Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 10-13-2004, 04:22 PM   #1  
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Default Best Way To Give Someone Support

Thought I'd share...... Some times even the simplest word can change the life of a person.


Whats the best way to give someone support.

Helping someone who's in mental distress can range from giving them emotional support (by listening to them and showing them appreciation, for example) to providing them with the practical help they need to live their lives from day-to-day.


Listening

People who are feeling bad often have a need to talk to someone about what they are experiencing. All too often, others find it hard to listen. Instead, they interrupt to talk about themselves or to tell the person what they should do or how they should feel. If you can listen well, the person may be able to talk in a way that could help them feel better. They may express emotions in a physical way: by crying, or getting flustered and agitated, or even by laughing.

Releasing feelings in this way may help them to be more relaxed and to think more clearly. You may need to offer reassurance and encouragement ('I want to hear about it', 'It's good that you're crying'). Asking the right questions can help people to reach the most important things ('What's really bothering you?', 'Why do you think you are feeling like this?').

Listening well does not always mean keeping quiet, but it does mean thinking about how you can help the other person to open up and talk. It's not easy to listen well, but it's always worth making the effort. It can make a significant difference to someone you want to help. It could be that the person you want to help may feel too depressed, scared or untrusting to talk. You can still let them know that they are welcome to talk to you, if and when they want to.

Appreciation

We can all benefit from receiving praise. This particularly applies to someone who has lost their self-confidence. A person who has been used to leading a normal life can find it difficult to give themselves credit for small, but important achievements, such as taking a quarter less of a tranquilliser or travelling a mile on a bus.

Successes such as these need to be recognised for what they are: brave and significant steps on the road back to recovery. Appreciation from you may help them to feel good and be ready to make more progress.

Touch

Being touched may help someone feel safe, secure and loved. It can also help bring buried feelings to the surface; a warming hug can turn tension into tears. Unfortunately, some people may have had such bad experiences of being touched that they find this contact difficult. This is particularly true for women who have been touched by men in ways they have not wanted.

If you can find ways of touching that feel right for both of you, it can be relaxing and reassuring. You might hold the person's hand while they talk, or touch their arm when you say good-bye. You could learn to give a massage to the head, feet, hands or shoulders, where tension builds up. Local colleges may run suitable courses.


Laughter

We feel better after a good laugh, and this applies as much to people who are mentally distressed as to anyone else. You don't always have to be serious to show that you care. Sometimes it's best to do something that helps people forget about their problems for a while. You could go to a film you know they will enjoy, or remind your friend of amusing things you did together. Being light-hearted is different from trying to force someone to 'pull themselves together', which is never useful.


Practical Help


Someone who is feeling bad can find it difficult to do day-to-day tasks like shopping, cooking, cleaning and paying bills. A period of mental distress can create extra work, such as sorting out social security payments. It can be a great relief to have some help from someone, and this can be the best way of showing them you care. But it's important not to take over, and leave the person feeling even more inadequate. So do things together.

Ohh don't forget the most important one.... PRAYER
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Old 10-14-2004, 09:35 AM   #2  
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excellent advice!
thanks Leenie!
hugs,
cathy
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