You know this thread fascinates me because I've now been on both sides of the spectrum. It's almost harder being a slimmer person still trying to lose "vanity" lbs. In the last few months I've noticed I've been getting a lot less support on the other forums and I've actually started posting less about my issues. I've even been pm'd by another member telling me that I was obsessed with weight loss and needed to take a break. I was pretty shocked by this. For one thing I'm at the top of my ideal weight range and for another as a pp said it's all relative and no one knows what it's like to live in your body but you. As long as our goals aren't unrealistic and we are reaching them in a safe fashion (i.e., eating enough, working out properly) then it's no one's business what reason we have for our goal weight. Honestly I'm not even sure what my goal weight is anymore and I'm just taking it 5 lbs at a time.
But I still have to say I'm pretty disappointed by the change in support as my weight gets lower. I just find it pretty strange that we're just supposed to accept "good enough" and that it's outrageous for us to want to be the best we can be. I'm kind of all over the place with this post, but I guess this is kind of new territory for me.
Lots of good replies already, and I unfortunately don't have time right now to read through them all. So sorry if I'm repeating points.
I get this a lot. When I order a salad and everyone else gets pasta. When I decline a bagel or a snack or anything else. When I say I'd rather have this over that and people ask why and I say "less calories." People cooonstantly tell me I'm thin enough or even TOO thin.
I'm not trying to lose anymore weight right now (although I got the same "you're skinny enough already" treatment when I still had 10lbs to lose...so I know the feeling). But, as many of you know, maintenance is 99% the same as losing. I still count calories, still watch what I eat, and yes, still fuss over it. To maintain the weight of a 128lb person, is a lot different than maintaining the weight of a 180lb person. I still eat about 1500cal on average to maintain.
I have a much larger friend who is also working on losing. We've been friends since I was at my highest weight, and we kind of forged our friendship through the weight loss journey. It was something we shared. Now, however, she sees me as a skinny person and she gets irritated when I bring weight, weight loss, calories, etc up. Even though I'm maintaining, it's still a big part of my life.
I understand you completely, and I'm SO happy to have found this forum I don't think it was here last time I was active on this site. I am not overweight either. My BMI does fall into the healthy range. But, I know what I have looked like before. I don't feel great about my body, I dislike the sizes that I wear. I could definitely lose 20- 25 lbs. and still be in my healthy BMI range. However, when I talk about wanting to lose weight, my friends & family tend to be unhelpful. But most of the people I talk to are in the same boat, or carry their weight a little bit differently, and I think its hard for them to see me taking an initiative when they are not. I'm almost positive its a jealousy issue that keeps them from being supportive.
I dont think that you're being unjustified, and this is comming from me, all 235lbs of me. I know that if i was uncomfortable with my weight even once i'd hit "goal", I would want to continue untill i was comfortable with myself, and still healthy. Just like i would stop loosing if I was happy with myself before I hit "goal". Losing weight for yourself is the BEST reason to do it!
Good luck btw
I am another person who falls in the healthy range for my height. My weight flucuates 5-7 lbs based on the quality of the foods I am eating. So when I put on a couple pounds I do feel "gross" but it's because of WHAT I am eating as well and the weight gain it caused.
I am 5'7" and would love to weigh 130. I like the featherweights forum for the encouragement it offers!
I love reading all the responses to the original post. It just goes to show that we are all so different and have a personal best type of goal. As you can see from my height (5'10") I've taken alot of the you don't need to.... all the time. But there comes a time when your body lets you know that this is not where you should be. I'm 53 and menopause has thrown me a "curve' literally. One day ( I mean almost overnight) I could not zip my jeans. Then I remember that my older sis had said "her sand had shifted" There was no difference in the # an the scale but all of a sudden my waist was larger. Yay for low rise jeans. I've been wearing them ever since!
This only made it easier for me to ignore my body (I'm a pear shape) and now I look at my 91 year old mother and do not want the health issues that she has. I'm not looking at unrealistic goals here, At age 36 after the birth of my 2nd child I weighed 128 and I felt great then. I just want to be strong and healthy when I'm old, so I can play with my grand kids and still do what I want to do. Thanks for the support and understanding. You are all amazing and I hope to post some good progress reports soon.
Absolutely. I always wonder if I could really ever be as small as some women my height get at certain weights, simply because I have such a thick waist (le sigh). It sucks because a bulky midsection is what usually makes someone look fat, and possibly fatter than they could look if the fat was better distributed. I'm the only person I know who can lose 30 pounds and still wear her fat pants. Seriously. The work pants I was wearing at 176 should NOT even remotely fit at 148. I'm just sayin'.
Hi, I just noticed this while reading through, and wanted to comment that I'm someone who stores their fat in their belly too, and going down from 205 to 160 or so I only lost two sizes. After 150, my sizes suddenly started dropping (at 150 I was a size 12, at 140 a size 6). Don't lose hope!
