I agree with the others, find a new doctor. i went to a new doctor last year, one of the first things she told me after I gave her my list of pains, etc., was that my main problem was my weight. She never mentioned WLS, but left the room and came back with a folder full of hand-outs, booklets on calorie counting, etc. She told me that we needed to figure out a plan for me so that I could feel better. I was 346 at that doctors appt. and felt like crawling under the table, but she was nice and didn't make me feel bad about myself. She asked about my portions sizes, my non-existent exercise plan, how much I got up and moved during the day...she really seemed to want to help me. It made me feel better to have someone actually say 'hey, you can do this if you want to, you just have to be willing to try'. I went back a month later and was down 10 pounds, she was so happy for me and kept telling me how good I was doing. Yes, I have fallen off of the wagon and been run over by the bus driving behind it, but I am pulling myself back up again.
SO PLEASE, find a new doctor who will support you and try to help you!
As for a child in the NICU, my son was almost a month early and was in the NICU for a while, it took me 2 days to try to touch his little bandaged up foot and about 4 days to be able to hold him, even then it was tangled in wires and breathing tube hoses. But he made it home (will be 21 months old next week) and has had constant problems since, so I know how it is to never have the time or energy to think of yourself. But we have to do this for them too, they need their mommies to be healthy so we can take care of them!!
If you ever need anything, I am only a click away!
Shutterbug thanks for sharing your NICU experience. My son was born 2 1/2 months early and was only 1 pound 14 ounces. We were in the NICU for 4 months. He came home with oxygen and still is on oxygen 8 months later. Also due to chronic lung disease he can not eat by mouth so he has a feeding tube in his stomach. And other issues. Nice to see other preemie moms on here!
I also agree with everyone else. I think I will do my labs and get my updated dosages of medicine but after that I will find a new Dr.
Wow, that kind of made me want to cry... and punch your doctor. If surgery isn't the choice you want to make, she shouldn't push it on you. It is possible to do this on your own. Prove that doctor wrong! And even if you do at some point decide to go with surgery, it's YOUR decision, not hers.
That is just horrible {{{Hugs}}} I agree with everyone else when I say, time to look for a new doctor! You need to have a supportive team behind you and if you choose to get the surgery that should be your choice, not hers. When I was at my very heaviest, I weighed 448 lbs and I was in my early 20s and my doctor told me I would never make it to age 30, well I'm pushing 40 now, though I still look like I'm in my early 20s. Well I lost almost 200 lbs, I got down to 237 lbs, but I got really bad arthritis in my ankles and my doctors wouldn't give me anything for the pain, so I gained over 100 lbs overdosing on nSAIDs and eating junk because I controlled my weight by eating one meal a day, so then I got cocky, why not two, lol.
Well I got up to 351 lbs, but I've gotten most of that off. I am 274 right now. Which is not at all where I wanted to be, but it proves you cannot only do it once, but you can do it again. Don't let her words discourage. It is true, statistically speaking, only 5% of dieters maintain their weight loss, even dieters who only have 30 lbs to lose or so, but it CAN be done, very much so. I almost wish no one knew I was dieting or losing weight, it's an experiment, a challenge, an unknown, there will be setbacks and failures, and people's reactions when you gain the weight back can be awful, but you just need need to keep moving forward.
For those that need WLS, that's their tool to help them, but you can do it either way, and it is possible to do it without surgery. Now my doctors have told me I'd never get below 200 lbs. Well, we'll see about that. But I remember a line from Gorden Gecko in "Wall Street", he had gone totally broke and he wasn't worried: "there's money to be made, lots of money out there" (paraphrasing). Most millionaires have that attitude. I take that to mean that you've done it before, you can do it again. It may be hard, but you can do it. Surgery is not a magic potion, it will take calorie counting and exercise anyway, it's just a tool. Don't let her words discourage you!
I think in many ways we are still in the dark ages as far as medicine goes. I really don't trust doctors as far as I can throw them, although they mean well, and of course, we need them, but we're a long way from Star Trek-style futuristic knowledge. You can do this!
