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Old 08-07-2014, 07:50 AM   #31  
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Canadjineh - sounds like a blast at your festival. And up 2 lbs isn't so bad considering all the fun!

Mareeree - you got some great advice from people who have been maintaining longer than I have. I started maintenance the first part of May and it has been a learning experience. I think paying attention and consistent logging is absolutely key. If we go back to just eating whatever we want, we're going to end up right back where we were. I think it does get easier as you go along, it becomes a habit to make sure you're including all your essentials first and then filling in around the edges.
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:00 AM   #32  
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Westwillow: The opposite of frantic should be serene..but serene implies too much calmness for me. I am happy but need to be actively focused and determined in maintenance. It is an active daily effort. I am sure you will reach the confident stage. The longer you maintain, the more your health will become a habbit and really a part of your life.

Mareeree: I wish you well getting back on track. I also track my food and weight and exercise. It keeps me focused. You might also consider that a 3% range for your weight is normal. That usually is 4 pounds above or below your weight. That takes the stress off of being at the exact goal weight each day.

Canadinjeh: I like your analogy of the highway. It works well and is true. There is no return to the old ways of eating. It is setting off on a new path with healthy foods, exercise and tracking as much as possible. Good luck on that family meeting and then on your visitors later. We may be having one of those meetings about my mom as well.

Ruthann: Returning to old habits will return to old results. Establishing new habits will keep the new results. That is maintenance. In the past I did return to old habits and regained my weight. I see that very clearly now. Hope your maintenance is going well this week.

I read a nice commentary on what fears you have lost by maintaining.

I no longer fear social situations and worrying what to wear so I don't look fat.
I no longer fear plane rides and fitting into those tiny seats.
I no longer fear the scale and can handle up pounds without being upset.
I no longer fear weighing in at the doctor's.
I no longer fear my clothes not fitting me anymore.

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Old 08-07-2014, 11:11 AM   #33  
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Good morning,

Mareeree, there was a great article posted by Maile on the Maintainers 14 thread about the struggle of maintenance. Try to look at your summer as a learning experience, You recognized at 5 pounds, that some things need adjusting. Time to use the IP toolbox to fix the situation.

I would say that I am in the active stage of maintenance, but not frantic. I found that daily tracking of my food increased my hyper focus and was not good for my serenity. But, I make a point of being involved in the threads every day to keep my commitment to following the protocol. I measure "risky" foods, drink my water and separate carbs and fats. I mainly eat carbs in the morning, although I have had fresh corn on the cob twice at the evening meal. I have one "free" meal each week and I do a strict Phase 1 the following day.

Maile, I love your confident maintaining. I admire that you have developed such a calm attitude in your relationship with food and weight. I agree that minimizing sugar has been the key for me so far.

Liana, I wish you a peaceful family gathering. Helping our parents deal with aging and the decisions that accompany this transition can be challenging.

Westwillow, you are doing great!

Sylviesgirl. Where are you? Hope all is well and that you are busy with fun summer activities.

Ruth Ann, in CT, we are having the opposite weather. Cooler temperatures, higher humidity but very little rain. I just brought in my first large ripe tomatoes of this season. The perennial garden bloom is way behind too. Crazy weather changes! Wishing you more temperate days ahead

Last edited by Slipfree; 08-07-2014 at 11:12 AM.
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:31 AM   #34  
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Thank you all for your kind words. I am in the "frantic" maintaining stage!! I do think my reaction to the extra pounds I see on the scale has helped me realize that I DO NOT want to gain any more weight - too many times this happens before we even realize it. I am doing 4 days of Phase 1 (which isn't easy, but I am doing it) and then I will see where I am when I weigh in next Wednesday. I already feel better - focused and in control. No more excuses!! Hope you all enjoy the weekend - I am heading to Cape Cod for the weekend and bringing everything I need to do what I have to do.
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Old 08-07-2014, 12:08 PM   #35  
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Mareeree Good for you to realize you don't want to go backwards & for grabbing the support offered! Good luck with your 4 days & your weekend away - hope it is lovely - and losing

Liana Good luck, indeed, with your upcoming meeting. Dealing with my own parents was difficult for us all, but those conversations also contained many precious gifts - I wish you some gifts in the mix.

Well, it has taken the better part of 3 days of P2 to recover from the Chinese food adventure. Humbling, as I was being careful. But P2 was not terrible & maybe it would have been faster with P1. My body seems to be eager to add at the drop of a hat, but reluctant to release - at least at the moment. But - 3 lbs up, 3 lbs down - done & dusted,as they say.

