DH is playing with a college buddy this week. I find I appreciate him in all new ways when he is gone.
Today is Day 5 OP. Lots of credit for not using the extra tasks and chores I have as an excuse to say, "Oh, I will start next week." Especially big credit for not succumbing to the candy bug when I started to feel super blue at work. What did I remember today that I usually forget? I want to write it down and keep it in my desk.
Super tired. I seem to be aiming straight for the bed these days- happy for the retreat from people and their emotional expectations. Maybe it is my expectations. I get confused sometimes.
My day snowed in at home was hard for me food wise. I was really hungry well before lunch time. I managed to keep all my food to reasonable choices but it was spread out much differently than it usually is--and I'm not quite sure why.
The pilates class got cancelled at work and I didn't do a substitute workout at home.
I'll be traveling the next few days--I'll check in--and I'll also be continuing my recording streak. I've promised myself some Chicago pizza--and a small pece of my grandmother's birthday cake, and the rest--good choices and OP.
I am back after a terrible run of unhealthy and destructive eating. Thanks to a PM from one of my Beck friends I am up to facing some hard realities. I just read many posts and, as ever, you are all so helpful.
I really took to heart to what gardenerjoy wrote to onebyone:
"I'm really coming to a place of acceptance that I'm an overeater and will always need a plan. That could seem unfair, but considering we're in the midst of an obesity epidemic, I really think that most people need a plan in our current broken eating environment. We're the lucky ones who know we need a plan. Fortunately, I have this response card and I believe it to be true: I'm a happier person when I'm following my plan.
Thanks for that. It is absolutely true. I need to find a plan and I need to remember that following a plan means I feel better- physically, mentally and emotionally. It's as simple and as complicated as that!
Just a quick check in - I have just finished dinner at 8.30 and given I go to bed at 9pm it is way too late. It has been getting later and later each evening for some reason and it just doesn't work. I wake up so early I need to go to bed early or I am exhausted.
I had to go to a funeral today and there was a function over lunch time - I decided that most of the food there was probably not going to be suitable so I organised lunch back at work and didn't eat at the function except for one small something on a cocktail stick (I had decided beforehand to try a couple of things). Can't log it on MFP because too obscure. I got back to work and had my lunch and all was well with my plan
Credits today: had a plan and food OP; logged food in MFP; weighed myself and logged my weight; walked to 8,000 steps; posted to coaches; ate sitting down - 50%
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Streaked to 78 with snacks on plan, CREDIT moi. Meals were on plan also. DW baked seasoned root veggies to go with salmon for dinner. It felt winter appropriate. She used fingerling potatoes that were nearly black on the inside - both tasty and attractive.
Worked the new snow thrower for exercise, CREDIT moi. It handles about half the space in our small city property; the tight areas need a shovel. As a newbie behind the machine, I found the challenge to aim the snow toward a space that hadn't already been cleared. Did some double duty. With about 12 inches it served its purpose well. I wasn't tired from the heavy lifting so I didn't get as cold and worked for nearly three hours without a break. That included lots of time fiddling about with the neighbors who co-own the machine with me. Good news: It started on the first pull; we didn't have to bring out the long extension cord to use its electric starter. I was impressed.
onebyone – Yay for restarting when that's what's needed. I seem to have trouble with this one, "I am not 25."
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats on a three pound loss in response to 100 minutes of shoveling. I, too, am grabbed by, "will always need a plan."
CeeJay - Don't we all need this, "I need to remember that following a plan means I feel better- physically, mentally and emotionally."
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Thanks for the reminder, "do something nice for me."
Cheryl (seadwaters) – LMAO at "one small something on a cocktail stick" - methinks I've had one of those.
FutureFitChick – Hope your doctor's visit goes well. Kudos for "I used NO CHOICE." [The oven was from about 900 BCE shown on the map northeast of Egypt in the current Palestine. I tend to get the cultures of that time period confused. They not only had EV Olive Oil, but were seasoning with cumin - what more does one need? I need to remember that it probably took thousands of years for Olive Oil to lose its virginity.]
maryann - Yep, Kudos for avoiding the candy-bug at work.
Beth (bethFromDayton) – Yay for a plan that includes "Chicago pizza--and a small pece of my grandmother's birthday cake." Have a good trip.
ForMyGirls - Cheers for enjoying your work. Kudos for water with dinner when that's what you planned. Love, "feeling not eating."
AZtricia - Like being reminded that we can have pizza - with a plan, "Planning 1 piece with veggies."
