AMEN!!!

Dear almost former boss (T minus 9 business days),

I lied. It's all your fault I'm leaving.

The employee that busted her butt

Oh, and PS: I took a big pay cut just to not work for you!


Dear new boss,

Thank you for the opportunity. I promise to make you proud.

Your new employee

This thread is Great!

Dear Husband:
Could you please clean up your own mess? I am not your mother and I am definitely not your maid. Put the caps back on the peanut butter and jelly jars, put the bread away and wash your own dishes. In other words, grow up! I am tired of living with an adolescent.


Dear Mother in Law: thanks for doing such a crappy job of raising your son. I had to finish what you were supposed to do. As for your nasty comments about my weight, go F yourself. I hate you. But you already know that.


Dear Ex Boss: I hate you. But you already know that.


Dear Stray Cat in the Back Yard: I feed you every day and took you to the vet, which cost me $375. Could you please show me some appreciation for all of my
efforts instead of having so much catitude?


Dear Other Posters on this thread: I love everyone's posts! I have really enjoyed reading this thread!

Really great thread! Read everyone's letters so far.

Dear Son,
Please stop doing the opposite of everything you are told, and baiting people into fights. I know the doctors think its a part of the challenges you have, but the other morning when I told you not to eat your oatmeal yet because it was hot and you then felt the urge to be defiant and do the opposite by taking a bite of HOT oatmeal and subsequently burning you mouth and then screaming at me that I should have told you, has me and your father worried. While I appreciate that after the fact you admitted you heard me and took a bite to say "screw you" to me because how dare I tell you not to eat your oatmeal yet, it doesnt change that your behavior has your dad and I broken and exhausted. It also means back to the doctors we go because now your defiance has gotten so bad that you will endanger yourself to do it. Please stop, because currently we are all miserable from this.

Signed
Mom, not super woman

Dear Self,
Stop hating yourself for being back over 200 lbs. You have a beautiful baby to show for it. You will lose the weight. Relax.

Signed,
Your making yourself miserable over your current weight

Dear Ticker,
Why are you designed in such a way that displaying my current weight and my starting weight right now looks like I weigh 2,211 lbs...?

Signed
I already feel huge, you're not helping matters...

:) GlamourGirl *hugs*



Dear Self,
STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD! I want to come out!

Hugs and kisses,
-Healthy self



Dear guys in my area,
I am awesome. One of you needs to find me and win my heart. Then let's move, because I don't like it here.
-Me

Dear night-time self

Please stop eating EVERYTHING IN SIGHT after 8pm. You eat so well all day long, but every single night you ruin it by eating like a 15 year old boy going through a growth spurt. Put down the chips and ice cream, stop watching 30 Rock, and do something productive!

From
Your morning self.

omg your night self and my night self must be great friends. Please have your morning self foward a copy of this my night self. Although my night self has ignored this request in the past, its worth trying. :)

thank you. :)

Dear friends/family members,
PLEASE stop asking us to go out to eat. I know you mean well, but after having to tell my husband over and over why we shouldn't go out to eat tonight (because of health and money reasons) it's frustrating to then get the phone call or see you and have you ask us out for dinner and then my husband starts to beg all over again. I am sick of doing so well and not feeling hungry, but getting guilted (not sure if that's a word) into going out to eat and feeling like I just need to "do it."
Sincerely,
Someone who's sick of being sabotaged


Dear mom
PLEASE stop bringing up weight-loss things in front of EVERYONE. Why don't you bring up all these conversations and articles during the large amount of time we are alone together? I don't like constantly discussing how awful being over weight is in front of people because it's one of the only things that makes me embarrassed (and that's saying something because I'm a nurse and willing to discuss ANYTHING).
Love,
Your daughter that wants to lose the weight without drawing attention to herself.



Dear husband
QUIT buying things we can't afford!
Love,
your super stingy and money conscious wife

Dear 90 pound soaking wet family member. Thanks so much for calling me to ask about diat apps because you wanna lose five pounds. And saying you thought id probably known about some. I really appreciate how you make me feel.
signed the fat ***.

Dear best friend. Thanks for making zumba plans or plans to go walking together or anything healthy and ALWAYS blowing me off.

Dear husband. I love you but please stop buying cakes and junk food.

Dear Man-Child,

I'm madly in love with you. You've made me feel like a princess. You've treated me better than I've ever been treated. You've help motivate me. You didn't even recognize me when you picked me up from the airport the last time we saw it each other. Why are you suddenly being so cold? After 8 months of promises and plans, I feel like our time is ending. I am using you like an attention sponge, yes but I can't help it. I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Love, Confused-and-heartbroken!

Dear Ex-boyfriend,

You are an idiot if you EVER think I'll EVER want you back. After telling me that you weren't attracted to me at 350lbs, you really think that now when I'm 220lbs I'll come crawling back to you. AS IF! You knew I was the best thing that ever happened to you. You love to text me and tell me this often. Too bad that you didn't want me at my worst, cause you damn sure ain't getting me at my best.

Love, The Best Thing That Happened to You That You Will Never Have Again

Dear muffin pan,

Really, this is great that you are thinking about picking up a competition diving career. It's really nice, but your big diving try out ended up being stop by my big toe. Because of you it is bloody and hurts like *&%/; how am I supposed to run my race on Saturday?

Your sporty dreams are destroying mine, muffin pan.

Sincerely,
Someone who won't bake zucchini muffin for A WHILE.

Dear TurboMammoth,

You made me laugh.

Signed,
ForMyRoo

:lol: TurboMammoth's post is an awesome litmus test for how awake you are. I read it earlier but the caffeine had not kicked in, and I was so confused. :lol:

Dear back (and body),

Why y u no play nice? What is up with this achiness? Yesterday was the first day in awhile that I didn't over-exert myself, so you're hurting now because... ? Turn the pain dial down, yo. This "everything, even my teeth hurt" feeling is silly - and exhausting.

Dear Husband,
Just because I am still working at my age does not mean I WANT to. Please try to find a job -- and/or quit spending so much money on yourself that I get resentful each and every day. And quit putting on Facebook that you love being "kept" in the style you have grown accustomed to.

Love from someone who should have smelled the coffee a LONG time ago and realized you were lazy!

Dear Fat Jen,

What is going on with you lately? You keep insisting that you are SOOOOOO hungry and that we need to eat, eat, eat. It's starting to stress me out.

Signed,

Thin Jen