking more at home. Don't know how to cook? Buy some simple and healthy cookbooks and get started. If you can afford it you can also look into plans like Medifast, or Nutrisystem, or even those companies that deliver meals to your door.

Are you eating lots of junkfood at home? Stop buying it and eat healthy snacks. Try to stay away from as much processed foods as possible and go for whole foods.

Also, SMALL changes can make big impacts on your life. Like if you drink your calories, stop! No more soda, no more juices, etc.

So if I were in your shoes, I'd start out slow. If you drink your calories, cut out all soda and sugary drinks, including orange juice. After a week of this, move on to the next thing, like once the junk food in the house is gone (eat it or give it away or toss it), don't buy more. Then fill the house with fruits and veggies and start cooking more, even cooking in bulk and eating the same meal a few days in a row helps.

Also, I agree to join a site like myfitnesspal, they are great You could also look into different "diet" plans. I actually have done south beach and changed my life around, I love it. I like that you don't HAVE to calorie or carb count, and I've learned a lot about eating the right amount of fruits and veggies and protein, etc.

And last but not least, maybe go seek counseling for your issues, you are right, a lot of people don't understand your issues, specially if they haven't gone through them, so a counselor would probably help you the most with coping and learning to not turn to food.

Good luck!

Welcome lariet!

I totally agree with the start out slow advice. I think sometimes when we want to make big changes like losing weight, eating better, exercise, etc we can fall into a trap where if we're not perfect, we give up.

So instead of trying to eat perfectly every day right off the bat, maybe pick 1 or two things you're gonna focus on. For me, I picked no sodas and that I would cook all my meals at home (I ate at the drive thru like 2 times a day!). I even told myself I could still eat burgers and fries, if I just cooked them at home! Obviously I had to ditch the burger and fries for every meal habit too, but that was another baby step

Whatever plan you choose, just work it one step at a time. You can do it!

Welcome! You've gotten a ton of great advice from everyone else here already especially with starting out small so not to overwhelm yourself. I just wanted to say we understand, we get it and that I believe you can do it. My thoughts are with you for your doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Good luck!

I had binge eating disorder and with therapy my eyes were opened to a lot of issues that I was completely unaware of. It is not about the food. Something else is probably going on with you that needs some attention. Not that healthier food choices and working out are bad but I would recommend seeing someone who specializes in eating disorders so you can simultaneously address the physical and emotional stuff. Hope to see you around these boards.

What is the answer to why we do what we do ? I hate the fact that my body needs a ton of exercise and not a lot of food to maintain a body I like. Because I like to eat. I'd like to chat with you . I have no idea how this site works, but if you would like to chat , that would be great

You can do this Lariet. And you're young too which helps. I had a bad EKG as well (low pulse, like a tennis player, but high blood pressure, not like a tennis player). And I have/had high cholestoral.

I had the heart ultrascan and luckily (I think) there was nothing wrong but a slight thickening of the heart (from being overweight) and they put my weird pulse down to genetics. I can't take beta-blockers though for my BP because that could lower my pulse further. Good to know!

I'm hoping I can fix my issues now my weight is down and I am exercising but for that I will need to wait for my next doctors' appointment which is coming up soon.

Anyway, tmi. But wanted to say I have been there and best of luck for today. I hope it all works out.

You have come to the right place for advice and understanding. I know what it is like to look at the weight loss battle from the start and think of how impossible it could be. But, you know what? Once you get started, it gets easier and easier as you go on and once you fall into a rhythm, nothing will be able to stop you.

Just like with everything, it takes practice and experience to be able to get to the end of this battle. At the moment my university study is its most stressful, so I'm slipping a little on my calories, but I know that I'll come right again in a month. I just have to hang on. You'll find that you will go through the same thing: some days will be great and you'll be perfect with your exercise and eating, and then on the odd day you will binge. I believe that it is good to have binge days because it keeps me, at least, on track. If you do have a bad day or few, don't worry about it because there is always tomorrow to keep on track. I think that once your weight starts to come down and you feel better about yourself you may find you eat less.

Losing weight is a lifestyle change, not a temporary thing. You -we all are- creating healthy habits to take us through the rest of our lives. There are heaps of dieting plans you can take a look at on this site. However, you may like to follow the same track as me and eat what you like as long as you stay within your calorie count for the day (3 meals a day with the occasional snack for a long day at university). I encourage you to download a calorie app. If you get MyFitnessPal then add me and we can do this together. Even though we are at a different weight, we are still fighting the same battle. It may take you a year or two to get to 199lbs, but you will get there and feel so good about yourself when you do!

You can do it! We all believe in you

You're all awesome! Thanks so much for the advice and encouragement! My doctor's appointment was both not bad and as expected. My EKG and ultrasound were fine, but he put me on blood pressure meds because it was a bit too high, and I have so many risk factors. He also strongly recommended I have gastric bypass. He's right - I have to do something. I'm just so confused!

Well gastric bypass is not easy, and even to qualify, you have to show you can lose weight and maintain weight loss. Honestly I'd rather go the "natural" route than have a doctor cut into me and change my digestive system permanently. But of course you have to do what works for you.

Good luck.

Have you considered a medically supervised diet? I was petrified when I heard "medically supervised" but that just means that a medical team (nurse, doc, nutritionist/dietician) monitor your bloodwork/vitals, etc. while you eat low calorie (mine was about 600-800 calories a day after factoring in exercise). It was the best thing I ever did, I wish I started it years ago.

My doctor had recommended weight loss surgery but I was petrified of it so I asked if I could try a diet first (I think my doctor thought I was too overweight to even try and diet). Needless to say, we are both pleasantly surprised! I have lost 132lbs since last July and can't even believe it.

I also depended so much on these forums; the wonderful men and women here supported me more than I could ever thank them for.

I hope you find something that works for you. I have never felt better or eaten better in my whole life and I want the same for everyone here. We deserve to be healthy!

The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet by Drs. Richard and Rachel Heller, really helped me deal with my binge eating. I was never formally diagnosised, but I am positive I would have qualified (10,000 calories a day, nearly daily!). While I am a huge fan of it, and personally I would have never succeeded without it, I don't know that MOST binge eaters will be able to maintain on it. I eventually had to add counting calories, exercise, etc., but it was a great starting point for someone (me!)who had lost ALL hope.