So now I can finally enjoy my first Maintenance day - yahoo!! At least I can say I planned ahead
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Old 08-07-2014, 01:43 PM   #36  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadjineh View Post
I agree with drd1961 - it's very important to follow the guidelines every day and weigh/measure your food especially at first...perhaps some of the gals who have been maintaining for a few years don't have to weigh or measure much anymore, but I bet they did for a long time. I am coming up to my 6 month anni and still log every day (except when out of electronic access on vacation) and I measure, especially with stuff I really like that it's easy for me to overdo like cheese, or brown basmati rice. I will admit that I really like vegetables and they are a huge part of my life, lol. I don't worry about measuring the veggies, since it's likely not the extra cup of cauliflower during the day that causes the gain.... Hopefully you will be in that place as well, because it's the only way to make this maintenance plan work. You cannot do a 'planned cheat' of stuff you know is bad for you (although a favorite from the 'old days') - thinking it's just a teeny bit today and then it becomes several days in a row, because... you know, you made it to maintenance, so you 'deserve' a treat. If your tastes haven't changed somewhat at least keep it to the one day a week or even just one meal a week and you must do a strict P1 type day after it.

Yes, maintenance can be difficult! For a bit more helpful information I would go to the beginning pages (1st 6 or so) of the Maintainers What Are You Eating thread. Lots has to do with your height (shorter persons will need to take in fewer carbs & calories) and your exercise plan - a must in maintenance. I've been re-reading that thread and am finding it very useful still.

Liana
I'm starting to research about maintenance since I have less than 25 lbs to go to get to my goal weight. Your suggestion about reading Maintainers What Are You Eating thread is fantastic. Thanks. I'll start at page 1 and work my way through. I want to be ready with menus and a work out plan when I get there. And I will get there!

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Old 08-08-2014, 09:10 AM   #37  
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Catlady. That is wise of you to plan ahead for maintenance and to read the menus for ideas! This will help you be successful.

Westwillow: Great job of hanging in there for three days and working off that Chinese food. There are times when up pounds go down quickly and others where you need to keep working it off. Enjoy your first day of maintenance and planning is the key.

Mareeree: I have felt that panic where you worry that up pounds will mean you have gained all of it back. That is why I like IP and P1. Yes, it is very hard to return to P1, but it works. Have fun in Cape Cod.

Slipfree: I have been forgetting to tell you that I like your "Now residing in onderland for the rest of my life." That is my goal also. You seem to have found what works for you. I also measure risky food such as nuts.
I think I have finally found peace with food..instead of the off and on feeling accompanied by guilt. Now I do not feel guilty when I eat foods, but enjoy them.

Off for walk. Happy with the scale this am!
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Old 08-08-2014, 12:37 PM   #38  
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Sometimes there are little blessings: after my first (luscious) Maintenance day yesterday, I hopped on the scales this morning & found another pound had vanished in the night. Maybe it was the run/walk yesterday morning - ? At any rate, blessings do happen, I am happy to accept & now off to do a walk as well, Maile.

Since I can be a creature of habit sometimes, I am going to repeat my food plan from yesterday, with a few changes, then experiment with another menu for Sat. Building some 'automatic pilot' fall-back meals, until the rhythm becomes more familiar
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Old 08-08-2014, 07:25 PM   #39  
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Hello maintainers. I continue to read and enjoy all that is posted here and it gives me a good boost in the right direction. I had a weekend of fun and exercise but had some up lbs so am working at getting them off. The scale is coming down again so am happy to see. Some of it is definately water retention with the very warm weather we are having and biking and hiking and kayaking! My muscles got worked but it felt great! I continue to love eating my protein and vegies the best with some healthy carbs too. I always feel the best eating that way. Enjoy your day and weekend everyone!
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Old 08-10-2014, 12:07 PM   #40  
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Hello friends,

What are some of the snacks that you eat on maintenance? Currently, I am relying on bars and nuts for snacks. I feel the need to switch things up, looking for ideas. School is starting in two weeks and access during the day to a refrigerator is limited.

Maile, I lived in Twoderville for about ten years, when I reached Onederland I made a pledge to never go back. Putting the positive intention in the signature reminds me to keep working.

School starts in two weeks here, with a lot to get done in between. I think maintenance will be easier with the structure of work and less eating out, but working requires more planning for food. Cooler weather soon will lend itself to soups and crockpot meals.

Mareeree, how are you doing?
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Old 08-10-2014, 02:17 PM   #41  
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Slipfree, I am starting in two weeks also and can feel the pressure mounting. I do not have any great snack ideas as I love my nuts. You could try pb on celery or string cheese. We can support each other in onederland. I remember how happy I was to see that again.
Hawaii69: I love all of your activities. You sound like you are enjoying maintenance with low carb veges and protein. I have been enjoying the extra time in my days to get more exercise in. This will come to a halt in two weeks and I am going to have to figure out how to work more time in.