All I have to say is thank you, thank you, thank you. I just lost 10lbs over the course of a year (just broke the 140's!) and everyone keeps telling me that I should be "done" losing weight. I've tried explaining that I just want to maintain a healthy diet and stay physically strong and healthy...but it's also a matter of being comfortable in my own skin, if I can put it that way. And the last time I was strong, fit, and healthy, I was about 122!
Anyway, it's really nice to know that I'm not the only one out there
to everyone thanking me for posting this...you're very welcome! I'm happy that people can relate to what I'm feeling & if anybody ever needs support on the side, feel free to pm me.
You know this thread fascinates me because I've now been on both sides of the spectrum. It's almost harder being a slimmer person still trying to lose "vanity" lbs. In the last few months I've noticed I've been getting a lot less support on the other forums and I've actually started posting less about my issues. ...
But I still have to say I'm pretty disappointed by the change in support as my weight gets lower. I just find it pretty strange that we're just supposed to accept "good enough" and that it's outrageous for us to want to be the best we can be. I'm kind of all over the place with this post, but I guess this is kind of new territory for me.
This. Sometimes I feel completely skipped over, like my thoughts and issues don't matter just because I'm not 100 pounds heavier. I don't get why people can't grasp that we're all here to try and better ourselves. If bettering ourselves for our own personal standards means going for a weight that other people deem too low, what of it? What business is it of mine if someone has a goal weight that I think is too high? Sometimes I even catch myself thinking that, but then I remind myself that their goals are not my business -- my only business is being respectful and offering support to them when I can.
^ It doesn't bother me at all. For the most part I think people have a pretty skewed idea of size because people as a whole are larger today than they used to be. Smaller people seem extra small by comparison.
As to higher weight goals, I think that when you are larger it is hard to imagine that you might actually be a small framed person underneath. Many people assume they are big boned and couldn't possibly get down beyond a certain weight. But, as they lose weight and their new body emerges, it is not uncommon for a person to realize he/she is smaller than suspected and to then reevaluate goals. This, too, goes back to the size of this country and of the world, I think. People just have no concept of how small so many of us are underneath the excess weight.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 10-14-2010 at 06:56 PM.
as someone who is FAR from a "featherweight" I can tell you, I am not at all offended. I think that our weight and how we feel about it, and what we look like is a personal thing. Who is to say that my 165lbs that I want to lose does not affect me in the same way that someone elses 15. At the end of the day, if we all feel bad about our weight, appearance and health, that is what matters. Not the number.
As to higher weight goals, I think that when you are larger it is hard to imagine that you might actually be a small framed person underneath. Many people assume they are big boned and couldn't possibly get down beyond a certain weight. But, as they lose weight and their new body emerges, it is not uncommon for a person to realize he/she is smaller than suspected and to then reevaluate goals. This, too, goes back to the size of this country and of the world, I think. People just have no concept of how small so many of us are underneath the excess weight.
This is such a good point. It's part of why I'm so nervous about moving back home.
I am still heavier than average in Japan, where most women are very similarly built to me (tiny bones, very small wrists/ankles/feet etc) yet weigh 20 lbs less than I do. That sort of keeps me in check.
When I go back to the U.S. I'll be wearing small sizes - XS in stores with major vanity sizing - and I'm worried that the "good enough" feeling of being smaller than average + people complimenting me/haranguing me for watching what I eat will prevent me from ever getting where I want to.
As to higher weight goals, I think that when you are larger it is hard to imagine that you might actually be a small framed person underneath. Many people assume they are big boned and couldn't possibly get down beyond a certain weight. But, as they lose weight and their new body emerges, it is not uncommon for a person to realize he/she is smaller than suspected and to then reevaluate goals.
THIS IS SO TRUE! (sorry for the all caps but YEAH!) For so long I said, "I'm a big girl, I've got broad shoulders, big bones, big quad muscles, big butt muscles etc, I don't think I could ever get below 130." Well, guess what? Not true. I saw something the other day about judging the size of your frame based on the circumference of your wrist (not just putting your hand around it, but measuring with a tape) -- guess what -- my wrists say I'm small!
I don't think it was here last time I was active on this site. I am not overweight either. My BMI does fall into the healthy range. But, I know what I have looked like before. I don't feel great about my body, I dislike the sizes that I wear. I could definitely lose 20- 25 lbs. and still be in my healthy BMI range. However, when I talk about wanting to lose weight, my friends & family tend to be unhelpful. But most of the people I talk to are in the same boat, or carry their weight a little bit differently, and I think its hard for them to see me taking an initiative when they are not. I'm almost positive its a jealousy issue that keeps them from being supportive.
Seriously. The work pants I was wearing at 176 should NOT even remotely fit at 148. I'm just sayin'. 
I just lost 10lbs over the course of a year (just broke the 140's!) and everyone keeps telling me that I should be "done" losing weight. I've tried explaining that I just want to maintain a healthy diet and stay physically strong and healthy...but it's also a matter of being comfortable in my own skin, if I can put it that way. And the last time I was strong, fit, and healthy, I was about 122! 
