[Kamily828]

Well, I see that Im not alone in this. Ive been going thru pure **** for the last 6 months or so. Thats why I havent been here posting. My hubby is emotionally abusive.

Here is my story:


I have been married for 10 years but weve been together for almost 14 years.

I had postpartum depression with my 1st daughter but with medicine it got better.

Then I got pregnant again 3 years later. I got postpartum depression once again and had a nervous breakdown. I was hospitalized and had to quit work. Thats when all the trouble started. It was financial trouble, stress of being a stay at home mom, and being diagnosed with depression and Fibromyalgia. We argued all the time.

I got fed up and left. My daughter was about 8 months old.
I was gone 4 months and he had moved another woman into my home after only 2 months. (I didnt know this at the time.) On New Years Eve I thought I would give our marriage another chance. I called and asked to come home. After some arguing he reluctantly said yes. The next day I found out about the other woman. Of course he sneaked out and seen her behind my back. I left again for about a month. We agreed it wouldnt happen anymore
and would try to make it work for the kids sake. Stupid decision!!


Hes an alcoholic who cant go 1 day without a drink. Ok make that at least a 6pack. Weekends its a 12 pack or a case. Hes took money out of our grocery money to buy beer. It makes me sick!!! We almost had a foreclosure on our home because of all the money trouble. Sneaking to the ATM and
withdrawing money left and right and hiding it. Making my checks bounce all over town and paying NSF fees at the bank.


About 6 months ago, he woke me up to tell me that he wasnt happy. According to him we dont do anything together, we dont go anywhere together, we have nothing in common and hes miserable. I started crying and he apologized saying it would be OK. Well that Ok went downhill quick.

On a daily basis all I heard was:
I was stupid, lazy, a bad mom and a bad housewife. The drs
shouldve kept me locked up in the mental hospital, Ive been sick since the day he met me, I dont have a backbone, I wont stand up for myself, I just cry to get attention and want people to feel sorry for me, my whole family was a bunch of inbred mornons who are lazy and hypochondriacs. All I
talk about is silly stuff like going to church and girl scouts, my opinion didnt matter because I wasnt working and bringing in any income, he works like a dog all day and brings in a paycheck every week while I lay on my fat a** at home doing nothing, our kids are going to be ******ed because I am too lazy to get off my a** in the mornings and send them to school like normal parents do. I homeschooled both of the girls because of health reasons and separation anxiety. Of course he understands nothing about that stuff. "well what do they have to be nervous about? They are kids." He is so clueless!

The mental abuse was awful. All I did was set and cry. He has had me emotionally wore down for a long time. Hes been busting up everything in the house too.Hes broke all of my jewelry boxes, busted the bedroom doors off the hinges, the laundry room door and the closet doors. It hadnt gotten physical yet but I wasnt gonna stick around to wait and see if it did. Everyone kept telling me it would eventually lead to that.

Hes threatened my family members. He told me one night that he hated my parents and would kill them if they came over. I started crying. He called my dad and told him what he thought of him.
He said killing my dad would be like killing a stray dog. It wouldnt bother him a bit. He doesnt want to just hurt, he wants to kill. (Hes also said this about a male supervisor at work).
My dad had a bad car accident in the early 80s. It did nerve damage in his back and leg. He is unable to work and has trouble walking and standing. My hubby called him a sorry a** son of a b**ch cripple who is just too lazy to work. He just wants to lay around on his sorry a** and draw a check. A million dollar injury. He wants to set around and sponge off what my mom makes at her job.
I shouldve left then but my parents said "dont worry..we wont come over. We'll stay away from him. You have the kids to think about."

I suspected he was cheating but couldnt prove anything. All I had was that weird feeling plus I noticed he was on his cell phone 99% of the time and wouldnt say who he was talking to. Whenever he would leave it laying on the table while he was asleep, I answered and the other person hung
up on me. I got mad and he mustve overheard it because he started keeping it in his pocket from then on.

Well I kept praying that God would show me the truth and he did. He was cheating with his female supervisor at work. Of course they both denied it when I confronted them. She denied ever talking to him except at work. I checked his cell records and there are hundreds of calls to this womans
cell and home numbers.They have racked up over 1300 minutes in just 2 weeks time! My friends hubby works there too and he told me the truth. I was told that they had showed up together at a co-workers camping party down by the river around 2 am one night. There were more times that they were seen out in public together.

