I make my food from scratch, because for so many years I had to. I washed my diapers, never bought baby food. I still buy most clothes used and we don't have a car.
We eat pizza now once a week, and can afford treats - new shoes and organic food... Slowly it's getting easier.
I was poor because I stayed home with my children for 15 years... and they had to cope with not having the clothes that their friends did/do and knowledge that going to a show was and still is a major event. Let alone Wonderland or Disneyland or ANY land.
No family vacations to far away places. We go camping. We have a membership to the museum.
We live pay to pay, still, after 19 years.
But what is it I really need?
Nothing.
I have my garden, my computer, a huge old house that I love and a great part-time job.
The wind agitates me as well Flower, we're getting a wind-storm on the weekend I think.
I think that I live on the edge of materialism, never quite diving in but still kind of reaping the benefits...
I posted this on the quotes thread but in light of today's conversations I thought it was relevant. Especially the last line.
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, then you are truly rich."
From the Book of Tao Te Ching
I had dinner with my parents the other day and my mom was talking about some friend of hers who is always bragging about how great all of her kids are doing and they have fabulous jobs and their own homes etc....Then she started about how DH and I should have a place, why can't we seem to get ahead when other people do, blah blah blah. I know she means well but..
So I said to her how do you know that these people are doing so well? You are just going by what your friend is saying and she never even mentions one of her sons names at all -guess he is the one not doing well so she doesn't talk about him at all. Just because people apppear to have things or their life appears to be perfect doesn't mean that it is. You don't see what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe their marriage is lousy and they just put up a great front, maybe they are drowning in debt to get these fabulous things they own
I told her that DH and I are happy with what we have. We have a roof over our head, we eat well, we have loving friends and family, we have jobs to support ourselves with, and we have a working second hand vehicle that gets us around. We are not in debt and have relatively good health. We have an amazing relationship with each other and our marriage has outlasted all of our friend's marriages who had better paying jobs, the car, the house, the kids. We have been told by many people that they envy us and wish that they could be in a successful relationship. Our relationship has survived the hard times, both financial and emotional ones.
I feel that we are blessed and we have enough. I just wish my mom could understand this.
My philosophy is this: No matter how bad you think things are in your life there is someone out there in the world who would gladly trade places with you. It puts things into perspective for me.
Flower, Lamorgan and Mauvais-
Very true! We have had a rough time in terms of jobs and finances and yet I would NOT trade places with any of our friends who are supposedly doing better. The four of us live on less than a lot of our single friends make, and yet we are not in debt. Some of that, to be honest, is due to the help of family. Mostly though, we do without all the "extra" stuff. My kids may not have the fancy shoes or name brand jackets, but they know that their parents love and support them. And they know that if we can scrape the money together somehow that they will go on the school trip to Chicago or Washington DC before we will buy expensive stuff for ourselves. Exploration and love beat out materialistic goods every time! YES, I would like to travel more or fix up the house, but even MORE than that I want MY family.
Mauvais, I'm sorry about what your Mom said to you. No matter how much we love them and they love us, our families are capable of saying some pretty stupid things.
You have a wonderful life! I often think of you and how "cool" it is that you've been married happily for so long WITHOUT the tie of having children! Material possessions don't mean a damned thing. And we shouldn't have to defend our choice of lifestyle to those around us. Are we whinging?! Maybe a little. But love and happiness keep us going... not houses and fancy cars...
love and hugs...
Whenever DH and I have troubles, especially financial ones, and we are getting irritable with each other because of it one of us always breaks the tension by sing the song "I got you Babe" by Sonny and Cher which makes us both break out laughing
We are at the point where just singing the opening of "Doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, they say our love won't pay the rent, before it's made our money's always spent" just gets us laughing and giving each other a big hug.
I had a poopy fight with the Cute Boyfriend last night and what you guys said has made me feel like it's not that bad.
You ever get in that place where EVERY LITTLE THING become too serious? Suddenly, you're having philosophical debates on what not taking the trash out this morning "really" meant? Argh!
I'm having lunch with him today, I'll give him a great big kiss and tell him I love him and try not to bring up the tea bag that was in the sink this morning
Hey girlies.
Ellis, do you know what book of feminist essays has that piece about waiting? I was reminded of that piece by Flower's post. and LA, thanks, nice sentiments.
I missed the oscars. But, I hadn't even seen one of the movies nominated so...and I didn't know who Charlie was either!
I did watch some of the reality show where young people are competing to be American Idol. I saw that some girls and guys who had "imperfect bodies" were in the competition and since I was home sick decided to watch some of it. Didn't see it all though. Got better. Went back to work.
If anyone else followed it let my know what happened to the fat girls!
Going to the gym tomorrow...hold me to that girls.
talk to you soon.
Soozie
The only reality show I watch is Survivor, and my reasons are... I don't know!! I call it my tacky-side. But my 13 year old daughter and I have watched all of them together but the first, and my husband and 15 year old son used to SNEER at us, and now they watch it too.
I get so attached to the characters, afterwards I miss them.
I'm working on my 2nd last assignment for the Fiction Genre course I'm taking for my Library Tech diploma. I'm really ready for this to be done. I'm pooped.
I love Survivor... and I watch American Idol whenever I remember its on. Survivor is sort of addicting, isn't it? Quite the drama. I'm sure I'd be kicked off the island immediately! Of course, I would never make it on since I don't have a perfect body.
Ever was Fear Factor? Oh watching that one sometimes can really make you lose your appetite. One week they were eating sheeps, cows and fish eyeballs. It was gross.
Well Sojo, in the other Survivors sex and body image did not play as big a factor as they do in this one Those girls, Jenna, Heide and Shawna, make me sick They are a horrible representation of women and an embarrassment to women everywhere! Not to mention lousy role models for young girls.
I find them dumb, shallow, vain, and completely useless - 5 hours to start a campfire! Sheesh! ( and not thinking of the kerosene ??) and lazy until Deana organized them all. Obviously those 3 were never girlscouts or went camping as kids.
I think Shawna is a whiny cry-baby or that she was faking it to get out of doing chores. People who don't believe the dead come back to life should have seen her when the men showed up at camp Her sudden "recovery" was nothing short of miraculous!
I can't believe that Heide and Jenna stripped for peanut butter and oreos! Boy those two come cheap and I wonder what their parents were thinking when they saw that
I hope Deena makes it to the final 4 or that she wins-it would certainly being a triumph of brains over bimbos if that happened.
The young men aren't much better-they behave like a bunch of hormonally charged teen age neanderthals who have never seen women in a bikini before! Again I say Blechh!
Well that is my rant for today
Last edited by mauvaisroux; 03-28-2003 at 01:08 PM.
Thank you for sharing that with us. 
No matter how much we love them and they love us, our families are capable of saying some pretty stupid things. 
Yup!
They are a horrible representation of women and an embarrassment to women everywhere! Not to mention lousy role models for young girls.
Well that is my rant for today 
