So so happy to hear that, Holly.. glad I could help

My last boyfriend gave me a Claddagh ring for my birthday. I still have it I just don't wear it.. we lived right beside the Claddagh at the time. I used to feed the birds there a lot

Jam: I know about money, eugh, everything's so expensive.
I understand not wanting to take tablets anymore. I haven't taken anything since I was 16. So I don't have too much experience with them but I just didn't feel right. I don't know your situation at all so I don't want to give you any advice about it but if you don't want to take them I'd look into other options.. just think about it a lot before you make a choice.

hope: hey, hope you're doing ok. sorry to hear that you haven't been in great form. It's tough having only one day off too.

erbear: you can do it I know the feeling though

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I'm doing ok.. frustrated with my weight but hey that's how it goes. My body seems to go crazy if I go off for a day and eat a bit wrong and it seems to take forever to get back to losing. I'm pushing hard to lose again but it's my sisters birthday in a few days and I promised to help her with a bottle of wine and she bakes really nice cakes (I offered to bake her one and she declined haha, she makes good cake) so it's gonna be tricky. I guess I'll just eat less/healthier stuff for the rest of the day but it's not so easy. It's a 4 hour drive home and I'll stay for a few days so planning my own meals isn't always possible. Ah well. Yummy cake.

Leila-Thanks. Yesterday and today have been better. Yay Zumba! I love to travel, but hate what it does for weight loss. Does your family know about your diet and weight loss goals? I'm sure they wouldn't be offended if you asked for a veggie plate at the party or just had a taste of the cake to tell your sister what a good job she did baking it. Hopefully being around family will be all around nourishing for you though and that's always good!

Hey everyone. I'm not in a great frame of mind, just always so critical of myself. I'll say hey again when I have more to offer

erbear: Yeah they know and are supportive but also like giving me cake haha, so I guess I'll work something out. Glad you're back on track

Holly - hey sorry to hear that, what's going on? happy to listen if you're happy to share! Thinking of you.

Hey everyone Sorry for my long absence I find it tough to keep up with everything. Thank you everyone for your concern regarding my meds... I went through a bit of a dip the other day where I was kind of down, the stress level went up but I gritted my teeth and tried to convince myself it would pass. It did but I'm more aware that without the meds I may not be so convinced. It's tough, the depression and bi-polar make me so wishy washy... bleh. I wish I could be one of those decisive people. I think I'm going to try talk to my doctor about going down a bit, it's so hard to get in to see her though.

Vermont - You're so funny... throw a gun really hard LoL I'm sorry you're so critical of yourself... I'm the same way and my husband called me on it just yesterday. He said "You down play yourself and your abilities so much and you really shouldn't... I'm not going to listen to it anymore.. stop it!" LoL - Tough love eh? Chin up chick

Leila - I agree staying on track is good, but don't deprive yourself totally... I don't because for me that only leads to binging. A small slice of cake and 1 glass of wine won't derail all of your plans. Just be sure to eat as healthy as you can before and after, watch your portions. And stick to your guns when your family tries to give you more cake and wine!!! Mine's the same way LoL

Er - Just remember "reality" shows aren't really reality... they condense a lot of stuff into just one hour. And I'm really not a fan of the biggest loser shows, the people are extra morbidly obese and a lot of the things they do just aren't healthy.

Hope -
Iris -

We're a small group these days, sorry if I missed anyone... it was absolutely not intentional.

Awwww, here's a for you, Vermontmom!

Hi to everyone else!

I fell off the wagon pretty hard in April. Trying to get back on track now. Did a little too much celebrating...haven't stepped on the scale.

Hi Vermont, how are feeling today? I hope you are better. I thought I had the market cornered on self criticism. You had such a long run with the good mood, I hope the blip doesn't last long. Thinking of you.

Hi to everybody else, but I can't stay long. I'm glad everyone has stopped by.

hey everyone! sorry no time for personals but love to you all. My sister had to get her appendix out last night so I'm gonna be going home to help out as she has a baby and 2 big dogs her husband still has to go to work too so lots of stress.

LeilaJey, that is so nice of you to go stay and help your sister's family

GEM - Hi!! good to see you again!

Aunty Jam - nice long post from you that was pretty great of your guy to tell you to knock off the self-criticism. does tough love work?

