do you ever feel like your weight-loss isn't justified? like everybody nagging at you is right when saying, "you don't need to lose any more weight?" I'm at a healthy weight, I look good(not that I can see) & there are no major flaws with my physical appearance. So why am I trying to lose weight? ...is it vain just to WANT to be slimmer, just for the sake of yourself?
Sometimes I feel like a fool posting on a weight-loss forum, when I haven't much I want to lose & haven't any I need to lose. I've only posted on here a few times...mostly because I'm nervous of how others on here might take it. Will somebody twice my weight think I'm mocking the website, or them, to post MY insecurities? Will they resent me for hating something they'd love to have?...I'll look at the tickers & see most of the people started heavier than my heaviest EVER & want to get down to higher than what I am now. So am I really that distorted? Or are we really all on the same journey together, no matter how big or how small?
Speaking as a larger featherweight , I'm not at all offended by your current weight being less than my interim goal weight. You are right when you say we're all on the same journey - although the issues about tackling the journey are different for those wanting to lose a lot, and those wanting to lose a little.
At your goalweight, I am thin, and I'm only 5'2", so I'm not able to say whether that would be too thin for you, being taller; but if it's a healthy weight for you, go for it, and you'll get lots of support here on this great site. If it's way too low, then yes, maybe you do need to review your body image ~ as we all do, whether we start at 155 or 242.
I think just for the sake of yourself is the best reason to do this. And I'm happy to see someone here who's addressing their weight before it gets out of hand. I ignored smaller weight gains, and I would have been much better off to tackle this sooner, before illness took it out of my hands. As Rosinante cautioned, make sure you're doing it because that's what's healthier for you, not because your body image is warped. If you're eating balanced, nutritious food, you're getting all the nutrients you need, and you continue to have enough energy to do all the things you want to do, then I'm happy to have another person sharing their experiences here!
it's really amazing to have the support of a site like this. At home all I get is people telling me to eat more & lose less. That I'm being stupid & they'd love to have a body like mine.
thank you everybody for your support, & keep posting! I'll try to post more often & fill everybody in more on my journey.
do you ever feel like your weight-loss isn't justified? like everybody nagging at you is right when saying, "you don't need to lose any more weight?" I'm at a healthy weight, I look good(not that I can see) & there are no major flaws with my physical appearance. So why am I trying to lose weight? ...is it vain just to WANT to be slimmer, just for the sake of yourself?
Sometimes I feel like a fool posting on a weight-loss forum, when I haven't much I want to lose & haven't any I need to lose. I've only posted on here a few times...mostly because I'm nervous of how others on here might take it. Will somebody twice my weight think I'm mocking the website, or them, to post MY insecurities? Will they resent me for hating something they'd love to have?...I'll look at the tickers & see most of the people started heavier than my heaviest EVER & want to get down to higher than what I am now. So am I really that distorted? Or are we really all on the same journey together, no matter how big or how small?
I am your height (assuming you are 5'6" ) Not that long ago, I was eating well, running, going to the gym regularly and I weighed 118-121. I looked really good and really healthy, but I have a small frame so that low weight was good on me. When I started to gain weight, I remember 132 being one of my "scary" red-alert weights. (Then it was 142, then 152; don't know what it is about me and the "2"s!). I would loooooove to be back at that weight that I lived most of my adult life. Right now I have a high % of body fat, none of my clothes fit and I don't have a good shape (lots of unhealthy belly fat) But since I am not even considered "overweight" I don't get much sympathy. Either my friends have much more weight to lose or they are naturally skinny and don't have a clue about the work it takes to lose even a pound.
So ... that's the reason to hang out with the featherweights, yay! We may not have much weight to lose but we can understand the difficulties and frustrations of those "vanity" pounds.
As long as you are healthy about your diet and exercise, 120 is a normal weight for someone 5'6". Ha! I just checked on FitDay and the range they give is 114.6-154.9 for "healthy weight". So stay healthy, post here and your body; listen to it and see if it wants to go down to 120. Maybe it will be happier at a higher weight with less fat/more muscle, ya never know.
congratulations on your losses so far - you've come a long way!!
Last edited by EmmaD; 09-01-2010 at 10:14 PM.
Reason: op changed height to 5'7"... oh wait it's back to 5'6"
I never felt my weight loss wasn't justified and I started at a size 2. *shrugs* I knew I was eating plenty throughout my weight loss and had a goal in the acceptable range; and I lost weight every week and have kept it off without doing any more exercise than I have done for the past 20 years, and while continuing to eat more than 2,000 calories a day, so clearly I was not trying to ask my body to weigh less than it could handle. (A good test for me came last week. I worked so many hours I could not work out at all, and I also didn't get enough sleep, but I didn't gain weight.) I only think it becomes unreasonable when one has to go to herculean efforts like eating far too little or working out far too much to keep weight off. That is a red flag that one is not meant to weigh that little.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 08-29-2010 at 02:42 PM.
I've felt the same way as you do...actually, I still do! I've lost 30lbs, but even when I was at 160, several people ignored me in other sections or they would constantly correct me or in their own way, bring me down. I'm not losing weight to be stick skinny, I'm losing so I can live a happier and healthier life.
I don't think your goal weight is too low. I'm an inch taller than you, and my goal for now is 125...and if my body allows it, I might go for 120 as well. But I'm not going to force myself to do that.
I think the most difficult thing about weight loss is when people close to you don't notice your efforts, or they tell you that you don't need to lose. It's beyond frustrating!!
Keep posting on here! We can give eachothrr support, which is what all of us need!
