July 22, 2005

Wounded Oysters


Read:
Genesis 41:46-57


God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction. —Genesis 41:52


Bible In One Year: Isaiah 46-48

When seemingly needless suffering invades our lives, we often ask ourselves, "Who needs all this grief?" But consider, for a moment, the origin of pearls.

Each pearl is formed by an oyster's internal response to a wound caused by an irritant, such as a grain of sand. Resources of repair rush to the injured area. The final result is a lustrous pearl. Something beautiful is created that would have been impossible without the wound.

In today's Bible reading, we see Joseph in a position of influence, a position God soon used to feed surrounding nations and Joseph's family during famine. But how did he become influential? It began with a wound—being sold into slavery (Genesis 39)—which produced a pearl of usefulness. Because Joseph drew on God's resources when humiliated, he became better, not bitter. He named his second son Ephraim, which means "twice fruitful," and he said, "God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction" (41:52).

Author Paul E. Billheimer says of Joseph, "If human pity could have rescued him from the sad part of his life, the glorious part that followed would have been lost." So if you're suffering, remember: No wounds, no pearls! —Joanie Yoder


If we accept adversity,
Enduring every pain,
Then we will learn what we should know;
Our grief will turn to gain. —Sper

Adversities are often blessings in disguise.

Yesterday I shared with a another group of Christian ladies (a group that prays for each other and encourages each other re weight loss) about what has been happening in my life - as of July 21. This morning when I got up, I had my devotional time and spent my usual time just plan talking with the Lord - and then went to see what the scale would say - and I came back to the bedroom praising the Lord - the scale had moved - in the direction I knew it should move and showed that I was down just a bit from the beginning of July. I know that things are changing in my life because of obedience to the Lord and reaching out to others that suffering - doing what I can when I can even though I am suffering a great amount myself. Anyway I have since yesterday been led to post here what I had shared with these other great ladies - if God can work miracles in my life - He can in yours too. So please read on as to where I was at as of July 21, 2005

Isn't it strange that we will continue to do something that we wish
not to do. I see this in my problem with my weight and what I plan
to eat and what I do eat.

I have been overweight for far to many years now to count - and over
the years I just kept on adding more and more weight and kept on
saying 'I don't like this extra weight I am going to change and lose
it all.' But here I am now over 30 years of carrying extra weight
to the extent now that it is just not 'a little extra weight' but it
is now an obsesity problem. And with each year I would be told by
the doctors that I was healthy but was taken a chance of harming my
health - possibility of things like cancer, diabets, etc.

Well it was 5 years ago last week that I was told I had cancer - and
needed immediate surgery. And this time 5 years ago my doctor
called me into his office to give me the date of the surgery - it
would be September 7, 2000. Due to my weight I would have to travel
to another city to have the surgery as the local hospital considers
me to high of a risk for doing surgery - strike one (or maybe it
should be more than that) of the doctors being correct that my
weight was going to be a problem in the future.

Since the initial surgery I have been plagued with numerous other
ailments and as I was thinking last night in bed it has been a long
5 years of generally not feeling well. I am very thankful that I
have been blessed with these years as the Lord could have taken me
home back then - but He didn't. So taking some time last night to
reflec what my life has been life in the past 5 years re my health:

a) had major life threatening surgery to remover cancer
b) during the last 5 years I have GAINED approx. 35 pounds!!
c) have been diagnozed with osteoprosis (Spelling) and from the bone
scan have been told that my bones look like that of a women
approaching the age of 70 - I am only 57!!
d) have had to have eye surgery and in the next year will have to
have the other eye done
e) confirmed that I have IBS - and with the stress of the cancer,
ect, the attacks of this have been more frequent.
f) have now been diagnozed as having acid reflux and am under
doctors watch to see that this not get any worse - have real bad
attacks of 3 - 4 per month - was informed that this could develop
into cancer if not properly controlled.
g) cancer returned and needed 9 weeks of radiation in 2003. Praying
that this will stay in remission as have been told that SHOULD it
return that I can't have radiation again - a person can only have
the radition re cancer once in a life time apparently.
h) have permanent damage from the radiation which has caused a whole
new set of medical problems.

