You got it! But with the economic crisis there, you've lost your life savings when your new Greek-owned bank goes kerplunk.

I wish I had pretty fingernails.

Granted! But your all your keratin is redirected to your fingernails to keep them shiny and pretty so all your hair falls out and now you're bald with no eyebrows.

I wish I could hit my goal weight by next month.

You do, but then your metabolism became so low that you would have to live on 500 calories a day for the rest of your life to keep your weight from skyrocketing higher than before... Good luck on that one!!

I wish I could own my own house.

Granted, but it turns out to be the home that inspired the movie The Poltergeist and the spirits are angrier than ever.

I wish my dog was obedient.

Granted! Too bad he only obeys commands he hears on TV.

I wish I could own my own sucessful company.

Poof! Granted! But it's a 1-900 phone sex company and you're the sole owner/operator.

I wanna win the next Powerball lottery!

You win! Unfortunately your accountant runs off with the entire thing right afterward!

I wish my hair was longer.

Granted, but it's the hair in your ears.

I wish I actually enjoyed exercise.

Granted! But the only exercise you enjoy is channel surfing.

I wish my back would stop hurting :(

Granted!

But now you are so flexible your only option for employment is to join the circus.

I wish... all my wishes could come true.

granted, but because you can now make wishes come true, you must become a genie to make others wishes come true. Welcome to your new magic lamp...is it a bit cramped in there?

I wish my cholesterol was lower

Granted! But now you are on a severe low fat diet limiting your fat to 5 grams per day.

I wish i could get thin eating chocolate cake

you can eat all the chocolate cake you want for the rest of your life without gaining so much as an ounce, but you're allergic to chocolate.


i wish i had a wallet that gave me unlimited money whenever i need it.

Granted, but your wallet charges you a 25% interest fee every time you take an amount out.

I wish I could win the lottery and quit my job.

Granted, but you lose all of your money in a year due to a bad investment and your company won't hire you back.


i wish i had a magic box, about the size of a cigar box, and anything i put inside of it will duplicate overnight.