From 100 Days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangle (paraphrased somewhat by me)
The people around you probably don't know how to help you or what to say to support you unfortunately. They scold you about eating or they ignore the fact that you have lost weight. To get support instead of criticism you may have to train them.
Decide what kind of support you need. Words of encouragement? Silence? Help with cooking meals? Instead of being angry or frustrated let them know how they can help you. Speak up about challenges such as leftovers or open pizza boxes. Maybe you wish they would eat their snacks in another room instead of in front of you. Set up agreements by saying..."it would help me if...followed by what you want. For example, "It will help me a lot if we don't have potato chips in the house right now. Would you be willing to eat them at work instead of bringing them home?" Be sure you also let people know the things you don't want them to do or say. Do you enjoy being praised or having people comment on your progress? Or would you prefer they not say anything about your weight or looks right now? Let people know which type of comments feel good to you and those that make you uncomfortable. Also tell them about specific phrases that set you off. For example maybe you don't ever want family members to ask, "If that on your diet?"
Me - I hope this chapter tells some one but it really didn't me. I have tried all of this and it didn't work. Not because my dh doesn't want to help me, he does try but after a while he too becomes frustrated at being restricted...afterall it's his home too, mostly his earned money we buy groceries with. He doesn't understand why I just can't use will power like he can. Also I have to admit I am not consistent...sometimes I ask him for goodies even when I know I shouldn't have them....so this confuses him and I can understand. I have come to the conclusion that while I do ask him not to keep candy and some other treats around where I'll see them, he has a right to have them and to eat them whenever and where ever he wants. I have to learn to just ignore it or get out of the room. If I have enough calories/carbs in my plan that day, I will ask him if I can have some. If I eat it when I shouldn't well that's my problem and I have to work on it. I have asked him not to offer it to me, but occasionally he still does. I know he does not do this to be mean to me, but he loves me and likes to treat me. He is a very generous man. But that's just me, it might work for some of you.
From If I'm So Smart, Why Can't I Lose Weight? by Brooke Castillo (somewhat paraphrased by me)
Exercise Tool#5- Bribery
Another psychological technique that the author thinks is priceless is self-bribery and she highly recommends it as long as it doesn't involve food.
So bribe yourself to exercise with a reward or avoidance of a consequence.
Examples of things the author has done herself:
Read books or magazines you love only when on your bike
Listen to awesome music on your ipod when working out
Pick a nice area to walk in and enjoy the scenery
Listen to books on tape while walking
buy cute workoiut outfits and only wear them when working out
exercise with a friend so you can chat
hire a personal trainer
Pick an aerobics class that has high energy
join a gym that has great activies for your children
Tell your dog you are taking him for a walk. He'll get excited and you can't let him down.
Put a chart on the wall with exercise appointments and cross them off when completed. After a certain nuimber of workouts go in for a spa treatment
Ask yourself what you can do to make exercise more enjoyable. Rate your exercise event on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is you dread it and 10 means you can't wait to get it going. Once you have your number, think of what you can do to get it to at least a 5.
You can also use negative consequences as a last-ditch effort to commit to the schedule of working out. Some of her clients send her an email everytime they workout and every time they hit their baseline! Personal trainers and coaches can be an awesome tool to help you set high standards, break thru excuses, and make you commit.
One day down, two to go. Day off went by too fast. But it was kind of a nice one.
I was kind of disappointed Thursday evening and ended up kind of messing up with the food. I had taken along my bathing suit and stuff and planned to stop at the “Y” on the way home and water walk, and then take a soak in their hot tub. I looked forward to it all day, but then a late admission messed that up. I was sort of bad with the food, but not as bad as I could have been I guess. I didn’t do my grocery shopping on the way home because I knew that in the mood I was in, I would probably buy a bunch of junk. So, I just went home. I did eat a little junk at home, but not as much as I probably would have had I stopped at the store. I didn’t feel so good the next day (probably because of my bad food choices from the night before), so that was kind of disappointing ~ for my day off. I made myself get out and around ~ needed to go get a pair of shoes for work and had to do it while I had the car and the day off and time when DH didn‘t have to tag along. The hours of that shoe store aren’t so that I can go before or after work.
Later in the afternoon, Jason had invited me along to watch him and DGS Corbin play pool. There is a family fun place that has free pool from 4-7pm, so he takes Corbin on Fridays (Jason’s day off) and they have fun doing that. It was fun to watch them.
