Location: Frederick Colorado (about 20 miles north of Denver)
Posts: 417
S/C/G: 265/see ticker/145
Height: 5'5"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valentine2u
Hi everyone. Started IP on Jan 1. I've had a terrible headache for the past two days but reading the posts I guess this is a good sign! I'm excited but a bit anxious as well. I have 95 pounds to lose which seems a bit daunting. I am thrilled to be able to be part of your community because I know that the support and encouragement is going to be critical to my success. Thanks for having me .
Make sure you are getting your salt. That will help the headache. Previous posts say to put some in your hand and lick it and then headache will go away within 15 min.
Don't let the amount that you have to lose be daunting. I started this diet with over 100 lbs to lose and I am over 1/2 way there. Just follow the plan and it will work.
I am finally becoming someone that does not jump when people tell me to jump. Usually when my mother comes to town the time frame is set for me to see her around what my sister's schedule is and I usually just rearrange my families schedule to see my mother. In the past however the plans we make with her tend to be cancelled by her. So she called me and wanted to set up a time to see her and we set up Tuesday New Years Eve and had lunch plans. My daughter took work off and so did I and she cancelled, nothing new to us. Although my daughter was upset and crying I told her she will not ruin our day. Then my mother asked if we could do dinner on Thursday and I told her it would be around 7 due to me going to gym and my husband working until 6-630 and she texted and asked if we could go earlier and I told her this is the time that works for us thats what happens when your working around work schedules. She told me I was being silly and cancelled plans with us. Then I told her I would not dissapoint my children and she would have to tell them and she did. My kids were dissapointed again, and then she texted me and asked if I wanted to do lunch on Friday (today) and I told her my schedule for the day and I said we'll see. Then she called me at 8am this morning and wanted to know my plans and I said that I'm not going to do this anymore she has cancelled on us 2 x's now and she will not hurt me or my children anymore. I told her I'm not discussing this anymore due to her wanting me to get angry on the phone and start fighting that is what usually happens. Then I'm the bad guy and the disrespectful one. I'm not that person anymore.
Then she texted me and told me that I hurt her and I said that I'm not going to let her hurt my children and I anymore. I went to the gym and ate a good lunch and I have to be ok. I'm not going to be treated like a piece of trash anymore.
Her mother treated her badly and my dad would tell her to leave my mother alone and not call our hourse when I was growing up. I feel she thinks she can treat me the same way and I will not let that happen anymore.
I was going to go see her due to a family wedding in October but oh well we will see what happens. She flies home today and hopefully she won't come back now for a long time. I know this seems harsh but she just dissapoints my children and me and makes promises and doesn't keep them. I am saying enough is enough.
Finale- Your situation is very hard. It is difficult to separate or extricate ourselves from hurtful situations when there is a feeling of obligation. As we become adult, it is incumbent upon us to figure it out and it can take a while. Sometimes the bad behavior is learned and as you suggested your mother may have been imprinted by the bad treatment from her own mother. Good for you, for recognizing this and breaking the cycle. You and your own daughter (children's) relationships are really the important thing going forward. I suggest, you can and should continue to give your mother several options...but make sure YOU control your own calendar for now. When she is "unable " to take advantage of anything you have open...be sure and tell her how sorry you are that she won't get to see her grandchildren this trip...they are growing and turning into neat young people..(!!!) ....and you would LOVE to share that with her ...but "understand" her commitments and hope she understands yours. Do not feel guilty.
You need to break the cycle as I said, by making your children know you will always have them first....then plan something wonderful with your kids for that time slot and don't look back. Share a picture or two with your mom...let her know what her choices have cost HER...but if she doesn't respond...keep to the high road...send pictures and notes with what is going on in your life and with your kids.....just don't entertain her mind games. Ignore sharp remarks or attempts to get you to respond emotionally. She will hopefully want to join your party when she realizes you and your kids are having a ball...not crying because she jerked you around. She needs to know how much she is missing by her behavior. Actually not exposing your kids to that is a responsible thing to do.
finale - I also have a tough relationship with my mom and my oldest sister. Goes back years and years, when I finally stood up to my sister and didn't take her bossing me around anymore. I've had issues with my mom for a while, too. To make it even better, my sister and mom are super, super close. I went a year with only speaking to my mom once or twice. It was hard. I finally realized that she was never going to change, I had to change how I reacted to it. I read the book "Irregular People" and it completely changed the way I look at the relationship with my mom. I also read "Total Forgiveness". So much help! I needed to forgive my mom for all the issues in the past and then leave them in the past. Even though she didn't ask for my forgiveness, this was between God and me.
I highly doubt I'll ever have a close relationship with my mom or sister again. My sister and I were like best friends for years...until I realized how much she was using me. (Can you say free day-care for 4 years?) and my mom and I used to be much closer before the fall-out with my sister.
All this to say, take care of YOU and your family. Protect your kids from hurt. (Been there too many times...can so relate.) But forgive them and learn how to react differently to them and that'll help, too. Christmas for me this year was much better being all together. I was able to sort of "laugh off" some of their comments.
Debbie, Welcome! The headache is normal, and mine lasted a couple of weeks. I promise that it will go away. You and I started with similar statistics, height and weight. I started IP on October 2nd, I am now at 195. The program works, if you work it. I have found that information and planning are the keys to success. Being creative with packets and veggies too. The recipe threads are really helpful.