Throwing in my $.02 (I like the idea of being a "larger featherweight," Rosinante!) one of the things I love about 3FC is how supportive the community is of everybody, regardless of differences in starting weight, goal weight, way of eating, exercise . . . whoever comes here gets support and encouragement and sensible, practical advice.
I have been on and off the forums for a while now, at times more active than others, but I don't recall seeing much if any "thin bashing." I'm sure it happens to some extent but I don't think it's common on 3FC and would love to think that it would get shut down quickly if it did happen.
As for myself, I will admit to feeling concern when I read the occasional poster who says something like, "I'm going to eat 500 calories and exercise 2 hours a day and lose 150 pounds in a month," (hyperbole, of course). Other than that, healthy goals are nobody's business but your own, and we're all here to help one another meet them.
Here's another thought, and a possible new can of worms: How much of people encouraging you to not lose any more weight is due to jealousy, do you think? I only ask because I am still well in the overweight BMI range, but my sister is already starting to discourage me in subtle ways. I'm now smaller than she is for the first time in our lives. Hmmmmm.
I don't know.... I think a lot of it really has to do with the fact that we are so much larger as a country—as a world—now. I think perspective gets skewed: people really do think that you are thinner than you are when you get into the healthy weight range.
I'm not saying jealousy isn't a factor: I'm sure it can be, and especially within families and among friends. But all the same, I think people are often being completely honest when they say a person doesn't need to lose more weight. To them, in this plus-sized world, that person is already very thin.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 08-29-2010 at 06:03 PM.
Petite Powerhouse - That's a very good point. One of the things I have learned in this journey is that my perception of my weight/size is TOTALLY off, and the same is often true for my perception of others. I think that makes it even more imperative that we keep judgmental comments regarding others' sizes out of it.
I'm glad you brought this up. As one of the women with more to lose from the start, the only thing that aggravates me from our smaller posters is when they call themselves names. It's hard for a 200+ pound woman to see a 150 pound woman or smaller call herself a cow. A more appropriate place to take a comment like that is probably the Featherweights area. It's hard to see any woman of any size call herself names, but a smaller woman who calls herself a cow has essentially just called a large subgroup of larger women than her cows also.
But our weights are very individual things. I remember when my high weight was 145 pounds and I was just as anxious then to get down to 115 or so as I am now to get down to 135. The process was just as difficult then as it is now, though maybe not quite as daunting.
I think people are trying to be kind when they say things like "You don't need to lose another pound." They really have no idea. Only you know that. I think if people start to sit you down and have a serious discussion about your weight, then you might want to consider their impressions because we really are poor judges of ourselves.
My mom told me when I was 235 pounds that there was no way I needed to lose 100 pounds. She had no idea, really. 100 pounds is hard to fathom.
Hippy, I think this is exactly why we have a Featherweights forum. I do post in other sections, but for the most part I stick around here, especially if I am venting frustration or gloating about success.
I have seen a little bit of sniping on other 3FC forums about people trying to lose "vanity pounds." I don't take it personally. For some people here, I'm sure it's very difficult to imagine being 137 pounds, much less being that weight and thinking you need to lose more!
As long as you are eating and exercising in a healthful manner, I don't think you need to justify your goals to anyone (though if friends/relatives voice genuine concern, I think it is appropriate to reassure them). When people have asked if I'm eating enough, I laugh and say, "Go ask my husband. He'll assure you I am eating plenty!" But if someone were seriously concerned, I'd probably show them my food log so they can see all the good stuff I'm eating.
I don't know.... I think a lot of it really has to do with the fact that we are so much larger as a country—as a world—now. I think perspective gets skewed: people really do think that you are thinner than you are when you get into the healthy weight range.
This is pretty much what I was going to say. I lost 80+ pounds (am back to lose some weight I let myself gain back). I was 120 and am 5'3" and took a lot of flack for being "too thin" at that weight .The only person who knows your healthy weight is you, you do not have an unrealistic goal.
Like someone said (sorry forgot who said) as long as you are not starving to loose it. Good luck.
At 130 you were a 2??? OH man. I'm half an inch taller and at 130 I'm still a 9.
I've been a weight lifter and been doing cardio for more than 20 years, so I have a lot of muscle and bone mass. I think that's what makes me weigh more. The fact that we all have different proportions is also what makes me look better lighter than 129, whereas other women my height look great at that weight and higher. It's really amazing how much variation there is in the world that way.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 08-29-2010 at 06:39 PM.
It's pretty clear to me that we all have issues with food and body image, that is why were are here, to try and work through those and live a better life.
Although, on the flip side there is this story:
I do remember having a friend in college who was really upset about herself for gaining 10 or 15 pounds. She would mope about, complaining about how she was "sooooo fat". One day, she was sooooo fat she couldn't fit into any of her dresses for a party that evening. I decided to lend her one of my dresses. She fit perfectly into a dress that was just a little tight on me and continued to complain about how fat she was the whole night.... while wearing my dress!!! I was quite skinny back then, but I did not lend her any more clothes (and she went on to develop a major eating disorder).
too slim to belong?
, I'm not at all offended by your current weight being less than my interim goal weight. You are right when you say we're all on the same journey - although the issues about tackling the journey are different for those wanting to lose a lot, and those wanting to lose a little. 
your body; listen to it and see if it wants to go down to 120. Maybe it will be happier at a higher weight with less fat/more muscle, ya never know. 
She had no idea, really. 100 pounds is hard to fathom.
). I was 120 and am 5'3" and took a lot of flack for being "too thin" at that weight
.The only person who knows your healthy weight is you, you do not have an unrealistic goal. 
