We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.
We want to invite everyone to join us in our journey.
We share laughter and tears.
We share what works for us and what doesn't.
We often use a "Topic of the Day" for discussion.
Motivational Monday
Tuesday Tips
Wednesday Wish List .. and What you are doing to obtain it.
Thankful Thursday
FUN Friday ... don't wait until you lose your weight.
Sit-up Saturdays - any physical activity
Share your Success Sunday
These are not required topics ...just ideas to share. We often find them very helpful. We also share heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations.
We have several extra threads going on simutaneously such as Monthly Challenges, Weekly Weigh-ins, Recipes, Bios, and more. Please feel free to check them all out.
We have found this thread to be more than just a support group...
we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us.
WELCOME!
I know you'll all agree that we are really thankful for the free services here at 3FC. The sisters offer all of this support and information with no charges to us. There are a couple of ways though that we can help out.
If you are thinking about buying anything at Amazon, why not help out 3FC at the same time? You can do this by clicking on the button for Amazon on any page in the forum, or by clicking on the button on the main 3FC page at www.3fatchicks.com . A portion of your purchase price will be given to 3FC by Amazon. It doesn't increase your price at all, but it does help out 3FC. You can use any of the Amazon.com links that you see on the site in order to help contribute to the site.
Also, BTW, in case you didn't know it, you can view the message boards "ad free" for a minimal charge. I think it's like $15 for 6 months. A very small investment to be rid of the annoying ads and make your pages load quicker.
There have been some concerns expressed by the powers that be about copyright infringement. So please, if you are directly quoting someone else or printing an article in whole or in part, please give credit where credit is due!!!!
Hello. I am new here on 3fatchicks and I found this board, I thought I would ask to join you all. Ummmm . . . . I guess I will start with a bit about me:
I am 28 (tomorrow!), live in Houston, Texas. I am married and we have one 9 month old son together (hubby has 2 older sons from his first marriage). I weigh well over 300 (like around 340 I guess). I just began weight watchers core program, and I am excited about that.
I have been struggling quite a bit these days with being big and feeling really bad about it. Both my parents were big, and I just sort of gave up and figured I had no chance. But the core program looks promising to me. I just need to figure out how to exercise! I am soooooooo lazy when it comes to that. But between my baby, my step-kids, my niece and nephew who I care for 5 days a week and being so out of shape, I am so tired in any bits of "free-time" I get. I am also so shy about exercising in public! Silly I guess.
It was nice to see a group of people who are able to relate to me. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone here.
Cerro--WELCOME! This is a GREAT group for support and answers to just about any questions, whether weight loss related or not! About the exercise...I am insanely lazy as well But what I've been trying to tell myself, and I would like to mention to you as well, is that you don't have to be all gung-ho and do an hour of high-impact cardio or anything right off the bat. We just need to start with ANYTHING--and it certainly doesn't have to be in public! No expensive gym membership necessary to check some workout videos out from the library or go for a quick walk around the block. Just try doing some more physical activities with the kids, park further from the door when you go shopping, take stairs instead of an elevator to a second floor...every little bit adds up, so don't let it overwhelm you!
Cerro! Welcome! I know you'll love this place! So full of support, and our resident success stories! (such as Zelma)
I wish you the best of luck on WW!!!
Crock - yes I guess treating myself normally would have been something tasty. But nope, I am doing so well now, any treats I have will be non edible ones, and I do love my new bag
Can't say that I have noticed the thread slowing down when it gets close to 30 posts, I will have to pay more attention
You know that paper you have to do on torture, does it have to be factual about different methods of torture over the years, or can it be about stuff like the torture of dieters walking past a bakery I bet you could write pages about diet torture!!
Oh and I loved hearing the amen preaching to my sister, yes it's been a while
Annie - oooh you like hand bags too. I love them but am still trying to find the 'perfect' bag. One that holds all I need it to hold, look good, not be too expensive, and be easy to get into.
Nancy - you said it, money doesn't bring happiness, but lack of it sure can make you miserable. Worry about paying debts, worry about affording your kids clothes etc, it all brings so much stress to relationships. I am glad you got to talk to your BF about your financial situation. It might have depressed him, but if it spurs him onto trying to sort something out, then it's a good thing.
Patti - I have put all my stuff in my new bag, and now I can't wait to go out with it
Cerro - hello and I am glad you found us. It does make the world of difference being amongst people who really know what it's like to be as big as we are, and the weight loss journey we have in front of us.
Sounds like you get quite a lot of exercise just from being a mum, but if you feel you need to do more, try walking places instead of taking the car etc. Or you could get yourself an exercise DVD. There are some that have a selection of 10 minute work outs, I am sure you could try to squeeze one of them into your day.