And to all of that we are raising two teenagers one having Down
Syndrome and the other having what is referred to bonding /
attachment disorder which has developed into a child that really
needs a lot of love and supervision but who has rejected all family
and left home not wanting to have anything to do with anyone in
the 'family.'

I am mentioning all of this because I am praising the Lord that I
have been allowed to still be hear in my earthly body so continue
raising my last 'baby' (she is 16 and has Down Syndrome as mentioned
above). I must admit that over the past 5 years I feel that I have
had more days where I have been feeling 'sick' and would cry out 'Oh
only to feel healthy again' - and then I would run to the fridge and
eat - food in turn gave me immediate comfort - and a few days later
when feeling somewhat healthy - not in any overpowering pain - I
would step on the scale and see that I had once again put on more
weight - and again I would run to the fridge because I was feeling
so 'sick' that I overeaten and let myself get out of control once
again.

It has taken me a lot of years, a lot of tears and a lot
of 'stumbling about' to see the pattern I have made for myself -
feel healthy - eat - feel sick - eat - feel stressed - eat - feel
like no one understands - eat - and of course during all of this
time I would talk to the Lord and say 'I really want to lose weight,
please help me - and before the day was over I would - EAT.

This past June I had a further talk to the Lord about this all -
sharing with Him things like -'why am I doing this to myself, why am
I asking for Your help and then running to the fridge.' And it was
at this time that I fell out of bed causing damage to my chest /
ribs - and was given a scare - one that shook me up. This I have
mentioned in a previous post - but needless to say after getting
this scare I cried out to the Lord that I knew I was weak, that I
knew I could not do this on my own, that in the past I would pray
for help, He would point me in the correct direction, giving me all
the information I needed about proper nutrition - why was I not
listening and obeying.'

Well I can say that I have started to 'listen' - am not saying that
the changes are easy or that they are even getting easier - the
temptations actually seem to be increasing rather than decreasing -
and I am now seeing that this is because I am letting 'Satans voice'
into hearing range - and I must admit that when I hear Satan's
advise it seems to much easier to follow - 'You don't need to get up
from the computer / tv and go for a walk / exercise - sit back,
enjoy relaxing, have that piece of cake or whatever, you're not
really hungry but you deserve it - just look at all that you are
going through with raising your kids and health - just sit back and
take a break and have something to eat - you'll feel better because
of this.'

Oh how many times I took that advise and I must say that I have even
taken that advise during the last 2 months on some days - but
because of taking the time every morning to spend with the Lord, I
am not feeling 'guilty/shamed' or any of those other emotions about
the times that I have 'stepped to the left' because I am learning
that when I do take this step my Bible is within reach, I am able to
turn to Christ, tell Him that I am weak, that my plans have taken a
side trip, that I have rebuked Satan - again - that I need Christ's
help to continue rebuking him - and to help through my time of
weakness.

I headed this post 'frustrating month' - because when I look back to
the beginning of June I see that June was a good month with respect
to my weight -- June 1 I weighed in at 296.4 and by June 27 I was
down to 289.3 - and I praised the Lord on July 1 when I weighed in
at 287.3 giving me a total loss of 9.1 pounds. I was feeling so on
fire with the Lord - and was looking ahead thinking 'July 31 is
going to come and I am going to be down another 9.1 pounds!!.

I thought of this today when I checked my weight - I weigh in daily
on my digital scale so that I can record it on Weight Commander -
this morning it told me I was at 288.4 - hmm this is more than I
weighed on July 1 - I went into the bedroom and cried thinking 'This
is not what I planned, I did well in June with 9.1 pounds, I planned
to doe the same in July, I must be failure as I can't do it two
months in a row.' Boy did I get a 'call back' from the Lord. I
have spent a lot of time in prayer today - just plain talking with
the Lord and this is what I believe He told me today:

a) Marilyn you set a goal - you picked a number and with much pride
decided that you were in control and could do it just like you did
in June.

b) Marilyn did you ask Me what My desire was for you for July.

c) Marilyn you have been doing well in coming to talk to Me - I hear
you, I know what you need and want before you tell Me - and I will
give you all you need and desire even that of losing weight whether
it be 9 pounds in one month or 1 pound -

d) Marilyn you need to get more into the Word to see what I say
about a lot of different things - it is not just a number on a scale
that affects your overall health - there are a lot of different
issues that you have to right with - I am here for you - I am
waiting for all these issues and problems you are dealing with - I
will give you what you need each day to handle any of these
problems - just come to Me and ask - please don't turn to the fridge
but rather turn to Me.

