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Old 04-12-2014, 10:53 AM   #76  
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I didn't know that you weren't allowed to have conversations that changed over the course of a thread. I'm sorry I even posted. I am beginning to think it's better to just leave and have nothing more to do with the board. I came here looking for info, and someone to talk to. I've been on other boards before and there was never so much strictness with regards to the conversations that are involved, as long as it doesn't go against rules, with regards to defamation, legal issues, etc. Personally, if I seen a thread went off the lines as to the original post, I have the option to not post on or follow the thread, or just ignore it and keep my mouth shut! There are a lot of conversations that I seen that was of no interest to me, so I didn't post or give my opinion. A conversation thread can evolve. It's not like anyone is passing out medical advice here. But if that's the way some of you want it, so be it. Guess it works for you! If some of you think you don't demonize or make some feel less than, for not having the same opinion as you, you are wrong. Don't blame someone else for being offended, or whatever you call it, because you can't post in a way that appears helpful, rather than posting as if you are talking to a child that knows nothing. I'm sorry, but I am offended by some of these posts here. Guess I'll go look elsewhere for advice and support!
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Old 04-12-2014, 10:59 AM   #77  
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I also never said I was worried about the slowdown. I said I was a little discouraged and didn't know if it was normal. That is all I asked. A nice person here messaged me and told me that it was normal, and that most everyone goes through it at some point or another. Thank you to that person. If only everyone was so helpful in a non-condescending way. Another member PM'd me and told me about the 90% thread. Thank you! I wasn't aware of that thread. Wish I had asked there instead of the main area. Hopefully the 90% are more accepting of peoples opinions, and open to meaningful conversation.
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Old 04-12-2014, 11:34 AM   #78  
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I agree with you. Word choices with religious overtones such as "clean" eating with regard to protocol have become all too common on this forum. Some people are apparently threatened by merely reading of others' way of doing IP. Circle the wagons! Other sinners feel free to friend me at MyFitnessPal username mars735.

Last edited by mars735; 04-12-2014 at 12:00 PM.
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:47 PM   #79  
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Spot on drd!

kdspirited - drd is one of the most helpful and supportive posters we have. I've never seen her be judgmental or condescending but rather very straightforward and honest - with others and herself.

The problem with a forum such as this is you cannot read tone in the words. It's always best to just assume that the poster giving advice has good intentions and is trying to help until proven otherwise.
I dont disagree that people offer help on this forum. But offering help with the expectation that people will follow it. And if someone doesn't it offends them because they expect the other person to respond right away. There are a lot of people on this forum who offer help without being judgmental. You are also correct Ruth Ann. It is all about the choice of words. The way you choose them conveys your message plenty. It has nothing to do with tone.

I feel if you are easily offended by choices people make while being on this diet then you shouldn't be offering advise. There are a lot of people who may or may not choose to follow it and that is OK. The consequences are on them
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:51 PM   #80  
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Yes, and people offer help and when everything offered is rejected? That is the problem I see sometimes.

Again, what I said is NOT demonizing or judgmental but matter of fact. It is taking responsibility for ones actions. What you do has consequences. I actually like bear's little blurb about two different type of people because it explains how one person can bend the rules a bit and be ok and another person bends the rules and it ruins things. That is why it is helpful to have the two threads, 90% and 100% and a person has to examine themselves and determine where they belong and also after a time examine what they are doing and be honest with themselves about if it is working and be WILLING to change if it is not. This diet is very much about changing and if a person cannot change what they are doing that made them fat, they will not succeed. This is not preachy, condescending, but what we all should be looking at. If I, you, anyone does not change, and continue to monitor that change and work at keeping this change, I, you, anyone will continue to be fat. A little honesty with ourselves is needed.
DRD that is exactly it if you are offering help with the intention that people will follow it verbatim and if they don't it easily offends you. Then I think your expectation are too high. I don't think people will conform to how you expect them to behave. They will do what they choose and you can choose to be here to help without expectations or not.
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Old 04-12-2014, 12:53 PM   #81  
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Just to make DRD feel better I am following the advise I was given here to the T.

Just saying I added my packet water boarding myself to death, measuring my veggies and keeping my fingers crossed
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Old 04-12-2014, 01:09 PM   #82  
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I am not offended if my advise isn't taken. No big deal. You folks were the one who took offense when I asked that people take ownership and accept consequences. I am honestly the least pretentious person in the world. Things really do roll of my shoulders and there is so many many things in life that are much harder to deal with then this forum. I guess my problem is honesty and I should just not say anything because it seems to come off much harsher than I mean. If someone tells me to accept the conseequences of my actions, I say OK I will. I thought it was a good thing to say, but it seems it is not.

Anyway, I am on the road(hubbies turn to drive) and it is a beautiful day. I hope everyone can enjoy this weekend like I am.
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