Mary, Your post really tugged at my heart. A year ago my ex walked out on me and two small children (11 months and 2 years). I thought I was going to DIE! I wanted nothing more for him to come home (he had an affair/married to her now). I started counseling immediately once a week (suffered for years from anxiety/panic disorder so that situation only made things worse) and then counseling became twice a month and now once or twice a month depending on how things are going. You know...it's going pretty good now; really helps to get things off your chest and have someone work through problems/issues with you. IT DOES GET BETTER SWEETIE! It takes time! Each day will get easier that you focus on
YOU and not giving him your power by focusing on HIM! I am glad that you are seeking some legal advice/help. He can't expect you to just sit back and do nothing! I know it seems hopeless right now but it will turn around. Work at it every day and come here for support when you need it! You are in my thoughts!
Hugs!