Yay!! The scale had me hovering at 299-300lbs. today. Woo hoo!!! I wish I had the gif of the dancing baby from ally mcbeal (even though I really didn't watch the show, I remember that gif). :c arrot::car rot::carro t:
Today started out good---I felt so good about my weightloss, but then I was in a situation where I just felt kind of huge. I overate a bit and had some looking on my plate, but I didn't get 2nds, so I feel good about that. Then, I was in a situation where I felt a bit out of place and unaccomplished. It made me go home feeling kind of bad about myself.
I feel like I have been through a lot, and my weight is a clear result of it all---I can now admit it. But, as I haven't completely worked through everything I felt in the past, or how I was raised, or mommy and daddy issues, I can't just put it all to bed, ya know? I still have the food issues I have, because of the whole emotional eating aspect. I wish I could just stop eating at times, i really do. But my body is so weird---the few times I fasted I didn't lose any weight, so unless I were to not eat for weeks, it wouldn't work for me, I think. Though, I do wish I could take 1 month, and eat just 1000 calories a day. I know that would help to get the scale moving in my favor and get my weight below 300lbs.
I also feel bad because I am happy to be lower weight, but gee, I am still at 300lbs, so I can't really be jumping up and down---especially since I know how good 240lbs felt, and how much better I felt, and how much more attractive people felt that I was.
I know I need to just stay focused on the important stuff. I think the events today kind of made me feel a bit bad about myself---I just felt fat and frumpy and unattractive and just, well, out of place.
I am going to do some stretches and think better about tomorrow. I need to make a better attempt at showing the inner woman I am inside. Right now I am just feeling a bit like a lump of fat.
Just checking in. I am still breathing and all of that
So, my food has not been good lately---eating lots of sugar and sweets, though my appetite has really, really gone down and I am not sure why. I am still checking my weight everyday, so I am not gaining weight, and still hovering below 300lbs.
I am going to increase my water intake and see if that helps as I do not drink enough water by any means.
So, my food has not been good lately---eating lots of sugar and sweets, though my appetite has really, really gone down and I am not sure why. I am still checking my weight everyday, so I am not gaining weight, and still hovering below 300lbs.
I am going to increase my water intake and see if that helps as I do not drink enough water by any means.
Glad you are still around! I hear ya on the sugar!! Its a hard habit to quit, but keep trying! Giving that up will be the start of you losing. Water will always be a good addition to your plan.
I am still here! Just been super busy and stressed lately. My weight loss has slowed down a bit, and I am eating even less than before. So, now, it is probably that I need to make sure that I eat something healthy every few hours. I feel like I seem to just now have a small breakfast and lunch, and then i have started to not be hungry for dinner. I know, not a good thing.
Not sure why I am not really hungry, but, if I don't feel well, then I will see a doctor about it. For right now, I am just trying my best to focus on watching my portion sizes, and the type of food I am eating when I do feel hungry. I will also start back to writing down my food.
I am hovering in the range of around 298-302lbs, depending on the day. I also realize that I need to drink a lot more water (I have been kind of subsisting on coffee and caffeinated drinks) and get a lot more sleep, so that my body can metabolize the food I eat better. I am also eating more fruits and veggies. I actually have started to be able to not clean my plate when I go out to eat----something that I did not really think was possible, unless I as taking extra home, or had eaten a meal BEFORE going out to eat!
Thank you all for your encouragement and support. it really means a lot to me.
I was so happy when I got on the scale again. My weight is again below 300lbs. Woo hoo! For a few days it hovered at 300-302lbs. Not cool! But I admit that at night I had been going out with a friend and enjoying sweets. Not dinner, but sweets. I know that is not good.
I am refocusing on my weight loss. I have lost enough that people who really care have noticed. Everyone else seems oblivious. I can notice in my clothes as well, and that just feels really good.
I have a fridge stocked with healthy food for most of the rest of the month, so I am very happy about that. I also focused on buying lower-carb foods, and tons of more veggies and fruits, organic when I can afford it.
