I'm starting to feel "alone" here. Here's the "skinny" of it all...I got fat because I was lazy (didn't want to move), and loved fast food, pastries and my beloved Baskin & Robbins handpacked rum raisin/pistacchio almond.
That simple.
Anyone here share my experience? I do realize that true eating disorders exist, but I feel people use the term "binging" a bit too freely around here. Overeating one night at a restaurant is not necessarily "binging". When I eat, it's not because my mother didn't hug me enough or because my significant other ignores me...or because I subconsciously hate myself (I could just bang my head on a wall for that matter)...it's because I LOVE FOOD...I LOVE FAT...it taste really good and if I had my PERFECT WORLD...I'd eat endless amounts of Baskin & Robbins, fried foods and patries until my hearts content (and I've got a BIG heart...lol)!
My question is...is there anyone out there in the world like me? Someone who realized (while they were gaining weight) what they were doing, but made a conscious choice to do it...deciding they would simply lose the weight at a later date? Or...Are we all "victims" of ourselves???...
yes i agree with you i gained weight because I ate too much and didnt exercise. It was basic math i took in more calories than i burned. No childhood trauma, no eating disorder, not because someone teased me one day in second grade etc i just simply didnt watch my caloric intake.
I also found out at 40+ dont have the same metabolism that i didnt in my 20's so i need to be careful in the calories in dept.
That is me!!!!! There was always ice cream in the house, I didn't leave the store without buying it and sat every night eating a HUGE bowl. Late night snacks were also my favorite, especially if it involved some kind of dip. And usually always seconds at dinner. I never ate breakfast and rarely lunch, but i sure made up for it and then some from about 4pm until i went to bed. I always thought about exercise but thats as far as it got, my excuse was i have a house full of kids to take care of (we have 7 kids) but it was just a bad excuse and i knew it. Now I make the kids exercise with me ;-) So there you have it, i knew i was eating way too much and unhealthy and even that sometimes i wasn't even hungry while i was doing it, but yes, it tasted good.
I think the problem is all the same really. Whatever causes the lack of keeping yourself up whether it's just laziness, procrastination, or unresolved self-esteem issues, it is still the same problem thought the symptoms/causes are different. So in essence it's all the same, for some reason or another we find a reason to not do what's best for ourselves and over-indulge. Just be thankful that you don't have any extra hurdles on your path to deal with, sounds like you can willpower your way through it all if you want to.
i thought i had an overeating problem. i ate mostly fairly healthy food for most of the weight i gained.
i listened to inside out weightloss, learned how to eat intuitively, and now i can do that. usually, as long as i keep up with workouts (not consistent anymore) my eating is in control.
i have had childhood trama, but if i have a binging problem, then it would seem to be harder to control than this. especially since IOWL, when i overeat, i'm making the conscious decision to do it ANYWAY.
i listened to inside out weightloss, learned how to eat intuitively, and now i can do that. usually, as long as i keep up with workouts (not consistent anymore) my eating is in control.
i have had childhood trama, but if i have a binging problem, then it would seem to be harder to control than this. especially since IOWL, when i overeat, i'm making the conscious decision to do it ANYWAY.
Katy, I'm a big fan of IOWL too! I don't know if I really am a true binger but definitely have some disordered eating habits that I am working on. And yes, I am an adult sexual abuse survivor.
How I got fat:
I was in denial about my weight. If I did not weigh myself, I did not have a weight problem.
I used food to soothe and calm myself, often in private.
I simply ate more than I exercised (if I exercised at all), meaning that I was taking in more than I was burning off.
I mean, I think there's definitely an emotional component to binging for me, which is why I'm able to say I've gone over fifty days without binging, despite having overeaten frequently. So yeah, sometimes I definitely am just lazy about food, decide to eat some ice cream instead of a salad, knowing what it'll do to me, and put on weight. But other times, I feel completely distressed, hopeless, anxious, self-hating, jittery, etc., and I'll eat about three or four times as much as I should eat. And sometimes the meals are fairly healthy. Nothing wrong with a bowl of Kashi cereal with almond milk, right? Well, something's wrong with five bowls in a row, followed by distress so intense that I'm tempted to purge.
