This was via email late at night, he kept messaging me and I would always respond but I knew that he was doing homework so I didn't want to bother him. I said something along the lines of don't study too hard, good night. He messaged back with something like "well you know I am going to be texting you."
He texts me quiet often but it's hard to carry on a conversation with him. Either he is very reserved or just not interested. Probably just not interested.
He's the complete opposite of me. He's very athletic, crazy good looking, has a Bachelor's degree and is working on a second while I am working on my first, and he is about 17 years older than me.
Is this as in he doesn't care you need to sleep he's letting you know that he will still be texting you after you said goodnight? That's disrespectful also and shows no care whatsoever for you... run seems like a jerk.
Unless I'm reading it wrong...
Last edited by going2bskinny; 03-21-2013 at 01:32 AM.
This is someone who has no interest in a relationship but is leaving the door open to a "friends with benefits" situation (a 43 year old and 26 year old woman... how flattering for him right?). If he had any further interest, he would have asked you out on a date. I would delete his number, it is disrespectful. Don't entertain it.
Seems like a pusher-puller to me. One minute he is calling you sexy and good looking, telling you that he's going to be texting you, and then the next minute you say he seems uninterested and hard to talk to. He's not being very direct in his language whatsoever but is saying just enough to string you along. The guy wants you around (for some reason - it may not just be about sex), but he doesn't want any commitment to a relationship. He's just going to keep pushing you away when you get too close and reeling you back in when you've started to be independent of him.
Also, the sexy comment would have been incredibly off-putting to me. You're being very honest and forthcoming, and he pulls some crap like that? Like if he calls you sexy, all of that will just go away?
Take the conversation off email and/or text. Nothing good leads from these. If a guy likes you he doesn't bother with virtual conversations. Just say to him "sorry, I reserve texting and email only for work related issues."
We let guys off way too easy these days. We let them get away with doing absolutely nothing. If you're not willing to put in face time to this relationship then it should not come as any surprise that it's not going anywhere. A guy who's that old should know that.
This is someone who has no interest in a relationship but is leaving the door open to a "friends with benefits" situation (a 43 year old and 26 year old woman... how flattering for him right?). If he had any further interest, he would have asked you out on a date. I would delete his number, it is disrespectful. Don't entertain it.
I agree with this, if you want a relationship and not just someone to call when you're feeling frisky, seek other company
And this was his reply
"Regardless....I still think you're sexy as ****!!! Hope you're having a great day"
Then about 30 minutes later he text "hey good looking, how's your day?"
When I first read your posting, it seemed to me like the 2nd text was for someone else and he hit reply on your message by mistake.
I hate seeing younger ladies get jerked around by these older men. Not that age matters but it seems to me that the older guys (by a lot of years I mean) tend to be good at manipulating the younger girls by just keeping in touch "enough" to have them as a back up plan.
One of my cousins gets played by these guys all the time and has wasted more of her life waiting for these guys that will never be a boyfriend/SO in her life but she falls for it all the time. She waits around and around for them and they are just using her if nothing better comes along or (I think) to text with her while he's waiting for his real date to show up.
End rant. Sorry. Please delete his number, he's not worth a lady like you.
Just to throw my two cents in about the age thing...17 years age difference isn't too much given the right guy. My husband is substantially older than me. Granted, not by 17 years by any stretch, but I was in diapers when he was moving on up to middle school. Sometimes, age doesn't factor in. Heck, he ages well...for the first two years I thought he was only 4 years older than me. Not quite. More like 9-1/2 to 10. Not like he was immature or anything, just he didn't look a decade older than me. And vice versa. I still get carded and I just turned 30. I looked young. I know that. He knew that. But he thought I just aged really well given the fact I was super mature for my age. It wasn't until we decided to move from friends (and FRIENDS ONLY, there was not benefits!!!) that we realized how off we had been about each other's ages. We've known each other for a total 8 years, dated for 4, married for 2. Have an awesome daughter together. He treats me like a queen and it is blatanly obvious I am the love of his life. Likewise, he is mine. I married my best friend. Even though everyone was stunned I married a man so much older than myself. Everyone told me I could find better, find younger. But none of them would have been him.
