Kooky: funny, I feel the same way. Before, I was a problem solver, come up with a solution and get it done. Usually causing myself more hassle and responsibility and the other people less work. Now, I am much better at setting my boundaries, I do not need to please as many people and I actually let people know when I am not happy or ticked. That is big! I love that we are growing emotionally. I think we had to come up with other ways of handling things because we no longer had food as our emotional bandaid. Not sure that other people in my life are as happy because they have to do their own work but I can live with it
Slipfree- I'm glad you're experiencing this too. I agree that it is a positive consequence of not being able to turn to food anymore. We have to either confront problems/say "no" to people or we will feel the discomfort, anger, and anxiety that used to lead us to overeat. I allow myself to feel anger and deal with it without food.
I think I was always so scared of my anger and would eat/binge when angry. Why should I punish myself for other people being insensitive, hurtful, or rude?! Now I just deal with the person appropriately, write them off, purge them from my life, or keep interactions to a minimum (ie the now ex-coworker who fat shamed my former body). There was a going away party for him and I said I had other plans even though multiple people asked me if I was going.
I too have noticed that some people don't seem to enjoy the new, more assertive me as much (because they don't like to hear "no" or that I was disappointed in something they did), but that has helped me see better friends and allies. Being a more confident, happy person has also drawn more positive people towards me, and my good friends are proud of my progress, both on the inside and out. I'm more drawn to those who are strong and upbeat than in the past. I also have learned to give less to friends who give less than I do.
I was fascinated reading the above comments about how personal behavior has changed along with the weight loss.
If I were brutally honest, I think the increased confidence with the weight loss means I do not try to hard to be liked - when I was so much heavier, I was always looking for acceptance and trying to please people, to be a perfect employee, friend, etc. Desperate for positive attention that I was not getting because of my size?
Painful to think that I maybe spent so many years that way when I could have felt more freedom to be the "real" me!
I was fascinated reading the above comments about how personal behavior has changed along with the weight loss.
If I were brutally honest, I think the increased confidence with the weight loss means I do not try to hard to be liked - when I was so much heavier, I was always looking for acceptance and trying to please people, to be a perfect employee, friend, etc. Desperate for positive attention that I was not getting because of my size?
Painful to think that I maybe spent so many years that way when I could have felt more freedom to be the "real" me!
I feel your pain, but at least we're giving ourselves second chances to be who we're meant to be, whether others like it or not. .
You all are amazing women. Bravo to each and every one of you for your discoveries of self. I'm forever going to be a work in progress, but I'm ok with that Learning to stand on my own two feet is scary and exciting! Wish me luck. Flying on Monday, for the first time since 1989. Worried I'm going to need a seatbelt extender, or that the person that sits next to me is going to be upset about "the fat chick", but then I realize, I don't need to think these things.. what's going to be is going to be.. and it's not like I'll ever see these people again! So who am I to ruin the adventure and experience for myself? I'm going to learn to love traveling..
You all are amazing women. Bravo to each and every one of you for your discoveries of self. I'm forever going to be a work in progress, but I'm ok with that Learning to stand on my own two feet is scary and exciting! Wish me luck. Flying on Monday, for the first time since 1989. Worried I'm going to need a seatbelt extender, or that the person that sits next to me is going to be upset about "the fat chick", but then I realize, I don't need to think these things.. what's going to be is going to be.. and it's not like I'll ever see these people again! So who am I to ruin the adventure and experience for myself? I'm going to learn to love traveling..
Good attitude!!! Be proud of who you are and how far you've come!!!
Kawaii, so glad that you are still going on your trip! Who cares if you need a seatbelt extender, next time- you won't! Travel is a wonderful adventure, enjoy.
I have worked until I have exhausted my body. Going to be sore tomorrow. Got a lot planted and I grocery shopped. Washing the side of the house will have to wait another day. Feeling satisfied Now, to rustle up something for dinner.
Hope you are having a great weekend. Awake very early on a Sunday! Why?!! Still have a lot to get done, so I guess it was weighing on my mind. Mom is coming to see the garden this afternoon. The weather is going to be beautiful today.
7.5 days of school left! 6 days until IP graduation! And 12 days until vacation
Slip: You are a planting machine! Wow! I bet it looks amazing.
Kawaii: Recently I have been telling people that I am a "work in progress" too. I just feel like I am working on my body and if I want to keep the weight off I am AWAYS going to be watching what I eat, tweaking food items and always working to keep me in line. So a work in progress definitely fits.