Last edited by Thin Desire; 01-01-2011 at 05:56 PM.
facing and treating your anxiety and depression is such an important step. you sound like you are on a great path, you have a very thoughtful plan that addresses your own needs and complexities. there are statistics and trends, and there are individuals. you have obviously given this a lot of thought and you have an open mind. go with what feels right for you! i look forward to hearing about your progress!!!!
Forgive me, as I post on another thread, but I saw your tag line and read your post. I know it is hard, but you MUST stand up for yourself to this doctor. SHE does not make your health decisions, you do. You are very young to go through this procedure and you do have the ability to lose the weight by changing your way of eating. If you had a surgeon who routinely does these surgeries say he didn't recommend it, listen to him. He is trained to know this stuff.
One thing I would do though is if you are having real issues using food for stress, comfort, whatever, find someone to talk to and deal with those issues. They are what are holding you back to be the person you really want to be. If you can't afford a therapist, etc, find a good self help book that teaches you how to change how you view food.
Good luck to you and I KNOW you have the strength and courage to lose the weight and become the beautiful young woman you are!!!!!
I agree with the previous advice to find a different dr. Honestly, from reading your post, it sounds like if you had the surgery without addressing the other issues (turning to food to deal with negative emotions) you would eat through it. I have known people in real life that have done it...there's a huge mental aspect of it that would not be "fixed" with surgery...It just doesn't sound like you are in the right place to use that tool.
What about a cheaper, less invasive solution like the gowear fit or something? That would show you how many calories you're burning and tell you exactly where you need to be eating to start losing weight?
Whatever you do, I hope you have great sucess in the journey!
Just wanted to a quick update on this...
Went back to the Dr. after she ran labs and her tune totally changed. My labs basically showed she was not listening to me. I told her I felt bad and just so tired and I felt it wasn't just my weight.
Well yeah, turns out I had quite a vitamin deficiency and my thyroid was literally not even working. My level was a 8.4. Its supposed to be between 0.3. to 3.
So she really started working on getting me on the right meds and making me feel better. And agreed with me trying to do things to lose weight.
Never, ever give up, hang in there! I've lost and gained and lost the weight again, it IS possible and I WILL get to my goal. Do not let anyone alter your body if you don't want it done. Your body is yours and your choice. For those that choose the surgery, that is good for them, but don't let any doctor make that decision for you. It IS possible {{hugs}} Hang in there. My highest weight was 448, then I went down to 237 and up again to 351, and back down to 275. It IS possible to do it again. It's a ***** and a half, but don't let anyone take your power from you. You have it within you, you're stronger than you think.
Definitely new doctor time!! I started 6 months ago at 380 and have stuck STRICTLY to 1200-1600 cals a day and have already shed 117 lbs. Yu can do it too!! You have already lost a lot before. You know you can do it. Good luck!!
Hey hun first of all Im so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I know first hand that family problems can take a huge toll on us women, but you also have to sit back and think... are you helping the situation the answer to that is no. When you do better things for your body you will feel better and have more energy. Ok and now on to the next thing... your dr she is absolutely wrong, and I'm sure that you're very aware of that. If you look through the goal and mini goal sections of this site you will clearly see that this is something that you can do. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication but YOU CAN DO IT! I have just started my journey but it is already paying off.
I wish you the best of luck and we are here for you.
One thing you may want to do is contact the gallbladder surgeon and see if he has a suggestion for a GP?
While I realize that your current doctor may be a nice woman, the thing is if she didn't listen to you about this, then she's not going to listen to you again somewhere down the line. Next time, though, you may not have the expertise on the subject to say "No" or realize that you do have other options.
Don't confuse being "nice" with being "competent". It's part of the doctor's job to listen to you and if they aren't doing that, they are only looking at the problem from a set perspective instead of taking the whole thing in account.
I have been overweight all my life, been to many doctors, some advised a diet but never surgery. My best friend had the bypass. Guess what? If you dont get the mental help you just substitute food for something else- possibly liquor?
GET A NEW DOC
I think "eff you" might have slipped from my lips as I asked for a referral from someone who wasn't so short-sighted.
