So I just wanted to talk about yet another incident where people just dont seem to get it. When you are overweight, you get into embarrassing situations quite often. And yesterday was just another example.
We have bistro tables outside of work so if you would like to eat your lunch outside you can. I have sat out there only a few times, because the chairs are rather uncomfortable. They are metal, and the arms of the chairs dig into my hips a little. (think of those awful tight plastic lawn chairs that people always have at picnics) its like umm do i try and sit down and risk that my butt spills over the sides or worse, i cant even sit down?
anyway i go to lunch with the same group and have said that i find the chairs very uncomfortable and that i like to eat inside. well yesterday turned into this huge ordeal. one person wanted to eat outside, another didnt care and then there's me of course.
long story short i said really i dont mind if you two want to eat outside but i will just stay in here as i am more comfortable. that turned into this big im gonna huff and puff nonsense and we awkwardly ate lunch inside while not speaking.
later i told her privately that its difficult when you are overweight to just squeeze into a chair anywhere. and she claims i never said anything about being uncomfortable, and that she just didnt understand because she doesnt have to think about that stuff!!
Just thought I would share this story since it probably happens more often than people care to think of. We try to forget these types of situations, however it causes anxiety for a lot of us when going to a picnic, or out to a restaurant, and don't get me started on amusement parks.
Here's to us all meeting our goals and sitting our tooshes anywhere we please! Good luck today all!!
sorry that you were put into that position..funny how when we go anywhere first thing we survey is the chairs! People who have never had this problem don't think about those of us that do unfortunatley. I have a big mouth so I would be the one yelling I ain't sitting out there my dang butt wont fit in those chairs like you skinny people. LOL That usually takes care of it.
Im sorry you had that experience. Maybe the other lady really DIDN'T know why you would have been uncomfortable outside until you explained it to her.
I am of the mindset that anyone should be able to say anything without it hurting another persons feelings. Was it the voice inflection you or the other ladies used when discussing the issue that caused the stir?
They know what they are doing, and the thing is, I don't intend to be mean here, but a friend of mine, who is really really tiny, once said something to me about someone else. Okay, here is the situation: She was having a bad day, and she wanted to take it out on someone, and she chose a very overweight lady who was kind of a friend of mine, and basically she wanted to embarrass the girl for being overweight just to be mean. Now, I AM NOT SAYING that your friend did this, but I am just saying that most people are aware of the discomforts of others and want to make themselves feel better by thinking they are "better" or "superior".
I hope I'm wrong, and will take all the comments that come, but this is the thing I believe or it wouldn't have been that big of a deal.
I can say first hand that many fit people DO NOT think about chairs having arms on them. Even when I was obese, I didn't--I wasn't to the point I couldn't fit in armed chairs. Even with me having an adoptive mom that is morbidly obese, I sometimes forget when I am with her to look at chairs and the like.
That being said, mature people--when they realize the issue at hand--are completely understanding about things like this.
I dont think people realize this at all. I actually had no idea about this until one day I went to a restaurant and realized that I could barely fit into these wooden chairs that they had and had to sit in them in a weird way during the whole lunch. That was actually what finally made me realize that yes I was overweight and needed to start on the journey of exercising and eating healthy.
I am with you 100% and have had the chair issue many times. In addition to the chairs, I have to consider booth space and if the table can move to allow me to comfortably fit. My lunch pals are pretty good about paying attention now, but it took some reminders!
I am so ready to be able to go to a cookout or campfire and not worry about bringing my own lawn chair everywhere!
I recently had the opportunity to be involved in picking out office furniture for our new office suite. I made sure that none of our guest chairs had arms. It was good to be able to be in on the meetings and educate my thin co-workers on things to think about when choosing furniture our students would be waiting in.
Im sorry you had that experience. Maybe the other lady really DIDN'T know why you would have been uncomfortable outside until you explained it to her.
I am of the mindset that anyone should be able to say anything without it hurting another persons feelings. Was it the voice inflection you or the other ladies used when discussing the issue that caused the stir?
I consider this person a friend, not close friends but I share with her my weightloss journey. She goes to the gym everyday so I talk to her for motivation to keep going. Because of the conversations I have had in the past, I do feel like she knew why I felt uncomfortable. I suppose it was the way she reacted that caught me off guard.
They know what they are doing, and the thing is, I don't intend to be mean here, but a friend of mine, who is really really tiny, once said something to me about someone else. Okay, here is the situation: She was having a bad day, and she wanted to take it out on someone, and she chose a very overweight lady who was kind of a friend of mine, and basically she wanted to embarrass the girl for being overweight just to be mean. Now, I AM NOT SAYING that your friend did this, but I am just saying that most people are aware of the discomforts of others and want to make themselves feel better by thinking they are "better" or "superior".
I hope I'm wrong, and will take all the comments that come, but this is the thing I believe or it wouldn't have been that big of a deal.
It's interesting that you brought that up, since I have had a number of "one up" situations with this person. She is also getting married at the same time, and she's made comments about why I picked something or how she doesn't agree with brides that....fill in the blank, when I literally told her the day before that I had done...fill in the blank.
It's almost like people say they don't understand so you have to bite the bullet and just come out and admit something embarrassing like that.
I am not sure that it's what happened here, at least I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, however I know there are people like that out there. It just amazes me how people can be so cruel sometimes.
Thank you all for your comments. It's really great to have a place to voice these types of unique situations we find ourselves in that others have no idea about, and might not even understand.
if a group of us want to eat somewhere , and i see the chairs are too small, i usually ask them if they have seen shallow hal? the scene where the chair legs spread out... when theyh say yes, i say 'im not sitting there or we will have a repeat of that', laugh, and its over and the mood usually stays good...
i just accept the fact im big and cant fit right now kinda like the fact my hair is curly and not straight, or i cant fit in a size 6.. its just part of me and i dont get embarrased or freel i cant say anything.. i know its not perm, just till i can get some of this tonage off lol.
On a positive note, we're not the only ones who have to worry about chairs. My son is a state patrolman and in excellent shape and in no way fat, but he can't sit in my kitchen chairs, that have arms, when he's in his uniform. Too much stiff on his belt. He catches his flashlight, gun, pepper spray, etc. on the arms. So, even skinny people have chair issues.
It's not only sitting IN the chairs and tables, but navigating between them. I grade a lot at Panera bread, and navigating between the tables there, or the desks in the college I work at, was something I had to carefully think about...
Does this happen to you?
Some people "do get it"...
Yes it is.
