Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 02-04-2015, 12:01 PM   #16  
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Hello everyone,

My name is Nicola and I'm 25, living in British Columbia. For as long as I can remember I have hated my body. Sure, it's strong and reliable for the most part dependable for avoiding/fighting off illness. But, I find myself 100% hung up on my appearance. It has lead me to some pretty self destructive behaviors, hating myself the way I do. I keep failing when establishing a weight loss routine. I am either ALL IN or ALL OUT. I go from dropping 25 pounds to gaining 20 in a matter of months. The yo-yo dieting and weight loss has really taken a toll on me. I work out every day, tons and tons of cardio and weights. I used to olympic weight lift, but I have given that up because I was gaining muscle mass and general bulkiness and I couldnt take it anymore. I weigh myself every morning and am devastated when I don't lose any weight. I have done my research, I know that weight loss doesnt work that way.. but somehow I need to see the numbers changing to know that I am making a difference and all the fitness is worth it. I am a broad shouldered, 6'0, big woman and most of that are things I cannot change. I'm reaching out because today I didnt lose any weight on the scale after eating minimally yesterday and resting (too exhausted to work out). I am terrified that I am walking down a scary scary road.
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Old 02-04-2015, 03:43 PM   #17  
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Hey everyone and a special Hi to Holly!

I used to post here quite a bit, I'm bi-polar with an anxiety disorder and it used to control my life but last year I finally decided I would control it. I've really come to terms with it and I'm finally getting comfortable in my own skin although there's still too much of it haha. I still have my ups and downs although they are much more managable and I'm able to articulate the issue and reach out to my husband for support. I know I'll always deal with this but I really feel like I've gained a handle on it.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop in and say hi to everyone and let you know to keep your chins up... it can get better. Posting here helped me and I hope it's helping you guys too. I won't be posting here much because I'm still emotionally influenced by things around me... and I don't want to be that annoyingly happy person who keeps saying "It's not so bad!" because I HATED that person while I was depressed. It's hard to believe I'm almost that person... so just this one time... life isn't perfect, but it's not that bad.
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Old 02-04-2015, 06:55 PM   #18  
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I just made a new collage that I think y'all are going to like. It's called "a journey of light". It was inspired by something my Qigong instructor said: "We are all beings of light."
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Old 02-04-2015, 09:56 PM   #19  
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Nicola & Aunty Jam: to the Ups & Downs Support Group! So happy you both posted!

Nicola: Thank you for sharing quite a bit about yourself with the group. You are a very courageous woman! It helps us get to know you! I am so sorry that you have hated your body for as long as you can remember and that it has led to self-destructive behaviors. That makes me feel so sad for you. Do you have any ideas about WHY you are so hung up on your appearance? Was it "taught" to you in your childhood? If so, by whom? [***You don't have to give us answers to these questions. I am just giving you some things to think about if you haven't already.***] Was there a specific event or trauma in your past (e.g., abuse of some kind) that caused you to be obsessed with your appearance? Were you criticized for your appearance as a child? If so, by whom? Have you taken on the role of your own best critic by using negative self-talk now? If so, many of us can relate. A lot of us can also identify with the feeling of failing repeatedly with our attempts at weight loss. So you are definitely not alone or bizarre in any way (at least not in this group)!!! Oh, boy, can I relate to that all-or-nothing thinking and behavior! I am really working hard right now to overcome that "stinkin' thinkin'!" It is so UNproductive ~ at least for me! You said you have done your research, so I assume you know that it is best NOT to weigh yourself every day (due to daily fluctuations that will drive you crazy) or put so much emphasis on the number on the scale. It is just a number, and I was recently told by a weight loss coach that it is very inaccurate anyway! It is not really the whole picture of your health at any given moment. If you could possibly get yourself to view it as just information/data (without any judgment), I think you would find it to be a positive step in the right direction. Would you consider weighing yourself just once a week ~ on the same day, in the morning (before breakfast) each week? OR: My coach recently asked me to consider measuring my belly (YIKES!!!) instead of using the scale. If interested in this technique, she said to suck in your gut (or not; just be consistent from week to week) and measure around your belly right over your belly button. She insists that this number is actually more accurate than the scale, in addition to being a more loving and accurate way to measure progress. It doesn't surprise me that you can't get the number on the scale to budge if you are working out so often and eating minimally (like yesterday). You probably have a significant amount of muscle (which, as you probably know, weighs more than fat) from all of the weight lifting you do. And since you do "tons of cardio and weights," you actually need to eat more to meet your caloric requirements and keep your metabolism going. Obviously, it is important WHAT you are eating, too. One other thing that strikes me is that you aren't giving your muscles time to recover if you are working out with weights every day. Believe me, I realize that I am NOT an expert on weight loss by any means!!! I am just sharing some information I have learned with you in case it might be helpful to you (or someone else in the group) in any way. It sounds to me like you are putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself surrounding that number on the scale. And YOU are so much more than a number on a scale!!!


