IMHO, texting is not a 'conversation'. Texting is for a quick 'hello', or 'pick up a quart of milk, pls.'.
My question is not whether he's interested in you, but Why are you interested in him? What does he bring to the table to make your life richer? He called you 'sexy'? Big deal. You know that, already
Amen! If more women had this sense of confidence they wouldn't be dragged around by the nose by men who really don't care about them. Responding to sexual texting is as immature as sending sexual texts. It doesn't matter what your response is, when you respond to a sexual text it reads "this is all the effort that is required to have me." I know that sounds harsh but you gotta get tough with men, they will get away with the laziest form of communication IF YOU LET THEM.
Ouch, sorry. Use this as a great opportunity to spot red flags in the future. The only reason I knew it was one, was learning the same way you did. Good luck - and you are worth more than this!
Thank you all.
It just really makes me feel bad about myself. It's like I can't get my own man but I could sleep with someone else's. :/
Truthfully, this reflects more on the type of person he is (of low quality I would say) and virtually nothing on the type of person you are.
In the past I too have been attracted to scum bags (before I knew their true nature of course). Now I'm happily married to a man who loves me no matter what weight I'm at, who only has eyes for me!
Truthfully, this reflects more on the type of person he is (of low quality I would say) and virtually nothing on the type of person you are.
In the past I too have been attracted to scum bags (before I knew their true nature of course). Now I'm happily married to a man who loves me no matter what weight I'm at, who only has eyes for me!
Love yourself first, and have a little faith!
Thank you. I was just annoyed because that is the second guy this year that lied about having a girlfriend. I haven't dated since August 2011 and when I felt like getting back out there, I meet two guys like them.
It sucks that that happened, but it would suck much more to be their girlfriends.
It's crazy that when this sort of thing happens, *we're* the ones who feel stupid when *they* are clearly the ones without any kind of integrity. Hugs to you. Don't hit yourself over the head.
Thank you. I was just annoyed because that is the second guy this year that lied about having a girlfriend. I haven't dated since August 2011 and when I felt like getting back out there, I meet two guys like them.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm truly just trying to help you out here. A friend once said this to me and at first I was really irritated and defensive, but then literally a year later I began to think about what my friend said to me and realized it was true. She said I always tended to attract guys that were not available to me.
Could this be true for you on some level? Even if you think it's not true, sometimes it helps to process this thought or idea as you might discover why exactly you are attracting men that are already attached and lie about it.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm truly just trying to help you out here. A friend once said this to me and at first I was really irritated and defensive, but then literally a year later I began to think about what my friend said to me and realized it was true. She said I always tended to attract guys that were not available to me.
Could this be true for you on some level? Even if you think it's not true, sometimes it helps to process this thought or idea as you might discover why exactly you are attracting men that are already attached and lie about it.
Breathing Space, this ^^ is a great point! This has been my problem in the past and something that I'm actively working on. I've actually decided to forgo dating and/or relationships until I untangle the web of this aspect of my personality. I'm fortunate that I enjoy time alone so I use this time for a lot of things including figuring out why I attract not only the unavailable, but emotionally unavailable men. Oy!!
One of my favorite quotes (attributed to Mark Twain): Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
These kinds of men do the same thing to other women too - but I think sometimes we are so excited at the prospect of a decent date that we ignore the obvious signs.
For example, the texting. You see how many girls here respond that it's baiting? I used to entertain those kinds of texts. After I realized what was happening, I refused to do that anymore. Men like this lose interest very quickly, because they have so little invested. Women who do not tolerate this, do not even get to the point of involvement like some do.
It is literally like they toss out bait for lots of girls and unfortunately those who are not guarded are the ones who get hooked. That's just my own experience.
We say, "why do we attract jerks" - the truth is, all women attract jerks. The question to ask yourself is - "why do we entertain these jerks beyond the first text?"...
I'm happily married now to a wonderful man. Looking back now with a clear mind and in a respectful relationship, I can see all the red flags that were smacking me in the face.
You think those are the two only guys that have lied? Ha! Everybody lies.
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Originally Posted by sacha
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For example, the texting. You see how many girls here respond that it's baiting? I used to entertain those kinds of texts. After I realized what was happening, I refused to do that anymore. Men like this lose interest very quickly, because they have so little invested. Women who do not tolerate this, do not even get to the point of involvement like some do.
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Exactly. Because men seen texting and communication way way way differently than we do. Women are capable of believing that the more "communication" there is the more serious this relationship becomes. Men don't actually think this way at all. A man who chooses to text you is actually keeping you at arms length. Texting is no more than a video game for them.
I stand by what I say. If a man wants you, he calls you and he comes and sees you. He doesn't just make an effort, he makes it happen.
...I'm confused, it sounds like you aren't interested in him!
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That is what I thought too. And besides... getting guys to TALK like we women want them to? Forget it... it won't happen with most of them Get a best friend for that.
You think those are the two only guys that have lied? Ha! Everybody lies.
Exactly. Because men seen texting and communication way way way differently than we do. Women are capable of believing that the more "communication" there is the more serious this relationship becomes. Men don't actually think this way at all. A man who chooses to text you is actually keeping you at arms length. Texting is no more than a video game for them.
I stand by what I say. If a man wants you, he calls you and he comes and sees you. He doesn't just make an effort, he makes it happen.
Thanks for this! I'm going to be in the dating world soon so I have to remember this too.
You think those are the two only guys that have lied? Ha! Everybody lies.
Exactly. Because men seen texting and communication way way way differently than we do. Women are capable of believing that the more "communication" there is the more serious this relationship becomes. Men don't actually think this way at all. A man who chooses to text you is actually keeping you at arms length. Texting is no more than a video game for them.
I stand by what I say. If a man wants you, he calls you and he comes and sees you. He doesn't just make an effort, he makes it happen.
Did I say anywhere that those were the only two guys that have lied? HA.
Get a best friend for that. 