DH and I have been golfing quite a bit this weekend, so I have been getting lots of walking in, which feels amazing. In other years I have always rode in cart with DH, this year I decided that he can ride, I will walk. Who cares what he does, it shouldn't effect what I do. LOL
Good morning, so happy, scale is back down to 161!
I am having some anxiety about going on vacation within a week of phasing off. Had a food planning/menu meeting with my Mom. Breakfast are fine, but dinners are a whole different story. We shall see. My coach said to chill and just have fun, without making it all about food. It is just that I know how hard it is to get the weight off. I do not want to gain. I know that I can get it back off using Phase 1 but it is a mind adjustment. Deep breaths...
Schenectady: "What kind of diet is this and what has it done with the old me?" made me laugh. Did you tell yourself this diet is awesome and you have the new you to prove it!!!
Slip: I think vacations are always going to be scary for us, but we all have to learn how to go on them and make the right choices. You have changed so much since Oct., you have given yourself the tools to make the right choices, and you are pre-planning some of your meals, trust in yourself. You will do great!! Where are you going?
I bit tired today, not sure if it is from the golfing(not used to that yet) or not enough to eat yesterday. Went golfing yesterday and didn't get home until 3pm, didn't have lunch. Quickly made a salad to take to a BBQ. At the BBQ there wasn't a lot of food that I could eat so I was lacking in protein and veggies. Didn't eat anything I shouldn't have, stayed away from the desserts and fruit, a pretty successful BBQ in my opinion! Funny how 9 months ago I would have been focused on the carb rich foods that I love and would have eaten way too much. Now I am not eating enough because they don't have any carb free options! Makes me think about how much I have changed.
Slip: Don't stress about your vacation, you will do fine. I phased off for one in January and was so pleased with pretty much staying the same when I got home. I was gone a week. I didn't go crazy, drank my water, walked lots but I also enjoyed myself. I tried different foods, had a few drinks but I honestly didn't have any desire to eat too much. And the sugary foods tasted different, not as good as I remembered. I brought some healthy snacks from my IP food that my coach suggested would help. It did!
Thanks friends. I feel better and less anxious about it at the moment. It is funny, as I near Phase 4 and the end of school, I feel the need to organize and finish projects. I think it is my way of reassuring myself that I have control.
Being on IP has taken so much focus and energy. I have been reading the old maintainers thread, I have found it very helpful. Makes me wonder what happened to the people. In order to not regain, I know that this is going to take work for the rest of my days. My goal for the summer is to increase my fitness.
Hawaii, thanks for being an inspiring maintainer!
Want2b, I am tired after the weekend too. You did a ton of walking and golfed, that explains your fatigue alone. I have been in the no OP food available situation too. Even going in with a plan can backfire. Way to go resisting all the carb foods at the BBQ. I have found that I do not even focus on food in social situations- I just do not spend any time looking at the food. See no food, eat no food, lol.
So in reading the old maintenance thread, I found this:
Maintenance - the tricky side of transition
The dictionary definition of the word maintenance is 'administered to maintain a desired condition'.
When we set ourselves weight loss goals, no matter how much or how little we have to lose, we have to become fiercely focused on those goals. Losing weight is about lifestyle change, not simply addressing one aspect such as diet and hoping that will work. You have to change your whole thinking about food,, exercise and the commitment to make the changes that will carry you through life a healthier person. It is something palpable to concentrate on and we strive to achieve that ultimate aim, watching those numbers tumble on the scale. Each pound that goes is a mini victory, how often have you felt that delicious sensation of gratification and achievement when you have had a good week and your mass diminishes further?
Maintaining
So what happens when you get there, that thing we refer to as goal. After all that hard work; calorie counting, exercise regimes, tears, self deprication at being fat in the first place. It stops. It's as if you have been in a speeding car for hundreds of miles and you apply the brakes, grinding to a halt. The target has been reached. For some, this can be daunting as you have to review how your are managing the process. There are no more visual targets, of course it is wise to keep an eye on your weight as you start maintenance ( and there on in) but those little kicks and wins you had are no more. Of course you have conceded a trouncing from the silent enemy that is obesity, you have reached a healthy weight and are no longer suffering the mental and physical tortures being fat presents. That is massive reward in itself.
It becomes about weight preservation rather than weight loss per se.
And so the journey begins
Can not give credit to the original poster, but it pretty much sums up what I have been thinking.
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