Okay Today is WI#5... I am hoping for 3 or more pounds given away... I have been a very naughty girl... Since starting IP on 10/10/13 I have eaten Blue Cheese salad dressing about 12 times, I have eaten a protein option at lunch and then gone home and eaten my regular dinner, I have eaten aged white cheddar (about an ounce three times a week), I have used tofutti better than cream cheese mixed with WF rasp jelly on a chocolate mug cake, I have used it on pancakes...
I am confessing to these sins because I feel like they are holding me back. Maybe if I stop hiding these poor choices I can overcome them. I used to hide when eating because I didn't want to be seen eating, I thought everyone was staring at me thinking "Oh my god, she is so fat, why is she eating?" Its a ridiculous notion, considering most people are way too self absorbed or even just not very observant to be looking at another person.. But it was a fear that followed me through my adolescence into my early adulthood.
Its time for me to stop justifying my small deviations from the program. Has anyone else been cheating themselves with the small things?
Okay Today is WI#5... I am hoping for 3 or more pounds given away... I have been a very naughty girl... Since starting IP on 10/10/13 I have eaten Blue Cheese salad dressing about 12 times, I have eaten a protein option at lunch and then gone home and eaten my regular dinner, I have eaten aged white cheddar (about an ounce three times a week), I have used tofutti better than cream cheese mixed with WF rasp jelly on a chocolate mug cake, I have used it on pancakes...
I am confessing to these sins because I feel like they are holding me back. Maybe if I stop hiding these poor choices I can overcome them. I used to hide when eating because I didn't want to be seen eating, I thought everyone was staring at me thinking "Oh my god, she is so fat, why is she eating?" Its a ridiculous notion, considering most people are way too self absorbed or even just not very observant to be looking at another person.. But it was a fear that followed me through my adolescence into my early adulthood.
Its time for me to stop justifying my small deviations from the program. Has anyone else been cheating themselves with the small things?
Well done for coming clean with what you have been eating. But remember not to beat yourself up over the small things. Control what you can control and let the rest take care of itself. I think this has been the biggest learning lesson for me the past month (I started IP on 10/9/13). I really, really watch what I am eating when I am at home and can control things. There are times I've made two separate meals (one for me, one for the rest of the family) just so I can stay in control. But this past weekend, I had that control taken away from me at a party. There was nothing I could do...I didn't make the dinner and I HAD to eat. I decided that I was going to be ok. I could do this. I was able to eat very small amounts of the food on offer (none OP) and not beat myself up over it. In the past, I'd completely derail. I'd eat and drink leading up to the event (why not? I'm going to blow it anyway, might as well blow it big time!), then eat everything in sight at the party. This time, I didn't do that. I maintained control. In my eyes, it was a success. After all....I won't be OP forever. There will be a time when I can eat "real" food again. I need to know that I can control myself.
I don't mean to sound like I'm on my soapbox or anything. Just know you control what you put in your mouth. If you CHOOSE to put the wrong things in, the results won't be what you want. I'm thrilled with my results thus far and really am working hard to be able to phase out sooner rather than later. Look at it this way...the food is expensive. The fewer weeks you need to buy it, the more money you save. If you keep cheating with the small things (which eventually add up to something big), you will be on protocol even longer...costing more $!
No matter what you decide to do, we are here for you! Keep making the great progress you are making (even with the cheats, you're doing great!). And remember, you can vent, confess, share...whatever!
Okay Today is WI#5... I am hoping for 3 or more pounds given away... I have been a very naughty girl... Since starting IP on 10/10/13 I have eaten Blue Cheese salad dressing about 12 times, I have eaten a protein option at lunch and then gone home and eaten my regular dinner, I have eaten aged white cheddar (about an ounce three times a week), I have used tofutti better than cream cheese mixed with WF rasp jelly on a chocolate mug cake, I have used it on pancakes...
I am confessing to these sins because I feel like they are holding me back. Maybe if I stop hiding these poor choices I can overcome them. I used to hide when eating because I didn't want to be seen eating, I thought everyone was staring at me thinking "Oh my god, she is so fat, why is she eating?" Its a ridiculous notion, considering most people are way too self absorbed or even just not very observant to be looking at another person.. But it was a fear that followed me through my adolescence into my early adulthood.
Its time for me to stop justifying my small deviations from the program. Has anyone else been cheating themselves with the small things?
Good for you for coming clean. From your post it sounds like you have a lot of shame and negative feelings associated with food. If you are able to come out and say this its a wonderful step on the way to gaining control. We all have slip ups. I've had a bunch since I started too. But we can also have control over our bodies and learn to do better by ourselves. It's not the end of the world if we get off the wagon. We can just get right back on! Rome wasn't built in a day. Best of luck to you.
I tried two new things today. I'm not sure if I am allowed but I had a peanut butter chocolate quest bar for my snack. It was pretty darn good. I had to chew a while but the flavor was good. I bought WF Thousand Island dressing to try in my Big mac in a bowl. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I had tried the blue cheese and it went in the trash immediately but the thousand is pretty good.
Hey Jemma, Glad to hear that your day was better I am definitely less congested on IP, seems that I was eating something that I was allergic to before.
Danger- Welcome. Guilt and shame just eat away at you. Have you talked to your coach? Remember we are paying them to help us when we struggle.