Aunty Jam: I am also bipolar and have general daily anxiety. I went through some really rough times several years ago, but I also feel as though I have things much more under control these days. I still have many ups and downs, too, but my mental health is much more manageable now. That is so awesome that you decided that you would control your mental health issues rather than letting them control you anymore. HOORAY FOR YOU!!! I really appreciate you posting to encourage everyone along in our weight loss journeys and to remind us that "it's not so bad" and that "it can get better." You are living proof of that! Please feel free to post here ANY time, but I also understand the reality of still being emotionally influenced by things around you. Just please know that you are always welcome in this group!
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Old 02-04-2015, 10:13 PM   #20  
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Holly: It is so great to hear from you! I appreciate you taking the time to reintroduce yourself to the group and to the new members. I forgot about your dog, Eddie! (As you know, I am a huge dog lover!!!) You are sure rockin' those workouts!!! Working out 4-5 times a week is awesome!!! No doubt you will get your eating under control soon and see results if your hubby is cooking low-carb meals for both of you every night! (My hubby cooks much of the time, too. Love it!) So happy to hear that you are over your cold, but sorry about the excess gook left behind. Thank you for checking in. Hope to hear back from you again soon!
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Old 02-04-2015, 10:16 PM   #21  
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Fi: I love what your Qigong instructor said about us all being "beings of light!" Your collage is very cool! I think it is my favorite one yet! Hope all is well with you and with Bob!
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Old 02-04-2015, 10:28 PM   #22  
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I am so pleased and proud to announce that ~ the last few times I've checked ~ I am consistently DOWN 9 pounds since starting my Gold coaching program on January 12th!!!!! So guess who FINALLY got to DECREASE her current weight in her profile?!?!?! It made me extremely nervous to change that number, but I have had several consistent scale readings (over a few weeks) lately and I now am committed to watching it continue to fall! For those of you who have been following my progress (or lack thereof), you know that I have been on an extended plateau for years now due to insulin resistance, so this is HUGE for me!!! Gotta run now, but I just wanted to share my wonderful news!
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:57 AM   #23  
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IBelieveInMe2

Thanks so much for all your advice! You have certainly given me loads to think about
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Old 02-05-2015, 11:29 AM   #24  
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Kathleen— That's terrific news that you've lost nine pounds! It just hasn't been fair that you give so much support and positive messages to other people on the group, but have been stuck on that $&@#% plateau yourself. (Not that life is ever fair...) It's time for you to have a good number on your scale—past time! It sounds like that coaching class you've been taking is helpful indeed—plus your endocrinologist, of course. You go, girl!

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Old 02-06-2015, 12:11 PM   #25  
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IBelieveinme2 - Great job! And thanks.
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Old 02-10-2015, 01:25 AM   #26  
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Where IS everybody?

For those of you that follow my collage art: I just uploaded a dinosaur collage: "mid-century melee" (That's not a very good title: I may change it.) Be sure to click on the image for the larger version. And there's a lot to read, too. =laugh=
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Old 02-10-2015, 09:08 AM   #27  
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good morning! and to nicola! thanks for your introduction I am so sorry you are struggling and feeling desperate. But wow I am so impressed that you previously lifted so professionally!! that takes such self-driven control. I also loved what you wrote about your body, that even though you feel negative on your appearence, you appreciate what a kewl machine our bodies are, that even if our body doesn't look the way we want, it gets the job done I hope you find support and kindness here the way I have

KATHLEEN!! so many congrats on your awesome loss!!!!!! Hmmm now who has positive proof that deciding that program was a good thing That is so fantastic. What a wonderful assertion that you can do this!!

and again you gets props for being so supportive and kind to all of us here

Hey Aunty Jam!! (I've 'known' her for years) GOOD to hear from you and yes we understand that we might not hear from you but it is so great that you are at a point where you feel OK!! How is winter (ugh) for you up there?