I am doing the WW diet, but I am using the points plan. I hope that the core plan will suit you and that you will soon see the lbs coming off.
Teahoney - congrats on the loss. I bet you haven't just lost water but since you are not drinking soda anymore, your body has had less empty calories. It makes total sense to me that you've lost weight, just by cutting out soda.
Julee - I agree with Ammi, just tell the girl that you see how much you are inconveniencing her and that this is not what you intended so you are relieving her of the obligation and don't want her to feel bad about it cuz you are sure you won't have a problem having someone else in the wedding party or will be “happy” to "make do" with fewer bridesmaids. Take the high road honey, and get rid of her! This is your WEDDING and, barring the birth of a baby, this is probably the most important day of your life.
Hi Ammi, Crockett, Sharon, Kayle, Luan, Patti, Lori, Zelma, Dogpal and the rest of you lovely ladies!! Hope you are having a great OP day! :-)
Nancy - when I was in my late 20's my g/f (who remains one of my best friends) was a MESS with finances. She was in the habit of taking her meager paycheck to the "paycheck advance" place and getting herself into debt every week - partly due to lack of self-disciple, partly due to her inability to budget, partly due to her very low wage. She was awful about budgeting but would spend money on YET another music tape she HAD TO HAVE (I would tell her turning on the radio in the US was FREE and she didn't need to spend money she didn't HAVE on music - LOL). Oh, and don't get me started on all the checks she used to bounce. Oh yeah, and she smoked about a pack and a half of cigarettes each day so she was literally burning up money!
So anyway, I told her that if she was interested in us living together we'd play by MY rules. We'd sit down and do a budget for the household; she was to give me her paycheck every week and, since we would have a joint checking account, all the receipts for all her expenditures. I would handle the rest. Since I was making 2x more than she did, we did a budget that called for her paycheck to help pay for 1/3 of the expenses and I'd pay 2/3 of things (like rent, utilities, car expenses, groceries, household goods, etc). That way, she didn’t have to spend a disproportionate amount of money on essentials and have no money left over at the end of the month. Also, we both got an allowance each week to spend on frivolous things like her music and my manicures. Needless to say, our finances just kept getting better...and a few months later she quit smoking when she got bronchitis so, all of the sudden our expenses diminished considerably - I used that money to pay off some of her debt, since it was HER money she was spending on smokes. And, when she saw how responsible I was with our money - saving 10% of our income for a rainy day, budgeting in January for future dental work and Christmas gifts, etc. she started taking on certain responsibilities where it made better financial sense for her to do. For example, she is great at stretching a dollar at the grocery store and I can walk out of there with ONE bag of food and pay three times as much at the checkout as she would have. So, once she started shopping for us, we had more food each week on the same money. We were together for 3 years and we never argued about money. In that department, I was the boss, pure and simple.
When my most current ex, L, and her husband were together, she took a personal finance course and became the person in charge of the household money. She paid all the bills, dealt with the tenants, paid the taxes, etc. Her husband was more than happy to just hand over his check and let her do that kind of work. When she and I got together, the tables turned. We never pooled our money, but since I was helping her administer with her business finances, I just took over her personal finances too.
Now I must say, when I met her, L was already a responsible adult financially in a way the g/f I had in my late 20's wasn't. L and I have the same values about money - we pay our respective credit card bills in full at the end of the month...and if we don't have the money to buy something, then we don't need it. So, in this case, it just became an administrative function, not a "parental" function, which I don't advocate for a long-term relationship.
And that brings me to your situation. I agree with you wholeheartedly - you should NOT pay for his debt. You didn't incur it; it is not your responsibility. And, I think the question is whether or not he can come to take on your values around money, spending, and short-term sacrifice of instant gratification for the sake of a long-term goal (yes, very much like not eating that brownie today so that you can be healthy enough to go hiking regularly without pain in 20 years!!!). If he can agree on the principles, then perhaps you can take on the administration? You are better at managing finances, so why not do it for him? How do you guys distribute your household responsibilities? Perhaps he can take up one of your chores and you can manage his finances. This would ONLY work, of course, if you two have the same values and he doesn't resent you when you say "no, right now is not a good time to spend money on this or that." And having him change those values may be impossible.
My parents were marriage and business partners for their entire lives and when it came to money, they were always on the same page - spend less, save more, invest in the long-term. Those values and their hard work made it possible for two working class immigrants who only finished high school to pay for their three kids to go to college AND graduate school (thanks Mom and Dad!). That is the kind of partnership I want for myself. Besides, CA is a community property state - both for federally-sanctioned marriages and CA domestic partners. There is no way I am willing to sacrifice my financial stability because of some else's financial mismanagement. I know it sounds harsh, but I am very clear on that.
Not sure that this long tale of mine is of any help...but that is my two cents on the matter.
