Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-25-2005, 02:12 PM   #1  
Member
Thread Starter
 
AngelxxRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 71

Height: 5' 10''

Default *Why* are you a binge/compulsive overeater?

I am new here and I was wondering why you think you binge eat/over eat. I am also wondering about the link between sexual abuse/low self-esteem and binge eating. I have not been abused and I do not have a low self-esteem but I do binge eat.

Is anyone else like me? I think I binge eat due to emotional eating and learning to have an unhealthy relationship with food because of my parents.

What has helped you to overcome your binge eating?

Thanks!
AngelxxRose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2005, 04:14 PM   #2  
Senior Member
 
sherpamelissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: South Suburbs of Chicago
Posts: 293

Default

Hey Angel,

My mom and I recently had a talk about this. I think my binge eating started out because we moved to a new area when my parents got divorced. My sister and I stopped being so active, we didn't know anyone *blah* *blah* *blah*. My mom was so busy trying to keep a roof over our heads she wasn't involved much in our eating. I started to gain weight and she noticed that. My mom is tiny, size 2, tiny. So, instead of trying to lose weight I started to eat in secret. Of course, I would try to eat as much as possible in a short amount of time while hiding. Thus, binge eating was born.

I'm not sure what could have been done differently, other than my mom being more aware of what had been going on.

I control it by trying to take it one moment at a time. Each time I am tempting to binge I have to talk myself out of it. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. I have started win more often.

Good luck!
sherpamelissa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2005, 05:14 PM   #3  
Senior Member
 
boiaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 991

Default

I don't really attribute my binge/secret/compulsive eating to things that have happened in my life. I'm more of the opinion that my brain just works differently than those who don't suffer from this particular affliction. However, I do think that there is a real connection between sexual abuse/low self-esteem/poor familial relationships and binge eating, but just not in all cases. I'm sure we all have our own reasons for turning to food in such a destructive way, whether they are chemical, emotional or other. It's how we learn to deal with our issues that really make the difference.

Beverly
boiaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 11:48 AM   #4  
Life is a cabaret
 
HourglassLass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 71

Default

Hi Angel and welcome. I've had a lot of time to do personal evaluations and I've also been headshrunk. My binge/compulsive eating (it seems) stems from the basic fact that I was never around anyone who had healthy eating habits. I lived with baby sitters, when I was small, who were overweight themselves. The woman (she was SO sweet) loved to bake and any ill could be fixed with a cookie, a piece of cake, etc. I then moved to my grandmother's, who made anything that came from a box. Banquet chicken, mac & cheese, fish fingers, etc. After that I moved in with my biological father (during high school) who was an alcoholic and had no idea about running a household. He would let the food supply dwindle down until there was vodka in the freezer and mustard in the fridge. It would stay that way for a couple of weeks until he got a bee in his bonnet about shopping. THEN he'd go out and spend $300 on food! So, half the time I was gorging myself on hamburgers at school because there'd be no food at home or gorging myself on the feast he'd brought home from the store because I didn't know what to eat first! A lot of the time during the summer I'd grab 'food' from the local 7-11 or eat at the local university's student union when I was hanging out with friends.

Then there was my mother, who lived in a different state. I'd see her about twice a month (she was in the airlines) but she ate (and still eats) like a bird. Pick and peck at stuff because food basically bores her.

I was also an overweight child.. *gasp* a whole 10lbs overweight at age 9 - so my pediatrician, in his infinite wisdom, saw fit to put me on a 1,000 calorie a day diet. My father's girlfriend never saw anything wrong with telling her nieces that they could have french fries as we went through the drive through at the local Mickey D's but *I* couldn't because it wasn't on my diet - right to my face and in front of them. Talk about giving a child a complex!

After I went away to college, I stayed at about 140-145lbs (5'3") until I moved into an apartment on my own. Then all **** broke loose. I self-medicated my depression with food, my stress with food, my lonliness with food, etc. I also didn't have to wait on anyone to buy food because I could get it myself. So, in the emptiness of my apartment I'd stuff my face full of whatever I wanted because there was no one there to tell me I couldn't or to see me do it. Until my doctor saw me balloon up to 208lbs! SHE is the one who (thankfully) diagnosed me and sought a second opinion from a psychiatrist - all off her own back. They both concurred to put me on prozac. Despite the bad press the drug receives(d) all of that helped and though the help of a clinic I lost about 90lbs. I kept this weight off until I moved to England whereupon I had a different problem... I couldn't afford decent food! My fiance and I were saving for our wedding and basically ate anything.. *ta da!* in a box or a tin! (Would you eat it with a fox and then look like Gunga Din?) It was like a Clive Barker version of Dr. Seuss! So, it was back to the boxed chicken and fish fingers and all the carbs that my body doesn't do well with. I had to crash diet a month before my wedding (I ate 5 cans of Weight Watchers soup a day) just to fit into my wedding dress! I did it, but the weight came back because we were still dirt poor. Two years later when we separated, I moved into an apartment by myself, in a foreign country, in a foreign town and the old habits steadily returned and, of course, so did my weight.