Readers -
Quote:
day 11Differentiate Between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings
Monitor Your Hunger
what are you thinking? Sabotaging Thought: Why do I need to know the difference? I'm just going to follow my diet plan anyway. Helpful Response: When I get to maintenance, I can be more flexible with my eating if I eat only in response to hunger. Unless I practice differentiating between hunger and craving now, I won't be able to do this successfully and I'll gain weight.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 119.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Streaked to 78 with snacks on plan, CREDIT moi. Meals were on plan also. DW baked seasoned root veggies to go with salmon for dinner. It felt winter appropriate. She used fingerling potatoes that were nearly black on the inside - both tasty and attractive.
Worked the new snow thrower for exercise, CREDIT moi. It handles about half the space in our small city property; the tight areas need a shovel. As a newbie behind the machine, I found the challenge to aim the snow toward a space that hadn't already been cleared. Did some double duty. With about 12 inches it served its purpose well. I wasn't tired from the heavy lifting so I didn't get as cold and worked for nearly three hours without a break. That included lots of time fiddling about with the neighbors who co-own the machine with me. Good news: It started on the first pull; we didn't have to bring out the long extension cord to use its electric starter. I was impressed.
onebyone – Yay for restarting when that's what's needed. I seem to have trouble with this one, "I am not 25."
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats on a three pound loss in response to 100 minutes of shoveling. I, too, am grabbed by, "will always need a plan."
CeeJay - Don't we all need this, "I need to remember that following a plan means I feel better- physically, mentally and emotionally."
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Thanks for the reminder, "do something nice for me."
Cheryl (seadwaters) – LMAO at "one small something on a cocktail stick" - methinks I've had one of those.
FutureFitChick – Hope your doctor's visit goes well. Kudos for "I used NO CHOICE." [The oven was from about 900 BCE shown on the map northeast of Egypt in the current Palestine. I tend to get the cultures of that time period confused. They not only had EV Olive Oil, but were seasoning with cumin - what more does one need? I need to remember that it probably took thousands of years for Olive Oil to lose its virginity.]
maryann - Yep, Kudos for avoiding the candy-bug at work.
Beth (bethFromDayton) – Yay for a plan that includes "Chicago pizza--and a small pece of my grandmother's birthday cake." Have a good trip.
ForMyGirls - Cheers for enjoying your work. Kudos for water with dinner when that's what you planned. Love, "feeling not eating."
AZtricia - Like being reminded that we can have pizza - with a plan, "Planning 1 piece with veggies."
Readers -
Quote:
day 11Differentiate Between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings
Monitor Your Hunger
what are you thinking? Sabotaging Thought: Why do I need to know the difference? I'm just going to follow my diet plan anyway. Helpful Response: When I get to maintenance, I can be more flexible with my eating if I eat only in response to hunger. Unless I practice differentiating between hunger and craving now, I won't be able to do this successfully and I'll gain weight.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 119.
Today i caved and chose food over feelings. Not a catastrophically large amount so i shall give myself credit for changing my life such that when i drown my feelings in food the feelings come up gasping for air pretty quickly.
Funny thing is in the craziness of it all i forgot to weigh this morning so i will be weighing in tomorrow after an evening of bad behaviour. Oh well. It is just information.
Hopefully the stress is over for a bit now - could be some after shocks for the next few days but it is mostly done. Probably why i misbehave tonight - it was finally time to breathe again.
Looking forward to being back in the world of seeking perfection again tomorrow :-)
Hello lovely people, I'm just checking in quickly to say thanks for being there at the start of my Beck journey
Things are going well, I have stuck to my eating plan since New Year's Day, I am still working very gradually through the Beck book and using the techniques (more and less depending on the days).
I have however found that the forum format doesn't work very well for me to check in regularly, and a friend of mine has recently set up a Facebook group which is working better for me as a diet coach the way my life is at the moment, so I probably won't be posting here again - but I didn't want to just disappear without saying thanks for getting me started!
Weighed, wrote my food plan(beside the refrigerator) and am writing a post. Streak 3. Credit.
Yesterday's plan needed tweaking-we didn't head to our usual Denver spot but instead met at the buffet where mom, DH, DD, baby AND I could compromise and all have what we needed/wanted. The good news is that yesterday's plan works for tonight so I don't need to rewrite. My change in "plan" for last night was simple-grapefruit (yum) and a serving of my vegan popcorn for evening snack. credit.