I’ve had a couple nice days of alone time. DH is staying over at Sara’s while she and SIL are away.
Sorry to not have done any personals. Almost bed time. The evenings just go by too fast.
Kind of frustrated this morning. I weighed in. Did not lose any ~ stayed the same (one day short of a week). I guess actually I should be thankful. I had journaled and measured, but messed up on Thursday and Friday. Not terribly so, but I guess I can not mess up at all ~ not even the tiniest little bit and make any progress.
Good morning...rainy and cloudy no flooding so far...Debbie is directly across from us and heading towards Gayle's. So early in the season for weatherfool hype.
Off to Publix for just a few things...surprising how little I need this week, but bridge tomorrow and eye on Tuesday makes today shopping day....In my next life i want: a shopper, a cook, a driver ....oh guess what I need is a wife! offf k3
Good Hola, All... KarenFL - are they tweaking your eye? Are you having re-cataract surgery (if that's a phrase?)? I'm glad the storm is veering away from you; however, my niece and her family live outside Houston, and I think it might be heading toward them... Anything going on with the dog situation?
And thanks for fretting about me and the HEAT. One of these days, my head will just explode. Nothing much will come out, so the general populace should be fairly safe. I finally felt "normal" after a few hours, although I have a residual headache this morning. It's nothing that will last.
I'm taking pizza to the AZ contingent today. They've been so good to GM this week, and I wish they'd just move in! GM LIKES Martha! She doesn't seem to like the rest of us, so we're dreading that they're going back home on Tuesday. Her eye is doing so well!
Better get a few things done while I can still move in comfort. I think today will be another bad one. We have 9 active fires in Colorado... Mama Nature is on a warpath!
Or I guess I should say good afternoon, since it's later. I slept late this morning and my morning is a little out-of-whack. I'm not used to sleeping in. We went to DGD's football tourney yesterday. Left at 8 in the morning, got home at 8 that night. I was exhausted, dirty, stinkey, stickey. It was fun and I know it won't be the last time, but i'm glad it's over. Nothing much to do today but the catch-up work that didn't get done yesterday, plus some grocery shopping for the week. They ordered pizza at the game. I had 3 pieces (just small squares, not really slices) That was breakfast, lunch and dinner. You make do with what you have. There were lots of snacks, but I didn't have those. I made homemade brownies (the good ones made from cocoa), with and without nuts. I wanted one of those brownies! I resisted. But this morning I woke up still wanting a brownie. I had a banana, and one of the special K bats. Of course that didn't take the craving away. So, I had a brownie too. I could have saved the calories from the banana and the bar by just having what I really wanted. So, I say, if you really want something, have a small serving. But that's just me. I know some of you have said that you can't do that. So, I guess I just say, Know yourself.
Karenfl, Sorry, It wasn't me that recommended that book. Not a book I would ever read, i'm not into romancies. Mostly mysteries. Some autobiographies. A little health.
Donna, glad to hear that GM eyes are doing so well. And of course we had no idea that you didn't like the heat! ha!
Gayle, You don't have to think of eating "junk" as a total mess up. Just exchange some of your calories for them. One good thing about counting calories is, you can exchange and eat anything you want. Of course, it's better to eat healthy any time.
Mary, the only thing I ask my husband not to bring into the house is Corn Chips. I have a really hard time with them. We're always going to be around food we shouldn't have. It's about decisions. But we can't restrict everyting that the rest of the family wants.
Ginger, of course it's not too late to lose weight and get health! We're just going to get older, right? Might as well make those years as good as we can make them. Oh, and WELCOME! Hope to get to know you.
Carol Sue, I guess it could make a difference on when you do arobics and strength training, I'm not an expert, and I don't know. It would make a difference if you go to a health club to exercise. I exercise at home and I don't usually do them together. I walk on the treadmill and I lift weights. I do think you need both to stay strong. I lift weights every-other day, but try to do some kind of arobic at least 5-6 days a week. it doesn't have to be a long time, just what ever amount of time you have. So many people say they don't have an hour or even 1/2 hour to exercise, so they don't take the 10 or 15 min they do have.
Rie, Hope those muscle spasms are a thing of the past!
Jane, Welcome!! I looked at your BIo and saw the beautiful painting. You are so talented! I don't like to stretch either, but I make myself do it. Your muscles need the blood supply after they have worked that hard.