Well, after sometime in prayer this morning, I opened my Bible and
this is the first thing that I saw when I opened it - how awesome is
our Lord -as this is what He had me read at that moment:

'We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual. Sold as a
slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I
do not do, but what I hate to do. And if I do what I do not want to
do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself
who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good
lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. FOR I HAVE THE DESIRE TO DO
WHAT IS GOOD, BUT I CANNOT CARRY IT OUT. FOR WHAT I DO IS NOT THE
GOOD I WANT TO DO; NO, THE EVIL I DO NOT WANT TO DO - THIS I KEEP ON
DOING. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who
do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So i find this law
at work. WHEN I WANT TO DO GOOD, EVIL IS RIGHT THERE WITH ME.'


Lord, for all the women here that are doing as I have been doing for
so many years - coming to Your feet with the desire to do what is
right and then getting up only to turn and reach out to the evil
that I do not want to do - I am humbly asking now that You will help
each one of us to realize that we can leave all of the issues and
problems that are making us turn to food at your feet - that You
will releave us of these burdens, that You will direct us as to how
and what we should do but we have to truly believe and trust that we
can really leave them with you - that You will give us peace,
comfort, joy - we just need to step out in faith, leaving all our
baggage behind as we turn over control of our whole life to You.
Amen.

Marilyn: Thank you so much for sharing as you did. You have spoken for so many of us who struggle daily with our weight and even more struggle with "self". I appreciate your honesty. I will pray that you will have victory in your struggle.

Canadianmickey: Praying that you will get this job if you are supposedto get it. Sound like things look really good for that happening.

Gary: That sounds like quite the church dinner. Was it a fundraiser of some sort? We have a spanish ministry at our church and they do a lot of authentic spanish meals as fundraisers.


We're heading out the door to go out for breakfast. I'll talk to you all later.

GOOD MORNING LADIES

It is gorgeous here today, a nice cool breeze~78 in the house but cooler outside. Took the dogs to the store to pick-up the newspaper, now they are off with Angie on their morning walk.

We didn't see BAD NEWS BEARS yesterday after all...we watched the old one on television~~ loved it..again...Amazing how much I forget about the movies I have seen...had totally forgotten that Brandon Cruz from Courtship of Eddie's Father was in the old one...other actors too that went on to do more.

Had pizza then went to Dairy Queen...I had ice cream ...something I rarely do...takes up room for left-over pizza

Did some chores around here yesterday, have more today..

Ron and I will probably head back to California on Monday morning....work for me...I NEED SOME! and getting Ron back to see friends and prepare for school...coming soon.

Angie is staying for a few more weeks...trying to figure out the best situation for the dogs...they will probably stay with her...boy am I gonna miss them!! OH! and ANGIE too

WILMA I think the dinner at church was just a normal thing that the men's group does each month...to be honest I think that is their usual big activity. Hope you had a great breakfast!

MICHELE Enjoy your time with Eric.

SPROUT GREAT message!

AMANDA Things (WE! ) are looking up!

......HAVE A GREAT WEEK~END...

GOOD EVENING EVERYONE!

We went to camp today and picked up our Abbi Girl! She had a great time and really wants to go back next year. Hopefully we'll be able to send all 4 of them next year. Temperatures hovered around 100 - 102 most of the week, but they have a really nice pool so that helped!

Going to Target tomorrow for school supplies! I LOVE this time of year!!

GARY: Have fun in Calif. - don't work too hard! Did I tell you I applied for a job last week? I haven't worked since 1992 and I'm sure I was too old and too fat for the interviewer, but you never know - we need the money badly and God may have big plans for us!

CANADIANMICKY: Still praying for your situation!