So I guess the short of it is, yeah, I'm kind of like you. I gained ten pounds in my senior year of high school after I got my driver's license and could eat fast food daily. Poor food choices. But I also gained a lot of weight due to extreme emotional distress that I self-medicated with food.
I'm with you. A LOT of my weight gain is simply unconscious eating and a twin love of food and of lounging.
When I was in junior high, my favorite thing to do was grab a bag of Cheetos, climb up in the mimosa tree in my front yard, and eat them as I read a book happily undisturbed. In high school, a friend commented admiringly, "Wow, when you eat a pizza, you really eat the **** out of it!" (at the time I weighed 120ish and no one seems to think it's gross if a 120-pound woman eats a lot the way they sometimes do if you weigh double that...go figure ). I dropped the weight via Jenny Craig, held it off for four years, then gained sixty pounds in a year when I transitioned to a desk job from retail work.
I am one of those who really did "eat more, move less" to get to my size. I can't even say there's much of an emotional component to it because I remember my sister offering to work out with me and helping me out with counting calories when I was eleven--that means I was heavy before she died. So yeah, the biggest component of my weight gain was just om-nom-nomming down a lot of high-calorie food because I liked the stuff.
I probably have eaten more when stressed or depressed, but I don't think it qualifies as emotional eating, considering I also did it while reading a good book and mindlessly stuffing my hand into a bag or box of salty snacks. I ate a lot when I was down, but I also ate a lot when I was happy...basically, I just ate a lot.
I'm glad you posted this. There are so many reasons behind weight gain, and sometimes the reason doesn't go much deeper than "I love to eat." Knowing why we eat helps us devise the best plans to overcome it, I think. I've seen folks here describe a feeling of relief from not having to think about their meals or express happiness that their food is palatable, but not delicious. Those plans wouldn't work for me because I require deliciousness and thoughtful, varied eating to stay on track. (From your delicious menus, Joyful, I suspect you're the same. )
It's amazing to see how many different ways there are to find yourself with a weight concern and how many different, but effective ways there are to rid yourself of it. I love that 3FC has room for everyone in it and that these kinds of threads exist to talk about all these different paths.
I started gaining weight during my senior year of high school. I had dropped out of track and cheerleading was no longer available, so all the stuff that had kept me active was gone. I don't think I ever ate super healthy. Typical kid, ya know. When I graduate, married and moved to Florida with my husband, I really started to gain. We ate out almost every meal. Then I became pregnant with my first son and gained 40 pounds. I was so lazy during the pregnancy and ate whatever I wanted...as long as it wasn't bad for the baby. When my son was 10 months old, I became pregnant with my second son. I had some high blood pressure with him and was on bed rest for the last month. I was required to keep my feet elevated during most of the pregnancy so I gained then too. After the kids were born, I just continued to eat poorly and not be as active as I could have been. So, really..my weight is due to my bad habits and a little because of the pregnancies.
But, now my sons are 4 and 2. I'm so ready to be able to run around with them and have tons of energy. I've already seen a huge improvement so far but I can't wait til I reach my goal weight!
I am not sure what, if any, my emotional connection to food is. All I know is that even though I knew I'd gain weight I figured I'd just binge for a week and gain 5 pounds and then stop. But I'd keep doing the same thing week after week. I would have fast food about 4 or 5 times a week....if not more. And when I tried to quit I'd find myself getting out of bed around 10pm, going through a McDonald's drive-thru for a big mac, 20 piece mcnuggets and a double cheeseburger. And probably a large fry. But along with it I'd buy 3 coke's because if I ordered one coke then I knew they'd know I was buying all that food for me, not my other ficticious 2 friends waiting for me to get back.
I was sick and out of control. I would walk the empty fast food bags to the garbage outside because I didn't want to see what I did in the morning. I was in total denial and this cycle repeated itself week after week, month after month.
On this past Christmas Eve I told my family I was going to buy a couple last minute gifts but I went to White Castle, ate 8 cheeseburgers and then came home (empty handed) and ate another entire meal with my family.
On January 3rd, I finally took back control and I look back in horror as to what I did to my body. I definitely believe that overeating is as big of an addiction as smoking and drinking and drugs. Sometimes I wish my addiction was to drugs because I just cannot escape food if I want to survive. I have to struggle every.....single....day. But the good news is it's getting easier.
joyfulloser, you're in good company. I'm another who just... loves food. Not a binger, just a regular over-eater, and too many of the wrong things: Cream, butter, oil, pasta, potatoes, rich sauces and so on.