I walked out on 8/20. He was screaming at me and the kids. He picked up my coffee table and threw it. Busting it into a million pieces. Then he looked at me and said "You are pissing me off and Im about to get violent with you." That was my cue to grab the kids and leave.

We have been staying at my parents house since I left. We are taking it one day at a time.

Hes trying to sweet talk me into coming home. Then he starts crying and saying all he has done is set at home crying his eyes out. He isnt eating, sleeping or anything. Hes worried himself sick over this. LOL Yeah right!

He complained that I havent called him once since I left. What am I supposed to say to him? Before I left the home, all he could say to me was that he was sick of looking at me and didnt want to be around me anymore. Yeah that really makes me want to call him.


I have our oldest daughter in therapy so she can deal with this mess.

Im just glad that Im out of that house.

I had lost around 12 lbs or so but of course with all the stress, Ive put that back on and no telling how much more. I dont even have a scale here. I have no idea what I weigh now. I need to get back on track but I know I cant stick to eating right. When I get stressed out, I eat. I know its wrong but I cant help it.

[tweetyandme]

I was in an abussive relationship just this past summer. I was only 17 years old, and he was 19. He came to live with me and my mom. At the time we had my brother and sister living there, along with 2 of my brothers friends. Anyway, the guy always had a very bad temper. He would say that he loved me, but then he would say he lied. I would cry a lot, but he would laugh in my face as he walked away. Him walking away from me all of the time would hurt more then he staying there and yelling. He would call me names consisting of something that contained the word 'fat' in it, and the word whore would be muttered in there with some other hurtful things. After only 2 months in the relationship, he would threaten me with leaving, and with me not liking the words he was calling me, i told him to go, and i would be happy never to hear his name ever again. Well forbid i ever make him upset. He would break down into tears, and feeling bad that i hurt someone that i loved, later that day, i would apologize. Every night after i said that, he would start the sexual abuse. He would actually rip all of my clothes off, laugh at me, and beat me up. He then forced himself on me saying that i broke his heart and now i was going to pay for it! I remember one time he actually held a gun to my head saying that i wasn't worth loving. It led to him wanting to see me harm myself right infrount of him so that he could enjoy my pain! If didn't do what he said, he would treaten to harm himself and go to the cops saying that I had did it to him! He would always chase me around the apartment with a knife trying to stabb me, just so he could see some type of harm inflicted upon me. One day he caught me and tried to slit my throat, but he heard someone coming in the frount door, so he stopped with only a little bit of blood coming from my neck.

In effecting my weight, i tried to starve myself. I didn't eat so that i would lose weight and he would stop calling me names, but now i realize that he would have done what he did to me, no matter what i looked like.

[ShirleyAnn05]