OK, back to the stuff I was doing before I got on here.
Corecerro! Bravo for you for starting journey, and we're glad your here to share it with us. These folks are a lifeline for me, whether I need a boost, a pat on the back or a just a shoulder. Jump right in anytime!
We're still out in SLC. We got the truck unloaded this morning and while we are waiting for the next load we're visiting our wonderful agent out here. Then they took us to lunch and I had some of the best spicy shrimp in the world.
After several hours of wreaking havoc in their office (eating plants, stealing computer parts, paper, a broom, hats and anything else not nailed down) poor Simon was banished to the truck. At least his paw is looking pretty good. He still looks a little sore on it, but it is much better thank goodness! I love that rotten little egg!!
Valerie - thank so much for the advice on the food. I had heard about not eating eggplant, tomatoes, green peppers and that other thing I cannot remember. My pain is not so difficult to deal with that I can go without using tomatoes - which I love. Though this weekend, again, noticed the sugar thing. I was really craving ice cream so I had myself an ice-cream cone. Within 1/2 hour my joints were hurting again. So, I'm officially off sugar. If, in a couple of months, they still hurt, I'll have to stop eating tomatoes, etc.
..and if we don't have the money to buy something, then we don't need it. So, in this case, it just became an administrative function, not a "parental" function, which I don't advocate for a long-term relationship.
And that brings me to your situation. I agree with you wholeheartedly - you should NOT pay for his debt. You didn't incur it; it is not your responsibility. And, I think the question is whether or not he can come to take on your values around money, spending, and short-term sacrifice of instant gratification for the sake of a long-term goal (yes, very much like not eating that brownie today so that you can be healthy enough to go hiking regularly without pain in 20 years!!!). If he can agree on the principles, then perhaps you can take on the administration? You are better at managing finances, so why not do it for him? How do you guys distribute your household responsibilities? Perhaps he can take up one of your chores and you can manage his finances. This would ONLY work, of course, if you two have the same values and he doesn't resent you when you say "no, right now is not a good time to spend money on this or that." And having him change those values may be impossible.
Maria.... You were talking to me, too. Now, all I need is the hootzba to tell him so, and the drive to pick up the reins again. Very accurate, that advice.
MariaLucia~ I just love reading your posts.. You write so well..
Ammi~ the torture essay is our opinion and using 3 resources to back up how we feel about torture.. I wish it could be about the diet torture,, however, on a good note,, on the SBD I have not had the cravings, or trouble with that.. but when I did the ATKINS I sure did.. but ohhhhhhhhh I know how it feels...LOL.
Patti~ I know what you mean about this thread getting us through the day, It helps, plus I know these girls will hold me accountable if I screw this up.. and Thinking of that helps as well..
Nancy: I am in charge of our finances and if it were my husband we would have tons of stuff and be in debt up to our eyeballs. You are on the right track. MariaLucia's advice is exactly what I would tell you. A book that really helped my husband see where I was coming from is: Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. It really helped him to see another way of life for us. Good luck.
Corecerro: Welcome to our forum. I think you will love being here. Everyone is so sweet and it sure is nice to have other people that have been or are where you are and know exactly what you go through each day. I think Jillybean gave you wonderful advice about exercise. Just try to do one extra thing a day. Pretty soon you will be moving way more. I myself do the eliptical at home and go to Curves 3 times a week right now. I hope to make it 5 times a week at Curves as time goes. I am just getting myself to move too. I used to swim every day and lost 40 pounds but moving in the water and out of the water is way different at my weight. Good luck with what ever it is you decide to do for exercise.
MariaLucia: Hi and great advice to Nancy! We are on the same page as far as money.
Val: Big hi and it was great to talk with you. Glad Simon is better.
To everyone else I didn't mention by name: big hugs and hello hope you are all op.
300+ And Ready To Try Again.....#901
But what I've been trying to tell myself, and I would like to mention to you as well, is that you don't have to be all gung-ho and do an hour of high-impact cardio or anything right off the bat. We just need to start with ANYTHING--and it certainly doesn't have to be in public! No expensive gym membership necessary to check some workout videos out from the library or go for a quick walk around the block. Just try doing some more physical activities with the kids, park further from the door when you go shopping, take stairs instead of an elevator to a second floor...every little bit adds up, so don't let it overwhelm you!
yes I guess treating myself normally would have been something tasty. But nope, I am doing so well now, any treats I have will be non edible ones, and I do love my new bag 
I am glad you found us. It does make the world of difference being amongst people who really know what it's like to be as big as we are, and the weight loss journey we have in front of us. 
Corecerro! Bravo for you for starting journey, and we're glad your here to share it with us. These folks are a lifeline for me, whether I need a boost, a pat on the back or a just a shoulder. Jump right in anytime!