Fi, you really create some kewl images! my dumb computer didn't allow me to enlarge enough to read but I appreciated what I saw from the regular size Hope you're doing good

Lisa (Ohiospirit) - are you OK?? I hope so Please let us know, we love you and are thinking of you.

HI to Lira, flower123, wickedcityx, Inviceable1 and anyone else I missed

I am finally completely over my cold, no more gook For working out, I am doing the diff. levels of 30 Day Shred, because it is a quick workout (25 minutes) and it kicks my butt so bad My eating is still pretty terrible, but I am hoping that my annual shift of thinking comes soon, just worried that usually by now I am on a more determined path with Spring, tee shirt weather, and motorcycles on my mind.

Please send me some positive thoughts on dealing with the public!! I am right on path with getting SO TIRED of interacting with customers, my usual deep well of patience is DRY and I have the most awful, mean thoughts about people and we have a huge busy weekend coming up, then Monday is PResident's Day, and the following week will be H-E-L-L because the neighboring states have no school, so it is a huge ski week. So instead of having a killer weekend, we will have day after day after day :shock: it is always like this, but we don't have any additional help because the boss says 'we just will get through it'. Which is true...but is will be hard.

OK - I accidentally told a customer last night that his purchase was $20.80. So I said out loud, 'that will be twenty-eighty'.
He says, "what?? Twenty-eight dollars??"
I said, 'oh, no excuse me, twenty dollars and eighty cents".
Then I looked at the register, and it was in truth, $20.68. I don't know why I said the other amount..so I said, 'oh gosh, no. It is actually twenty dollars and sixty-eight cents".
He says, 'then why did you say $20.80?'
and I looked at him, really exasperated, and said, 'um , because it's at the end of a long day?' and my voice kinda broke at the end, because it WAS at the end of the day.
He says, 'I think you were trying to make 12 cents for yourself'. And maybe he was joking, but I thought it was a crappy thing to say.
So I said, kinda meanly, 'if I was going to steal money, it would be for more than 12 cents, believe me'. And we left it at that
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Old 02-10-2015, 09:50 AM   #28  
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Hey everyone!

here to report-mostly to hold myself accountable and express what is going on. I let go and binge ate on saturday and yesterday. Saturday I had a huge burger and fries for lunch then I had pizza for dinner (not a little bit either). That tends to be how I do things... I feel that there is no sense in only eating a little bit... I might as well just go crazy and eat all I feel like to get it out of my system and carry on the next day. Classic binge-eater thinking. I did the same thing yesterday. I at minimally all day then ate TONS of candy and chips for dinner. I am supposed to go out for dinner tonight with my husband and his parents-chinese food... possibly my favorite junk food of all. All I want to do is go to the gym for 4 hours so I make up for the calories. I feel hopeless and helpless, like my goal of 180 (and even sooner goal of ONEderland) is further and further out of reach. Today I feel moody and lethargic (possibly from all the sugar). Anyways, thanks everyone for all your kind words lately! Even if i am not necessarily gifted with the written word-it means a lot to me

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Old 02-10-2015, 02:31 PM   #29  
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thewickedcityx I can relate to your post so very much! I also have difficulty with anxiety and depression. I find starting at a new gym very overwhelming. As well as not progressing every single day very depressing! I hope you get as much out of this forum as I do
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Old 02-10-2015, 10:07 PM   #30  
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ibelieveinme2,
thank you for responding. i'm currently on deprex
indeed i'm still battling procrastination it's a daily battle
invicible1,
wow we share similar situation at office with backstabbing colleagues,hang on in there. i'll think of you. let's support each other.
today is bad weather, i'm so lazy to go to work.
why am i glued to my bed? i'm now commuting but my mind keep thinking about laying down in my bed browsing internet & watching tv.
after returning from work i usually don't have the energy to do anything
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