Marie, did you get that tooth repared? I hate dentists. And doctors. Necessary people, I know. And I appreciate them being there when I need them, I just hate to go. I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow, just a check up. I'll go, but i'll whine. And compain, and Bit-- a little.
Oh, forgot to mention that I went to get my eyes examined Friday. I do need stronger reading glasses but nothing else!!! whoop, whoop!!
Freda
Last edited by the slim me; 06-24-2012 at 01:13 PM.
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Maryea - I really hate when someone says "Is that on your diet?" Don't give a compliment when I do good, or comment when I look thinner, but police every morsel I put in my mouth, especially when I slip up! I usually just smile and say, "It's in my calorie count for the day."
HI Y'all,
Feeling kinda weird right now. This is my 4th day. You Know, I hate using Word "die"t. Hmm? Healthy eating plan? kinda long. Anyway, The last time I weighed myself was a few weeks before I started my new life plan, I weighed 278 then, Yesterday morning I weighed for 1st time since starting again, having decided on Sat. Morning weigh in's, and weighed 270.6!
I smiled, shocked-but also down playing it to self ever since cause it's probably just water weight. I'd tell you my plan only I remmember reading something when I signed up about not plugging anything, does that include the books and tea plans I'm using?
I spent an hr earlier reading the forum-thread about people who have reached goal. At first I felt really encouraged, then became depressed as I read one 20 somethings loosing 133pds in 10 months on what I consider unhealthy plan, made me think of Oprah's red wagon of fat, and of my Crash diets over the years-yet I admit I first ran to google to see what she had done and was very tempted. Well, I pray she is able to keep it all her life, but I sincerly doubt it, but then that has been my experience, maybe she will be able to do it. I guess my "fast diet weary self can't be happy with my own weightloss for fear of regaining.
sorry, mind mush, had personal reply's now can't remember. Next time I should start with reply's , someday I'll get the hang of this forum stuff.
Ginger, you are welcome to share your plan with us. We arer so open to trying anything and even though we knowwhat works for one may not work for another we really want to learn healthy ways to stay on this journey! Oh, and your weight loss beginning is awesome--- we count everything here---it may be only water weight but it is still 7.4 pounds down on that scale!! Embrace it!! And congrats!!
I am watching the fires out in Colorado-- have several friends out there that are on the edges of the evacutation areas. I loved living in the mountains but fires are always a big concern... and then top that off with a person or persons that are going around and setting these fires---no words that I can say here!!
okay. I am back in here again. although I have ignored my desire to be healthy and i had caved into my cravings. today i awoke with a headache again. I know it is b/c i have been eating sugar laden foods.
so here I am ladies.
I do not like getting verbal affirmations from men about my weight loss.
Only from my husband and female friends.
attention from men weird me out.
Sorry I haven't been doing personals, still can't keep up with such an active posting group and love reading the posts.
Also am about to start work.
Just wanted to hop in and say that I don't really like anyone to comment on my weight or physicality or appearance in any way. I steer clear of doing that with others unless I am totally sure they want me to do so. It is just so hard to know what anyone is thinking about their bodies, I just leave it alone and expect others to.
I do, however, love to TALK about my weight loss/maintenance/fitness journey with friends who don't mind my little calorie counting obsession. But it can open up too many avenues with most people that I don't need or also make them think I am commenting on their weight/appearance when really I am only talking about me.
Morning..just reporting in while we have power. Lost again last night for hours. Debbie is drifting slowly over us and with a West wind the tide doesn't go out. It is hours until high tide and only inches from top of our seawall. Life is soggy here.
Dash absolutely refused to go out in the storm yesterday until DH opened the garage door. He ducked in under the bootle brush tree and hurried up his bussiness. He was still under the eaves of the house. May have to get him a rain coat and boots.
Should make something now for dinner since power is so iffy. BBL with personals. k3
K3...fingers crossed for you and uncross Dash's legs.
Donna...wasn't going to take time to post anything but had to comment on my email from you this morning.
What a tempting thing to send me, I watched just one show before adding the site to my favorites. It was Grocho Marx, Candice, Melissa and Edgar Bergen. Funny! You're right about entertaining ourselves for hours. You'll have to post the site here for everyone. Thanks, I think. My weeds are calling my name.