As for the other stuff...yeah...uhm, I dunno. Men are weird. I mean, really weird. My husband had been crushing on me since we met 8 years ago and it took him two years to get the courage to ask me out to dinner...even though we had had dinner together a zillion times before then. So who knows. Maybe he is interested. Maybe he isn't. Maybe he has been burnt in the past and is scared. Maybe he was a friend with some benefits. Or maybe he just wants to be friends but acknowledges that you are attractive, but he just is not interested right now. The only person who can tell you that, is him. And unless you ask, you won't get an answer. And do it face to face. A lot can be lost in translation over emails and texts.
Oh Zoesmom, I didn't mean to offend anyone with an age comment!!! I know age difference doesn't mean anything in a healthy relationship!
I just have seen younger girls without much dating experience (not saying this is the case of the OP either) getting hooked on the attention of an older guy who is just smooth, know what I mean?
I probably shouldn't have replied with my personal family situation so raw in my head.
Last edited by elvislover324; 03-21-2013 at 12:08 PM.
If he's in his 40's he should be able to talk to a woman and let her know that he's interested. If he's that shy and hapless...you're probably better off. In my experience, when a guy is genuinely interested in me and I'm interested in him...it's obvious and I don't need to ask other people to interpret his actions. When you're doing that, it's usually a sign that you're fishing for something that's just not there.
Oh Zoesmom, I didn't mean to offend anyone with an age comment!!! I know age difference doesn't mean anything in a healthy relationship!
I just have seen younger girls without much dating experience (not saying this is the case of the OP either) getting hooked on the attention of an older guy who is just smooth, know what I mean?
I probably shouldn't have replied with my personal family situation so raw in my head.
No worries. Not offended. Just was throwing in that age doesn't mean a lick to some folks. Afterall, it is just a number. But yeah, I know what you mean. I had a friend get wrapped up in a piece of scum 16 years older than her, knock her up, then skip town. I felt really bad about that...our daughters were born 4 months apart and my guy stuck around when hers did not. Luckily, our two girls are best of friends and my friend's wee one calls my hubby "Daddy" and he treats her as if she was his own. Like I said, I got myself Mr. Amazing
Zoesmom- my mom and her husband are 24 years apart (which blows my mind as you can believe my stepdad is younger than me) and yes, she does genuinely love him.
When I first read your posting, it seemed to me like the 2nd text was for someone else and he hit reply on your message by mistake.
I do agree with this. Who says "Hope you have a good day" then 30 minutes later say "How's your day going?". Odd.
At 43, the "sexy" comments to someone you're not even really dating seem immature, tacky and creepy. I have nothing against age differences, I started seeing my husband when I was 21 and he was 33. It's now 8 years later, happily married with two kids. BUT, just based upon this snippet of information, it wouldn't give me good vibes. There are good men of all ages out there so no reason to hang on to someone that may just barely be hanging on to you.
Take the conversation off email and/or text. Nothing good leads from these. If a guy likes you he doesn't bother with virtual conversations. Just say to him "sorry, I reserve texting and email only for work related issues."
We let guys off way too easy these days. We let them get away with doing absolutely nothing. If you're not willing to put in face time to this relationship then it should not come as any surprise that it's not going anywhere. A guy who's that old should know that.
I second this. Face time or even real talking on the phone time is what should be done. Texting leaves sooo much room to take things wrong or out of context.
It makes me sad to see how many people put so much of their communication in texting.
Hope you figure things out and it works out the way you would like it to!
IMHO, texting is not a 'conversation'. Texting is for a quick 'hello', or 'pick up a quart of milk, pls.'.
My question is not whether he's interested in you, but Why are you interested in him? What does he bring to the table to make your life richer? He called you 'sexy'? Big deal. You know that, already
"Meh, I'm always turned off when guys respond with something sexual if we are not in a long-term relationship or if I haven't known them a long time. To me it's just a sign that they're not into me in a real relationship way. Which, fair enough, but if I'm looking for a real relationship and he says something like this I just move on."
That is truth talk sista. Deep down inside, you can seperate the men from the boys. Don't settle when your intuition is firing warning shots. Been there, traveled down that wrong path many-a-time! LOL