Westwillow: In Refuse to Regain, she comments that the most successful maintainers often eat the same thing over and over again. I do repeat many of my meals! You are doing well being a pound down after a fun day.

Here is an interesting article on addiction to approval and weight, not written by me.


Looking at comments on yesterday's blog, it was striking to me how many women said that their own addiction to the approval of others diminished very significantly as they got older, and that only with age have they been able to focus on weight loss and weight loss maintenance!

Here's my comment in response to XXXX.

"Totally agree that most of us women only shed addiction to the approval of others with age . . . but why is that, when guys seem so much less afflicted from a younger age? And why are women so much more likely than men to struggle with weight: any connection? And how can women be encouraged to resist the approval addiction earlier??

Inquiring minds want to know!!!"

And of course if addiction to the approval of others, with all its linkage to weight gain, is something that women can and do seem to shed with age, that got me thinking again about that ol' Susie Orbach meme, "Fat is a Feminist Issue."

So what are the numbers? Any evidence that age is linked to weight loss for women? Thanks to our At Goal and Maintaining: Transition to Maintenance stats and graphs guru 4A-HEALTHY-BMI, we've got some pretty interesting research available!!

https://docs.google.com/
document/d/1AkUBsUACT7rZ5G
sdF7jT9YcD1Xa80VFGiJ5JeUkur8A/pub

Overwhelmingly here at Spark it's women who are the successful maintainers: 82%. Only 5.7% are men. (Yup, doesn't add to 100%: there's a gap there of "unidentified"!) And, I suspect, that sizeable gender gap is probably related to the impression I have that there are simply way fewer male Spark People members in the first place.

Why would that be? I'm speculating, but it appears that by and large fewer men than women struggle with obesity. That might be because fewer men get heavy (at least from comfort eating) or because weight loss tends to be easier for men, or because fewer men are treated with ostracism and disdain if they do get heavy, so they feel less compulsion to lose weight and have less need of the Spark People support community. (Why would that be? Well for one thing, obesity seems to have fewer economic consequences in the workplace for men than women, and fewer social consequences as well. More speculation about this below.)

If we look at maintainers by decade, reminding ourselves that 82% of all maintainers are women, we see that only 4.1% are in their 20s and 7.5% in their 30s. Almost 46% of successful maintainers are in their 50s, 60s and 70s. And that's, I suspect, because women in their 20s and 30s are still much more addicted to the approval of others. And once over 50, less so.

So: what compels younger women to be so much more afflicted by external approval -- that insidious dependence upon external approval that leads to comfort eating?

Possibly because we have to be. My theory about that: there is still a huge residual element of economic reality affecting women disproportionately to men.

Even though it's now the case that more women than men graduate from college and university, women still earn about 78 cents for every $1 a man makes with comparable education and responsibility.

But women and only women still get pregnant and give birth and lactate and provide the majority of child care for infants, which inevitably affects women's career paths. The cost of competent daycare is astronomical, especially for infants and preschoolers. Few women can afford daycare on their salaries alone; they need their husbands' contributions financially.

And all of this has to meant that younger women are still much more economically vulnerable than men, in part because women's standard of living would drop so dramatically, not just for themselves but for their children too, if they were to split from their spouses while their children are young.

Addiction to the approval of others? Even if they are not consciously aware of it, it seems to me that younger women are much more economically pressured than men. The result? They HAVE to be much more sensitively attuned to sustaining the approval of their employers, their spouses, and even their family and friends.

Women are time crunched between the demands of home and work. They are spending pretty much any surplus money they can find (after daycare) on soccer and dance lessons and trips to Disney World for their kids. Junk food is cheap. And comfort eating may be the only affordable indulgence that is readily available to women in the intensive mothering years. Even though junk food results in weight gain that plunges many younger women into total and frantic despair . . . given the ridiculous and relentless social requirements to look like a Yummy Mummy and sustain dating level "hotness" to hold onto those (economically and socially necessary) husbands and . . . all of that.

Then we get older. We earn more money. We become more secure in our careers. Our children require less constant care and less expensive daycare. Or if we are not working outside the home, we become more aware of the protections of contemporary divorce laws in most jurisdictions which do provide for spousal support and child support and sharing of family property upon marriage breakdown. [In my divorce work, I can't help but notice the very high per centage of splits initiated by women . . . ]

Now we are much better positioned to shed the addiction to the approval of others. Because we are economically less vulnerable. Because we can.