Well WI was tonight and while it was in the right direction (down 0.6) apparently I mixed up my restricted foods....love the maple oatmeal which was new since last WI but that counts as a restricted so having the afternoon dill zippers is likely the main reason for the slowed response. Bummer cause it's a pretty expensive oopsie!
Could also have been erratic schedule, inconsistent supplement intake and consuming more coffee than water. I guess I can serve as a warning to other restarts to Pay Attention!
Well WI was tonight and while it was in the right direction (down 0.6) apparently I mixed up my restricted foods....love the maple oatmeal which was new since last WI but that counts as a restricted so having the afternoon dill zippers is likely the main reason for the slowed response. Bummer cause it's a pretty expensive oopsie!
Could also have been erratic schedule, inconsistent supplement intake and consuming more coffee than water. I guess I can serve as a warning to other restarts to Pay Attention!
Thanks for listening!
You live and learn! A small loss is still a loss and you're going in the right direction. Good for you.
Was wondering if anyone has noticed your sense of smell changing since starting IP? It seems like I can smell things way more than I could before.
Maybe it's the lack of dairy. I've heard dairy can cause congestion and inflammation. I personally haven't noticed a change in my sense of smell though.
Weighed in today... 3.4 lbs donated! For a full 40lbs given to the fat bank! Think of all those starving kids in *insert country that your mom guilted you into finishing your food with here* Feeling better about my week even though it was such a mentally and emotionally draining one. Talked to my coach about my friend, and she basically said that as much as it's not really something she WANTS to say, maybe my friend is working from a place of insecurity and could potentially be jealous about my losses since I'm 2lbs shy of what she's lost in the past 6 months.
In any event, I've come through feeling more determined, more committed, and more focused. This is not a bad thing! Rawr!!
Congrats on the great losses so far this week (Claustin, Emsmom and Kawaii and any others I know I have missed.) I'm hoping for a big one this week too!
Stephascope, would love your recipe for aloo gobi. I love Indian food and am really needing to spice up my meals right now.
Jemma, interesting about your hunger. I found in week 3 I was super hungry and now again in week 6, I am again super hungry...like all day long. I split up my protein a bit during the day, but unlike some people I have no problem eating 8oz of protein for dinner. I guess I just try to drink a lot of water and keep my mind off, hoping this will pass.
Other thing going for me though, I have noticed really considerable changes in my body this week, which makes the hunger a bit more tolerable. In fact, I wore a nice pair of fitted dress pants today that I haven't worn in a couple years and got so many compliments I was a bit embarrassed. Great NSV!!
Congrats on the great losses so far this week (Claustin, Emsmom and Kawaii and any others I know I have missed.) I'm hoping for a big one this week too!
Stephascope, would love your recipe for aloo gobi. I love Indian food and am really needing to spice up my meals right now.
Jemma, interesting about your hunger. I found in week 3 I was super hungry and now again in week 6, I am again super hungry...like all day long. I split up my protein a bit during the day, but unlike some people I have no problem eating 8oz of protein for dinner. I guess I just try to drink a lot of water and keep my mind off, hoping this will pass.
Other thing going for me though, I have noticed really considerable changes in my body this week, which makes the hunger a bit more tolerable. In fact, I wore a nice pair of fitted dress pants today that I haven't worn in a couple years and got so many compliments I was a bit embarrassed. Great NSV!!
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That's such a great feeling when you can fit into something again. Yay for you. I often tell myself when I have one of those hungry days that maybe I'm going to have a better WI afterwards. I too drink more water on those days. I normally drink way more than suggested though because I'm used to drinking a ton of water and seem to be even more thirsty since starting IP.
Emsmom97 - You are so right about how we are in control of what we put in our mouths. I am not beating myself up for it any more, its over, in the past, what I do from here on out is what makes a difference. Thank you!
Wantanewme - Yes, Shame/negative feelings towards food has always been normal for me... Slowly I am overcoming the guilt and the need to hide, I feel like with every pound I lose, I am gaining a pound of self confidence. I started wearing magenta lipstick this week which is huge for me because I never draw attention to myself... It feels good to have people notice me and tell me I look nice!
Slipfree - I haven't confessed to my coach. I know she would be understanding but in a way I feel like I would be letting her down, which is stupid...
I had a really great WI last night, 4.8 pounds given away. I think what made the difference for me this week as compared to the last 3 weeks is that I have been putting salt in my water ( I add the squeeze tubes of crystal light, it tastes like gatorade!) because I am not a salt lover, in fact I really don't like putting salt on my food at all... My coach said that the salt helps retain water and in turn helps flush out the fat when our bodies let the water go. I am not sure if her opinion is backed by any scientific authority, all I know is that it worked for me this week!
Thanks again for the support, I don't know what I would do without this forum!
Congrats to all my fellow losers, may you all have an excellent week!
Just know you control what you put in your mouth. If you CHOOSE to put the wrong things in, the results won't be what you want. I'm thrilled with my results thus far and really am working hard to be able to phase out sooner rather than later. Look at it this way...the food is expensive. The fewer weeks you need to buy it, the more money you save. If you keep cheating with the small things (which eventually add up to something big), you will be on protocol even longer...costing more $!
I am definitely less congested on IP, seems that I was eating something that I was allergic to before.