AZTricia, you asked about buffet eating. Here's my system. I found the buffet where nutritional info was online. Determined that their veggies were not calorie laden and observation was that the salad bar was "fresh". When we get there my DH heads right for food. I get drinks and utensils. Then I get a plate which has only veggies and a bit of salad. By the time I eat slowly and enjoy that my DH is finished with plate 2. I then get another plate which has more veggies and I have "bites" of different items, yet do not partake in anything not on MY plan. Those few bites of different items are satisfying and I eat them slowly. By the time I enjoy my 2 plates, my underweight DH has had 5. He loads up on desserts and I have a very small NSA frozen yogurt. I monitor my hunger and never leave overfull. Weight seems ok the next day letting me know my plan is acceptable.
CeeJay, glad to see you back here. I had my thinking cap on this morning as I did household chores. Reminded that Dr. Beck says we need to make time for dieting. My check-ins everyday, although not always here, really help. As an overeater, I need to keep in check every day or I quickly revert back to old uncontrolled habits.
MaryAnn, kudos for not letting the daily "stuff" interfere with you restarting your back to basics plan!
ForMyGirls, credit for not letting a day off plan derail you but making a plan to get right back to business!
BBE, credit for a continued and kudos-worthy streak!
FutureFitChick, I'm reminded how well BBE does following a plan when his DW does all the cooking. Isn't it one well thought out plate of what she's serving? Not knowing your DH's habits you might certainly need to find some parameters of what is acceptable and what is not....Quite often I will pass on stuff I make for DH. He eats fries I eat salad.....I also have nights where I will have yogurt/fruit while he has an entire meal....or cold cereal and a banana, which I find quite enjoyable now.
ETA-Kudos to systemaddict for finding a new and more convenient daily check in AND for coming to say goodbye. Best wishes although you probably won't read this.
Just completed Days 20 and 21. I was OP today (although maybe ate a touch too much a dinner). Yesterday was the first day that I went off plan with intent. I was OP for all three meals (although subbed a less-caloric option for what I had written down because husband really wanted to go out to eat and the choices were salad or cream-based pasta or fried fish/meat). Then I entered dinner into MFP and noticed I was at about 900 calories for the day. It was a big exercise day too (14000 steps – go me). Now let me caveat this next part by saying I know that’s not enough and I know I need to eat more calories than that to be healthy. Anyway, my brain told me screw the plan you gotta eat and I finished the leftover fish and chips that we brought home. It was reasonably modest. Here’s the thing: I should have gone to bed hungry. One low calorie day will not kill me. If I have some experiences like going to bed hungry, my theory is that I will learn to make better plans. If I just change the plan on the fly whenever I discover that my plan sucks, then I may as well not have a plan. It’s like if the troops just ignore the general whenever the plan is crap, then what’s the point of having a general?
So, I will:
1. Make a response card to “It’s ok to eat this because OMG I didn’t eat enough calories today” and I will read it the next time I’m in this situation. “Eating too few calories for just one day is not a big deal. I can remember to plan better next time. Besides, it’s a chance to build my resistance muscle.”
2. Enter my food plan into MFP the day before and adjust accordingly. (I have been writing the plan in my book and then entering into MFP when I eat the food.)
25 day exercise streak. 0 day sleep streak (but I’m only missing bedtime by minutes which is a huge improvement for me). I’m not going to streak diet, not even with an asterisk, because it’s just not binary for me.
3Ws (Weigh, Write a food plan, Write a post) streak: 3 Credit!
WI: +0.3 kg, Exercise: +70 300/1400 minutes for February, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
CeeJay: glad to see you back and that what I wrote helped. That's great encouragement for me to keep writing my posts!
BillBlueEyes: Boston was in the news last night. So glad that you have a machine to help deal with all of that. I shoveled yesterday, for the second day in a row. My debate this week was "Is it easier to shovel 2 inches of snow twice, or 4 inches of snow once?" I didn't decide on an answer but since I was going to need two days of exercise anyway, I went with theory one. Anyway, shortly after we got started yesterday, the neighbor kids came over -- 7th grade and 4th grade -- just the age to think of shoveling snow as fun. This was the first time they offered to help. They were a big help, moving lots of snow and doing most of the heavy lifting while I cleaned up behind them. We're hoping this is the first of many times over the next few years. DH paid them enough to make their eyes widen which will probably help the process.
