I don't think my weight mataches my body... feeling really self-conscious
I don't mean to whine, and I don't know where else to put this. I felt like it might not go over so well in one of the other forums, and I thought maybe you guys can understand.
Lately, I've really tried to make sure that I'm getting in my exercise and watching what I eat. But I admit, I've been pretty busy, and I know that I haven't eaten as much as I should. So that's probably why the scale has been dropping pretty dramatically lately, and even though that excites me, I guess I kind of feel dumb about it. I'm wondering if I'm losing too fast (then again, I did plateau for like, the first 3.5 weeks of September). And part of me feels like I really don't look like what the number indicates on the scale anyway (yeah, it says 134.2, at least right now, but that's not what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel like I look bigger at this weight than I used to in years past, and I really don't like that.)
On top of that, and maybe this sounds lame, but with the progress I've been making lately, I almost feel like someone here on the forum might not believe me. I know that's stupid, and that I shouldn't care what someone else thinks, but lately I'm feeling really self-conscious and embarrassed about my body, and for some reason have been having negative thoughts toward myself.
Anyway. I'm going to keep working hard. When I first started, 125 seemed like a good, small number. But now that I'm a little under 135, and I see just how big I still am, I realise that maybe I need to rethink my goal and go for 120 or even 115.
I don't know my point here. Yeah, the number on the scale says that I'm making good progress, but that's not how I'm feeling in my head.
I know exactly what you mean! I've made a lot of progress lately, but even though I know that my body is different than it was twenty pounds ago, I have trouble reconciling the number on the scale with what I see in the mirror. I'm beginning to think that it's just becoming so normal to be a bit heavier or even to be overweight in so many places that numbers sound smaller than they actually are. I thought that I would be ... well, not thin, but not chunky at this weight, but instead I find that my hip bones are still lost in a sea of fat.
All that being said, I think that everyone is harder on him or herself than on anyone else. You're definitely making good progress, even if it's not so obvious to you at the moment. You're losing weight, and you're exercising regularly, which has a positive impact on so many things in addition to your weight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fivestone
On top of that, and maybe this sounds lame, but with the progress I've been making lately, I almost feel like someone here on the forum might not believe me. I know that's stupid, and that I shouldn't care what someone else thinks, but lately I'm feeling really self-conscious and embarrassed about my body, and for some reason have been having negative thoughts toward myself.
:
I hope you're not referring to me! I said in another thread that you've been losing weight quickly lately, but I hope you didn't think I thought you were faking (oof what a convoluted sentence). I meant to be congratulatory; my apologies if that didn't come off correctly! In any case, I don't know why anyone wouldn't believe you. Who would waste their time lying on an internet forum? No real point. So why would anyone assume that someone else was doing that?
I'm sorry that you're feeling self-conscious lately! You look great in your avatar, and it sounds like you're getting ever closer to your goal. Did something happen lately to make you question your progress?
Anyways, I fear that I am rambling, so I'm off to bed! I hope that you feel better about things tomorrow. And remember, you can always reevaluate once you get to goal if you still feel bigger than you'd like to be. It sounds like you just need a break from thinking about weight loss for a little while (not a break from wl itself, just from worrying about it). Maybe you could treat yourself to something fun in the next few days.
Thanks for your post, Nienna! It really meant a lot to me. I'm glad there's someone else who can relate to what I was saying. It's hard to internalise that there's a difference, but maybe it will just take time to process. I can definitely feel a change inside my body -- I felt that even when I was plateauing -- so maybe I can focus on feeling more toned and stronger and healthy.
I totally wasn't referring to your comments in the other thread! I really, really appreciated the encouragement. I happened across a thread in the 100 pound club that really kind of shocked me. I mean, I know that the poster didn't mean to, but other people in her thread were saying that some people probably photoshopped photos, and that unless people posted pictures, they really didn't believe them and the weight loss they claimed to have. So I really was feeling self-conscious, especially because I have dropped a lot lately. But I think you're right -- why would people lie? Personally, I was embarrassed to post that I allowed myself to get up to almost 187 pounds, instead of the 160 that I thought that I was. I was embarrassed to post the photos of that. But as I've been losing, I've been happy to share progress -- through posts, ticker, and pictures -- with the forum that helped me make the progress! This place really helped me stay OP, and I appreciate that very much.
I know I've been making progress... I just thought that I would look different once I got to this weight. But I will keep going, and reevaluate if I need to once I reach goal!
Thanks for the compliment about the avatar. I look a lot more polished there than in some of the photos I've posted!
Thanks for your kindness in general. Your post really lifted my spirits.
I don't think the poster meant that at all. It was her tongue-in-cheek and frustrated way of saying she was at a loss to understand how others could achieve what she had not. I truly believe she did not intend to offend, to suggest that anyone had actually photoshopped their results.
Personally, I lost more than 20 pounds in about 2 1/2 months, and I started out pretty light and I ate a lot, so losing weight fast is not surprising to me.
As far as how you look to yourself, has your brain caught up with your weight loss? Sometimes it can take time. And, personally, pictures are much more revealing to me than mirrors. When I look in the mirror I don't see how thin I am or how much muscle tone I have. I have been lifting weights for 20 years, but I still don't see it. But then I will see a picture and think, Wow! I look like a completely different person—not the person I see in the mirror at all.
My brain just isn't wired quite right. I've had this problem for 25 years. But, since I know that, I use pictures to chart progress because I know they work for me.
P.S. You really do look great in your avatar. Lovely!
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 10-20-2010 at 06:38 PM.
Thanks, Petite Powerhouse -- I always enjoy your comments in various threads.
