I guess it all depends on a person's definition of a 'sheep' and 'lion'. I have respect for those who honor their bodies, as well as those who sacrifice their bodies to help others. I feel sadness for those who disrespect their bodies' needs in attempt to earn honor and respect. I believe there are better ways. JMO; to each his own.
I don't see how they are disrespecting their bodies. If a person with, say, an elite marathon build was truly unhealthy, they'd pass out in the first mile instead of after 26. I'm a powerlifter who can lift 200lbs easily at my weight but would pass out at 1 mile. We all have our own ways to respect our bodies. To me, to disrespect it, would be to do what I used to do, which is eat chips all day sitting on a couch. To each their own indeed.
This is the story of my @#$(*& life. It's almost as if, since you're already at a healthy weight, you shouldn't even talk about losing weight. How dare you, you must be so vain, or you have some ED, *rolls eyes*.
This is why I can never, EVER talk about my weight loss journey of over 5 years, in public, or even with my best friend, who is morbidly obese. Really, I've had to change my entire diet and started weight training, it's an every day battle. What makes my efforts less legitimate than theirs? Who says that my battle is less hard? Why can't everyone just be supportive because -oh my gosh, big surprise- our goal is the same: losing weight?!? GAHH!!!
I live far away from my family but my roommate really isn't the most supportive! She's very thin ( the type of person who really doesn't eat a lot but eats junk all the time ) and keeps on encouraging me to eat with her! Problem is I have trouble not binging if there's some types of food in the house and it makes it so much harder for me because she buys bad food. Then, she'll guilt trip me into eating it saying stuff like " oh come on, you can't always limit yourself" OR when I tell her I'm having a hard time with cravings she says stuff like " well if you really like something and it makes you happy you should just have it". that's the worst kind of logic when I'm weak and need support! I've tried to tell her about it but she just doesn't get it. it's hard to live with someone who's not supportive so I totally get it!! I guess all you can do is stay strong and try to explain to people who don't support you that they don't need to understand they just need to respect your choices.
Sometimes people try to get you to eat or do xyz because they are trying to send the message (right or wrong) that you are fine the way you are .
I have been told my several people I do not need to lose anymore weight and that I am to thin ,fine at the weight I'm at...I basically take it under advisement and then I continue doing whatever I have planned.
We have to be Brave enough to Sail our own course.
I DO NOT LIVE MY LIFE ON POPULAR CONSENSUS !
I also do not feel compelled to engage a person that has no power or consequence in my plans.....in other words I don't sweat the small stuff!
Hey my own sweet mom told me as she is laying in her hospital bed ..honey don't lose anymore weight your looking bad in the face. Later that day her Doctor which is our family Doctor too and told me I looked Awesome!
I just let people give me their advice and or opinions and let them know it's something I will consider ...and if it's valid Point I take it under advisement and if not a dispose of it like yesterday's thrash!
I have a high level of not letting things get to me...I believe and trust my own instincts so ...I push forward!
This model has served me well in life...
I was brought up in an era where common sense was stressed...
I know I have a good head on my shoulders so I am not easily swayed by others opinions.
Hope this make sense.
Only we have the power to sabotage ourselves by not doing what we know is right, and try to appease others for whatever reason.
Roo2
I get support from my fiance's parents but my mother makes comments about my weight loss like "you are too thin!" Which is a.) not true, I'm still well within a healthy weight range for my body type, and b.) frustrating to me! She is overweight and I think she is concerned for me because at one point I lost a ton of weight in an unhealthy way. But she isn't factoring in that that weight loss was caused by an emotionally abusive relationship and a desire to be thinner than the girl my then-bf was cheating on me with. Now, I'm losing weight because I want to feel fabulous for my wedding! I'm counting calories and making sure I eat enough, plus going to the gym on a regular basis. I'm NOT starving myself and I'm still eating things I enjoy! I just want her to recognize that although I am losing weight, it is for a good reason and in a healthy way.