I've never thrown up from overeating. I eat healthful things. I raise my own beef and pork, grow and can my own vegetables when I can't eat them fresh in season, keep chickens for fresh eggs. I make almost everything from scratch, avoid sugar and rarely drink more than 2 glasses of wine. Not a fast food person.
I became hypothyroid when I was 27 (nearly 27 years ago), gained 40 pounds in 3 months and haven't stopped battling my weight since. I do hate to exercise... it's a stern discussion every single day and always has been, unless I'm doing things I love, like dancing or water skiing.
I do love to cook and I'm good at it. My first husband (we're still friends) once told me he stayed for nearly 10 extra years because of the food. My second husband loved to eat, and I was happy to oblige him. For some reason I turn into some weird old Ukrainian house shrew whenever I cook for others... I start cooking the rich, fattening foods I know they will love, and I don't believe someone is full until they've had a stroke. My way to show love is to make you (and me of course, too!) a 7-course dinner you'll rave about all your life. The problem is, it's me who gets fat.
I once lost all the weight I wanted to lose and successfully kept it off for several years. I got up every morning and walked for 3 1/2 miles with my dog (never learned to love it). But eventually, I stopped paying as much attention, the exercise fell off, the portions gradually got bigger -- and so did I. Managed to pile on 80 extra pounds this time. Knew it was happening at the time but just let myself do it anyway.
I'm not sick; my blood pressure is low, my blood sugars are fine. I'm just sick of being fat. I loved being slim, loved clothes, heels and the attention. I'd like to have that again -- and of course, I know I've just been lucky with the good health. Sooner or later, it will catch up with me.
So... this time, it's slow, steady and all about staying aware. I won't say no to anything. I just plan for it. My idea of a 'splurge' now is going 200 calories over budget.
The trick will be learning to do it if/when I find myself in a relationship again. With as much as I have to lose, I'll have lots of time to practice.
I ended up moving this thread, for lack of a better idea, to General Chatter. The reason is that Chicks in Control is a subforum dedicated to those that struggle with compulsive overeating/binging/emotional eating/etc. Not everyone on this site has real issues with food but for those that do, its a nice place to discuss those issues.
I was reading a book recently that talked about how to tell if you might have food issues. Just a simple way is to visualize a room full of all the most enjoyable foods you've ever had in your life. From childhood memories, to trips, to hanging out with friends, whatever. How would that make you feel?
A person with a normal relationship with food might react with curiosity. A person with an abnormal relationship with food might react with either absolute delight or absolute horror. For me personally, it would be my worst nightmare.
Of course it is just a simple visualization exercise and I don't know how other obese people would react. But the real difference is some of us have struggles with food that others don't and we ask that be respected.
And now... back to your regularly scheduled program
I gained because I ate crap and drank and didn't think anything of it. I wasn't out of shape **** at one point I was riding my bike 11+ miles a day and working on my feet 30 hours a week and I still weighed 240 pounds. I didn't eat anything healthy though. I would eat totinos every night drink like a fish on weekends and snack on cupcakes and guzzle arizona ice teas. Vegetables were unheard of and I never cooked real meals. Sometimes I would eat very little just a totinos, a pack of cupcakes, and an large ice tea a day but it was poor food choices. If that weren't enough there would be months or weeks when I was broke as **** and I ate nothing but ramen soup which provided my body with no nurtients and then when I had food I would binge because I was literally starving and gain weight. Until last year I never felt fat though even as I was pushing the 250 mark. I thought normal people were just skinny and I was perfectly fine. My parents told me being fat was a good thing growing up and some of my relatives are morbidly morbidly obese so I only saw myself as chunky and since I had been taught that was a good thing I thought nothing of it. I was in shape. I regularly exercised. Wasn't that enough I figured. When the reality of the situation hit me it was a hard wake up call and I must admit I'm still not completely over it. I eat good now and I rarely drink and the results of my life change have been very apparent to everyone. I still have a long way to go physically and emotionally though.
For years, I thought I had an eating disorder, because my eating was so out of control. I ate (out of control) when stressed, and it seemed I was always stressed.