SPROUT: Thanks for the beautiful post and prayer - I truly need to remember to let our loving Father run my life and quit taking control - it's quite an issue for me every day.

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

Here a some pics of the community park in our development. It is usually pretty quiet. We haven't seen too many people (kids) playing in the park. They are planning another park in the development when they finish the second phase.

HI GALS

Thought I would check in before I haed back to California tomorrow. I see Angie sent some pictures of the park earlier today.

Went to church this morning and just checking last minute packing issues. Angie will still be here so if I forget anything she can bring it when she comes back home.

Took my godson (my buddy's son~ the one that lost his job here and had to move to Kansas the first week we were here~ brother of my goddaughter, the Navy gal) out to the mexican restaurant we have been going to, he is coming over tonight for tri-tip...we are picking it up at the butcher shop he works at later today.

Talked to my daughter this morning, she called to MAKE SURE her daddy was heading home tomorrow ...she relayed messages from my son ~~SITTING IN MY RECLINER~~ wanting to know if I saw Lance win this morning before church I did...and if the local indoor football team up here won their semi-final championship game last night...they did.

Well outta here for now....if I don't come back today, I will talk to you from California in a few days....

Take care of yourselves and families!!

Prayers for all...Gary

We're ready to head back to California!

But we gotta stay in Washington with Mom!

I'm a little grouchy this morning. DH was awake at 5:30 this a.m. and every noise he made kept waking me up. He's nicely back in bed and settling down and then his parents decide to get up early and leave for home. SO... I am sleep deprived on a Monday morning. I AM NOT a morning person and really need my sleep. It'll take extra effort to not be grouchy at work today. Please pray for me. I know I'll be okay and that I'll sleep tonight but I get thrown so easily if I don't get my rest.

Enough complaining! We did have a nice relaxing weekend and a nice visit with my inlaws. Next weekend is a long weekend here in Canada and I'm looking forward to that. We have a wedding to go to on Saturday and then plan to meet friends on Sunday at a park. Something to look forward to.

Work should be a bit better this week because 2 of the 3 that were gone will be back to work. I now have to train one more person before I go on holidays in 3 weeks. I still tend to stress out too much about work and need to leave more of my concerns in God's hands.

Gary: The pic of your pups is priceless! They look so ready to go for a ride. Have a safe trip!

mom2fivesweeties: I'm glad to hear that Abbi had a great time at camp. I used to love it as a child and so did my kids. Good luck on the job hunting. It's sad sometimes that employers can't see past our sizes and see the potential good employee. Praying for you.

Well, better go get ready for work. Have a wonderful day everyone!

Gary and Angie, what a cute pic of the boys!

Wilma~all i can say is.....MEN??!!

I lost 2 more lbs. last week, so i'm happy about that. Going for a mammogram today, dr. checkup tomorrow, busy week ahead but i'm feeling pretty good and positive about things.

Happy Monday!!

GOOD MORNING!

How are you all this morning? My day started out with an email from the bank telling me I'm overdrawn - This hasn't happened in years and it is so upsetting because with 5 kids every penny counts and those bank fees can kill the budget.

Talk about letting God run your life - I just need to take a deep breath and relax! My heart KNOWS He knows best, but my darn head keeps trying to control, control, control.

GARY: I LOVE your doggies! I hope you don't mind but they are now my wallpaper! My kids want to know their names. I couldn't remember.

Mitchypoo: GREAT job on the weight loss! I definitely need to get back on program!

Wilma: I'll pray for you today - I cannot STAND being tired. My oldest child is 19 now but when he was a baby he didn't sleep through the night until he was two. I had to leave for work at 6:30 in the morning and how I lived for 2 years sleep deprived is beyond me - I could never do it now.

Well, need to get lunch for the littles -

Talk soon!

Lori, sorry about the bummer start to your Monday. I wanted to suggest that you might want to call the bank about the situation and if it has been years you could ask them to consider reducing or overriding the fees, sometimes they will do this and especially if this is a rare occurance. It could be worth the call.

THANK-YOU MICHELE!!

I called them and NO CHARGES!!!

Praise the Lord!! \O/