My brother is 20 years old, is in the Marines, and still gives our mom, me, and our other two sisters hugs. He is by no means abnormal or a wuss or anything. (Really, could a wuss get through Marine bootcamp? I dont think so!) Its just an expression of love. Personally, i think its better for your son to show his love rather than pulling away from you. Its perfectly normal!
As for reading to him at night--my mother did the same! I am convinced this is the reason i am as intelligent as i am. Other mothers stuck their kids in front of the TV, but mine read to me (I DID watch my share of TV, but not all day long) And now i love reading and i have an extensive vocabulary and do very well in school (I dont mean to brag or anything, im just trying to prove a point) You are doing very well by your son.
I can't wait to be by my 25 year old son tonight. He will be returning from a 5 week trip to Europe with friends. Wussy...heck no! All jock ~ 3 sport Varsity letterman at a high school of almost 4,000 in southern California ~ engaged to a gorgeous ex-big time college cheer/dance leader ~ tells me every day that he loves me ~ writes notes on memo board and sings off with love ~ tells me he loves me when he hangs up the phone with his friends by him ~ when he leaves the house with friends tells me C-Ya later, I love you.
YES it is normal when a boy HUGS his mom....and DAD! 'cause that's who I am!!!
My oldest son doesn't give me hugs,,,I give him hugs but he doesn't squirm away or anything...but again this is the kid who will come and lay at the bottom of the bed and talk if we are still in it. (late nights when we are watching movies and hes just getting home,,,he will come in and give us a run down of his day-being a busy sociable kid we don't get to see him much)
As for the youngest son 13 yrs old,,,he gives me alot of hugs,,,and if we are out will hold my hand or let me hold his arm.. He's not shy to go up and hug his grandma,,,or his *aunts* my best friend.
I think your husband is wrong in thinking your son hugging you is abnormal.
I forgot to mention that my son, who still hugs his mom, step-mom and me at 25, ran with the bulls in Pampolona, Spain and went to and drank with the hooligans at the World Cup in Germany.
There is a big difference between hugging and loving your mom and being a "mama's boy"....I don't know the entire story here.
My son is 11, going into 6th grade, and, while not the best hugger (sideways, one armed), he does hug! He also enjoys it when I hug him and smooch his face. A nine year old is still a baby child and needs to be loved on regularly.
Hmmm, I don't have kids, but I still get hugs from all my nieces and nephews, and their kids. One of the girls in the library where I workhas 3 boys 13, 15, 17 and they all come through after school and give her a hug and kiss and let her know what they're doing til she's off work and they go home. Totally normal. I think kids need to be loved and hugged.
Thanks for all your replies. Just for information's sake, my so is very well-adjusted, going into the 4th grade this year, makes excellent grades and even tested as AG, he skateboards and rollerblades, loves "inventing" things, has lots of friends. He is not overly huggy at all - as a matter of fact, sometimes his hugs are one-armed, but my husband seems to think there shouldn't be any at all.
To the person who asked about relationship problems, that is a possibility for sure.
He is not overly huggy at all - as a matter of fact, sometimes his hugs are one-armed, but my husband seems to think there shouldn't be any at all.
There are a lot of people and different cultures that don't do a lot of physical contact.. even between close family members. And they are happy.
Yet to want to deny someone .. especially a child who wants to hug that option.. I think this is wrong. It would be different if your husband chose not to hug his son because that is what makes him comfortable... but to deny your son the contact with you and others.. . I fear your son will pay the price.
It is perfectly natural for a son to love his mother and want to show affection! Seriously...your husband could give him a complex. Let the boy be affectionate, he's your son! And you don't want him having possible relationship problems in the future because his father made him scared to show affection...
I'm in with a normal. My boys are 19 and 24 and feel free to hug me when they feel like it ... me and my husband and their sister....
It's usually spontaneous ... for congratulations or for comfort.
We grew up in a 'stiff' home. My brother and I drifted apart but have been on much better terms the last few years. We now hug 'hello' and 'goodbye'. His loving wife has been good for him and my loving husband has been good for me, in that respect.
In my opinion, a boy (or girl for that matter) that has a normal, intimate relationship with their parents (hugs, kisses, sharing the recliner and a bowl of popcorn with a good movie) is on the right track to having normal intimate relationships with the opposite (or whatever) sex when they grow up.
Not only is it normal, but it's healthy...reverse the situation and tell hubby that not only are you going to continue hugging, kissing and reading stories to your son, but you are requesting he do the same. Heck, if he can make demands on intimacy issues with your son, why can't you? NOT being close to your children is the abnormal thing...your husband has it ALL wrong.
I agree there. My Mom and Dad both hugged and kissed all of us (sometimes to the point wer were sick of it). Dad, especially - he also loved to pretend to lean in to kiss us on the cheek and would give a big lick like a dog to make us squeal).
My brother is about as "manly" as you could expect. He is 38, just retired from the navy (military law enforcement), and looks more like a marine - thick muscled neck, huge muscular shoulders, shaved head, icy stare. And he hugs, kisses, wrestles and tickles his son and daughter - both teen agers, just like our dad did.
by my 25 year old son tonight. He will be returning from a 5 week trip to Europe with friends. Wussy...heck no! All jock ~ 3 sport Varsity letterman at a high school of almost 4,000 in southern California ~ engaged to a gorgeous ex-big time college cheer/dance leader ~ tells me every day that he loves me ~ writes notes on memo board and sings off with love ~ tells me he loves me when he hangs up the phone with his friends by him ~ when he leaves the house with friends tells me C-Ya later, I love you.