ForMyGirls: I had an insight while reading your post. I think I'm more likely to overeat at the moment that "it was finally time to breathe again" than in the moment of stress. What's up with that? It's not really stress-eating. It's almost more like celebration-eating or accomplishment-eating. Or, if things didn't go that well but at least it's over, it's disappointment-eating and acceptance-eating. More about entitlement than stress. Interesting. I can work with that information.
It is Thursday night and today has been a tough day for hunger. I did not go over my plan, but came close and the choices today did not earn me an A++ in my plan. Yesterday I also made the mistake of thinking I could exercise then skip my afternoon snack before pizza. I waited and waited (ok about 20 minutes) for one slice to satisfy and fill me but it did not, so I gave into the temptation and had two slices. Thankfully the skipped snack and exercise covered the calories, but I won't do that again.
Eating OP (barely), Exercise also OP barely (should have done my DVD in addition to walking puppy), but -1 lb finally!
FutureFitChick sympathizing with your hunger and wishing I'd read your eggs idea. So glad PT is helping. No ideas for your meal plans, sorry. Hurray for off crutches!!!
maryann Congrats for 5 days OP and for resisting the candy.
bethFromDayton Great job for your flexibility in dealing with your day and still making good choices. Wishing you a safe trip.
CeeJay Welcome back. Hoping that your realization will halp you plan and stick to it.
seadwaters Glad that you are happy with your food today, great job on 8000 steps.
BillBlueEyes The baked veggies sound delish. Wow to three hours of snow clearing!
ForMyGirls Credit for a non-catastrophic and bounce back...and for acknowledging you feelings. Glad you can see your progress.
Lexxiss Congrats on your streak of 3. Thanks for sharing your buffet plan, I can see that being workable.
flnu Great job acknowledging the need for a new response card and credit for doing it. Congrats for 25 days of exercise!
gardenerjoy Congrats on you 3 credits. Glad you were able to get help with your snow.
Good night coaches...off to put kiddos to bed, then my turn!
A thing happened earlier this week that's burned my butt. I joined WW with a friend who announced she would do it her way and eat less than they recommended. I thought don't do that but stayed quiet. She stuck with it "her way" and is now down probably close to 30lbs, which I am happy for her as it's been as tough for her to lose weight as for me and she is 20 yrs older than me. She has concerns about maintenance, and that's good nad realistic and I think, wow you cut your calories so how will you manage that and then I think never mind. YOU have NEVER made it that far. So it's all mixed feelings but 99% supportive and I adore this person--a reason she and I joined WW together. So this past week she brought in some clothes that no longer fit her: a top and a really nice winter coat. She said they were for my mom, which is great, but she added, maybe you would want to try them? *sigh* She meant well, nothing on her as we had discussed her offering me clothes I could pass on to my mom, or that we could share, but I thought "OMG more fat clothes for me because guess what? You're fat. Or, rather, you're *still* fat."
I don't want anyone to pass their fat clothes onto me ever again, even with the best of intentions. I call this "motivation".
And on a more positive example of motivating myself to find and stick to a foodplan for the purposes of chemically transforming my body fat into water and energy and waste products, I found an art event I really want to get into. They do videos and take pictures and stuff and geez I am tired of shying away from the spotlight and the images. And this is an event I want to feel my utmost best at and if I feel energetic, young, healthy and strong that would be the best thing I can do for my artwork at this point. There is an online video of this event that had me imagining I was there and doing my own thing at it, and so I can view that video anytime for a reminder. I may want it more that the sugar or whatever in the moment. I need to surround myself with these kinds of visual interruptions and reinforcements of a healthy lifestyle and a world that is wide open vs. the secretive closeted life of an addictive overeater who is ashamed of their behaviour and who they have become or remain. I want to shed my low-level dissatisfaction with myself. Nothing gets done under that kind of mental cloud ever.
Today was OP foodwise until the DoubleTree cookie. I was feeling tired and stressed and it didn't occur to me to decline the cookies at checkin. I have a breakfast plan and dinner plan for tomorrow,and exercise will be walking all day at the Museum of Science & Industry.
Lunch will have to be as it's figured out--I suspect we'll be eating at the cafeteria at the museum.
Not posting personals let me get too far removed from staying engaged--I can't easily do personals while traveling, but I'll be reprioritizing that when I get home.
Thursday
I waited and waited (ok about 20 minutes) for one slice to satisfy and fill me but it did not, so I gave into the temptation and had two slices. Thankfully the skipped snack and exercise covered the calories, but I won't do that again.
Thursday checking in