Hey Hope haha, I guess the self-criticism comes with our territory, or something!

hello to ErBear

I am just having an all-over bleh period of time. I had been doing so well for so long! I've done the back to bed thing TWO days in a row, it's not ever good, but not 'quite' so forbidden on my days off..but I also did it a few days ago, when I was supposed to be getting ready for work! Maybe its because we haven't seen the sun in days and days, that always sucks.

I am worried that I'm at the point of truly obsessing on how I look, because it is, like foremost in my thoughts at any given time. What the heck should I care at this point in my life, I'm 51 frakkin years old! I"m not expected to look like a twenty-yr old. why do I care so much??

Well I have to do laundry, make cookies for my Grandma Grace's memorial service, and try not to eat any while producing them.

its so good to know you all are here!!

I got a major blow yesterday. I was laid off from my job. I'm still in shock and processing everything. I'm going to do my best to stay positive and not let this send me into a major depression. I'm so sad because I loved that job and it was great pay. My greatest fear is never being able to get another good job like that again.

Gotta run. More later.

oh, man Hope!!! I'm so sorry, hun!!

Hey Holly! I'm sorry you're feeling bad but as you said you were feeling good for so long, you will feel that way again soon. Did anything change or can you think of anything that's causing it? Also with how you look, I know I'm the same these days.. obsessing completely but I'm really trying to focus on the health aspect of why I'm doing this and that I'm doing it for myself not for anybody else. You're at my goal weight so you must look a million times better than me and I don't look too bad ha thinking of you!

hope: oh that sucks so much, really sorry. you can find something else, i know it's hard.. good luck

mustang, welcome back! these things happen.. sure get on the scale but don't worry about the numbers, it'll come off again it's good to have fun anyway.

Jam: good luck with the doctor!

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it's funny that I was coming home to go shopping, eat cake and drink wine with my sister and instead she had her appendix out! heh, she'd out of hospital and doing really well so that's fantastic. we'll be leaving again tomorrow so going to help them out again today and then go home.

I'm back on loads of antibiotics as I'm having dental surgery on Tuesday.. was hoping the infection would stay down but unfortunately not. I feel sick as **** as I'm taking 7 a day.. bleugh.. fingers crossed it's not so infected on tuesday and they can do the surgery. I'll refuse to leave if they say they won't because I've been on a waiting list for well over a year now.

other than that doing ok, down to 158 but today I felt fatter than ever when I looked at myself. It's so up and down mentally with my body perception. Oh well.

Thinking of all of you

LeilaJey, how is your sister doing? I'm sure she is grateful to have you there to help. I hope they can do your dental surgery.

Vermont, thanks. I hope you are doing ok after the funeral. Did you make it through the cookie baking without incident?
I have a couple of leads on jobs that I can apply for but I'm so afraid that I won't get them. I'm heavier than ever and now I have to try to sell myself to people when I really have no self esteem. That should be fun. Good grief, I have to find a suit that fits too. Yikes.

Erbear, I watched Biggest Loser this season too. Sometimes I find it inspiring and sometimes it's just something to watch. The last few seasons I've actually just eaten garbage the whole time I've watched it. Crazy, isn't it?

Mustang, it's good to see you again. I'm sorry that you got off track but sometimes it happens. Don't beat yourself up and just move forward.

Aunty Jam, are you still on your full dosage of meds?

Hey Hope, I'm glad you have some leads at least..i can empathize on how daunting it will seem to promote yourself when you don't feel 'sellable'. But you ARE! you are valuable and you have skills. Not to be pessimistic, but can you apply/collect unemployment insurance?

I couldn't get to my step gramma's burial yesterday, but her memorial is today. I failed the test of not eating cookie dough...and ate baked cookies...sigh, just trying not to beat myself up and am continuing on .

LeilaJey, oh gosh you have waited THAT long for your dental surgery?? I hope you're not in constant pain! hope the antibiotics do their work and that you can get taken care of on Tuesday. I know the antibiotics can make you feel yuck.

Hi Aunty Jam, GEM, ErBear, Iris

Hey will write a proper reply tomorrow or the day after, I was feeling so sick today with the antibiotics so not able to write much of substance! Ahem. Thinking of you all though!

Dental surgery in the morning, eeeeee, so happy/nervous. Ok, gonna try and sleep