Ups and Downs Support Group, Nov. 2015
 

:welcome3: to all, this is where you can come to make friends who are also under the grip of depression, anxiety, etc. Or you can come to just let your feelings out. We have a few regulars but all are welcome. As the title suggests, we are here for your downs AND your ups, because thank goodness sometimes we have Ups too :D

Lisa, I am so sorry your poor daughter is having such a rough time. I hope so much that her current meds are helping. You are a great, loving mom to care so for her. I hope you are doing OK, you said your school work is helping to distract you?

Kathleen, I have a lady friend here in town who also has lymphedema as is also a breast cancer survivor; I knew she had to wear the compression sleeve for a while but I know she does not wear it anymore so maybe you won't have to either. The winter job is OK so far, with the usual occasional weirdo customer, some lady cawed like a bird the other day when we said hello (???) and a man told me I looked 'like a big pumpkin' when I was wearing an orange tunic-type top. Well I guess I will never wear that top again.

EasySpirit, CONGRATS on being off all meds and managing with doing yoga and meditation!!! and being a 'normal' weight!! :carrot::carrot: YOU are an inspiration to us!!

BlueCat, :welcome: to our group, nice to meet you :) it is great that you have been able to reduce your sugar intake some, that is always helpful but so hard to do. I am sorry that when you tried to go off meds it was horrible. I also take Wellbutrin, have for years, and am petrified to even think of going off.

I have not kept up with my plan of working out :( maybe I can this morning, now that I've publicly shamed myself :devil: I think I worked out twice in a week, I really want to get back to at least 5X a week, it is so good for me.

My motorcycle is not put away yet! we are going to get some mild weather this week (nights in 40's, days in 60's) so I am glad she is still ready for me.

Please check in to say hi :hug:

Hello
I am new to 3FatChicks forums and I am really glad I found it. I have been struggling all my life being over weight and fighting mental health issues. I am 24 years old and so tired of the yo-yo, not only in my weight but emotionally. I have cyclothymia, a mild form of bi-polar disorder. I am a compulsive over eater. It is hard to manage my moods and eating.

My most recent struggle is gaining 30lbs over the last 16 months. It is really affecting my moods. I want/need to lose that weight and then some.

I think starting to join a community of people who are going through the same thing as me will be motivating. As much as my family and boyfriend are the most wonderful supporters they just don't exactly understand.

Hi. I'm new here. I'm 40 and have struggled with depression and weight my entire life. Recently I've really been struggling with my weight. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been and am having a difficult time stopping eating and eating healthy. It's nice to see that there are people out there in this forum that truly understand.

New... Again
 

Hi, everyone. My name is Digging Deep and I have really been struggling lately. I've moved to the Bay Area from Southern California about a year and a half ago and immediately took a high-stress job straight out of grad school. Since the last year of grad school and then my move, I've been steadily gaining weight (15-20 lbs). I feel like I'm now stress-eating to manage my anxiety and depression at work. I feel so lost. I work out and still don't lose weight because I'm eating utter ****. I used to bring my lunch to work, cook all the time, eat at home, etc. Now, I feel like I'm shuffling from one miserable place (work) to another (living with 2 roommates for the first time in my life because housing here is so effing expensive and HATING it). Sorry for the rant. I'm really sick of this weight and am ready to really start losing it. My one ray of hope and "sane place" is when I'm with my boyfriend in the City on weekends. He is my rock... and frustratingly skinny!! Haha. :) Thanks for listening. Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

:cheer::congrat::balloons::welcome2::welcome3:: Welcome, welcome, welcome, Digging Deep!!!!!!!!


You are such a sweetheart, you are so lucky to have your bf. We all need people who are understanding but love us the way we are. We are thrilled to read your post here and hope you come back again to join out little group. We all here have SO much going on in out lives besides our weight issues and mental health issues. It is a great place to vent. We really come to love each other and care about each other. My daughter is sick right now, badly sick. We are waiting on her new medicine (Effoxor) to kick in until then she cries and it is effecting her job greatly. It scares me and breaks my heart. I am going through this depression with her. She needs me and I am not going to let her down.