Actually, I'm not sure if my brain has caught up after all. I see the number and for a moment in the mirror, I feel thin. But then that all changes a few moments later. Guess I need to be more patient with the process.
As for the other thread, I know that that wasn't what the OP meant -- but then some other posters came in on the later pages and said that they doubted some people, especially the people that posted weights but never showed pictures. It just kind of shocked me, because so far on 3FC I've seen a lot of support -- never any doubt. I guess I just worried that maybe the same people I'm trying to encourage/be encouraged by are doubting me or other people or something. But now I'm not worried so much about that, because I think the vast majority of people here take people's word at face value.
Right there with you, fivestone. I weigh 131-132 now and when I look at old pictures of when I weighed 131-132 6 years ago I feel like I looked SO MUCH SMALLER in the old pictures. Obviously we are making progress but it's so gradual that there is no magic moment of realization. The absolute worst is when someone tags you in an unflattering photo on Facebook or something and you think "oh my god have I even lost any weight?!"
As for the other thread, I know that that wasn't what the OP meant -- but then some other posters came in on the later pages and said that they doubted some people, especially the people that posted weights but never showed pictures. It just kind of shocked me, because so far on 3FC I've seen a lot of support -- never any doubt.
Wow.... I didn't see that part of the thread. I can see where that would rankle. Personally, I don't doubt anyone here. There are many reasons a person might not want to post pictures.
Oy, that thread! LOL! This is a case of how one negative can negate a whole 50 positives. Yes, a few people did state that they doubt some of us. That doesn't surprise me. We all think very differently. BUT, the vast majority of folks here do take us all at face value. What other choice do we have?
I'm wondering, are you strength training? I'm just wondering because I'm on the other end of that spectrum. I feel like I look smaller than my weight would suggest and I strength train pretty hard. (I have NOT seen your pictures, though I DID see your thread about your successful loss!! Sometimes I can't view pictures. I'm curious to look when I get home. )
ETA: Also, I have noticed lately, as I have gotten smaller, that my inches lost do not line up with my pounds lost. If I am losing on the scale, I often do not notice a difference in my body. If I am losing inches, often that's happening while the scale remains flat. I do not understand and maybe it's all in my head...maybe I'm looking for it, but that's what seems to happen. It's almost like we loose the inches, the fat goes somewhere else temporarily where it's stored (thus still showing up on the scale), then suddenly we lose that fat through our urine so the scale shows a drop. I don't know...just a theory.
Right there with you, fivestone. I weigh 131-132 now and when I look at old pictures of when I weighed 131-132 6 years ago I feel like I looked SO MUCH SMALLER in the old pictures. Obviously we are making progress but it's so gradual that there is no magic moment of realization. The absolute worst is when someone tags you in an unflattering photo on Facebook or something and you think "oh my god have I even lost any weight?!"
Totally! Finally in the last few days, I feel like my face has started to shift and look thin, but definitely sometimes when I look at my body, or the photos, I'm like... OK, am I delusional, or is the scale broken? I guess it will just take time to get used to the change mentally.
By the way, you look really pretty in your avatar!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliana
I'm wondering, are you strength training? I'm just wondering because I'm on the other end of that spectrum. I feel like I look smaller than my weight would suggest and I strength train pretty hard.
Also, I have noticed lately, as I have gotten smaller, that my inches lost do not line up with my pounds lost. If I am losing on the scale, I often do not notice a difference in my body. If I am losing inches, often that's happening while the scale remains flat. I do not understand and maybe it's all in my head...maybe I'm looking for it, but that's what seems to happen. It's almost like we loose the inches, the fat goes somewhere else temporarily where it's stored (thus still showing up on the scale), then suddenly we lose that fat through our urine so the scale shows a drop. I don't know...just a theory.
I'm not strength training, but I do a whole bunch of push-ups! Maybe I should get some weights, though.
I know what you're saying about the loss. Seriously, sometimes the numbers drop on the scale, but I really don't see much of a difference. Finally now that I'm down in the lower 130s, I see more of the loss, but for a while I was there but didn't see it. Ah well! Hopefully I'll be in the 120s soon and it won't be as much of an issue!
Do you have any photos from higher weights you can compare with? I really only ever think "wow, I HAVE lost weight!" when I look at photos from earlier in the year when there was a lot more of me.
Remember, hard work and scales and inches don't lie!
5 stone me and you are >here<. i still feel like i look about 160-170ish.. if it wasnt for pictures, idk what i would do!i compare them month by month..i also do youtube videos and the comments i get from people saying how smaller i am looking and each video is very encouraging cuz i sure cant see it! def try more strength training(should be taking my own advice lol) it will make a big difference in your "lean ness". i chckd out your pics and im soo jealous of your tummy! you are doiing great and i can clearly see your weight loss. i was told it was cause we look in the mirror everyday, that its hard to notice gradual changes..but from another person's eyes..they can!
I don't think my weight mataches my body... feeling really self-conscious
I hope you're not referring to me! I said in another thread that you've been losing weight quickly lately, but I hope you didn't think I thought you were faking (oof what a convoluted sentence). I meant to be congratulatory; my apologies if that didn't come off correctly! In any case, I don't know why anyone wouldn't believe you. Who would waste their time lying on an internet forum? No real point. So why would anyone assume that someone else was doing that?
Yes, a few people did state that they doubt some of us. That doesn't surprise me. We all think very differently. BUT, the vast majority of folks here do take us all at face value. What other choice do we have? 
I do not understand and maybe it's all in my head...maybe I'm looking for it, but that's what seems to happen. It's almost like we loose the inches, the fat goes somewhere else temporarily where it's stored (thus still showing up on the scale), then suddenly we lose that fat through our urine so the scale shows a drop. I don't know...just a theory.