And to think, I thought I was the only one! I have been involved in abusive relationships for a while. I used to think that it only started when I started dating, but now that I'm in college and have taken so many new classes, I realise, the abuse started long before that. I surpressed so many memories of my father, that I didn't realise until recently that it really was abuse.
My father for as long as I can remember would always tell me how I had screwed up, and that I would never amount to anything, and that I could do better. All of the yelling, threats, and putdowns never registered as abuse to me, now I know better. He was treated horribly as a child by his step father, so I believe the abuse stems from that. He never physically abused me that I can think of, my sister is another story. I can remember when I was probably around 7 or 8 that I saw my father push the dining room table into my sister. (she was around 19 or 20) To this day I wonder how my mother has been able to live with him all these nearly 33 years. He threatened so many times to kick me out of the house while I was in high school (as if those years aren't hard enough.)
I will always remember the first time that I have ever heard him say that he was proud of me. On the day of my high school graduation, he pushed his way to me in the recognition line, gave me a hug and told me that he loved me and was proud of me. It took 18 and a half years for me to hear him say that he was proud of me. Those are words I will never forget, thinking of it now makes me want to cry. That was nearly 2 years ago, we are to the point that we can talk for almost 20 minutes on the phone without cussing each other out and yelling. He is a work in progress for me to talk to.
Ah the boyfriends....
My first boyfriend was when I was 15. He was a great guy (so I thought) and is still my longest relationship. 6 months. I fell in love with him. We hardly ever fought, but then it came to the point where we were getting ready to break up. He told me that I was getting too serious for him. I later found out from his best friend that we broke up because I would not have sex with him. He had cheated on me with a girl that was known for have sex with a guy within 2 weeks of dating him. (my ex didn't even get sex from her, and they dated for 3 months. he is now serving time for having nonconsentual sex with a 15 year old. serves him right)
The next couple guys cheated on me within a couple of weeks, so I'm not going to count them.
I started putting on weight at this time, and recently have realized how much weight it really is.
My junior year when I was 17 was one of the only decent guys I dated. We dated for a month, and then agreed to break up because of the distance (3 hours)....and his mother hates me. We decided that if we ended up at the same college, we would date. *we did end up at the same college. we tossed around dating, we hung out a bit, one thing leads to another, we saw each other off and on for about a year...the same lines were told to me ("I'm really busy" "my mom hates you" blah blah blah) and 2 miscarriages and a ton of heartbreak later (not to mention some extra weight) I told him never again. He to this day doesn't know of the miscarriages, nor will he until he actually shows interest in finding these things out.*
At the end of my senior year I dated a guy I worked with. Things started off great until one night I was really stressed out *it was 2 weeks before graduation, and I was the supervisor that night* and was just having an off day. He grabbed me by the arm and pushed me into the wall of the store asked me what the f**k my problem was, and started to draw his fist back. I started to shrink to the floor, luckily one of our co-workers/my best friend was getting ready to come around the corner, and my bf left me alone. I never told my friend cause I know he would go crazy about it.
My freshman year in college wasn't much better. I've already discussed the whole guy and my miscarriages thing, needless to say, he's not a decent guy anymore, we hardly talk. But there were 2 other guys. The first one I dated during the spring '06 semester. He always told me how I needed to lose weight, that I was fat, how he'd help me excercise more, and then in the same conversation tell me that he loved me and would never change me....makes sense right? We got engaged. Engaged for about 2 weeks, and the truth came out. He as so many before him, cheated on me as well.
The next guy I dated was in April of '06. He is a decent guy. We have a lot of the same interests, and he can't pick on my weight because he is a bit overweight as well. He never raised his voice, never raised a hand anything. We broke up because we had no time for each other.
Summer of '06, I started dating a new guy. Things started out ok, then he began making fun of my weight, saying I was fat, no one would want me, and then began to sexually abuse me. I told him that since I was in school, I had no time for him, work, classes, and studying *school was a priority, since I was on academic probation from the previous semester, which I blame on the stress from realizing I had a miscarriage during finals week. I bombed my finals, lowered my GPA, and was told if you can't get a 2.5 next semester, you can kiss this school and nursing program goodbye*. He didn't take it well, and is still trying to get back together with me.
November '06 I started dating a new guy. We became close, started sharing things about our pasts, he is one of the few that knows of the abuse in my past. He swore he would never hurt me or neglect me. Within the month he went back on his word, spent less time with me, and started ignoring me. I got so fed up with it that I told him I was done with his back stabbing, and that I was done with the relationship. This was a few days ago.
I'm now single, wanting to move on from my past, get rid of the weight I gained in the last few years, and find a good guy that won't abuse me. (even though at this point I feel there are none of those guys left.)

[jules1216]

No in depth but to sum it up...
Emotionally abusive Dad--alcoholic when I was young, been in AA for almost 30 years now but is still harsh with comments
Sexually abused by the babysitters son at 10
Drinking and drugs by 12
"First time" at 16 was date rape
Given a choice by the guy I loved at 18 to either have an abortion or have him leave(my son has always given me tremendous joy and love--I think I chose right)
Met and married a guy who was emotionally withdrawn and physically abusive,
through much counseling and me sending him to jail it stopped years ago, though he can still be emotionally withdrawn and harsh with his words

During the early years of my marriage I left my husband and went to a shelter where the counselor told me about a study group of abused women that was to be done but as this long list shows--they couldn't find enough women that had never been sexually, emotionally or physically abused to have a control group so it was not done. How sad is that...

[tweetyandme]

I have posts in the above thread if anyone is interested in posting there.