Does that question sound as silly to you as it does to me? My husband says it is abnormal for our 9 year old son to hug me (only once or twice a day) and that it is abnormal for me to sit on the side of his bed and read to him for about 15-20 minutes a night. He says I am smothering him by doing these things.
He said this morning, "How many 9 year old boys do you know who hug their mom?" Lots! I have seen every one of my son's friends hug their moms. He is making my son feel like he is doing something wrong.
If you post your opinion on here, I plan to show this to my husband and let him see what other people think.
My son is 20 yrs. old and still gives me a hug or two every day. He isn't the least bit woosy. He's in the Army. He loves me and all that I have done for him. I love him and it feels great to know that he isn't embarassed or ashamed to give his mom a hug. My DH is 41 and he never forgets to hug his mom when he sees her.
As for sitting on the side of the bed and reading to him, we reversed this. By 9 yrs. old , I would sit there and he would read to me.
Of course that's normal! I hope your son can hug you for the rest of his life and not feel uncomfortable about it. I'm a nanny, and I've experienced kids who have been smothered, kids who have been pushed away, and normal kids. You definitely aren't smothering your son - you're showing him that you love him. The kids who don't get a little attention from their parents, and whose parents don't hug them (sad, but there really are people out there who don't hug their kids!), end up having serious social problems and poor relationships with their parents. My 18 and 31 year old brothers still hug my parents, and both of them are good people, and have never felt smothered before. Keep doing what you're doing and your son should grow into a kind and respectful young man.
There's nothing abnormal about a 9-year-old hugging his mom. There's nothing abnormal about hugging, period! My fifteen-year-old is 6'5", athletic, and All Boy, and he hugs me daily. I *still* read out loud to my son! Not books every night before bed, but often when we're eating breakfast I'll read a newspaper article or something to him. We do audiobooks that both of us enjoy in the car and sometimes in the house, as well. And we traded off reading pages when he was around 9 years of age.
Maybe your husband is jealous of a great bond between the two of you? Do you think he feels his relationship with either of you is lacking something?
Of course it is normal for a son to hug his Mom! Why not? Doesn't your husband hug him? And for you to read to him also! Ths is not smothering him... good grief it is just showing him your love!
I have 2 boy, a 12 year old and a 9 year old. My 12 year old son wouldn't spit on me if my hair was on fire and my 9 year old won't detach from my leg. Their personalities are very different. Tell your hubby to get a grip, when your 9 year old gets a girlfriend (later) he probably won't look at you again, so enjoy it while you can. Boys are needy little stinkers they just show it in different ways. My 12 year old talks to me alot but he dosen't want me to touch him. That may change and it may not, but as long as he is still talking with me I can accept it.
This is very normal. My oldest is 10yrs old and he gives me hugs. I know every child is different and some may show more emotion then others but the bottom line is no matter what the childs age is, it's always okay to give a hug to their parents!!!
My kids are well adjusted young adults (just now turning 21 and 19).. as far as being a "boy" goes.. they are both athletic.. black belts in Taekwondo...able to take care of themselves.. meaning not since second grade has anyone ever pushed them around.. very patient and well adjusted..
That being said.. they still hug me when they feel like it.. When they were 12 and 16 they even held my had ALL the time on an overseas trip even though it was hot and bugged the heck out of me! And as far as reading to each other goes... My husband and I read to each other all the time.. so what is the problem with reading to kids at any age? It is a great way to share the love of literature as well as spend quiet time together. I was given a beautiful book called "The Water Hole" by a friend last year. It was so artistically done my son (who was turning 20 at that time) wanted to see it.. next thing I know he has his skinny behind on my lap as we began turning the pages. I will never forget that day! Nobody would have believed it.
He went back to school yesterday (college).. and yes when he left he gave me a hug. My younger son (turning 18) is the same.. only thing is he doesn't hug his dad very much anymore.. (I think he is trying to "be a man").
(I posted this before reading other replies.. so now off to see what others have to say.)
I have a 16 year old boy and my son at age 9 loved to read the Adventures of Captin Underpants. I miss those nights when we would have a good laugh over an adventure. Enjoy your son hugs you will NEVER get those years back! My son and I don't read to each other now but we do enjoy watching movies, playing computer games, or quiet nights lighing a fire with somores. We make sure that Wed is kept open for Family day. My son doesn't hug me or his father as much as he use to but they are still there.
My 21 year old son still hugs me and my husband. He went on his yearly trips with his grandmother up until last fall when his new job prevented it. He went through a stage in middle school when he would give me my goodbye kiss a block from the school when I dropped him off in the morning (but he still wanted to give me that kiss)
I say don't stop, there are so many kids that don't feel or get the love they need, I know because I grew up not feeling loved and I swore my children would never feel that way and I am proud to say that they don't.
DH will just have to get over it....maybe he needs a hug....
Normal for 9 year old son to hug mom?
