So i have to go grocery shopping VERY SOON!!!! I think I am ready to do this natural/fresh food and ONLY water as a drink for a while....I only have 8 weeks to lose some weight before I go to the winterjam where I am the local coordinator. I was sooo self conscience last year and I circled the big bryce Jordan center probably over 100 times. I need to be in shape some what and I want to start using a pedometer and keep track of my steps. On Tuesday I specifically did just boys school with out messing on the computer and I felt good when I was done...I get bored sitting there but I have to be there to help. I did EVERYTHING for the day..THEN on wed we had dr. appts and i couldn't do their school...then Thursday they were catching up on videos and I was feeling blah and today I did it half way!! mostly because they were goofing off and giving me a hard time and the three girls were all over the place instead of napping so I was on the edge of snapping and just decided to give it up for the day! I may try to get kids in bed and do some of their school!!!

momof4, i would be at doing what you do with your kids! You're to be congratulated each and every day.

On my first day off, Wednesday, I did my 'have-to-do's' so I could indulge myself Thursday. First I worked out hard; then cleaned up a horrible dusty messy corner (none of it was MY stuff, surprise surprise) then made the long trip (50 miles each way) to a big Goodwill store, where I scored 2 huge bags for $68 (clothes were two pairs jeans; 3 work shirts; 1 party shirt; Sorrel boots; 3 new pairs earrings; 2 pair new gloves for boys; 2 very cute car coats - one is a nicely fitted black one, the other is like brown suede with fox fur around hood) some household things which were a woven table throw, a nice big thick white towel for me, 2 broom/dustpan sets, a frame, a little glass vase)

Then came home, and DS age 20 had made a cake from a mix and frosted it and it looked perfect! then the four of us went out to dinner, a casual BBQ place; then back here for the cake and gifts; boys got me some Simpsons dvds, a Simpsons episode book; gloves; and Olay Regenerist which I like but won't buy for myself ... DH got me a Stephen King book that I didn't even know was out! And a girlfriend in SD mailed me a very kewl biker's bandanna that she hand-applied Swarotsky (sp?) crystals on. It was a great birthday even though I am now (yikes) half a century old. But I don't feel it and I don't act it

SOOO yeah I got on the scale last night and I was at 240...like really...THAT SUCKS MAJORLY...I have to do something!!!

Momof4, I'm in the same boat. My weight is up at least 20lbs over my ticker. I just haven't changed it. I keep intending to at least workout but it hasn't happened yet. I know if I don't do it soon my depression will take over with a vengeance.

Vermont, sounds like you had a very cool birthday. I'm glad you enjoyed it and sounds like you are well thought of. So I guess you are working this weekend? I'm working Sunday.

I'm off today and I'm taking a friend out for lunch for her b-day and maybe a movie.We may be having thai food-yum. I of course have lots of house work I need to do and the dogs need a bath badly. I think my mom is coming here for Xmas which will be nice. It's easier for me not to have to make the trip there, especially with the dog situation. We really have to get a house sitter because of them being separated which means only one of them at a time has access to the doggy-door. Her coming here however also means a major house cleaning is in order.

Work is going pretty well but it is stressful. There is so much to know and I'm on my own now. I can always ask the rest of the team questions which I do if I don't know an answer. I want to do well so there will be a more opportunity to make more money if I'm assigned to a territory in the future.

Better run and get ready for lunch. Hope you all have a great day.

my opinion - that should be fine! especially that you said, you can say that you have to know how many $ for each child. I don't think at all that she will think you're asking something out of line, or appearing not grateful or anything like that.

aw I'm sorry you feel that badly!!

Hi hopeforme Sounds like you are settled in pretty well with your job? I am envious of you on that, sounds like you have a respectable line of work, I am usually kinda ashamed of my no-brainer winter retail job but I know I'm good at it, for what that's worth

and Hi to everyone else

DH surprised the heck out of me yesterday, in a good way!! I had just casually said that I hoped we could paint a certain section of wall in living room; it was where we used to have a direct vent heater, it had lots of little holes where we had some things screwed in but then removed and some wear n tear marks...I got home from work yesterday and there is the wall, totally smoothed and painted!! It has been Y.E.A.R.S since he's done home improvement stuff. Again...I just

Thanks vermont that's what I am going to do. I told her today I needed to get totals for each kid.

I just don't understand WHY I feel this way? This is the first Christmas not on any medicine...I have no desire to do any of it. I am not really excited...just want to get through all the crap I gotta..Did even care or go to my dh Christmas party. Trying to find a way out of going to my dh Christmas party (might even fake being sick) Don't want to go to the church party but our pastors bought us tickets and i think it would be rude to refuse. I don't want to go to our elders church dinner with the other leaders...don't want to go the party for foster families..Didn't decorate outside and don't think im going to..EVER since I have been little I have been into lights and ALWAYS did lights when we could. I am not even enjoying the lights of everyone elses house...What to just take my tree down. Im not stressed over money I have all but a few things for the kids. So its not that. I don't understand it is it weird?