So, here I am at age 34, suffering with binge/obsessive eating - still. I live alone (again), I'm depressed, I'm stressed out about career decisions, I left all my friends 4,000 miles away and my lurking disorder doesn't help at all. I'm now on a meal-replacement program to help me lose weight (and hopefully break some old, nasty habits with food), which thankfully is working wonderfully. That is... when I let it. I had a two week bought with bingeing, but thankfully I've gotten past that now.

I don't know about sexual abuse and binge eating, however I think that any abuse, rather it be physical, emotional or psychological can impact a person and plant the seed for an eating disorder. My father never physically abused me in any way, but going without food in the house and his constant alcoholic-fueled boughts of shouting did my head in. I think deep down inside, I binge because of a few things: 1. because it gives me a sense of control that I can buy and eat whatever I want and no one can say boo to a goose because I live alone. 2. because I'm very sad, angry, depressed and mentally beaten due to several years of struggling to make ends meet and because of people who said they were my friend and then left me to stand alone when I needed them most. 3. because it's basically the only sense of pleasure I get out of my life at the moment and I have nothing else to do. 4. because it's an ingrained behavior that I haven't been able to rid myself of or adopt the tools to manage it.

I don't think that a person has HAD to have been abused or HAS to have low self-esteem in order to binge eat. I think a lot of it is due to the chemicals in our brains - mainly seretonin - not functioning properly. It also becomes a source of entertainment, instant gratification and something to do when there is nothing else. Also, some people just simply like the taste of food and, for whatever reason, they just can't quit eating when they're full because it tastes so good. I binge for that very reason sometimes, but I think the problem is much deeper, stemming from some innate, buried fear that the food won't be around anymore like when I was younger. For others it may stem from an overbearing parent who berated them about all the starving children in Africa and why they MUST clean their plate - even when the portions were too big to start with.

It's a very complex problem, but I hope that has given you some idea and insight.

Take care.

Alisha
HourglassLass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 12:07 PM   #5  
ButDoesntWannaLookLikeOne
 
LovesBassets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 779

S/C/G: 230/218/170

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HourglassLass
He would let the food supply dwindle down until there was vodka in the freezer and mustard in the fridge. It would stay that way for a couple of weeks until he got a bee in his bonnet about shopping. THEN he'd go out and spend $300 on food! So, half the time I was gorging myself on hamburgers at school because there'd be no food at home or gorging myself on the feast he'd brought home from the store because I didn't know what to eat first! A lot of the time during the summer I'd grab 'food' from the local 7-11 or eat at the local university's student union when I was hanging out with friends.

Then there was my mother...she ate (and still eats) like a bird. Pick and peck at stuff because food basically bores her.

Wow, Alisha! Do WE have alot in common!! Reading your post was like hearing someone describe my life! There are some differences, of course. I lived with both my parents growing up, but my Mom was anorexic (90 - 100 lbs at 5'8") and my father was a compulsive/secret binge eater. We never had food in the house because my mother wouldn't ALLOW food in the house. Essentially, there would be a half-empty jar of pickles, a few lemons, and out-of-date, curdled milk. My father stashed HIS food (Doritos, chips, cookies) in his car, dresser, and workroom. So like you, I grew up having no idea WHAT to eat -- and (also like you) when I finally left home I was faced with this phenomenal choice of food! Yummy things...things like...Doritos, chips, cookies which were familiar and reminded me of my Dad (who died a week before I went to college). I ALSO -- like you -- had a very unhelpful/"destructive" pediatrician who told me at the age of 11 that I needed to lose twenty pounds. I was 5'4" and 140 lbs. Which, by the way = a normal BMI, and when I get to that weight again, I will be a size 8. So he told me to lose weight and then sent me home to a home of total food chaos -- he never gave me advice or suggestions or even a food pyramid -- just said "You need to lose twenty pounds." I also moved to England (I'm back now) but that's another odd similarity between us.

I don't think I have a binge eating *disorder*, but I do know that in the past I have used (large amounts of) food as a source of comfort during lonely, stressful, and scary times.

