Hey EZ--sorry your kids visited during a record cold snap for some places. Why, it got into the 30s one night here, which for us is Brrrrrr. I had a fire in my fireplace a few days running--a relatively rare treat! We're going to be back in the 80s during the day soon.
Life is a little chaotic right now. Hopefully I'll be back to my normal dull and boring existence really soon and then I'll be able to get more time to post around here.
Gary - I hope I am going soft! Ya see, I never really learned to be nice to people.
I learned to not be obviously mean and nasty, but that is not the same as being nice. I learned to let people be mean and nasty to me - Believe it or not I once caught someone in the act of robbing my purse that I had left on a desk, and I actually apologized and walked away!!!! BUT that is not the same as being nice!!!!! I hope to learn how to be nice someday. (But that doesn't mean I have to start calling people "Honey," does it???)
Last edited by Spinymouse; 01-07-2008 at 02:25 PM.
Every day when I am walking from my car into work I repeat this mantra, "Be positive, be upbeat, be kind." It's not that I am naturaly mean but it takes a lot of effort to be kind. Being kind to people all day long is very exhausting. It is so much less demanding just to ignore them.
Every day when I am walking from my car into work I repeat this mantra, "Be positive, be upbeat, be kind." It's not that I am naturaly mean but it takes a lot of effort to be kind. Being kind to people all day long is very exhausting. It is so much less demanding just to ignore them.
Yes, you are right. Being kind to people is a lot of work. Usually I just try to "mind my own business" and be semi-invisible but that is less than ideal!
I may adopt your mantra.
I hate it when strangers call me "honey". I mean, I really hate it. I am short and good natured and that makes people want to call me "honey". Or "Hun". Hate that, too. One time I even reprimanded some young gal for callling me "honey". Spiny, you do not ever have to address someone as "honey" in the name of being nice. You have my permission. You didn't know that you would hit on one of my very favorite pet-peeves, did you?
Quote:
"Be positive, be upbeat, be kind."
is a very, very nice mantra for life.
I happen to like being called by my first name. I don't mind being called ma'am, or like southerners do, "miss" or "Miss Gail". In my job, lots of the sailors who call for info. call me Miss Gail. It sounds respectful, yet friendly.
There are people in the world who always take advantage of someone trying to be nice. They will talk for hours, never let you talk, ask to borrow money, never listen to anything you say and never reciprocate your kindness in any way. Those are the ones that wear you out. Avoid them. They usually have a few loose screws. You are not their mental health provider.
I sure know a lot for a short, good natured person, don't I.
Miss Gail,
I hate being called Honey, too. I mean, I don't even like honey, the food. Now if I were to call someone a term of endearment based on an ingestible thing that I liked, I'd be calling people things like Merlot, Cabernet, Chardonnay, Jameson's, Havarti, Brie, and Marinara.
OK Ladies...and I swear this is a serious question!
As most of you know I am 53 and quite good looking....hahahahaha
OK back to serious...I know a lot of women, because of the church members I know. Now then, at my age I may not always recall their names right off the bat. Many times I just call them "dear".....as in Good morning dear...does this offend anyone? I also call younger women that I don't know by name dear....as in Thank you dear...to a waitress, etc.
I have never had anyone object to my face....but...you just never know for sure.
I'm enjoying the "kind" banter! I am one of those people that always tries to be nice to everyone. And I've actually heard myself calling people "dear". I cringe when it slips out of my mouth. I'm used to "honey" Mom lives in TN, after all Being in a customer service job - I think I "wear" a personality like a piece of clothing. I put it on before I go to work and I take it off when I come home.
The weather is unseasonably warm here - fog and 40's all day - and a LOT of rain. It melted all of our snow. Now everything is brown and yucky and wet. UGH!
I tried Leslie's Shortcuts Upper Body Routine today. A simple dumbell routine that went by pretty fast. I did pilates this morning and I felt too sore to do a full weight machine routine. And after working all day and grocery shopping, I was too pooped to walk with her.
Spiny - hope those hind legs are doing better today!
Jay - glad you got to use your fireplace. They are so cozy - I love them!
It might just depend on what kind of mood I am in whether I object to anything or not. The following is NOT logical, so just take it for what it is worth....In my opinion you are, by definition, in an intimate relationship with people with whom you attend church. Therefore, it is ok to call the ladies "dear". I don't know what you should call waitresses or other folks with whom you have business. More not logical stuff: it doesn't irritate me nearly as much when a man calls me "honey" as it does when another woman does. I guess I think women should know better than to call each other "honey". Men are men.
Hey! I see that another interesting topic has come up! And we have Gary to thank...
I don't like it when men I don't know call me dear. If I don't know you, I am not your "dear"! It seems patronizing to me. But it doesn't bother me if women I don't know call me dear. I guess it's just my unconscious perception of a difference in society's "power balance," for lack of a better term.
How are all you honeys and dears and sweetie pies doing today? I had to go to a work-related meeting yesterday afternoon where I managed to avoid the cookies. It was no small feat for me, and I'm glad I did.
My current favorite reminder phrase is, "Only kind words come out of my mouth."
Gary, if I went to your church and you called me Dear, it wouldn't bother me. However I would also make sure I did something weirdly memorable so that you couldn't help but remember my name!
Now I feel like I'm listening to Bonnie Raitt here. I like her, but I wish she wouldn't put so many "darlins" and "babies" in her songs. That would be baby pronounced "bay-bay." I really don't want anyone to call me baby or bay-bay just because they are singing the blues.
I remember being a little kid and you know when you are about 7 or 8 or so the biggest insult anyone could give you would be to call you a baby, and I couldn't figure out why all those songs on the radio had people calling people baby. "Oh where oh where can my baby be, the Lord took her away from me....." AARGH.
Everyone!
You didn't know that you would hit on one of my very favorite pet-peeves, did you?
Hope you had a great day!
And we have Gary to thank... 