Hello friends, I hope this post finds you all well. I am hanging in there, so much on my plate right now but my meds are keeping me in the game. (I think) lol

I feel a little weak today, down and not at my best. Considering all that is going on, I am not surprised I am having a down day.


I will check back in tomorrow. Much love to all.

Thanks for the warm welcome
 

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for the warm welcome message. Sorry to hear that your daughter is so sick. I am sending good thoughts your way. It is so nice to know that someone else out there cares about little old me and my weight loss struggles. <3

Today was a tough, stressful day at work. I got home and immediately ate 4 cookies and a quesadilla, then felt guilty about it. I'm not feeling working out tonight. It's so ****ing cold outside, I can't stand it! (I know I'm a whimp out here in California but, in LA, it was less than 60 degrees F out maybe 3xs/year.) It's 52 degrees here and I want to curl up under my blanket with the space heater on and never leave! Haha.

Writing about it makes me feel less guilty about eating the cookies and quesadilla. There are worse things in life. Going to call the boyfriend and get some sleep. Tomorrow, I'll get out to the gym. I went the last 2 days in a row and my anxiety/perfectionism will not cripple me feeling good about myself and listening to my body when it's tired!

Hi everyone,

Pretty much a month into the Depakote and I’m kinda feeling better. But, I’m planning a pregnancy within the next year and I would really like to switch to something that A: handles my depression better; B: is compatible with pregnancy and breastfeeding so I won’t have to switch later and C: will not cause weight gain. I have an appointment with my doc next week so we’ll see what she says!

How are you all doing?

Hi All,

Ended up working out yesterday so I'm definitely taking today off. I'm really struggling right now with over-eating just complete garbage. I know this thread is about depression but I was wondering if anyone else tends to binge eat when stressed or sad or angry or, really, to deal with any emotion.

Hugs,
DD

Hey Digging:

I comfort eat when stressed. I think it's because I really hate the feeling of being hungry and so i know eating will make at least that feel better. For me, it's a control thing, which is ironic because I eating out of control portions when I feel like my hunger is the only thing I can control.

Do you follow a specific meal plan? As a compulsive over-eater I've found the very low carb keeps me in check. I'm not advocating that's the right plan for you but sometimes it can be helpful.

Love the support here!!!
 

I'm really glad I saw this thread. I have dealt with depression and panic attacks all my life. It's led me right into the arms of food again and again. At only 5 feet tall, carrying 200 pounds is a lot. Supposedly I'm supposed to be between 94- 125 to be in "normal range." I have a toddler and a newborn and I really want to be that active mom that is running around with them and playing and helping them practice soccer and stuff. Right now I kind of feel like a failure, cause I barely can chase my oldest around the house. Anytime I get depressed I go right for the food. Tracking with myfitnesspal has been helping a lot, but I still ended up binging on Halloween candy on my days off. 70-80 pounds seems like such a steep mountain to climb..... Anway, thanks for listening to me ramble.

:cheer2::cheer::balloons::welcome2::welcome3: Welcome, tehshort1, to our wonderful little thread!!!!! We are so glad to have you here with us. You will find much support in this thread. I try to post everyday or every other day. It is a great place for me to vent. Once again, welcome we are thrilled to have you.




My ear is still hurting after my surgery on Thursday. I have a creme to put on it, an antibiotic pill and Vicodin to take for pain. It takes cartilage a while to heal so I have a feeling the pain isn't going to go away for a while.


I have a lot to do today, catch up on homework mostly. The next few weeks, I will be studying for my Graphic Arts degree and my STNA. (state tested nursing assistant) I have a job lined up but I must be my STNA license first. Jennifer is worried about me, she doesn't think I can handle the load. I think I can put my mind to anything I want. It isn't going to be easy, that is for sure, but I can do it. I am strong and smart. My meds are working great and I really want this.


I am going to watch Nascar and Football today, plus do homework. I already did a load of laundry getting ready for tomorrow.


Have a wonderful Sunday!

Hello!

Kathleen,you sound stronger and more positive every time you post.

Holly, how is the mean, miserable boss?

Lisa, I hope Jennifer is feeling better soon. I had my first bout of anxiety right after I graduated from college. Looking back, I think the idea of being in the real world, with a job and responsibilities scared me into it.