My own problems with food and emotions were the primary reason I went into the field of psychology (hoping to understand and cure myself).
I struggled with "out of control" eating for decades.
In my late 20's or early 30's I discovered birth control (I had avoided bc until that point because I'd been warned that bc tends to cause weight gain and make weight loss more difficult).
The opposite turned out to be true. The bc drastically reduced the crazy hunger (and a lot of other horrible symptoms like very painful cramps and enotional instability) during PMS.
It was only half of the picture, because I still had some binge issues, but they were much improved.
Then just a few years ago, I discovered low-carb dieting (I never gave it much of a chance before, because I had always thought low-carb was extremely unhealthy an unsustainable. Not sure I ever would have tried it if my doctor hadn't suggested I try it - though he warned not to go "too low," but admitted he had no idea what too low would be).
Experimenting with low-carb, I discovered that my binge and control problems disappeared entirely on low-carb. Not only did the binges and urge to binge stop - the out-of-control emotions that (in the past) triggered out-of-control eating also disappeared.
It's been a very odd experience, to say the least. My appetite, hunger, and even emotions are so different on a moderately low-carb, whole food diet (on the birth control) that it's almost like I'm entirely different person (one I don't recognize). When I had to change birth control because of an insurance change, I found that it's a little harder on the new birth control. If I add back in too many high carb foods (even "good" high fiber, whole grain ones), I also see glimpses of the "old" me.
It's completely changed my perspective on how large a role physiology can plan. I spent most of my life assuming that my hurdles were emotional or psychological issues - a lack of willpower, a matter of my being lazy, crazy, or stupid. I would have told you that I just had to try harder (but trying harder never worked, and I didn't know why).
I believed that "moderation" was possible, even with my worst trigger foods (all carbohydrate rich foods).
Having my "eating disorder" essentially cured with two simple physiological changes make me wonder how many other people think they lack control, when their diet is actually undermining that control. It also makes me wonder how many people are overweight because of "emotional issues" that wouldn't be issues if they were eating a different proportion of nutrients (even South Beach was too high-carb for me. I have portion-control issues even with "good carbs" in comparison to a lower carb diet).
I think physiology plays a bigger role than anyone has assumed. I think "willpower" is over-rated.
Warning: My post talks about a lot of trigger foods.
I'm not sure if I ever was a binge eater. I have definitely had those moments where all I want is food, food, food, and I remember eating a ton of bad processed salty food because I loved it (frozen pizzas, frozen burritos, huge plates of chicken nuggets with ranch, ramen, easy cheese with ritz, doritos, the list goes on). I don't think I necessarily binged on it, I just ate a lot more than I needed and it was all unhealthy carby food. I do, however, remember bringing large amounts of food in my room at night and eating it all at once. If my family would order pizza, I'd eat 3 or 4 slices at dinner and then eat a few more slices later in the night after it got cold. I can't even imagine how many carbs/calories/fat I was consuming every day.
So, yeah, I'd say that I became fat from my love of food, but I did have an unhealthy obsession with it. I'd think about it all the time, and get upset if my family went to a restaurant without me. Since starting Atkins, that has ALL GONE AWAY. I've "cheated" a couple of times: Once when a friend was visiting, I had a cheese enchilada dinner (one of my old favorites) and some candy/pringles. It wasn't even really all that exciting and if I recall correctly I didn't even eat all of the enchiladas. Another cheat was Thanksgiving, and also when I was staying with the friend I mentioned before I had a few off-plan things like chicken nuggets from Chik Fil A and Wendy's. On my birthday I had a couple of slices of pizza and for dessert I had a sugar-free carrot cake made with natural apple sauce, carrots, raisins, and almond flour (off plan but not as bad as the real thing, plus the slices of pizza were small).
I enjoyed my cheats, but I realize that I don't have the same obsession with food that I used to have. Sometimes I stress over eating too much or the wrong things, but all in all I have it pretty much together...except the past couple of weeks which have been stressful so I haven't been eating nearly enough. That's a whole other story, though, and has nothing to do with my WOE.
All of my long food stories aside, my main point was yes, I see where you're coming from. I got fat because I love and was even obsessed with food. I also lost weight because very low carb (Atkins) helps me lose that obsession.
How I got fat...
With as much as I have to lose, I'll have lots of time to practice.
