Location: Houston, Tx, but Missouri in the summer on the lake.
Posts: 158
S/C/G: 150/148/125
Height: 5' 2"
I confess that I most likely gained weight this last year from my 26 year old skinny sister living with me. I am sooooo jealous of how easy it was for her to lose 30 pounds. Her laying out in a teeny bikini by my pool all year made me feel so bad about myself. It wasn't her fault that I am so lazy and insecure. I used to exercise so much more than I did this year. It's like I have given up.
I confess I am also jealous of all the 40-50 somethings that live be me and are stick thin. I don't know how they do it with all the alcohol they drink. I want to enjoy booze that much and not gain weight.
I confess that today I went over my allowed calories with tons of junk food.
I confess that I really want to switch back to diet coke so I can feel full again. If it wasn't for being off of it for 6 months I so would. The artificial sweetener in it scare me.
I confess that tomorrow at the blueberry patch I will have a Thunder Muffin, which will go directly to my Thunder Thighs. It's like a 600 calorie muffin, I can't resist it. Have them just once a year.
I confess that when I put on a Size 8 pair of pants and they fit, I assume either the sizing is messed up, or the brand runs too big, or something isn't right, because I couldn't possibly fit in a "true" Size 8. (Even though I now have 3 pairs in 2 different brands that fit.)
Great thread....
* I confess that I want to look hot
* I confess that even though I lost 70 + pounds so far that I dont see that big of a difference
* I confess that once I hit my goal weight and maintain for 1 yr, Im getting a host of cosmetic surgery (tummy tuck and a Brazilian butt liff then boob job and arm lift)
* I confess that I am scared I'll go into my old ways and gain this weight back
* I confess that I put my health first before work and will leave early to go to the gym if I can't make it in the morning
~I confess that I haven't even let my husband see me naked in probably over a year.
~I confess I see pics of me thin, and cry at the sight of them (I've gained 120lbs)
~I confess I use having my twins as an excuse to have gained all this weight.. even though I now weigh MORE than when I was pregnant with them... and they're 9 years old
~I confess I'm scared chitless that I'll never EVER reach my goal, as I've failed over and over.. and over.
~I confess I secretly want to lose this weight for mainly vanity reasons.... I say it's because I'd love to keep up with my kids, but honestly, by the time I get there, my kids will be too old to want to "play" with me anymore.
~I confess to using fad diet pills and laxatives in previous weight loss journeys... and they worked. I lost 50 lbs. But gained it all back, PLUS extra when I stopped.
I confess that I have completely neglected my goals for crunches and leg lifts this month...I haven't done any in like 2 weeks.
I also confess that I look at pictures and hate the way that I look. I want to lose the weight so that I will actually FEEL like someone finds me attractive.
I confess that I still don't know how to handle attention from men. It freaks me out b/c I'm not used to it.
And finally, I confess that for 7 years now I have let a man keep me on the sidelines while he was married, while he was single, and again while he's been engaged. I have allowed him into my bed on many occasions and have not felt an ounce of guilt over it. And I confess that, even though I want to think I don't have feelings for him, it really has hit me hard that he's getting married next month.
Location: Houston, Tx, but Missouri in the summer on the lake.
Posts: 158
S/C/G: 150/148/125
Height: 5' 2"
Oh Natasha! I let someone treat me like that from the age of 17-22. I thought I would never be able to survive without him. Clearly he could without me. I was just decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that he had girlfriends, other one night stands, or dates. He actually had me make him spaghetti one night for another woman. Clearly if I knew that I was making dinner for his date, I never would have. I look back through those awful years and realize that I had some serious self confidence issues. I luckily survive it, but it only ended because he found someone he could be serious with. I was never good enough to settle down with in HIS eyes. I now know after being married for 11 years that I wasted so much time on that scumbag. After being treated like a queen by my husband, I realized there are good men out there. Lucky for me he found someone else. Or I could still be in that cycle.