TehShort1, you might want to break your weight loss down into sets of 5 or 10 pounds - that doesn't sound as overwhelming, AND you reach your mini goals much quicker.

I am totally off meds and using meditation classes as well as gentle yoga and restorative yoga to help. I am not getting on the scale - I had NO trick-or-treaters, so spent the night eating candy. I gave the rest to the college students who work the front desk at the YMCA, but not until I had eaten every Mounds bar and every Butterfingers.

Take care everyone.

:wave:

Hi everyone! Hope there's light thoughts and good feelings abound today!

Hello! Hope it is okay if I join! My name is Liz and I am 32. Writing about my history of weight loss/weight gain and anxiety/depression would take me a long time because all of the above has been a life long struggle! I first went on anti depressants when I was 17 and have been on and off ever since. I have found that being on an antidepressant does help me but I see the most benefit when I am also exercising, eating well and making good choices. My weight and activity level seem to have a high correlation to my feelings of anxiety and depression. Currently I am having a bit of a rough time. We are heading into winter and that has always been a tough season on my mood and mental wellness. I am also just stressed and exhausted. I have been in school full time for the past 6 years and am 6 months away from graduating with my masters degree. My oldest daughter just broke her arm last week from falling off her scooter, money is tight and I am feeling somewhat disconnected from my husband. I feel better getting all of that out there. Hope that isn't tmi for my first post! I look forward to getting to know you all!

Lisaluvshearts- thank you for the warm welcome! Are you in school?! I think that money being tight is tough during the holiday season when it seems that there is always something coming up to spend money on! We have been living on one income for so long and although we have made it work, it can definitely be stressful. I am looking forward to working and not having money be as tight! That being said there is definitely a lot that I have to be grateful for! Although we are broke after all our bills are paid, I am very thankful that we have the money each month to pay our mortgage and all of our utilities, internet, phone bills etc. We try to have fun as a family doing things on the cheap that don't involve spending money, although I find that somewhat easier to do in the summer when the weather is nice!

Hi Liz, I'm a social worker too! Welcome! One year out of grad school with my MSW, working toward getting licensed. Grad school was a tough time for me but you're almost done! You can do it! *cheering section over here*

Hi Lisa, Glad Jennifer is getting better. Good luck with your studies! I am grateful for the consistency of your posts since I've been MIA lately. You are the glue for this thread! <3

Hi All,

Had a good weekend with my bf and started my new position within my job (lateral move to another team) on Monday. So far the stress level is less and I have more autonomy so I'm feeling very thankful for that.

I'm doing a 5k on Thanksgiving morning with my boyfriend's family and have all kinds of anxiety and negative self-talk about it but I know I will be fine. Trying to stay on the wagon and keep up my running even though I hate treadmills. **** you, winter!!!

Proud of making a pot of homemade beef stew on Sunday night for lunches this week. It's almost gone and I've eating no fast food so far (my weakness when stressed at work)! :)

Also, I was just reflecting on the fact that I know I'm in a bad mental space (and having lots of external stressors with no end in sight) when I gain weight. It's like my weight is a red flag that I'm not doing well mentally and need something in my life to change. It was an interesting insight.

Much love to all. Good night! DD

Dcapulet, I just saw your response. So sorry I missed you in my update! Thanks for the feedback. Low carb has worked well for me in the past too. Definitely considering getting back on a meal plan when I feel more in-control of my life. Getting my metabolism measured at the doc later this month. Got blood work done earlier this year and everything checked out okay. Anti-anxiety/depression meds are pretty solid too. Hoping to get on a meal plan after I know what's going on with my metabolism.

Hello!
 

Hello friends!! I need to read and catch up to all of you, so kewl :D to have so many new friends here!!

Hi to 2gabsxo :welcome: to our group! It's so good that you have supportive family and boyfriend, but you're right, if they don't suffer themselves from mental health issues, they just can't understand completely. I hope you visit here and that it helps you :)

Hi to blkcatlvr
and ::welcome3: to our group! I saw that was your first post ever at 3FC. We understand about struggling and feeling like we can't do anything about it...but we can! I hope you are feeling better about the process.

