Today is Day 32! Thanks everyone who congratulated me on the one month. I did not think I would be able to make it this far. But I noticed something today: not binging has improved my body image. At least in the sense that I don't find myself in a state of obsessive self-loathing about it anymore. This makes sense, since I guess those moments would only come after binges and I haven't had any binges in a while. Keep it up, everyone! It's been so worth it.
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Day 2. It was a really rough week, and I'm feeling so much better to be 2 days clean. Why can't I remember that binging makes me feel absolutely horrid?
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Eurydice -- you made a comment that really hit home for me ... self-loathing, I know it all too well. You really stated a very simple and obvious fact that not bingeing -- even if it doesn't translate into weight lost -- does wonders for how you feel about yourself. How true. I guess a lot of it is knowing that you're actively DOING something, MAKING healthy choices which in turn must flip a psychological switch. Having said that, I decided to weigh myself this morning and am up to a post-binge 125 as opposed to my usual 120-122. Does it make a huge difference in how I look? No. But those 3 lbs really, really irk me and put me in such a huge funk. I am trying to tell myself that I probably didn't consume 9,000 calories (really don't think I did) to have actually gained 3 lbs and that even though I'm already on day 6 of "clean" living, they will most likely disappear from the scale sometime quite soon. Until then, I am trying so, so, so hard to not let this vanity weight bother me. But it's tough...off to my 30 minute walk to the movies now :) always trying be on the move!
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Day 19!
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Day 22!
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Day 3.
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day 5! 2 more till a week in!
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I just binged on chocolate I had bought a friend for a souvenir.
11 truffles. Left the 12th because it was a flavor I didn't really like. I'm so embarrassed about it that I was tempted not to post it on here and pretend like it never happened. |
Day 7...by tonight I'll have had a binge free week. Luckily I do not like football so no Superbowl parties for me. I'll be cleaning and rearranging my spice cabinet and medicine drawer. Seriously. And I'm looking forward to it.
Good behavior yesterday: as I was coming home from a night out (only 1.5 glasses of wine and it was plenty) I had an attack of the munchies. Made a sensible choice and bought the Atkins version of Reese's peanut butter cups. Kind of blech...but an OK substitute. I only had one, which was enough to curb the potential binge. Yey. |
day 23. spent most of day sleeping as on night shifts just need to stay on track thru the night.
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Day 20, but having a hard time for the past 3 days. I want to just hog out all time, I'm eating too much junk food here and there, my weight is going up.
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ugh just binged. wasn't planning on going to a superbowl party, but then when i decided to go all my plans went out the window as I thought "well, going to eat a lot tonight anyway, so might as well start now!"
ugh. disgusted. and still going to eat later at the party, even though i'm stuffed now. |
Not doing so hot lately! Rather than waiting until the end of a successful day tomorrow to post "day 1" I'm just going to try to deal with the rest of today and post about that NOW. Purely speculative, but I think I get into a bad cycle with carbs and blood sugar and then it's really hard to get out.
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Day 120!!!
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Thanks for the welcomes.
I went away for a mini-vacation and was surprisingly very good... probably because I don't binge in public. Actually made it 5 days, which at home, would be very hard for me. Came home today and guess what happened? Binge. Ugh. I'm thinking I need to try changing up my environment... maybe go for a walk or stay out of certain rooms in the evenings. I'm really impressed with all of you who have made it so many days... it gives me hope! |
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