Maybe this guy getting married again is just what you need to break the cycle? Clearly he can't be faithful to whomever he is with. Ask yourself is that what you would want long term? Always having to wonder what he is doing or who? Right now you are closing your heart to other men, (single men) because you can't imagine being with anyone else. Kick him out of your life, start going out with friends, & let other men should you how a woman should be treated. This guy deserves to see that you think you are worth so much more than him. *hugs*
I confess... last night at around 11 pm, and after an amazing food day, my hubby ordered a panzarotti. And I ate about a 1/4 of it. I wasn't even HUNGRY, it just smelled SOOOO good. Afterwards I felt disgusting. I'm so disappointed in myself, but today is a new day. Back on track. (did NOT weigh myself today.. probably gained like 2 lbs from that)
I haven't done a lot of posting in years, but I've been reading this thread and love it!!
I confess that I want to look hot.
I confess that I really really believe that I have a lot to offer but can't find a boyfriend because I'm fat. I see every decent looking guy as "out of my league"
I confess that I want this guy that I've been "seeing" (stupid boys) to see me skinnier and want me the way I want him.
Oh Natasha! I let someone treat me like that from the age of 17-22. I thought I would never be able to survive without him. Clearly he could without me. I was just decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that he had girlfriends, other one night stands, or dates. He actually had me make him spaghetti one night for another woman. Clearly if I knew that I was making dinner for his date, I never would have. I look back through those awful years and realize that I had some serious self confidence issues. I luckily survive it, but it only ended because he found someone he could be serious with. I was never good enough to settle down with in HIS eyes. I now know after being married for 11 years that I wasted so much time on that scumbag. After being treated like a queen by my husband, I realized there are good men out there. Lucky for me he found someone else. Or I could still be in that cycle.
Maybe this guy getting married again is just what you need to break the cycle? Clearly he can't be faithful to whomever he is with. Ask yourself is that what you would want long term? Always having to wonder what he is doing or who? Right now you are closing your heart to other men, (single men) because you can't imagine being with anyone else. Kick him out of your life, start going out with friends, & let other men should you how a woman should be treated. This guy deserves to see that you think you are worth so much more than him. *hugs*
Thank you so much for your kind words. I saw a status on his FB today that alluded to the fact that he was having some kind of issue. His fiancee posted "we'll get through this" or something like that, so I sent him a private message just to make sure he was okay. His response was simply "I'm ok" and that's all. It was cold and distant...and I understand why, but it still ticked me off. Anyway, I think at this point I'm not going to be able to even be his friend. And that sucks b/c we've known each other for 13 years now. But continuing to make the same mistake over and over again w/ him is keeping me from completely giving myself to someone else. He is, and I know this, toxic to my happiness. So now I need to release my toxin and move on w/ life.
Location: Houston, Tx, but Missouri in the summer on the lake.
Posts: 158
S/C/G: 150/148/125
Height: 5' 2"
Natasha,
I really hope that you can do it. Don't even respond to anymore of his nonsense. You do not need someone in your life that will be cold and distant. Life is too short to settle. Expect better for yourself. Good Luck.
I confess that I am SO excited when a new lower size fits me in clothes, have a couple of happy days over it, and THEN start freaking out b/c the new lower size isn't totally loose and I start feeling fat in them.
I confess that I feel like I'm going to gain all my weight back, when I eat one bad thing, or have a day where I feel like I'm over on calories.
I confess that I like being considered small or 'tiny' and when I'm overweight I don't get those comments and it does actually affect me.
I confess that I'm not sure I'll ever reach a point where I'm totally happy with how I look or my weight.
I confess I had planned to indulge today.. I wanted a Sonic cream pie shake.. I went to their website and I was shocked at the fat grams and calories even in the mini So I won't be going. it's back to being good..
I confess I had planned to indulge today.. I wanted a Sonic cream pie shake.. I went to their website and I was shocked at the fat grams and calories even in the mini So I won't be going. it's back to being good..
My BF LOVES sonic and will pick it over the other fast food joints when we are in a hurry and I just let him decide.
It is the WORST place to try and eat low calorie! The shakes and stuff are unbelievable and their food just isn't good enough to splurge on IMO. Honestly, when he wants to go, I just wind up getting 3 chicken tenders and a large coke zero and making do with that.
The ice cream and such there is simply off the charts. They must still use the old cream/fat base mix that most other restaurants have stopped using.
I wasn't even HUNGRY, it just smelled SOOOO good. Afterwards I felt disgusting. I'm so disappointed in myself, but today is a new day. Back on track. (did NOT weigh myself today.. probably gained like 2 lbs from that)
So I won't be going.
it's back to being good..