Hello Digging Deep, :welcome2: and I'm glad that you are already posting alot to us! first congrats on completing grad school, I am in awe of those who had (have) the courage to further their education, it takes such work and dedication. I'm sorry you are cold in 52 degrees :devil: but if it is cold for you then that sux. Oh I think we have ALL eaten to stuff our emotions down! angry, sad, happy, oh yeah. And WELL DONE for going to the gym :)

Hi dcapulet good to hear from you! that is exciting that you are planning a pregnancy during the next year!! will this be your first? I HOPE you can find a med that is compatible to your wants. Was your doctor's appt this week?

Hi to tehshort1 and :welcome: ! wow you are a mom to a toddler and a newborn, WHEW :D exhausting! I hope you can find a plan that works for you, tracking with myfitnesspal sounds great, and I hope you can then have more energy to run after those babies.

Hi EasySpirit!! It is SO kewl to see that 150 in your stats, that is so great. and even more great is that you have been able to get yourself totally off meds by using your mind and body. boo to Halloween candy :devil: yay to you for giving most of it away afterwards.

Hello to SocialWorkMama (Liz) :welcome3: Congrats on being so close to your Masters Degree, that is awesome. I am sorry to hear of your daughter breaking her arm :( and that you are worried about money, booo to money troubles!! and sad about feeling disconnected from your husband. I hope that situation improves!! I definitely also feel so much better when I am working out consistently and eating right. Oh and Lisa was right when she said I would understand COMPLETELY about the dread of winter...I have used a personal therapy light, I fill our home with white twinkly lights, I have lights on timers..I am a winter and darkness hater :devil: And you did not give us TMI at all!! please feel free to speak of whatever you want.

HI LISA :hug: So is Jennifer home now? we are all worried for her, with you!! and congrats to you for starting the STNA class, I had to Google it to see what it was, I know you can keep up with the assignments and crush the quizzes, being the strong and smart chick you are :D and again so many thanks to you for keeping this group going ! I am sorry that you had to have the surgery on your ear but OMG you made me laugh about looking like Princess Leia :rofl:

Hi Kathleen! You DO sound more positive! :cheer2: that is so great for us to "hear" :) wow to writing out 7 pages of your weight gain story, that must have been hard, but to try to challenge it by making it have no more power over you is a brilliant idea! I applaud you for taking the exercise in the way of thinking of progress, not perfection, because you are right, that is the way to think of it. YOu have had so much to deal with in the past year, we hope that 2016 will be The Year of Kathleen :D :carrot:

thanks for the inquiries of my crabby weird cheap winter boss :devil: he actually hasn't done anything yet to really irritate me, except for trying to report 38 hours to Payroll instead of 40 :rolleyes: "Oh Holly, it was an honest mistake" :rolleyes:

Well today was my second day off of the week (my 'weekend') and it was so thickly overcast and chilly and then rainy, bleh. I am just so overly affected by cloudy gloomy weather :( but I did try to fight it, I did work out :carrot: (for the third day in a row!) and tried to clean up the kitchen a bit. And I did really clean the living room yesterday, dusted and got rid of cobwebs and it looks bright and clean in here, if just for a day or so.

I sometimes can pull myself out of a possible down day, by making sure at least do an exercise session, and then force myself NOT to go back to bed, and then do a bunch of cleaning. But it doesn't always work.

Hi ladies! So grateful for all of you today, and everyday so far! :hug:

New job is definitely going better. NO FAST FOOD ALL WEEK!!! :carrot:

A little disheartened by my inability to make it the 3.2 miles on the treadmill after 30 minutes but PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. ;)

This is my first 5k so all I care about is doing my best (I will definitely finish the race if I do that). Thinking about getting a new tattoo as a reward for the 5k. I'll be in San Diego with my bf and his wonderful family. If I get tattooed the day after, I'll have 3 days of vacation to rest and heal before coming home and hitting the gym again. :D

PS I should have never complained about 52 degrees. We had a low of 38 over night recently. I've added my winter robe as an extra "blanket". Thank god for space heaters. The bf got me to the gym once this week when I was unmotivated by saying "Well, the gym will probably be warmer." :lol:

I totally bombed in class tonight and left crying. :(


Please don't tell me not to give up because I know myself and I thought I could do this. I had to take some clonazapam and gabapentin tonight. I feel so defeated.