- Kate
LovesBassets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 12:16 PM   #6  
Senior Member
 
srmb60's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ontario's West Coast
Posts: 13,969

S/C/G: 165/147/128

Height: 5'3"

Default

Here's the sexual abuse angle .... If i'm pudgy and unattractive maybe no one will pay attentin to me. If I'm thin and attractive maybe I'm bringing it on myself ... asking for it ... as it were.
Goofy, but a true mindset. Sadly, much more prevalent than we can imagine.
srmb60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 12:24 PM   #7  
Life is a cabaret
 
HourglassLass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 71

Default

Wow Kate, that's so amazing that we share so many similarities! It's nice to know that I'm not just a lost soul floating around out there somewhere! Thanks so much for sharing!

Alisha
HourglassLass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 12:33 PM   #8  
ButDoesntWannaLookLikeOne
 
LovesBassets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 779

S/C/G: 230/218/170

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HourglassLass
It's nice to know that I'm not just a lost soul floating around out there somewhere!
That's just how I felt, Alisha! It really IS nice to know there's someone else out there who has such a similar (and screwy) upbringing as me. Another similarity is how we both "went elsewhere" for food. I used to go out with friends after school for *dinner* because I knew I wouldn't get any food at home. I decided at some point that eating a Big Mac, large fries, and large shake 3 - 4 days a week was better than sucking on a lemon for dinner. Which makes sense, obviously...but my "after school dinners" were really VERY scary. If it wasn't a Big Mac it was a pizza, or a pint (or more) of ice cream, or a big bag of Smartfood, etc., etc., etc.

So yeah, it's nice to hear your story and know you're *out there,* too.

Where are you in England? I lived in Buxton, Derbyshire.

- Kate

Last edited by LovesBassets; 08-30-2005 at 12:36 PM.
LovesBassets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2005, 12:52 PM   #9  
Life is a cabaret
 
HourglassLass's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 71

Default

Actually Kate, I'm not in England anymore. I lived in the Leeds, West Yorkshire area but I moved home on New Year's Eve after spending 7 years there. It was just so expensive! I don't think people can quite grasp what I mean when I say that I couldn't afford to eat well, but the best parellel I can think of is living like a college student again. Peanutbutter sandwiches, ramen noodles (or Pot Noodles as they call them) potato chips (crisps) tinned meat pies, frozen chicken/fish fingers/chicken nuggests (made of God knows what...). That is the type of thing we could afford.

When I was by myself, I tended more towards the cheap "take aways" (usually Indian fast food joints) where I could get a large pizza for 5 pounds, a burger for 4.5 pounds, etc. I'd just buy loads of that stuff and split it between meals or gorge on it and then go without food entirely for a day or two. When I think back to that type of eating pattern it really upsets and disturbs me. But, when you bring home just over 1,000 pounds a month and your bills (before food) come to just over 900 pounds, what can ya do?

Alisha
HourglassLass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2005, 04:30 PM   #10  
Member
 
Taramoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 45

Default

My binge eating is a control issue. It is how I regain control of my life when it feels out of control (unlike the anorexic who stops eating to regain control).

I try to remember H.A.L.T. when I am about to mindlessly binge.

HALT = hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

I keep this on my fridge and it works much of the time. Most often my eating is worse when I am tired or thirsty.

Liz
Taramoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2005, 12:59 AM   #11  
Senior Member
 
icedragon6669's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 417

Default new here!

I am new here! but i can give the sexual assault angle...
Was assualted by 2 people ALL my childhood (4-13) was always called names... wh**e, bi**h, sl** (which of course the forum will cut out!) but it is hard , to see that my life is worth something, so a lot of the time, i am in a haze in which i don't care about myself!
I eat becuase I don't care! I am careful on what i feed my kids, to give them balance. but for me, dinner can be a bag of chips bottle of soda and a block of chocolate, and when i am laying in bed in screaming pain (belly ache) I just think "serves yourself right" but the next day i will do it again! I just binge... its like wrapping myself in food, and i don't have to think about anything else.. food is bliss!
Yes I know it is wrong.. totally, but it is all or nothing, if you eat one piece of chocolate, might as well eat the block, and anything else in the cupboard!
I cannot get my head away from this, i can get to my goal weight, have done so many times, but as soon as junk food hits my tounge I am lost again!

Alisha your story is truelly amazing! I just hope we all can learn and grow wiser, we all know the problem, all know the solution, but can we care enough to see it change for the better.

I must say though i don't think i eat to make myself unattractive, i think by being obese you actually get more attention? and mean people pointing and laughing! When I am at my goal weight, i seem to go unnoticed more! which I do like?
I think food itself is like drowning, you can put you whole self into it and ignore the world!