I feel like I really have to focus on my health, as it helps me to not get caught up in other things that are bothering me in my life. I want to just focus on being the person that I know I am inside.
I admit that I have been eating a lot out of comfort the past few days. My appetite returned, which, is not so good, as I feel so hungry at times. I think I just need to eat more protein, which I have been sorely lacking. I have also been working a lot and not getting enough rest, which explains the hunger, etc.
I need to recommit myself to my weightloss so I can focus on it. Right now, things are stressful and I just feel like I am not respected in some situations, and all of that negativity is distracting. Its like I feel myself getting sucked into being up and down from how a person is treating me. They are in a position of power, so their opinion matters, it just feels like no matter how good I am, they will always look down on me.
When I focus on my weight and things I want to accomplish in my life, then it helps me to not get so involved in their usual little put downs and comments. They seem almost angry at my weightloss or any improvements that I am making. Why?
On a good note, I am working on another topic and it is going good. Yay! I wasn't sure I would be good at it, but I feel like I need to have more faith in myself. I also have a new male friend that is very nice to me, and even though I am not sure if it will be love, he is treating me in a more traditional way than my ex. I am upset at times because my ex is going through some difficulties and I feel so bad for him, but I am also hurt because though he says we are friends, it feels like he is trying to avoid me. He isn't able to help me as he said he would. Sigh. And it is sad because I haven't changed being nice to him even though we aren't together. So, it isn't like I am trying to reestablish anything. Guys are weird.
I need to just refocus on eating healthy. I have been giving into my sweet tooth and not eating anywhere near enough protein. So yeah, my weight is just staying the same.....better than increasing, but it would be nice to continue to lose weight.
So, the scale was nice to me this morning and had me back under 300lbs. Woo hoo! I have been feeling so stressed this month, and I think the high cortisol levels and my eating tons of carbs have been contributing to my not losing weight.
I am hoping to be able to lose weight this month.
I have been having some health issues, and am getting frustrated because my doctors don't seem to listen much. Sigh. I am just feeling so overwhelmed with finances and work and sometimes I just don't feel strong, ya know? I am trying to keep it altogether, and maybe re-focusing on my weightloss will help to level things out, maybe.
I love those double cheeseburgers too! I used to order the meals, then figured out that I really didn't like the fries and didn't want the soda, so I just got the burger. Then I figured out I really didn't like the buns either, so I switched to the Carl's Jr. Low Carb Burger or the Jack-In-The-Box Grilled Chicken Strips. That's where I am now on the fast food battle. I really need to give those up, because I watched the documentaries Supersize Me, King Corn and Food Inc. and I feel very compelled to never eat out again. I'm on the hunt for grass-fed chicken and beef now. And I've come to enjoy cooking with grass-fed bison. But they're all pricey, so more beans and rice for now!
Food Inc. and Supersize Me totally changed the way I look at food as well. I knew some of the stuff already but FI really opened my eyes. I am getting King Corn right now
Last edited by mamadoll; 09-08-2010 at 03:23 PM.
Reason: To reduce redundancy.
I did good today while grocery shopping-----I had the option of buying some yummy biscuits, and instead, just put them back on the shelf after walking around them for a bit. I thought of how fattening they were, and how I need to be eating more veggies and fruit and protein, and less bread stuff.
I have started weighing myself again, and am just taking things one day at a time. I thankfully have enough food for the rest of the month. I just have to break the comforting habits I created recently (pastries with lattes, etc.).
I am also thinking about getting my body in shape for having children. I am getting older and the weight is really kicking my a**, so I need to really fix it before I get too old.
I think I will take myself off the dating market for a while. The guy I met is nice, but he doesn't seem too interested in having a real relationship, and I don't need to try and convince someone to call me or like me or be with me, etc. And, I feel like I need to put more energy into fixing myself and my life, rather than meeting some guy.
Million! Good to see and hear from you again I'm excited to hear that you're working on reincorporating good habits and making yourself a priority! Keep us posted!