Just focus on each day, and you will be at your goal in no time at all.
Debbie, Welcome! The headache is normal, and mine lasted a couple of weeks. I promise that it will go away. You and I started with similar statistics, height and weight. I started IP on October 2nd, I am now at 195. The program works, if you work it. I have found that information and planning are the keys to success. Being creative with packets and veggies too. The recipe threads are really helpful.
Just focus on each day, and you will be at your goal in no time at all.
Thanks so much Slipfree! That is truly encouraging. I will tag along in your footsteps.
Hi everyone. Started IP on Jan 1. I've had a terrible headache for the past two days but reading the posts I guess this is a good sign! I'm excited but a bit anxious as well. I have 95 pounds to lose which seems a bit daunting. I am thrilled to be able to be part of your community because I know that the support and encouragement is going to be critical to my success. Thanks for having me .
Hi Valentine and WELCOME!!!!
Don't worry about how much you have to loose. I started on August 27th with 95lbs to loose. Four months later I've lost 50 of that and am 10lbs away from no longer being considered "Obese". At this point you should just follow phase one and try to figure out which IP foods you like. The euphoria of weighing in each week and watching the numbers go down will keep you motivated. By Easter you'll be amazed at how far you will have come. Try to join the 25 by Spring Challenge, these small challenges are a great help to break the monotony and to keep you motivated when you get the diet doldrums.
Debbie, welcome. I too want to loose close to 100 lbs. I didn't look at it as whole but rather 10 sets of 10 lbs. I made rewards (manicure, pedicure, new jewelery, etc) and it's been a blast! I'm 4 months in and over halfway! I just looked back at a photo album from last Jan and was SHOCKED at my pictures. I actually thought they were good pictures of me. I'm almost tempted to take them off Facebook but it was a huge family event and I know that my family members enjoy having access to them. But boy, was it shocking. It sure is keeping me going! Welcome and good luck on your journey!
Make sure you are getting your salt. That will help the headache. Previous posts say to put some in your hand and lick it and then headache will go away within 15 min.
Don't let the amount that you have to lose be daunting. I started this diet with over 100 lbs to lose and I am over 1/2 way there. Just follow the plan and it will work.
Thanks for the tip! Question about the salt. How much is too much? I do not normally add salt to my food, not because I don't like it, but usually I just don't think about it. I don't use anything but sea salt.
Don't worry about how much you have to loose. I started on August 27th with 95lbs to loose. Four months later I've lost 50 of that and am 10lbs away from no longer being considered "Obese". At this point you should just follow phase one and try to figure out which IP foods you like. The euphoria of weighing in each week and watching the numbers go down will keep you motivated. By Easter you'll be amazed at how far you will have come. Try to join the 25 by Spring Challenge, these small challenges are a great help to break the monotony and to keep you motivated when you get the diet doldrums.
Happy New Year and Congrats for starting!!!
That is so encouraging. I will see if I can find the Spring Challenge, that sounds perfect for me. I'm still trying to learn how to navigate around the site but I will figure it out before long.
Debbie, welcome. I too want to loose close to 100 lbs. I didn't look at it as whole but rather 10 sets of 10 lbs. I made rewards (manicure, pedicure, new jewelery, etc) and it's been a blast! I'm 4 months in and over halfway! I just looked back at a photo album from last Jan and was SHOCKED at my pictures. I actually thought they were good pictures of me. I'm almost tempted to take them off Facebook but it was a huge family event and I know that my family members enjoy having access to them. But boy, was it shocking. It sure is keeping me going! Welcome and good luck on your journey!
Thanks Em, that is truly inspirational! Breaking it down into 10 pound increments is a great idea and I love the reward system. Do your feet shrink as you lose weight? Because I would love to have ten new, really expensive pairs of heels in my closet!!!
Random recipe question: has anyone made the faux baked "apples" (zucchini) and not used the lemon juice? Used water or something else?
They are good but sour and I don't want to over do on Splenda/divinci to make them "work". But also don't know if the lemon is crucial somehow.
Thoughts? Thanks!
Hi everyone. Started IP on Jan 1. I've had a terrible headache for the past two days but reading the posts I guess this is a good sign! I'm excited but a bit anxious as well. I have 95 pounds to lose which seems a bit daunting. I am thrilled to be able to be part of your community because I know that the support and encouragement is going to be critical to my success. Thanks for having me .
Welcome girl!
Look at my stats and those of my fellow 100%ers. Stick with that thread. They won't steer you wrong. It's how I stayed on track through every major holiday from Aug 2012-July 2013.
I'm back after a stall to lose the last 12 & get into normal BMI.
Break it into small steps and plan rewards for getting to each one. I did massages, mani/pedi, a wii fit, and more pampering. Be sure to utilize resale shops when replacing clothes until you get to goal. Going down sizes gets expensive!
Here is the spring challenge thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/idea...challenge.html
BRRRRRRRRRR. 7 degrees today, don't know what it is with the wind chill. It is supposed to be -13 on monday and who knows what it will be with the wind chill. we only got about 10 inches of snow, thank heavens.
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