[buddly]

Hi everyone!

Auntyjam, holly cow! what a terrible situation. I sure hope your hubby gets it straightened out. My light is an apollo golite, which is now phillips and their site is totally useless.

And Mom, there is nothing wrong with you!! I don't know how you manage to do all that you do do.

I'm getting my tonsils out as well as my uvula and soft palette removed. Hopefully it will help deal with the obstructive sleep apnea.

It snowed here a bit today. In town it wasn't sticking but the ground is white where we live. As long as it doesn't freeze tonight it will be fine. DdB has to be at work for 6am and I have to be at the hospital for 7:45am and I really don't want to have to deal with ice.

I better go. Take care everyone and I hope things get better.
K

[Aunty Jam]

That sounds like a lot of surgery Buddly... I'll keep my fingers crossed that it goes well and helps you out. I'll let you know if I hear anything back from philips via email... it's not looking good so far.

Accounts won't be unfrozen until tuesday at the very earliest... I had to go to the bank and get a bunch of travelers cheques so that's an additional cost on company money that I'll have to absorb. At least I'm not carting around large amounts of cash. I just about hyper-ventilated when he told me.

So I leave veryveryvery early Sunday morning... I probably won't be around much next week. At least Houston gets sun, although it's supposed to rain the first few days I'm there.

[VermontMom]

buddly - that sounds like alot of surgery! best wishes for that

Aunty Jam - wishing you a good trip, and i hope its warm and sunny for you!

hi to everyone else

[momof4under5]

aunt jam-wow that is extremely stressful!!

Buddly-hope the surgery works and fixes the problems esp since its SOOOO much!!

To everyone else thanks for your comments I haven't been on since I wrote the post and its been like this all week. So when I came on and read the posts I just sat here an bawled. I just want to get my life together but mentally I cant. my sis in law was talking to me today and was like I just think you have to much going on its alot. To me in my head I can plan everything out and it fits but when it comes to executing that plan i FAIL. Same as in my weight loss journey. I have the perfect plan of how to do it and the motivation yet when it comes down to it I fail...I can feel myself getting to the breaking point of going a-wall...LOL Just fast for 40 days don't eat...be a drill Sargent with the kids run it like a boot camp to get everyone in shape. I need a home makeover (not the decorating kind...the discipline of myself and my house kind).
Like while I was playing the piano two boys took the egg carton out of the trash and crushed the shells all over my floor, then the others were running like idiots just because they thought I wasn't paying attention.

Honestly I have a super great plan and schedule and IT WILL WORK but I DON'T FOLLOW THRU with it!! Why doesn't that part of my brain work, what vitamin or whatever am I missing??

Ok well i need to take care of kids
I did make everybody salads for lunch!! I eat crappy because I dont want to take the time to find something healthy or cook something healthy...sigh

Again thanks girls!!

[Miss Edith]

Hi luvs!

(new girl)

I hope everyone's doing better/okay!

I'm getting really high anxiety whenever I excessive, it was better before but got worse again after bf and I broke up. It really makes me not want to do it but I to have to reach my goal. Which is already screwed up cuz I took a week off so I could deal with the break up. I only went over 1 day and stayed mostly on my diet for the rest, just didn't excessive. That's something right?

[hope4me]

Just a quick hello. I'm sad the weekend is over. I did work today but at my part-time job and that doesn't stress me out since I know what I'm doing. One more week though and I'm off for a whole week. I could cry I'm so excited. Say a prayer for me that I do well this week in training and I can go out on my own. I need to look independent and more importantly not stupid. Gotta get to bed.

[VermontMom]

Hi chicks first, :welcome to Miss Edith! This place REALLY helps me

hope - here's to hanging in there one more week, soaking up the training, so it will be like "she's new? but she's seems to know how to do everything!" and hang in there til your week off!!

momof4 - salads for everyone's lunch was great!

Aunty Jam - how is Houston? I would freak I think if I had to navigate a huge city.

buddly - when is your surgery?

hi amym, how are things with you

and hi emaline and lillyd

I'm still not eating right, but working out every day. In summer, I ate right but only worked out 2 or 3 x a week. Why can't i get it together, lol.