Now we can shed the comfort eating. Now we can shed the pounds. Now we can maintain weight loss.

Complicated, isn't it? And of course marriage and children comprises by no means the only set of factors in play affecting mostly women.

There are lots more.

Including demands primarily imposed upon women to provide elder care, often while the children's issues are still compelling and overwhelming.

And the very high incidence of female sexual molestation and assault. Which too often encourages women (if implicitly or explicitly blamed, as if it could be their own attractiveness causes such criminal behaviours) to self protect with excess weight.

And within the workplace, for those few women who might actually achieve leadership roles, the withholding of approval should their leadership style occasionally be commanding or directive. Rather than nurturing and tentative and requesting. As is appropriate for women. In a manner not required of men. Which takes more time. And may be less effective when urgent action is required.

All of which (plus myriad other factors) can and do trigger crises for women with respect to the approval of others, and comfort eating, and obesity, and the social ostracism attached primarily to women of size.

Because so long as women are socialized to submit to the tyranny of the approval of others, we'll keep right on providing those submissive services.

It's much riskier for women to assert themselves. To say no. Firmly. Unpleasantly, if necessary. To make time to plan meals that are in accordance with our own nutritional needs. To make time for exercise for ourselves.

It's easier to continue focusing all our energies on sustaining the approval of others. For prolonged periods of women's lives, it may even be necessary to focus on the approval of others.

Siebold was right: addiction to the approval of others is the toughest addiction of all. And addiction to the approval of others is closely linked to weight issues for many of us, particularly women.

It takes huge mental toughness to break the addiction to the approval of others . . . and eternal vigilance to prevent its recurrence!!

[If you may be wondering about this reference to mental toughness and Siebold, check out Steve Siebold's free 21 day program, www.fatlosers.com . You'll either love it or you'll hate it . . . pretty much guaranteed!]



**Here is my comment. I admire you younger women here so much who are maintaining. When I raised my kids, I ignored my health and focused on pleasing others.
I also think that males do have obesity problems, just as much as women..however, they do not like to join health groups and talk about emotions..as much. That is why they are not in the maintainers' stats.

The economic issue of women being underpaid still continues despite the improvement over the years.
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Old 08-10-2014, 05:58 PM   #42  
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Starting Maintenance tomorrow, which is exciting but feels scary too - I do not want to go backwards. It is so helpful to read the comments on this thread. Maile, your words about being "actively focused and determined," is the mental balance I am going to aim for on this next step of my journey.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:02 AM   #43  
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Slipfree: 'twoderville' just made me laugh! For snacks I like a mini stick of turkey pepperoni, or a little tub of greek yogourt 0% or a hb egg (kept in its shell) with a bit of interesting spice on it like harissa or a steak spice. These are all fine without refrigeration for the day. I also like hummus with cucumber slices or celery sticks to dip in it - but that may be too many carbs for your plan?

Great quote Maile, very interesting... I'm not sure what my action plan would have been as a younger woman if I had been heavier then. I never gained until I got sick in my mid 40's. Makes me wonder.

Liana
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:18 AM   #44  
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Liana, my clinic says that hummus is a free day food because of the fat/carb combo. Not sure how I feel about hummus yet. I ate so many hard boiled eggs during Phase 1 that they are currently out of my food rotation,lol!

Maile, I wonder about the role of hormones in our approval seeking behavior. I noticed that when my mom went through menopause, she became much more vocal and much less concerned with outside opinions and approval. I find myself heading in that direction myself lately.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:26 AM   #45  
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Liana, my clinic says that hummus is a free day food because of the fat/carb combo. Not sure how I feel about hummus yet. I ate so many hard boiled eggs during Phase 1 that they are currently out of my food rotation,lol!
I get you about the hb eggs, every once in a while I feel like a whole lot of them, then another week and I don't want to see an egg at all, all week. I don't worry about the fat/carb combo in a particular portion of a snack or meal... just the totals for the complete snack or meal. In my case, I would use baby carrots because they are higher in carb and would help balance higher carbs against the fats in the hummus, but if you need to stay at a lower carb total you could still use the cuke, broccoli, cauli, or celery and be in a lower carb total while still having a 1:3+ ratio of fats to carbs. Casbah has a great boxed powdered hummus mix you just add cold water and more lemon juice to and it is only 2.5g fat and 7g net carb per 2 tbsp. It tastes pretty good and you can add roasted garlic or dried sweet red pepper or other spices to it to jazz it up. It's also cheaper than the premixed stuff. I take it camping and it's great!

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