Last edited by icedragon6669; 10-05-2005 at 01:03 AM.
icedragon6669 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2005, 11:51 PM   #12  
Senior Member
 
madscientist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The Rockies
Posts: 150

Default

I'm new here too (been lurking forever though) and I'm definitely a binge eater. My mother was a "feeder." She fed everything from major illnesses to bad moods/days. And that's how she said "I love you," because she never did actually say it until the day before she died.

She also would alternate between doing that and putting me on strict diets starting when I was 4. Then she'd tell me I was a hopeless case, and go back to feeding me the huge portioned southern fried food. (I have pictures of me sucking on Coke and french fries when I was less than 2 years old, and I was eating Big Macs before I was even in kindergarten). And if I didn't eat all of it, I'd get yelled at because she "stood over a hot stove all day long, and you aren't going to eat what I fix for you, you ungrateful little s**t?" I'd say, but what about my diet? She'd say, "You're fat anyway and you're too lazy to do anything about it so it's pointless." I realize now that, to her, I was rejecting her way of showing me love and that's why she acted it out. Doesn't make it alright, it just makes me take it less personally which is helpful to my psyche.

The cycle went on and on until I left home. I feel alot of guilt when I don't eat everything that's given to me and that's part of it. I eat compulsively because geez! It just tastes so good! I can never get enough, and I know i'm using it to fulfill an emotional need.

Also, I was abused, and being overweight is the quickest way to ward off attention, and I've been utilizing that for 10 years. When I lose enough that I start getting attention, I start feeling so vulnerable and stressed that I gain it all back. It's a protector and a prison.

Yes, I am in therapy. LOL.
madscientist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 12:00 AM   #13  
Senior Member
 
madscientist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: The Rockies
Posts: 150

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by icedragon6669
I must say though i don't think i eat to make myself unattractive, i think by being obese you actually get more attention? and mean people pointing and laughing! When I am at my goal weight, i seem to go unnoticed more! which I do like?
I think food itself is like drowning, you can put you whole self into it and ignore the world!
You know, that's really very true about getting more attention. I get that too. I have had total strangers ask me why I'm so fat. It's ridiculous but it makes me feel more violated in much of the same way as someone making comments about my body if I were a thin little hottie. I mean, my thin friends can be wearing just jeans and a t-shirt and they get hollers from guys. Me, I get laughs and sneers. It just seems so... unsafe if they like you. (I'm working on that one...) So I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. But at least being fat won't get me assualted again (or, there's less chance anyway) even if it does hurt like **** when people are mean to me because of being obese.
madscientist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 02:08 AM   #14  
back on the wagon
 
lateralus98's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 331

S/C/G: 196.2/187.8/115

Height: 5'1.5''

Default

I need help. I am a VERY compulsive eater. I think it comes from a need to not feel deprived becuase I was so ignored when I was younger. I was abused in all the ways there are. I just need help and I feel so helpless.
lateralus98 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 07:33 PM   #15  
Senior Member
 
icedragon6669's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 417

Default

Mad scientist! I had the same! i always had to eat every scrap on my plate or else! Although i never got put on a diet growing up. i was always skinny(until i hit the teens), But i can remember i hated carrots and man i still do (although i do eat them) but my mother was yelling and yelling at me, and then started forcing me to eat them! (iwould have been 8-9y.o.) so i put one in my mouth and ended up vomitting EVERYWHERE. I can't remember her making me eat as much after that, but it is still ingrained in me to eat everything! (but i think for my mother it wasn't love, but it was the money, ie, that cost money and you dare waste it)
in my childhood every cent mattered although my parents were not poor. It is such a hard thing to get over!Its hard because i see myself doing it to my kids! But i try to compensate by putting less on their plates, and saying if they want more to get more, and then having left overs in the fridge. but that caused me a problem, i can't throw food away, and no one else would eat left overs in my house, so I have to eat them or feel bad about throwing them away!!!!! hence i got fat!!!!!
Still can't throw food away!! so i try to cook less!! Maybe I need a shrink , or to go the fridge and force myself to start just throwing it out!!

I don't think that being fat will stop me being assaulted, the next ******* that tries to hurt me will end up burried! I will not take it ever ever again!
I even say that if anyone touches my girls.... watch out!!!!!!
My doctor even said he notices the way i watch my girls, and realised i was an assualt victim, he said it was very normal!

Its funny, we all seem to know why we over eat, but knowing does not solve that problem? It makes it harder, as we know how we are supposed to stop, but are stuck on one track!
icedragon6669 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:59 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.