I'm new here but not new to the struggles we all go through.
This is only day 6 for me, once I make it through today. The last few weeks have been so awful in terms of staying on plan for a day or two (IF I'm lucky it would be 2...), then binging. Part of the problem is my boyfriend got the super premium ice cream from costco for a party we had a few weeks back and nobody ate it. That is TWO containers of ice cream at 280 cals a serving. And ...yeah...right...I'm going to just weigh out one serving. So several days last week and the week before I ate 1000 calories of JUST ice cream! Uggg. Luckily that's gone now (because of me) and I told him we can NOT have that in the house anymore.
This week has been good. (I aim for 1600/day) Tuesday I had 2000 because I had an extra glass or two of champagne at a work function, but I was happy that it didn't cause me to come home and snack out on salty or cheesy stuff like drinking often does. And, according to my Fit Bit, I still burned more that day than I ate. So I don't consider that day a failure, just not ideal.
I too am worried about the weekend. I'm going out with a friend tomorrow night and I know I'll have some drinks. And I want to and need to. So my choices are: Work those 3 glasses of champagne into my plan and stay at 1600, or allow a higher calorie day but still refuse to binge. (Honestly, 3 glasses of champagne is about 300 calories, so it's not like we're talking about a huge issue.) I'll workout tomorrow, and having this FitBit tell me my calorie burn each day helps me keep it in perspective.
Sorry to ramble. It's just nice to be able to talk about this stuff with someone. I could never let my boyfriend hear this internal conversation. He already thinks I'm too obsessed every time I pull out my kitchen scale.
Today is my first day being binge free. I have always know that it was an issue. Even as a child I would eat so much that I would throw up. It is nutty to me that food is a comofort thing to me. I HATE it. I am so glad that there is this amazing support group to help me finally get over this nasty cycle.
I have been 4 weeks without a binge today! I am very happy about this! I am gonna try SO HARD to do this for at least the rest of march...which is halfway over ALREADY so I think I can make it. Time is flying by this year. I ended up weighing myself today and I am at 156 lbs. lol Its taken 4 weeks of non-binging and being on plan to get even close to the weight I was at just like 6 weeks a go. If I stayed on track or at least just cut my binges down by half I might be in the 140s by now. This makes me kind of depressed. However I am getting close once again and that makes me happy. ; )
I'm upset because I realized something today. Last Saturday my fiancee & I went out to lunch. I finished what I ordered, and I was still hungry. He had ordered fried fish sliders, and had 1 left over. He offered it to me. I was honstly still hungry, it was not just in my head. I was afraid to eat the fish sandwich, because "fried" foods usually act as a "gateway food" for more high-calorie foods. I was hungry, though, so I ate it. I am not upset about that. I AM upset because AFTER I ate the fish sandwich, and felt horribly guilty about it, I came home home and ate MORE food that I WASN'T hungry for. Then I kind of said "well, I've already broken some rules, may as well break them all" and the next few days over-ate. I didn't BINGE-- like I didn't all-out eat like a total pig. I just over-ate at meals, and didn't care. I ate a huge slice of cake after dinner. I ate extra crackers that I didn't actually feel physically hungry for. I grabbed 2 cookies, intead of 1. I'm just mad at myself, because I've been doing that all week. I let a stupid fish sandwich derail me. If I let the fish sandwich be 1 exception to an otherwise good week, then no problem! But it's all the extra things combined that hurt my efforts.
I'm curious as to what point we consider ourselves to have binged. Like, is it a calorie amount, a physical sensation in the body, etc? Is it simply going 'off plan', even by 100 calories? Where do you define it for yourself?
For me it's that out of control feeling. Like, Tuesday I went off plan by 400 calories but didn't consider it a binge because it didn't have the emotional charge.
I think it's probably different for different people... for me a bing is I start eating something I know I shouldn't and I eat the WHOLE thing rather than stopping at 1 or 2 servings.... my problem is I do this and then I do it again the next day .... saying oh I give up and continue down this dangerous road!
I agree just10... a binge for me has its own emotional and physical aspect where I'm eating myself into a food coma--I'm eating even though I'm not hungry, even though I'm uncomfortably full, even if I'm not really enjoying it, and there's really no way to get myself to stop eating.
There are definitely times when I go over my calorie limit, or overeat a little bit, or snack when I'm not hungry, but I don't really consider it a binge until I get that out-of-control feeling.
8:00 am: Alright, if I want to hit my weekly goal, have to be on track today. ate my normal yogurt for breakfast.
9:30 am: Co-worker brings in steaming platter of the best smelling tray of chocolate chip cookies EVER. (thinking to myself) I'm not eating one. I can't eat one. Maybe I can eat half of one....maybe i'll eat just a small one. ate a small one
10:00 am: ate a big one
10:30 am: only two cookies left on the platter, must get a third before they're all out!
11:00 am: what is wrong with me?? why do I have no self control? why are those cookies so damn good? god I missed sweets.
1:00 pm: at a company event. they're serving my favorite, wings! well they are my favorite, maybe I can have a few. I already messed up today, how much could it hurt? Today is gone anyway, might as well make the best of it and really splurge (yah cuz THAT makes sense).
3:00 pm: By 3 pm, I proceeded to eat 6 wings, 3 onion rings, a jalapeno popper, piece of cheese quesadilla, and some fries.
5:00 pm: Well I screwed today up. While I'm at it I might as well stop and get ICE CREAM for dinner. then I won't eat anything else I swear
6:00 pm: popcorn with butter
6:30 pm: chocolate with mouse
Now: I hate myself. Why does this thought process always go down in my head? The second I mess up I convince myself its logical to keep on messing up for that day. How can I keep convincing myself of that? How can I keep on believing that? Why am I sabotaging all my hard hard work?? I really have been trying so hard to be healthier. I wish I didn't do this to myself.