Yes I noticed this when I lost weight and it really made me uncomfortable! I am already a kind of shy person who doesn't like too much attention. I was losing the weight for myself not for praise.
But at first, I noticed it with my coworkers. Someone is always bringing in snacks and desserts. We are always having a team potluck or ordering out together. So when I starting saying no I got all kinds of comments like "omg, one piece of pizza/cake/etc will not hurt u!", "are you on a diet? (with an eye roll)"
and once the weight starting coming off it got worse! Don't get me wrong, most people's comments were positive "wow, you look great" and etc. but some of my coworkers made it a point everyday to say how thin I was getting. One girl actually told me I should stop working out because black guys don't want a girl with no meat on her and that i was going to lose my butt. I told her off right then and there and said "my bf has loved me at my heaviest and my thinnest, and i'm not worried about anyone's opinion but his and mine". Needless to say she never said anything else about it.
Also, i noticed people do get really offended when you reject their food. We would have dinner with my bf's mom often who is also somewhat weight conscious. However, if I said I wasn't eating or had already eaten, it was a little awkward because I was not eating the family meal. I get it because someone has taken the time to cook with you in mind but I still had to stick to my guns. And eating at my grandmother's was even worse. She cooks old southern style food. The good stuff like mac n cheese, ham, stuffing, fried chicken,etc (basically nothing healthy) and I would lie and say I just ate so she wouldn't feel bad or keep forcing a plate on me :/
Overall, it is discouraging because I don't understand why people feel they have the right to comment on something that has no effect on them whatsoever. Maybe its jealousy but even at my heaviest I never made negative comments to those who were getting in shape. If anything, it just made me think "I really need to get back in the gym."
Last edited by BeautifulBrownT; 04-28-2013 at 08:53 PM.
Also, i noticed people do get really offended when you reject their food. We would have dinner with my bf's mom often who is also somewhat weight conscious. However, if I said I wasn't eating or had already eaten, it was a little awkward because I was not eating the family meal. I get it because someone has taken the time to cook with you in mind but I still had to stick to my guns. And eating at my grandmother's was even worse. She cooks old southern style food. The good stuff like mac n cheese, ham, stuffing, fried chicken,etc (basically nothing healthy) and I would lie and say I just ate so she wouldn't feel bad or keep forcing a plate on me :/
I have this same problem with my boyfriend's family. They are all huge food-pushers, and easily offended when food isn't accepted. Of course, all the women in his family are also naturally skinny, athletic, and generally petite, which already makes me feel a bit uncomfortable eating around them.
Basically every time we visit his mom she makes macaroni and cheese, lasagna, pizza-bread (which is basically pizza with no sauce..) etc. and since I'm low-carb, I really can't/don't want to eat any of it, but she gets so easily offended and makes such a big deal about it that I normally take some and push it around on my plate. Sometimes my boyfriend, who is supportive, will eat some of it off my plate.
Beyond that most of my friends/family are very supportive of my fitness goals, though I am very careful to avoid talking about "losing weight" and instead talk about "getting fit" ie. being able to run longer distances/faster, or having better muscle definition. Weight and pounds and diets tends to lead to "You're already pretty thin..."
I have one or two friend who can be kind of disparaging about my weight/fitness goals. With one, I think it's out of competition and her own insecurities. We are very similar sizes, and I think as I continue to get thinner/have more muscle definition/etc. it makes her feel bad about herself and/or she feels like I am looking down on her because of her "inferior physique" even though I am really not concerned with anyone else's fitness goals but my own (or in regards to supporting them when they ask/need support).
4-5 years ago when I was in college, my roommate and some of my college friends gave me a lot of crap about weight loss (they were all larger than I was and didn't understand why I bothered when I was already "skinny") which just made me hide my dieting/workouts and feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. I'm glad I'm past this point and comfortable being myself and not hiding my fitness goals etc.