Lisa,

I'm so sorry. It sounds awful. I'm glad that you took your medicine to care for yourself. I empathize with your disappointment but please remember that the class does not define who you are as a person or all of the other things you have achieved in your life and on your journey. Sending warm thoughts, hugs, and love your way tonight.

<3 DD

Digging Deep - congrats on keeping away from the fast food for so long! :carrot: And you're training for a 5K, wow that is super!! sorry about the COLD, hopefully it will warm up for you.

Lisa, :( so sorry to hear about your horrible night. I hope you are feeling beter now :hug:

*came back to report that I did work out :D Did a FitnessBlender strength/cardio for 30 minutes; then good ol' Gilad abs for 13 minutes.

Here is exactly what happened last night.

I have clinicals last tonight. I pretty much had a meltdown. I have not been taking my clonazapam to help calm me down. I have decided to start taking it to calm myself down so that I can learn better. It's hard to concentrate when I am so anxious.

Last night, I started crying and couldn't seem to stop. I was so disappointed in myself and how I did during clinicals. I talked to my instructor and explained about my med situation. She was so nice and told me i was welcomed back tonight, if I wanted to come.

Hang in there Lisa!
 

Lisa: I am so sorry to hear about your struggles with your class. 😢 The thought of you crying and being disappointed in yourself makes me feel so sad for you. You are a wonderful person and I applaud you for going back to class after such a horrible experience. That takes courage and you have that in abundance! We love you and wish the best for you always! 😊 I am writing this from my phone so can't use the hug emoji, but I am sending you a big hug! 💜

LISA I am so sorry you've had such struggles while trying not to take the med during class. I think the instructor was warm and kind when she said you were welcome to come back! Wow you have alot of studying this weekend, I am glad you love the classwork :D

Kathleen, there were still some cute emojis in your from-phone message :D

I was at work 10 hours today, ugh, I guess this will be my Saturday routine, be at the store at 6 a.m. and work til 4 a.m. I just have to wear comfortable shoes, and bring something to eat to survive :devil:

It ... was ... kinda .. miserable out this morning at 5:30 a.m.!! Rain changed to snow, it was 29 degrees, and my driver's side door was iced shut and I was afraid to pull too hard on my door handle, in fear it would come right off :rofl: POS car!! I had to go to passenger side, that door opened, then climbed in, clambored over the center console, then plunked down into driver's seat and elbowed the stupid door open :devil: NOT the most fun start to one's day!! Blasted winter, I hate you :devil:

*Now for my "more positive, look on the bright side" post - I am damned glad that I CAN climb over the center console and plunk down into the driver's seat :devil:

Wow thank you so much everyone for the warm welcome!!!! I really appreciate it! I have come to realize that my anxiety and depression is tied so closely to my weight and when I am gaining weight and not making good food or exercise choices I feel much more depressed than when I am on track. Things are going okay, definitely need to figure out how to stay motivated, my motivation seems to really ebb and flow and this results in me not sticking to a healthy eating plan. My daughter ended up only having to have a brace and not a cast because of the type of fracture so that is great news, she can take the brace off for bathing and it is so much more comfortable than a cast would be! This weekend was busy, I had a two day play therapy workshop on Friday and Sat so today was my only day off this week and I have spent it cleaning the house and doing laundry and homework. My husband and I did have a great night last night, my parents took the girls for the night and we had a great time talking, working on a house project and connected more than we have in a very long time. It felt like progress so that is good!

Lisa- so sorry to hear about everything that is going on with you. It sounds like your program is very intense and stressful.

Digging Deep- it is so great to hear from a fellow social worker that has been through the MSW program! What area of social work do you work in?

IBelieveInMe2- thank you for the welcome! Glad that you are pulling out of your rut, it sounds like you are doing a lot to be proactive. I have definitely been in a rut lately and it can be hard to get out of, especially during the winter when the weather is lousy.

Holly- thank you for the welcome! I have heard a lot about therapy lights, have you found it helpful? Where did you get yours from? I hate the darkness of winter, the days are gloomy, it gets dark so early, it is cold, I just really struggle in the winter. That also tends to be the time when I do a lot of emotional eating.