I just want to know one thing.... How in the world is it june 25th already. Holy Cow! the Summer is just flying by! I had a great time in the mountains this weekend. I am really hoping that I will spend evenings this week on my new camper and head out for the first run next weekend but we will see!
Karenfl, I am thinking of you in the storm and I hope that you are snug and cozy. Hopefully, the storm won't be too bad. Since I became one of the GG's, the national weather reports have new meaning. It seems as if I am often saying..."oh, that's where ___ lives. I hope she is ok!" Be well!
Bobbi, how is the house sale going? Those darn weeds sure come fast, don't they? I cleaned up my garden on Thursday and it is full of weeds again!
Amarantha, I have been through the range of people's comments about my plan and my weight loss. I have several friends on plans like IP and other meal replacement programs. They are always trying to get me on board with their plan. I have learned to be non-specific about my food plan. My favorite line.... "I just eat lots of green things and keep moving" They don't get it but they can't argue with me. The most irritating (in a comedic way) are the folks who stand there - obese- and explain to me that they know how I should be losing the weight. Of course, there are still folks who think that I had weight loss surgery.
Lucinda, Welcome back!
Ginger, welcome to the GG's. What kind of plan are you following?
CarolSue, I am amazed at the food police. My plan allows me to have small amounts of treats or other foods, I just have to compensate. I am also diabetic and I find that lots of people think that means that I can never have sugar of any kind. However, they think I should be eating more fruit and carby veggies.... Cuz fruit is healthy, right?
Freda, the football tourney sounds fun and long... I think it is so great that you always go. When my beloved Gpa passed a few years ago, all the kids talked about how much it meant that he was always there for our events and sports. He was a farmer who worked into his 90's and he never took time off. But, one of my 4-H events or my cousin's ball games would bring him out of the fields at any time. What precious memories you are creating Like you, corn chips are my addiction! I can't stick to a serving size and I can't have them in the house.
Donna, most of the Mt smoke jumpers are in Colorado. I hope they get things under control. Please don't wilt in the heat!
Rosey, I am reading "50 shades of gray" I can't stand to leave a book alone that everyone is talking about....
CaddyKaren, thanks for being here to always welcome the newbies. It is so important that someone responds when they stick their toe in the water here....
Lynn, what's up? are you buried in a summer class?
Gayle, I hope that the last couple days of your work this week are good. Hang in there. I have been wondering if you would get better results if you dropped your carb intake and increased the protein a little? No offense, but I have realized that with my blood sugar issues that 1200 calories of high carb (like fruit and stuff) makes my weight loss slow more than 1200 calories of protein with small amounts of carbs. Just wondering. However, I am NOT an advocate of the extreme low carb plans.... the weight comes right back! Thinking of you. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
Isabella, are you still being the lawn mowing diva?? Tood funny.
Mary, I am still enjoying the information that you are sharing from the books. It is really helpful.
Marie, are you lurking here? Hi! Miss you!
Well, sorry for anyone I missed... gotta hit the work trail.
Good morning! Things are going pretty good here. Still working on getting the hot tub set up. We thought it was a 110 or 220 hot tub, but come to find out it is just 220! So Tim had to run wire and set up a new box for the 220 for it. It is really close now though and I cleaned out the inside yesterday with Scrubbing bubbles and then Lysol! So should be just like a new tub! It really wasn't that dirty when we bought it and I just like to clean it and start out with just "our own dirt"!!
Rie, Did I miss something about your getting your new camper? Have you posted any pics anywhere? I know it is always fun setting up a new RV just for you! Tell us about it.
Donna, loved the site you sent too! I could get lost in there forever!! Shoot I keep going back to the eagles nest hoping to see them at least a couple more times before they shut off the camera on the 30th! So I could really just sit here and explore all day!!! Bad Bad!!!
Glad to see everyone posting and looks like everyone is staying busy. I need to get off of here and start getting some housework done before the day gets completely away from me. Be back later..
Holy Cow! the Summer is just flying by! I had a great time in the mountains this weekend. I am really hoping that I will spend evenings this week on my new camper and head out for the first run next weekend but we will see!
They don't get it but they can't argue with me. The most irritating (in a comedic way) are the folks who stand there - obese- and explain to me that they know how I should be losing the weight. Of course, there are still folks who think that I had weight loss surgery.
Cuz fruit is healthy, right?
I can't stand to leave a book alone that everyone is talking about....
Miss you!