Yesterday I volunteered to hlep show little kids to decorate gingerbread men (and ladies). I had to take 3 hours off work, and so my paycheck will be 3 hours less next week. I told the lady, when she first asked me, that I probably could, but I had to take off from work...and she didn't respond. Do people not care, or they just don't listen? I gotta stop volunteering, if all it makes me feel is mad

[Aunty Jam]

Forgive me for not addressing everyone but I only have a few minutes... I don't know what to do... everything at home is going wrong. Power is being cut off friday, heat next week, cell phones are already cut off. Bank account is still locked down not that there's enough in it to pay off any of those. Had a break so hubby called the 1800 number of the hotel and we got in a huge fight. He defended his quitting of his last job and I replied "So when we're sitting in the dark with no heat we'll think of that and know you were right......." He says I'll talk to you later and hangs up. Now I'm supposed to meet everyone downstairs for dinner and I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying. I haen't had a raise in 3 years and I can't keep the bitterness from coming out anymore. We're going to be with my boss and our next boss and all the other managers... i've got to not say something some how. I used to drowned myself in wine then have emotional outbursts.... this is NOT tghe time for that but theres oging to be ample booze.... there always is... these guys drink like fish... what the **** am I going to do. Oh, that's another thing... all of my fish are going to die when the power goes out. How nice. I am going to cry.

[VermontMom]

Oh Aunty Jam... that is SO terrible, I am thinking of you and sending you strength to get through this night!!!

[VermontMom]

and this is not helpful nor constructive but I want to kick someone in the butt for this situation

[hope4me]

Aunty Jam, I'm with Vermont in thinking of you tonight. I'm so sorry you're in this mess. You have every right to be upset with your hubby. I would be beside myself too. It sucks when you are working hard but not getting any help from anyone else or the raises you deserve. It's tough too when you get news like that and then go and have to face a crowd. Check in soon and let us know that you are ok. You will get through this even if you (or Vermont) has to put a boot in someone's a$$.

[VermontMom]

It's 10 o'clock here and I'm wondering how Aunty Jam is holding up...damn, hard enough to have to deal with the home situation but to have to put on the business face and pretend it isn't happening...!!!

[HeatherAngel]

I'm reading, I'm thinking of you all - especially Aunty Jam! *hug* I'm slowly coming round. There's so much I want to share, but it's ridiculously personal.

Know that I still hover here, chicks.

[momof4under5]

WOW aunty Jam- that is horrible....Have you tried calling either place to set up a payment for when you do get paid. I know different location and some places dont work like that but if our paycheck wont be here in time they will set stuff up. Sometimes they work a payment plan out or other places have a community action or crisis? You may have already asked..but if you havent maybe you could and see if theres anything you can do...So sorry I know what it feels like...its horrible!!

[Aunty Jam]

Thanks for all of your thoughts... you don't know how much I need them. I am so depressed. And it's not a good thing but I'm soused also... we had 2 bottles of wine ordered before dinner and finished off the night here wiht a few beer. I managed to keep dinner conversation light and happy it got a bit bitter when we got back to the hotel... something along the lines of "Someone has to do his work..." referring to my boss, but it was all not bad, he's quite a bit soused himself. My German co-worker taught me how to say "Piss off" in German (verpiss dech!) so I've been saying that to him quite a bit. My roots are German and English so she takes special delight in teaching me.

However now I'm back in my hotel room (you'll be proud to know I turned down the offer of free beer and I'm drinking water) but its quiet and alone.... the message light is blinking on my phone and I haven't checked it yet. I'm sure it's a message from my husband but I'm not sure if it's a "F-you I'm taking the dogs and keeping the house" message or a "I'm sorry, I love you...." message. I think I'm done caring either way and that makes me sad.

I just don't know what to do anymore... I've been at my witts end for so long they're worn out. I'm fighting the urge to go down to the store and get some chocolate. I should probably just pass out instead. No one here has the slightest inkling... nor can I tell them or even let on what's happening in my private life. It's all smoke and mirrors.