Then I stressed and get frustrated over the disorder in the house and the mess the kids lay but like at night when i could be whipping through the laundry and dishes and cleaning up to my standard so I am not stressed the next day am I NOPE? Its the same feeling as Christmas...SO WHAT IS IT?

I don't feel depressed. I feel like I am going into a shell because of my weight I don't want to be seen..SO should I be seeing a dr again or letting this go?
I think I am going to use the energy pills my dh uses and try the eating right and hope something works..

Is there maybe a vitamin that I could be lacking that is causing all this? Someone help I feel out of control in my own body?

Momof4, as you know I'm no dr. but I've felt that way most of my life. I avoid everything imaginable that involves others, people I like and like being around. It doesn't matter who they are or how fun the activity I make excuses not to go. This is way worse if I'm not on medication and I'm overeating. If I'm not working out on top of that I become a hermit. The complete lack of interest in anything, including Xmas also comes when I'm off meds. Eventually I don't understand why I'm fooling with life at all. I don't notice I'm depressed right away but just blah, no energy and nothing phases me or interests me.

Vermont, wow, what got into your hubby? Any more housework surprises? Mine is claiming he is going to paint the whole inside of the house before my mom gets here for Xmas. He has even bought the paint but I can't imagine that it's really going to happen. He's a contractor so it's not a stretch for him but he hasn't worked on our house in a looong time. The fact that he bought the paint doesn't excite me because he loves to spend money, doesn't matter why. Anyone wanna make a bet?

I did ok with my eating till tonight. I ate too much for dinner and too much after. I guess I should be happy I didn't eat constantly all day long. Maybe tomorrow will be better since I work both jobs and can't sit in front of the tv in the evening. Still not working out. Why?

Buddly, what's going on there?
Aunty Jam?
Heather, I know you're there, at least I hope.

Yep, I'm hovering. Still taking baby steps in my life - today I saw the dentist. I know, big deal, right? But this is a new dentist, under my own benefits, which has been super complicated. And I am STILL not divorced. The soon-to-be-ex now lives with the most recent gf - this one recently turned 24. Apparently she is 'the one - when you know, you just know'... ummm, thanks for telling me.

I am struggling HARD to try to lose, but I seem to be unable to stick with much of anything.

I did put up Christmas decorations - first time in several years. I was so scared that I would bawl, but I didn't, and the house looks beautiful, even if only I admire it! I forgot that I have good taste.

My, that's more than I've shared in a loooong time. Off to hide back in my hovel of fatness now.

Thinking of you all - Buddly, where you at, hon?

Heather-I feel so bad for you...I hate that you just hide now...you used to always post until things got bad. I cant wait for the day your happy and things start going your way.

hope-well thanks that pretty much summed up me!! LOL

Well happy to report today i have felt great. Even though I only slept a few hours due to a child puking every 10minutes from like 3-5. At first it wasnt so bad then I would just get her cleaned up and the floor (cause she missed the bucket-only 4) and then get her settled down and lay back down I would just doze off to wake back up to gagging and gargling. She was so upset about the floor she wanted to sleep on a towel so it didnt mess up the floor. She wouldnt lay on the couch so it didnt get on the couch. First time in a while I felt a slight bit of motivation. I even folded my laundry tonight and didnt put it off!!
I did good eating half of the day. I had a banana for breakfast and then green beans, potatos, and fresh cauliflower for lunch. I didnt have dinner planned and my dh made it so that completely went out the window..but I was happy with atleast the first half going well and knew it was my fault I need to go shopping then plan food

Vermont-I did ask my mom and she realized she didnt give me the 15% off my stuff at the one store then when we went thru the other stuff she found some areas she put the wrong amount and it was no big deal and I shouldnt have gotten stressed.

Anyways on that note its 2 am and I gotta be up early with kiddos SO Im going to bed!! night

Hope all of you (buddly and some of you new ones) have a good day!!

Hi everyone,
I'm still here, sort of. Not doing so great.
Anyway, I'm alive and still kicking, so that is a start.
Take care all,
K

Hey guys... I haven't dropped off the face of the earth just been really busy. I still have all the same complaints and issues... I was doing alright until last night when my car wouldn't start. That just opened the flood gates. I ended up in the kitchen later at home eating PB out of the jar. Sure it's 100% natural, no salt, no sugar but it's still a hundred calories per tablespoon.

Yeesh. Anyway, I'm exhausted so I'll have to catch up with everyone when I can think better. Hey, does anyone else think we need a December or Winter thread?

Thanks, mom. Big hugs to all. xo

I'll start one